Well finally I am updating. Again, I am incredibly sorry for the wait. I honestly use to think that writer's block was a myth- little did I know… So now, I won't make you wait any longer, here is the next chapter.

Chapter 35

Edward POV

Bella only lasted about ten minutes of the torture Alice calls entertainment. "You're going to have to go hunting soon." Alice pointed out. "She is going to need
you Monday, so you better go tomorrow." I frowned slightly.
"If you leave now, you should be back by lunch." She offered.
"Just let me carry her to bed." I rose fluidly, careful not to jostle Bella. Once I settled her on her bed, it only took one look at her for me to decide that a simple note wouldn't be enough. I gently shook her awake.
"Bella,"
"Edward" she mumbled.
"I'm going hunting. I'll be back by lunch."
"M'kay" She murmured as she patted my head and went back to sleep. I smiled and decided that maybe a note would still be necessary as she didn't really seem to have a clear mind. I gave her a quick peck on the lips and headed downstairs.
"Alice, please let her sleep in tomorrow and no shopping. She is stressed enough about school- don't make it worse." She didn't even look my way as I spoke. I sighed in frustration. "Alice?"
"Yeah, yeah, she heard you. Let Bella die her hair blue, dress her up in a corset and send her to the club to get wasted." Emmett said in mock sincerity. I mumbled something unintelligible before leaving the room.

I let my worries slip my mind as I ran into the forest. I caught the scent of some deer and I let the unattractive smell drag me forwards. As soon as I saw my prey, all thoughts flew out of my mind as my eyes zeroed on the doomed, innocent animal. I pounced. For Emmett, hunting was a sport. For Alice, a dance. For me, simply a necessity. I jumped swiftly on the deer nearest to me, I snapped it's neck in a fluid movement before relishing in the sweet taste of blood as it touched my lips. As soon as I drained it, my head flung up to focus on my second prey. The other two dear had scattered and a wicked smile graced my lips. I let myself be fully immersed in the chase as I jumped to my feet and caught up with the deer in three powerful strides. I did not inspire more fear as my teeth sunk into the soft flesh. I licked my lips, now excited to stalk my next victim. I could hear it's frantic heartbeat coming from my right and I immediately started the pursuit. I could smell adrenaline coursing through its veins as it sensed danger. Without a second thought, I sprang through the trees, startling the frightened deer and ended his life before he could feel my venom poisoning his entire being. I discarded the carcass unceremoniously and I felt once again disgusted with myself. I stared at my hard, cold hands and then glanced at the now drained heap of skin lying close by. I could kill so easily, choosing one's fate before they even had time to let out a shaky breath. The heartbeat of by now dead prey resounded in my head- so quick, irregular; panicked. Bella's heartbeat sounded the same when we first met her. The adrenaline, the hormone pushing the deer to its limits to save itself; Bella should have the same sense of self-preservation. Yet, she willingly chooses to stay with us, with me. I snarled loudly at the trees surrounding me. I always had to be so controlled around Bella, always in fear of falling over the edge. I released my strength without abandon, letting out all my frustration on nature. I kept going, destroying tree after tree- seeing the pain I could cause, the damage. I kept going without tiring until I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I spun around wildly, my teeth bared. I was met by Alice staring at me sadly. I automatically stepped back.

"Sorry." I muttered, my voice hoarse.
"It's okay, you needed it. I just had to stop you now, your next move was to throw the tree into some human's garden." She laughed without a trace of humor. Its okay Edward, calm down. Jasper stood a few steps away, leaning again one of the few trees remaining. I could feel the calm radiating off him as I composed myself. Alice and Jasper watched me warily, their thoughts filled with concern.
"I'm ready." I whispered eventually. The nodded and followed me wordlessly.

I ran home, still tense. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I shouldn't have needed to drag Alice and Jasper from the house simply so I could have a tantrum. Edward, don't be so ridiculous. Jasper though exasperated and my lips twitched at his thoughts of support. I reached the house and as soon as I opened the door, I felt a light force run into me. I wrapped my arms gently around Bella's body as she smiled up to me. And just like that, all the disgust and frustration melt away. No, I could never hurt her.
"Hey you." I chuckled.
"I need to ask you a favor." She said sweetly but with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
"Can you come to Charlie's house with me?" She asked solemnly, her smile dropping instantly. My eyes widened in shock.
"Excuse me?"
It took her long enough to build up the courage to ask you, don't turn her down Edward.- Rosalie
"Well, you know. I need to go through my stuff and, and-" Bella stammered. I shushed her gently.
"Yes, of course. I was just surprised." She gave me a tentative smile and I kissed her cheek.
"When do you want to go?" She frowned slightly.
"Just let me eat and then we'll go." I nodded and led her back to the living room where her meal was waiting. Bella barely touched her food- she was nervous, but the little furrow between her eyebrows showed her determination.
"Let's go." She said with finality as she put her plate in the sink. I followed her wordlessly but took her hand.

