Chapter Sixteen: Many the Miles

While her eyes watered, Kali's skin burned.

Stumbling blind, she collapsed to the stone floor just beyond the room where she'd come from and took a moment to try and catch her breath, thankful to gulp air that did not sear her lungs. Though the temple was still quaking the booming sounds had stopped and she realized that she had made it through the strange fire unscathed.

More or less.

Besides being pink and raw-feeling, her skin seemed intact and after several minutes she found that she could see well enough to try and find her way out. Taking another deep breath she stood up and tried to get her bearings. Aside from the glow of the room about ten meters behind her the temple was completely dark. Her hands ran along the smooth sides of the narrow passage in which she'd found herself and for a moment she was gripped with the knowledge that she was still lost in the darkness, until her mind cleared and her hand went to her side.

The yellow glow of her lightsaber illuminated the area and emitted a comfortable hum; the heft of the hilt in her hand provided Kali with a focus, a calm that allowed her to swallow the fear and make her way down the corridor. I'm still here, I'm not dead yet...though I suppose I should be. After so much chaos and confusion it was strange to be doing such a mundane task as walking down a dark corridor. The only things breaking up the silence were the hum of her saber, the muted sound of her footfalls and the occasional clatter of bits of stone that her boots kicked as she moved.

Evidence of destruction were everywhere, indicated by fallen chunks of rock and collapsed pillars that she had to make her way around. For its size, the layout of the temple was not particularly complex and Kali found that she was able to determine the best way out by the faint scent of fresh air that wafted towards her every few minutes. Gradually, the passage sloped up, reminding her of the lab on Japarran where she and Stonewall had been trapped underground for a short while. I almost died there, too, she thought with a wry grin. How many chances at life does one woman get? No matter what else, I'm lucky in a lot of ways.

A while later she came to a seeming dead-end, though after a few moments of investigation she found that it was merely a chunk of the ceiling that had fallen in her path; there was a space between it and the side of the corridor that she managed to push herself through before she was able to continue on.

That memory of Japarran brought back another thought, another face to her mind and she said his name aloud in the darkness as if the act would make his solid form appear before her. I must get back to Rudral. It was less a realization and more of an urge, as if she had been holding her breath and her lungs were starting to burn with yearning. I must get back to him, to try and set things right. The knowledge filled her with further resolve and her hand gripped the saber like a lifeline.

Some time later she saw a light that was not from her saber: a slender beam that cut through the darkness, as bright as the fingernail of a crescent moon against the night sky, and she was inexorably drawn to it. As it stood barely a meter from the ground, she had to kneel in order to peer through the narrow opening to see the rocky landscape of Aruna laid before her. I don't recognize this area, she thought as she stood up and deactivated the saber, clipping it to her belt. Perhaps it's the rear entrance to the temple. Placing her palms along the smooth wall she pressed her weight against it, hoping to shift it without her having to resort to cutting her way out.

The wall didn't budge.

Kalinda took a deep breath and reached for her lightsaber but her hand stilled as she felt a stirring within her: some small and fragile thing was rising from the bottom of her mind and struggling to breach the surface. Another breath. Kali held up her hand and called on the Force, focusing her attention not on the wall but on the swathe of light as she willed it to expand. She exhaled and pushed away the remaining bits of fear that clung to her mind; an inhale brought in hope, resolve and strength. I'm still a Jedi. A satisfied smile came over her even as she felt sweat pooling at the small of her back with the strain. And I'm still me.

The light grew. The crack turned into a gape large enough to allow her hand through as pieces of stone and rock crumbled away.

Through the Force, Kalinda pressed on and on until she had created a space large enough for her body to squeeze through, though the effort exhausted her. As she pulled her leg through the gap in the wall, she looked behind her at the rock face that concealed the temple. It looks like just another bit of the mountain. How strange...I feel like I've been to another world and back. By her reckoning, the entire process had taken nearly two hours and she could see that night was starting to fall across the mountains.

For a moment she simply observed; the sky was awash in violet and fuchsia with the horizon glowing from the last rays of the sun, and above her head the stars were beginning to appear. After a few minutes she began to make her way down the mountainside, towards the winding road that she could make out in the dimming light.

By the time she reached the road that wound its way around to the front of the ancient structure, night had fallen in earnest and there was no moon to light her way, though the stars provided enough visibility. She stood before the entrance to the temple and surveyed the damage: piles of rock and stone had fallen across the opening. I suppose Sita and the others must have left once the temple collapsed. This thought, combined with the realization that her comlink was still broken, made her wince even as she looked up at the sky. Stonewall....I'll be back as soon as I can.

