Aha! Long-ish chapter coming your way!

Chapter 29

Bella POV

I woke up well rested and at ease. It was the best night I have had in a while; no medicine induced sleep, but real, deep slumber. I slowly opened my eyes and realised with a blush that I was holding Edward's hand to my chest. I quickly dropped it with the pretence of 'stretching'. A warm, velvety voice chuckled.
"I though that Eddie-boy here would never get his arm back!" Emmett exclaimed and I just blushed further. The velvety voice growled.
"Don't all me Eddie-boy!"
"Besides, I think it was cute." Alice chimed in and I just groaned.
"Don't worry about it." Edward whispered near my ear; I shivered.
"Your blush is beautiful." He commented which made me flush tomato red and everybody laughed. Was Edward trying to drive me insane? Was he trying o break my resolve to keep my feelings quiet? Besides, how can he even bear to say something like that? Can't he see all my scars? Hasn't he heard enough of my story to understand that I am utterly ugly inside out and I will always be? I could never deserve him- I could never deserve anyone…
"Bella, stop." Jasper said firmly. Everybody looked at him in confusion except Edward who was saddened with a hint of anger. I didn't want to argue because they would just try to comfort me and I wouldn't believe a thing, so I just nodded.
"Anyway, I've got news for you…" Rose said sensing my discomfort and changing the subject as she always does for me. "Carlisle said you could come home today." She said cheerfully then frowned, "But you would have to come in an ambulance."

I was ecstatic at the news, but it seemed to take some time for my brain to absorb everything.
"Yes! Wait… What? No! Why?" I was pleading at the end.
"Wow- articulate Bella." Jasper smirked sarcastically.

"B-but, an ambulance!" I whined like a six year old.
"It's really for appearance sake, anyway, you are in no state to sit in a car." Edward soothed. I didn't want to give in.
"I'll ride with you." He offered and I knew I had lost the battle.
"Fine." I huffed with no more dignity left.
"That's my girl." Emmett joked patronizingly. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Where's Carlisle and Esme?" I asked shifting the focus of interest away from me.
"Well, Carlisle is filling out all the necessary paperwork and-"
Jasper began.
"And Esme is getting your room ready!" Alice squealed. "Oh Bella, you are going to loooooooove it. It's right next to Edward's." She winked and I blushed. C-could Alice possibly know? Well, she was physic.
"He'll be your slave during your recovery." She smiled slyly. Oh ye, she knew. My cheeks were still tinged red when I looked up to Edward who looked hopeful.
"When can I go?"
"Whenever you're ready." Carlisle said as he entered the room.
"Now." I said instantly and he grinned.
"Okay, I just need to get the paramedics." I frowned.
"Bella, this was, I won't have to re-do your IV, and you will be more comfortable." He got me there. I paled; Carlisle knew how I hated needles.
"Cheater." I groaned.
"What must be done will be done." He smiled victoriously. Ha! Who is being immature now?

I was surprised how well I could interact with the Cullens. I was unsure whether I would even be able to be the real me anymore… But I was as normal as can be with the Cullens as long as they avoided unexpected contact and didn't find the triggers to my panic attacks. I still had them occasionally, but the Cullens were quick to learn and avoid these triggers.

I had been in the hospital for two weeks now, which is only a fraction of the amount of time I would have had to spend here. I would be lying if I said I felt much better. My broken arm didn't bother me much, and I had gotten used to bruises a long time ago, but my ribs and thigh still screamed agony when I wasn't under a heavy mass of pain killers. The cuts at the back of my neck were also very painful and could be felt every time I moved my head which was emotionally tough as it was probably the injury I most wanted to forget about. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; focusing all my thoughts on the Cullens.
"Are you okay?" Alice asked gently.
"Yes. When are we leaving?" I asked curtly, fighting back memories.
"The paramedics should be here any minute." Carlisle answered. My eyes flew open but I tried to keep my breathing regular.
"The paramedics, they- they're m-men?" I asked panicked. Edward reclaimed my hand.
"I'm sorry. You'll be fine Bella, remember, we are all here. Deep breaths." Carlisle said and- as always when I have trouble breathing- Edward put my hand on his chest to get me concentrating on the movement of the air entering and leaving his lungs.
"You're safe." He soothed.

When the paramedics arrived, Edward squeezed my hands and stayed by my side while I was prepped for the ambulance.
"Okay Bella, Edward is riding with you and we will meet you there." Jasper clarified with a reassuring smile.
"Race you there Bellsy!" Emmett joked.
"Bye!" They chorused leaving me with Edward.
"Are you alright?" He asked gently. I nodded jerkily; my nerves were stretched tight. I don't know how long I will be able to keep the flashbacks at bay with two strangers so close to me.
"Hello Isabella," A paramedic started and I cringed.
"Bella, she prefers Bella." Edward said politely.
"Yes, of course. Hey Bella, I'm Pete and this is William. If you feel any pain, just let us know okay?" I nodded once again and scooted towards Edward slightly.
"You know, they are planning a movie night for you." Edward said matter-of-factly. I appreciated his attempt to distract me.
"Mhmm?" I was still tense, but I made an effort. Edward chuckled.
"Yes mhmm. We even have a schedule for who gets to lie with you and when." He smiled. I smiled shakily at that.
"What kind of movies to you like? Alice being Alice, got about ten from every genre." I giggled.
"She's thorough."
"Yes." He agreed. I relaxed slightly eventually as we continued to talk about inconsequential details such as my favourite colour and food… The paramedics remained silent, giving us space.