The car ride was silent. Bella didn't offer any conversation and I didn't push her. My fists tightened on the steering wheel as we approached the house. Last time I was here wasn't a moment I cared to remember. I loosened my grip when I saw Bella tensing up- I would remain calm for her.
"Are you ready?" She let out a long breath and nodded. We climbed the steps and she reached for the key before unlocking the door. Bella didn't move so I walked forward and she ran to catch up and clung to me.
"We leave whenever you want." I reminded her.
"Can we go to my room?" She whispered. I took her hand once more and led the way, she shuddered as we passed by the kitchen which was thankfully now clean- I could smell the bleach. I focused on the simple task of bringing Bella upstairs instead of thinking about the stale scent of Bella's blood lingering in the living room, the stairs, the hallway…
"The one on the left" She murmured but I was already heading to the right room. Bella's room was very blank. There was nothing to show her personality. The walls were peeling and the bed was bare. Bella disentangled herself from me and went straight to her bed. She pulled a large bag from underneath and walked towards her small desk.
"Do you need any help?"
"Could you please put all the books in there?" She asked pointing at the desk. I nodded and started packing her bag. While I was doing that, I saw Bella lift her mattress and tenderly pull out a tiny, battered box. She took out a necklace and a small picture. She walked up to me holing the necklace.
"Could you?" She asked as she turned around. I swept her hair to the side and attached the necklace.
"My mother gave it to me. My real one; Renee." I recognized the locket. She had been wearing it as a baby; that's how we knew her name.
"You wore it as a baby." Her eyes lit up.
"Who found me?"
"Esme." Her face fell.
"Oh."
"What's wrong?"
"Do you know what my mom looked like?" She asked looking at her feet. I had actually seen Renee through Esme's mind.
"She looked a lot like you." I remembered. "She had a young face and short wavy hair." Bella seemed satisfied with my mediocre explanation. She then turned to move towards her closet but was interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Alice." I sighed.
"Yes, sorry, just tell Bella that she doesn't need to bring any of her old clothes because I won't let her wear them." She then promptly hung up before I could protest.
"Alice says to not even worry about your clothes." Bella grimaced but nodded.
"Then that's all I need." She swiftly exited her room and I followed with her bad of books. I almost ran into Bella as she stopped abruptly staring straight ahead. I followed her gaze and was met by a bland, ordinary brown door. As Bella shuddered I knew exactly whom that room belonged to. I placed the bad on the ground to embrace Bella's still form.
"Are you okay?" I asked gently and she seemed to snap out of her trance. She started striding forward, determination defining her features. To human eyes, Bella's second of hesitation wouldn't have been apparent, but it was clear to me and it only increased my pride in her as she showed her strength. Her hand was steady as she reached for the handle and slowly opened the door. Bella didn't move forwards. There was no point in asking if she was okay or reminding her that she could always stop, because I knew that she needed this.

I walked forwards, pulling her into the room and I switched on the light. The room was incredibly neat. Everything seemed to have its place and gave off an eerie feeling. The pillows were unnaturally straight and perfectly aligned. Bella took a deep breath and sat gingerly on the bed while looking around slowly.
"Its not what I expected." She muttered finally when I was just about to loose my nerve at her silence. I sat on the bed next to her.
"How so?"
"It doesn't show anything about him." Her heart beat started to increase. "Not one thing. How could it not? This was supposed to help me understand. Why isn't there anything to help me understand why- to show how he, how he-" She started sobbing and at a loss at what to do, I took her hand in mine. "His room is like mine- impersonal. Like me, he's like me! I can't- this was supposed to help me, to know who he was, b-but he's like me." At this, I had to put a stop.
"Bella, Bella- calm down. Count your breaths. Come on now." My first task was to calm her down, I brought her hand to my chest and took deliberate breaths to help her. Once I could feel her regaining control I started placing light kisses on her head and cheek.
"Bella, you silly, silly girl. How many times do I have to tell you? You are nothing like your father. He was sick Bella- it had nothing to do with you. He was ill- he couldn't help it and nor can you." Once she came down from her hysteria, she melted back into my arms and sighed as she hid her face in my shirt.
"I want to go home now." I sighed in relief and was eager to bring her back somewhere where she can be loved and relaxed. "My leg hurts- carry me?" Her voice sounded so vulnerable and I understood her need to just be cradled. To be protected, to let your emotions out without having to worry about what others think or what they say- sometimes you just want to be vulnerable. To let things out. And when you do, you need love to surround you- to keep you going.

I picked her up, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. I wanted to know what she was thinking- but it was best to leave her in peace. As we approached the house, Emmett came bounding out, but his smile was wiped off his face when he saw Bella. He didn't ask any questions but opened the door and undid the seatbelt before carrying her inside. I followed silently- no words really needed to be said. When Bella arrived here, she was smothered with love and joy- we never really gave her time to mourn or adapt or listen to her, we were too busy trying to cheer her up. Emmett carried her inside and brought her to her room and put her in her bed before coming downstairs.

We all met in the living room while Bella slept it off upstairs.
"She's going to be fine." Jasper stated calmly and we all agreed- there was no question about it. She would be fine, never completely healed, but that's the only way she will ever be happy.

Ever so slightly broken. It was part of who she was.

There we go. Sorry, it didn't end on the happiest note, but I thought it was important to make everybody understand that Bella will never be perfectly alright, but she will have her hand at happiness like everybody else =) Hope you liked the chapter and thanks for sticking with me!