A breeze lifted the edges of her hair, carrying the scent of distant vegetation to her nostrils and she closed her eyes for a moment, reaching out for the Force. It was within her – though it was faint – and she likened the feeling to a dam erected across a river. It's there, she thought as she opened her eyes and began to walk towards the direction of Rudral. It has come back, if it never left. The words of the priestess came back to her: It's time for you to move on; you must not be afraid any longer.

Another gust of wind swept across her as she considered this notion. I don't feel frightened anymore, especially after that whole ordeal; now I can almost access the Force like I used to. Was it just me all along?

She looked at the road ahead of her and pictured Stonewall's face in her mind's eye. No matter what...soon I'll be home.

She didn't start to get truly tired until the earliest hours of the morning, when the landscape had begun to change from mountains and rock to sloping hills tinted with patches of green. There was evidence that many people had traveled this way, but Kali saw no one else. Finally, as the sun appeared over the horizon she realized that she needed to sit down, as her knee was aching and she felt slightly dizzy with hunger. The Force helped a little bit, but her access to it was still relegated to a trickle so she found the nearest tree and leaned against the solid trunk, rubbing at her knee and closing her eyes. I just need to rest for a moment.

"Good morning."

The unfamiliar voice startled her from sleep and Kali opened her eyes to see a middle-aged Arunai man peering at her as he stood beside a decrepit speeder that was resting on the side of the road. A woman of similar years watched her from the driver's seat and in the back of the speeder sat four children of varying heights. The Arunai man held out his hands in a gesture of peace. "Are you in need of any assistance?"

Kalinda regarded him; his smile was easy and his eyes were kind. The woman that she assumed was his wife also looked at her with the same gentle expression while the children's eyes were wide. "I don't suppose you're heading to Rudral for the festival, are you?"

The man and woman exchanged amused glances. "We're running a bit late," the woman replied. "Asha was ill, but she's almost better now." She nodded to the tallest of the children, who scowled behind her hand as she gave a throaty cough.

"So it's my fault?"

Her mother and father laughed, the sound mingling with the distant call of morning-birds. "Would you like a ride?" the man asked. "We don't have a lot of room, but you're welcome to join us." The sky had lightened to a pale champagne color, streaks of gold and saffron tinting the edges.

"I would love one," Kali replied. "But I'm afraid I have nothing to offer you in return."

"How are you with children?" the woman said, lifting her brow. "If you can keep them occupied, that will be payment enough."

Kalinda chuckled as she got to her feet; she felt stiff but rested. "I think I can manage that. I'm Kali, by the way." She approached the speeder; the man held out his hand to assist her aboard. "Thank you...?"

He smiled again. "I'm Bodhi; my wife is Girisa. And that lovely girl with the frown is Asha, our eldest." At this, the girl rolled her eyes; she looked to be about eleven or twelve. "The boy is Raj and the two younger girls are Bina and Ranee." At their names, the children gave her short bows, though they continued to stare at her with unblinking eyes. Kali greeted them and settled into the padded seat of the speeder; within a few moments Girisa started the engine and they were on their way once more.

The boy – Raj – immediately plopped down beside Kali, still gaping up at her. His mother glanced behind her and chuckled. "Raj, it's rude to stare at our guest. Kali, are you hungry?"

She was reluctant to take anything more from the family, as it did not look like they had an abundance of supplies but in that moment her stomach let out a rumble, causing the three younger children to giggle. "I suppose some food would not be unwelcome. But-"

Bodhi shook his head and began rummaging within the pack at his feet, pulling out a slice of bread, some dried fruit and a thick cut of cheese, which he passed back to her. "You are our guest," he said. "Please, eat."

"Thank you." It was simple food, but Kali found that she was so hungry at this point, it was the most wonderful thing she'd ever tasted and she all but inhaled the meal. Beside her, Raj gave a wide smile from beneath his lashes. "I'll bet you're a handful, aren't you?" she said to him, grinning as he shook his head. Kali looked at the two younger girls, who seemed to be about five or six. "Those are lovely dresses...are you excited for the festival?" They nodded; shortly thereafter the children launched into an animated discussion of the upcoming event, which they had never been to before but had heard stories of. "It sounds like fun," Kali replied. "I'm looking forward to it as well."