Luckily, we arrived quickly and without incident. As soon as the doors opened, letting natural light flood around me, I felt relieved.
"I am so proud of you." Edward whispered.
"Thank you" I murmured, somewhat proud of myself too.
The paramedics brought me upstairs and settled me into a room which was already equipped with a heart monitor. However, the walls were painted my favourite shade of blue which fit perfectly with the brown bed spread. I smiled.
"Wow Esme, this is gorgeous!"
"I am glad you think so. Don't worry, we will get rid of all the hospital things soon enough." She winked. I was settled on the new bed and the paramedics left with a cheerful 'get well'. I smiled nervously and thanked them.

Sure enough, the rest of the evening was spent watching my favourite movies since I had a T.V. in my room! I also indulged in junk food, not even bothering about dinner. I was pretty tired which was weird considering that I haven't exactly moved in two weeks… I had now established that the Cullens could leave my bedside and they were not bound to me. I knew they must have had a life before me and I insisted that they go live it. I had finally convinced them to leave my room at night; I had simply told them that I found it creepy when they watched me sleep. I think they knew my real reasoning, but they accepted reluctantly.

"One more Bella?" Alice pleaded while holing up two DVD cases. She was on the bed next to me since it was a double bed and it was her 'turn to claim my side'. I rolled my eyes when they confirmed what Edward told me, but they were dead serious.
"Maybe tomorrow? I'm sorry, but I'm really tired.!" I said and she pouted.
"Of course." Edward stated and Emmett hauled tiny Alice off my bed.
"Hey! Mind the dress Big Foot!" Alice squealed making me giggle.
"My feet aren't that big…" Emmett trailed off as he walked out with Alice hanging over his shoulder. Rosalie and Jasper rolled their eyes.
"Well, I better go rescue my wife from 'Big Foot'. Goodnight Bella." Jasper came and gave me a slow, gentle hug, followed by Rose.
"Ye, and I must tame my lump of a husband." She joked.
"Goodnight." I said.
"GOODNIGHT BELLA!" Alice and Emmett yelled from somewhere in the house.
"She's not that deaf- idiot." I heard Rosalie say.
"She probably is now…" Jasper grumbled.
"Guys, I can still hear you." I informed them.
"Oh sh-" Emmett's curse was cut off by a sharp smack.
"Shut up! She is trying to sleep!" Alice shouted and I just laughed at their antics.
"Goodnight guys." I chuckled. Esme and Carlisle were next to say goodnight, followed by Edward.
"Sleep tight." He murmured as he leaned down to give me a hug.
"You too." I answered and blushed at my stupidity. He shook his head with a small smile.
"I doubt I will." He said wryly before leaving. He had his back to me and his hand on the light switch when he paused, but before I could ask him anything, he shook his head once more and turned off the light as he left.

Once my room was empty, I found myself wide awake. In the dark, you couldn't see the lovely blue walls or the brown covers; all was black. I shuddered and tried to snuggle unto my covers. I started to count my breaths; it was ridiculous for me to be scared. I closed my eyes firmly- willing myself to sleep. Carlisle had taken me off sleeping pills a few nights ago and I had been doing well. I opened my eyes slowly and immediately shut them. I was back in my room. The room where you could find blood under the carpet; my blood. I didn't wait for the rest of the flashback.
"Edward!" I called. I suddenly felt his cold hand in mine.
"Bella?"
"Edward I'm back. I'm back in my room!" I said frantically while I kept my eyes clamped shut.
"No. You're not. You're here with me, in our house. Open your eyes Bella, look at me." I shook my head; I was trapped by my own mind.
"Come on Bella. You have already won the battle, just prove it." Something in my mind clicked; I had won, I had denounced him. I am strong. I opened my eyes bit by bit to be greeted by the face of my angel.

Edward looked determined and sad.
"I'm s-sorry." I started crying. God- I was pathetic! How can I expect them to put up with me?
"Stop apologizing Bella. You are already doing great. I promise you that I will stay by your side and fight with you. You will overcome this." His eyes smouldered with an unknown emotion before softening. He brushed my tears away.
"Are you okay?" I nodded.
"What was it this time?" He prodded gently. We had discussed that I needed to talk about my nightmares. The only reason I did was because I could see that all this was hard on him too.
"Room- blood- beatings." I summarised shaking my head of the thoughts.
"I'm sorry." He said heart-broken.
"Hey?! What about our agreement? If I can't say 'sorry', then neither can you." I reminded him and he half-smiled.
"I guess… Are you sure that you're okay now?"
"Yes." I sighed and I saw him look at me doubtfully.
"Okay, goodnight." He said eventually while kissing my cheek- I wasn't scared when he did it, it was routine now with him. As he stood, I grabbed his hand.
"Please don't go." I whimpered. He looked me up and down.
"Are you certain?" He asked and I nodded once more. He slowly lay down on the bed next to me. I took the initiative as I shuffled awkwardly towards him while trying to not cause my body any more pain. I rested my head on his chest. As long as I initiated physical contact, I was okay. Edward knew that so he didn't push me further as he just laid there.
"Thank you." I mumbled; already falling asleep.
"No, thank you." He might have whispered, but I wasn't sure.

I was already asleep.