A/N Okay all I've been hearing in my head as I've been working on this is Slipknot's "Snuff", The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", Green Day's "21 Guns", Coldplay's "The Scientist, and a whole lot of Jimmy Buffet and some Damion Rice. I dunno why but I hear one of these songs on my Ipod, or on the radio driving into work, and I find myself writing new scene's in my head. So thank you radio/Ipod for making it impossible to stop thinking about my fanfiction.
Perna looked down at the ring on her hand with a sigh; she admired it greatly, as well as the man who'd given it to her. Peter was the prefect man to marry, strong and brave. He was more than Perna could have asked for. The ring was grand beyond words, a sparkling square ruby in the center flanked by smaller, but no less brilliant diamonds. She'd been engaged for three weeks now and the wedding was in sixty days, in high spring right before the summer solstice. How fitting, to be married in the season of rebirth. The perfect husband, ring, and wedding, it should be every woman's dream... right?
Life at Cair Paravel was exciting, and elegant. Perna enjoyed the lavish dinners, and filled out nicely as a result. She no longer looking like a child trying on her mother's dresses because of the rich foods and desserts. Then there were all the wonderful stories of past kings and queens of Narnia. One she heard at all special gathering, when guest come to visit was the story of how Edmund, Lucy, Peter, and Susan came to Narnia. Of their grand Battle of Beruna and how they triumphed over the White Witch. Even though she'd now heard the story more times than she could count she never grew tired of it. It reminded her of the wonderful tales her father used to tell her, full of wonderful magic and heroism. Now that she was settled in Perna's days were beginning to get quite busy. Peter insisted that Perna learn to be a proper Narnian monarch. So Queen Susan kindly took her under her wing to teach lessons on proper etiquette, as well as archery, and dance. Susan then told her she would be receiving more lessons from Peter on politics, Gerneral Oreius for sword fighting, Edmund on judicial polices, and Lucy on Narnian history. Even a woman must know how to defend herself if battle draws near.
The latter lessons would have to wait a couple weeks until Edmund and Lucy returned from their journey. They both left a couple days ago to over see the move of Perna's people. They left with several advisors, a Faun named Tumnes, Aquila the Eagle, a Raven who's name Perna didn't know, a couple Centaurs, and Phillip. Edmund and Lucy were on ordinary horses. Edmund refused to ride Phillip on such a mundane expedition, so Phillip went along as counsel.
The night before Edmund left, Perna confronted him in the stable while he was giving a sugar cube to the horse he was going to ride. The words spoken weeks before on that fateful night still hunted her. She knew she'd wounded Edmund more deeply than any sword in battle. And although he refused to show any pain, she could see it in his sideways stares at dinner, and in court. It was in the way he never spoke to her, unless it was absolutely necessary. Peter just thought it was a conflict of personality, because Edmund was perfectly cordial to her, just very short and cold.
"Edmund, can we talk?" Perna asked as she approached him, well, more like cornered him. His back was against the wall, and he glanced around looking for a quick escape. He saw one almost immediately and inched towards the stable door, before stopping. He took a long look at Perna and finally nodded.
"If something needs to be said, than say it," he replied in an icy tone.
"I just want to know, if we had managed not to fight that night…" Edmund flinch, the very mention of that night was like ripping open fresh stitches. "Well, I just wanted to know, if things between us could have been… different."
"What's done is done. To quote the word of Aslan, 'we may never know what might have been.'" He tone was calm and even, even though his heart was racing. "We both acted rashly. Now, we both must deal with the consequences."
"Can we never tell the truth anymore? Must we always keep what happened between us a secret?" Her voice bordered on pleading.
"The truth is Lady Perna…" It was her turn to flinch. He was being so proper and formal with her it was almost maddening. "That you are engaged to be married to my brother, and I will not jeopardize that in anyway. I told you the truth that night, I never lied about my feeling for you, and you're the one who lied about that. Now you must live with that, as I will live with my lies as well." She saw him clench his free hand in to a fist.
"You're brother's an understanding person, what if we just told him what happened? We met long before Peter even knew me." Edmund thought about this for a moment. It was true, Peter may very well understand the situation, but then he saw the engagement ring on Perna's hand shining defiantly. Ruby, Peter's stone, was the main stone in the ring, the stone of fire. If it had been an engagement ring from Edmund, the main stone would have been diamond, the stone of air, just like Lucy's would be a sapphire, the stone of water, and Susan's would be an emerald, the stone of earth.
"As I said before, my brother chose to marry you, you accepted, and I gave him my blessing. As I said before, what's done is done; we must move on and accept what we can no longer change." Perna gave him a determined look.
"My father always told me nothing is ever done until you're on the funeral pyre, and even then our creator must still deliberate." Edmund just held his head in resolution.
"Our paths may have cross romantically once, but that will be the last time. I fear we have misplaced out passion into each other. I know you'll be good wife for Peter, and he will protect you and take care of you as long as there's breath in his body. I will see you again and a couple week's time, when I return with your parents. I promise to take good care of your people in their journey to their new home." She turned heel and run out of the stable, a cloud of yellowish silk flowing in her wake. Edmund shook his head and turned toward the brown and white horse.
"We've really made a mess haven't we," he said petting the horse's muzzle. The horse just let out a snort and nipped at his hand looking for more sugar. He wished Phillip had been around; the talking Horse had become his one confidant on this matter of the heart. In his heart he wanted nothing more than to kiss Perna, pet her hair and tell her everything would be alright. But he knew it wouldn't be. The fact was fate seemed to have other plans, and unknowingly, Peter had set the new path in to motion. The rational side of Edmund told him that if he just went to his brother and told the whole truth… but for some reason it felt like betrayal all over again. Maybe if he had talked to Peter before the formal engagement announcement. Before the wedding invitation set out to all ends of the known world, from the Lone Islands and even down into Calormen. But then again, she had said she no longer loved him, and in that instance he believed her. He couldn't let his brother down. She was now his fiancée for goodness sake. If loving her wasn't treason, he didn't know what was. It was going to be a hard battle to fight, learning to love Perna platonically, as opposed to the passionate, romantic love he felt, but he was determined to do it.