Pale blue sky, streaked with golden clouds filled the space above their heads and Kali felt her hair lifted by the wind from the speeder's passage. Her knee was still a bit sore, but it wasn't that noticeable anymore and she rubbed at it absently as she listened to the children speak.

"You're not Arunai," Asha said at a break in the chatter. "What are you?"

"Asha..." Her father's voice held a warning but Kali shook her head.

"It's okay." She smiled at the girl, who did not return the expression. "You're right. I'm not from here. I'm from the Core."

"Are you a goddess?" The boy's voice was filled with curiosity.

Kali glanced at Raj in surprise before she let out a laugh. "No, I'm afraid not. Just a Human. Nothing special."

Ahsa still did not look pleased. "But you came from the mountains," she said, gesturing at the landscape that was disappearing behind them. "No one but the gods live there." She lifted her hand and coughed again.

"Asha, mind your manners," Girisa said, though Kali knew that they were also curious about her. "It doesn't matter where Kali is from. She's here now."

Unsure how to explain what had happened, Kali cleared her throat. "I was looking for...answers," she said after a moment, glancing at Bodhi. "There was a temple there...a very old one. I'm not even sure of the goddess it was built for." She described the temple and watched as the couple exchanged glances.

"Chamunda?" Girisa's voice was perplexed. "She's one of the oldest gods. I didn't think there were any of her temples left." She cast a glance back at Kali but said nothing else.

One of the little girls – Ranee, she thought – tugged at her sleeve. "You're messy."

I can only imagine what I look like at this point, Kali thought as she glanced down at what was left of her clothes; her tunic was scorched almost beyond recognition, her boots were ripped and covered in dust, and her hands and arms were dark with grime. I don't even want to think about my face. Girisa glanced at her husband; something passed between them and Kali felt a pang of longing at their unspoken connection.

After a moment Bodhi turned back to her and nodded to one of the packs at Asha's feet. "My wife has a few spare dresses that you're welcome to. And we have some rags...you can clean yourself up when we stop."

"I don't want to put you out any more than I have," Kali said, shaking her head. "But thank you, anyway." She looked down at Raj and smiled at him again. "Would you like to hear a story?" Immediately the younger children broke into an emphatic approval, so she began to speak, noting how the adults' attention remained on her as well. At first she told them stories she remembered from her youth, fables and tales that were popular among the Jedi, but after a little while her thoughts turned back to Stonewall and she found herself growing quiet.

Asha gave a throaty cough and looked at her. "You stopped." The entire time that Kali had spoken, the eldest child had made a point to act as though she was not listening, though her eyes kept sliding in Kali's direction. "Why?"

"I was just thinking of someone," Kali replied after a moment. At the girl's look of confusion, Kali gave a small smile. "Someone I miss very much."

"Your beloved?"

"Asha, what have we told you about prying?" Her mother's voice was stern but the girl ignored it, instead leveling her gaze at Kali, who actually felt her cheeks grow warm.

The child's voice was annoyed. "Maha, she brought it up."

After a moment, Kali chuckled. "I did, didn't I?" She watched the road recede behind them; the speeder was not terribly fast but riding in it was much better than walking. In the distance she could still see the flame-colored mountains. She looked back at the girl and nodded. "Yes, Asha. You're right."

The girl nodded as well, seemingly satisfied with the answer and it was then that Kali felt something release inside of her; all at once the Force bubbled up from within the darkest places of her mind and she was filled with it, utterly and completely. Laughter escaped from her throat as she reached forward and hugged the girl, who looked nonplussed. "Thank you, Asha," she whispered. "Thank you."

"For what?"

All this time, I thought I understood the connection, I thought I understood that the Force and love are one and the same...but only now am I beginning to really see what it means for me. Kali laughed again and turned her face to the sun, the Force thrumming in her veins. "For everything."

They stopped at midday to eat and allow the children to stretch their legs; Kali accepted Girisa and Bodhi's offer of a change of clothes and was glad that she had done so, as it was good to shed her old tunic, though she had to keep the tattered boots unless she wanted to be barefoot. While Asha and the others played amidst the grove of trees the adults talked of inconsequential things for a time until they sat in an easy silence, watching the children chase one another. At one point, Asha paused to cough again, her body bent almost double with the action.

"How long has she been ill?" Kali asked, her eyebrows knitted.

