Chapter 16:

Author's Notes: I'm back!!!! I had a great summer and had time to write loads but not update them:( sorry…the good news though is that I should be updating a lot faster now. I'm thinking of doing another Spashley story so when this one is done look out for my next one. Back to the story!

Meereen had become like Pentos, another house that did not feel like home. The war grew steadily further away from Ashley's main concerns. It never disappeared, just lingered on the edges of her mind. When her bloodriders returned she knew she had one less worry, maybe more as Brown Ben had managed to discourage the Butcher King in Astapor from continuing his pursuit of her. That was all still trivial in her mind and heart. What as forefront now, as it had been once before, was Spencer.

Every minute spent with the Westeroi was a blow to her resolve. The emotion she thought she had mastered now appeared as if rising again from the ashes. It wasn't the fluttering she felt or the drunken state her mind became around Spencer that troubled Ashley, although those caused problems of their own. Along with Nicholas, Ashley had been raised in seclusion, for fear of others discovering their true identities. The first and only interaction her adolescent mind had encountered with maturity had been with Khal Drogo and that had been bred from a forced commitment. She had grown to like the Khal but she had felt little of the love she had read about with him. Since she had become Khaleesi, all that had troubled her or confused her she had dealt with as a queen should. Now, she flitted around the cause of her confusion, taking one step forward then three back in cowardice and fear of the unknown. Her lack of courage angered her. Spencer, Ashley felt, had no idea of the confusion she was causing. If she did I might run away in shame, Ashley concluded. Ashley still held her part in their conversations well, hiding her uncertainty and sly glances. This is ridiculous, Ashley thought, how can I rule a nation and not know how to approach a girl? Ruling a nation seems easier. In the past, when she faced her loneliness, she would gain comfort from Irri or Jhiqui. They could not counter that loneliness now and Ashley had stopped them from entering her bed. It felt like betrayal.

Rhaegal landed in the courtyard before her, crying out for his midday meal. The sight of her dragons had caused panic at first and seemed to increase the number of people willing to be sold into slavery to escape her and Meereen. It had troubled Ashley then. She had left it alone and soon the people of Meereen accepted her and her army. She watched as Spencer entered the courtyard, carrying three baskets, one for each dragon. Ashley walked into the afternoon sun, wanting to share this moment.

"Good afternoon," Ashley said once she had reached her.

"Hello Ashley. Have you come to feed the dragons?" Spencer replied.

"No, I wanted to watch this time instead. They grow bigger every day. Soon I shall be able to ride them."

Spencer did not reply. Ashley watched as a struggle appeared on Spencer's face. This had become more and more obvious as they spent more time together. Ashley had asked if anything was troubling her but Spencer had dismissed it or changed the conversation.

"Ashley may I ask you something?"

"You know you can. We are friends again are we not?"

"Yes, we are." Ashley watched as Spencer seemed to hesitate and argue with herself over what to say. "Spencer?"

"What was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Your wedding night, after the feast…what was it like?"

Ashley could not speak. Is she asking me what I think she is asking? Ashley thought as her heart beat faster in her chest.

"I'm sorry. It is too forward a question. Forget I asked." Spencer quickly said.

"You haven't…" Ashley had found her voice again. "Ever?"

A flush began to overcome Spencer's face. "I was meant to marry Aiden. I detested him and we were never wed so…."

"Oh."

Drogon roared at his siblings, breaking the silence in the courtyard.

"Is it as they say in the stories?" Spencer asked.

"I cannot answer that. All I know is what I experienced with Khal Drogo. I did not love him, the love that is written and sung about was not something I felt for him. I learned to love him in a way many have learned to love, when you have n choice but to accept your fate. He was good to me, I cannot lie, but I never loved him like that."

"And…your wedding night?" Spencer asked quietly.

Ashley laughed. "I was a different person then, new to the world and inexperienced at living. I was nervous, afraid even. I knew this was different to the life I had seen through stories."

Ashley walked a little towards her dragons and continued as she stroked Viscerion. "He was gentle. He knew I had never experienced anything like that so he showed me what pleased him and how I could do that. As for myself…he taught me what pleases a woman and he would do so when he was not fighting or coming from battle. At those times, it was different." She looked straight at Spencer. "To answer your question, I enjoyed it yes, it is something one should experience in life but was it what I thought it would be? No."

Silence ruled the courtyard. Ashley continued her petting of Viscerion as if far away as Spencer fed the other dragons.

"I know you noticed that I could not bring myself to ask you before." Spencer began, the dragons now circling the palace, well-fed and content. "I…wasn't certain that my question would be received or answered. It…is something we never discussed in Winterfell."

"Your mother never said anything?"

"She did, a few times, but not enough and then it became too late."

"Do you miss her?"

"I miss the love and comfort she gave me. I knew I could go to her with almost any problem. When I found out about my betrothal to Aiden, she was sad. I remember the look on her face as my father told me of this but she could not go against it so she let it be."

Nothing more could be said. "Let us take a walk in the gardens." Ashley said.

Of all the places in Meereen that Ashley had seen, the palace gardens were her sanctuary. All knew not to disturb her unless it was dire when she entered the gardens. She spent many hours there, reading, thinking, crying when she faced her insecurities and dreaming when she felt her world had settled for the time being. The afternoon sun did nothing to disturb the beauty and scents of the gardens. In the middle of the gardens was a wooden bench with soft, silken pillows, placed for Ashley's comfort.

"Sit with me." Ashley commanded softly. Once Spencer was seated, Ashley turned to face her. "Tell me the truth now, why did you want to know? And why ask me when there are many here who could tell you more than me."

Spencer's thoughts whirled. Should now be the time? The wind seemed to pick up on Spencer indecision as it blew in any direction, taking Ashley's hair with it. Her silks followed, leaving a sensuous trail of royal purple and gold. Spencer blushed. "I've heard some the other servants and the bloodriders…together." She cleared her throat. "It…intrigued me."

"Ah," Ashley said. As the wind changed direction so did her courage. "So you wondered how it felt and couldn't ask those you had overheard."

Spencer nodded.

"You have never been touched either have you?"

Spencer again nodded, her face a deepening scarlet.

"Would you like to know how it feels?"

Spencer looked at Ashley, in shock and realization.

"One kiss. I may not be a fabled hero or a knight glistening in the sun, coming to win your hand in marriage but I can show you what it should feel like, if only for a moment." I doubt this is what many say is a test of a queen's courage but there, it is in her hands now, Ashley thought.

"I…you are my Khaleesi I cannot do this."

"At this moment I am not your queen. I am Ashley, your friend." Where has this courage come from?

A warm cheek against a hand, a slight catch as one became breathless. Then…lips met lips. A moment passed, the wind shifted through the leaves, the only sound in the gardens. Shy smiles and hands placed over each other.

I looked over this chapter so if there are any mistakes sorry about them, I must've missed them. I hope I still have readers…R&R please…