.AN: I put off work to get this up so you better lover it. This is one of my favorite chapters.

Tumble

This step, yes this one had been the one Cas had the hardest time with. He'd never even meant a girl he wanted to be with. Like everything Cas couldn't even see how they had gotten here. How they had went from a fight with his cousin Ralph to having sex. SEX! He thought he might throw up at any minuet. He'd done many things, was ready for so much more but this was too new.

It had all started with the fight. Ralph was going off about how Cas' father was dead. He'd never be coming back because 'he abandoned his family for another woman and then he died alone with none of his children around'. Cas could not it would not believe this. And even for his family he wouldn't let someone talk this way. Lucky for Ralph he was two yards over or he'd be out cold by now.

"You should stop talking about things you do not know Raphael."

Cas had said in such a low dangerous voice that even Dean had stepped back.

"Or what Castiel? I'm sorry your brothers choose to save you from that truth, but that's just what it is, the truth." "Your father is dead."

Ralph had to know he was breaking Cas' heart but he didn't seem to care. No way Cas would show any outward sigh of hispain, instead too ready to cause outward pain to Ralph.

"No!"

Cas had shouted first signs' of his facade fading.

"So what little Cassy? If he isn't dead he just left you? Right after you where born to top it off? It must have been you, he loved you so little, and you were such a disappointment he had to leave. Yeah I could see that."

Cas didn't even wait for Ralph to finish; he was already out and across the yard jumping the first fence before Ralph and Uriel had started to run off, Uriel not looking like he was into the 'game'. Ralph could run if he wanted to, Cas would have to look for him.

Cas went to Ralph's house, but he didn't answer when Cas calmly knocked. Instead his mom did.

"Aunt Missouri" Cas said in way of greeting.

"Cas babe what can I do for you?" Missouri asked sweet as ever.

"And hello Dean." She smiled back at Dean.

"Missouri." Dean nodded.

"Is Ralph home?" Cas asked sounding calm, but he wasn't fooling Dean or his aunt.

"No sugar, anything I can help you with?" She asked.

"No he and I simply have some things to discuss. Please let him know I am looking for him and would like him to be at my house tomorrow"

"Sure sweaty" Cas nodded to his aunt and with that Cas turned to leave.

"Cas?" Missouri called out.

"Yes aunt Missouri?" Cas turned to face her.

"Just keep in mind he's family, ok?"

"Of course, but I cannot over look his comments this time." Cas said cause Missouri to sigh.

"I know babe, but remember he doesn't have a daddy either."

"Then perhaps" Cas said now turning around again.

"He should not throw stones." And he walked away.

It was later at the Winchester house in Dean's room that the real trouble started.

"So you gonna kick Ralphs ass tomorrow man?" Dean asked lying over his bed.

"That is not likely Dean."

"What do you mean; I've seen you take bigger than him?"

"Yes but Ralph is family Dean, and it's likely he won't even come alone."

"You think he'll bring back up?" Dean sounded shocked.

"Yes Dean."

"You want me there as back up man?" Dean was now sitting up fully invested in the conversation.

"No Dean I do not believe that will be necessary."

"Do you not want me there then?"

Cas looked at Dean now, saw how he almost looked hurt.

"No Dean I believe I'd like you to be there, perhaps your presence alone will cause him shame if he brings others."

"So if he does bring help then what are your chances of making it out in one piece?"

"Low I suppose Dean."

"What are my chances?" Dean asked smiling now.

"They are high Dean." Cas smiled back.

"So you might die tomorrow, and to top that you're still a virgin?"

Cas didn't answer Dean just looked away as he turned red.

"Unless I missed something?" Dean was getting in Cas' space now."

"You did not Dean." And in a flash Dean was up.

"Get your coat, let's go." Dean was already head to the door.

"Where are we going Dean?" Cas asked.

"There are two things I'm sure about in life." Dean said holding up his head and pointing to his fingers.

"One Burt and Ernie are gay." Cas laughed at this, Dean had been saying that since he was eight.

"And two, no way I'm letting you die a virgin."

And that was how they found themselves at the Collins.

"Dean, even Misha knows I shouldn't be here."

Cas said, his voice already sounded so defeated. If Dean hadn't backed down from this idea yet he wouldn't be.

"I'm not ready."

"Misha said that?"

Cas looked away with eyes the size of saucers. Desperately wanting to change the subject, leave, anything but what Dean brought him here to do. Instead he chugged the beer that Jen brought him.

"Misha's a whore."

Dean said and even though Cas knew that Dean was joking, he also knew it to be true. Cas really didn't want this. Not his first time with a woman of such loose morals.

"This seems wrong Dean. You know she's probably only doing this to get back at her dad." Cas was pulling at straws now.

"Come on Cas what easy girl doesn't have daddy issues?" Dean shot back with ease.

"I'm not sure Dean."

Cas' voice was starting to shake and he tried hard to keep Dean from hearing it. His face was hot and he knew his eyes were still large. Surely he could talk Dean out of this and still save face. Couldn't he?

"Cas man, you full on rebelled against your family, slut-ting around should be one of the perks."

It was then that Misha came back to retrieve her pray. Cas took in her boy shorts and bra. How hair almost black hair caught the light and her milky skin almost glowed. He knew he should want to be with her. Knew he should have jumped at the chance. It was her eyes though. Their bright blue could have been beautiful, but the studied him, devoured him. This woman could not be his first. He was no girl but he at least wanted it to be a found memory.

Cas looked like he was going to cry. Cas felt like he might have a panic attack as he tried to think of a way out of this. It must have been on his face because Dean took pity on Cas.

"Don't let me push you Cas." Dean had said with such a serine look on his face. Like he just caught on to what this would mean to Cas.

"Dean?" Cas didn't want to hope too much.

"Come on man lets go home." Was all Dean said and Cas jumped into step behind him. Misha was not happy and Jen was upset she didn't get a shot at Dean, but he didn't seem to care.

….Dean would care…