Girisa and Bodhi exchanged glances. "Too long," the girl's father said after a moment. "It's actually the real reason we're going to Rudral...there is a physician there who we think can help her."He looked at his wife and put an arm about her shoulders. "She'll be fine, Giri."

Asha had resumed her exuberant activities, heedless of the conversation between the adults. Girisa gave a deep sigh. "I know. I just worry." She glanced at Kali. "It's a mother's lot in life."

Having no response to that, Kalinda merely nodded. "They're all lovely," she said after a moment as Asha picked up Ranee and tickled the younger girl. "You should be very proud."

Girisa smiled at her husband. "We are. Do you have any of your own?"

Kali shook her head.

"There's still time," Bodhi said. "You're young yet."

"Thank you, but...my life doesn't really have room for children." At their looks she paused and glanced at her feet, where she'd wrapped her saber and pistol among what was left of her robes. "I'm a Jedi," she said at last, looking back up at them. "We aren't supposed to have children."

Bodhi nodded. "That explains a lot. You have an..." he waved his hand. "Air about you. A presence. You know...I met a Jedi once, a long time ago." He smiled at the memory. "It was an honor that has stayed with me."

"But..." Girisa looked troubled for a moment, though she checked herself.

Kali finished the thought. "What's a Jedi doing wandering through the wilderness?" She smiled as the other woman nodded. "I meant what I said, about looking for answers," she replied, tilting her face to the sky.

"And did you find them?" Bodhi's voice was quiet.

I was afraid. So much so that I shut myself off from love and from the Force as well. They are the same for me, after all. She nodded. "I think so, though I'm starting to wonder if I was just asking the wrong questions in the first place." Beyond them, Raj gave a shriek as his sisters chased him through the grass, the four children eventually tumbling to the ground in a squirming, giggling heap and Kali laughed at the sight. "Everything's not right, yet," she added as she glanced back at the couple. "But it will be."

At this, Bodhi looked at Girisa and gave her a wink. "I told you that this trip would be eventful, didn't I?"

It wasn't until that evening that they reached Rudral and Kali found that she was sorry to part ways with the family, though she knew that it was necessary. It's nice to see those who have a 'normal' life. It reminds me that there's still good out there, despite all the suffering that the wars have caused. It reminds me what we're fighting for. She had not told them where in the city she was headed, so they dropped her off in the main marketplace; in the distance she could see the palace rising above the rest of the buildings.

After she hugged the younger children goodbye she bowed to Bodhi and Girisa. "I'm so grateful for your kindness. I think I have a way to pay you back." She ignored their looks of surprise and turned to Asha. "Can you give me your hands, please?" The girl gave her a dubious look but offered her palms; Kalinda took the child's hands in her own and closed her eyes.

She could feel the vestiges of sickness as a muddied current in the life-force of the young girl, so she reached within her own energy and smiled as she touched the Force. It was a simple matter to push the remaining illness from Asha's body and push it from her, letting it dissipate as if into thin air. This is what a Jedi's life used to be like: helping the ones who cannot help themselves, bringing peace to those who have none...not mired in battlefields and star cruisers. The realization was sudden and unexpected; she didn't know quite what to make of the thought so she opened her eyes and looked at Asha. "How do you feel?"

When the girl took a breath the sound was clear. "It feels better! Maha...what happened?"

Behind her she heard Girisa whisper something in Arunai and when Kali opened her eyes again the entire family was gaping at her; Bodhi embraced her then, his eyes bright. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear. "Just...thank you." Girisa hugged her as well, though she said nothing more.

As they parted ways, Raj turned to regard her one last time. "Are you sure you're not a goddess?"

"Absolutely positive," Kali replied. "But I appreciate the thought." Already the Force was urging her on, tugging at the edges of her mind like an insistent watched the family's speeder disappear in the crowd for a few minutes before turning for the direction of the palace.

It would have taken her longer to reach it through the seething mass of people but Kali had the Force – as much as she did before she came to Aruna – and she was able to slip through the city streets with little difficulty until she reached the steps that lead up to the palace door. Here she paused and cast her mind out for Stone, though she was still unable to feel him. However, rather than let the thought trouble her, she began to race up the steps, taking two, three at a time until she was flat-out running across the upper courtyard to the tremendous doors. When she reached them, Kali didn't pause, instead she flung out her hands and watched them swing open before her as she stumbled into the throne room.

One of my favorite chapters! I know that everything doesn't make sense yet...but the story ain't over!

"How far do I have to go to get to you?"

-Sarah Bariellis