Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval
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This chapter goes up to T
Connor sat in the chair with Abby on top of him sobbing her eyes out and apologizing. He had never ever seen her this upset before. He had never ever even seen her cry before and now she was curled against his chest going to pieces. He felt like the lowest scum on earth.
"Shhh, shhh, it's alright, we'll make it alright." He whispered nonsense to her and held her tight while she worked it out. "It'll be alright."
She wiped at her eyes. "How can it be alright? I'm pregnant, I cheated on you-"
He cut her off. "I drove you away. You were right, when you said I left you as soon as something else came along." That admission was a kick in the guts right there. He resolved to work on his ability to tell Burton no. Abby was so much more important to him.
She started crying again. He was desperate to make her stop. "Abby please, believe me. I love you and I'll fix what's wrong. I'll do whatever I have to to keep you with me, I love you." He realized that he had said he loved her more in that sentence than he had said it in the past two weeks. That made him feel like crying himself.
She settled a little, and the crying subsided into the occasional sniff. "How could you possibly forgive me?"
Connor turned her head around to face him and echoed her, "Abby how could you possibly forgive me? Lester's right, I neglected you, I ignored you and I just expected you to put up with it. I'm an total ass. I don't deserve you."
She kissed him, "Don't say that. We'll just...work through this. We'll make this work if you want. I just need you, just you." Together they sat and reassured each other of their love.
James was trying to keep himself calm by the routine actions of making tea. What if Connor stayed a self absorbed ass and Abby decided to leave him? What the hell was he going to do? He liked to be alone most of the time. A baby...what if it was his baby? His thoughts just kept chasing around and around in his head while he waited for for Connor and Abby to come out, hopefully together.
It was only a few minutes later when they emerged from his study, holding hands. He took that as a good sign. "Tea?" He offered them.
"Thanks." Abby took the mug he had already made up for her and Connor tried to ignore that he knew how she took her tea. That would lead him to thinking about what else he would know. He almost felt like an intruder here.
"Where do we go from here?" Connor asked them softly.
"We find a way to all get along." Abby said while pulling out a napkin from a drawer and blotting her eyes with it. "I'm sorry that this is so complicated but it is."
"Are you going to keep running into his arms?" Connor asked her, afraid of the answer. "I can answer that," James said from across the counter. "Not if you manage not to ignore and hurt her. She actually does love you for some unholy reason."
"She is right here, there's nothing wrong with my ears." Abby said tartly.
"Beg pardon." He apologized to her. "I was only trying to help."
"How are we going to all act normally at work?" Connor asked, feeling as if he was on another planet.
Abby shrugged, "We've managed it for years. Just...separate it."
"What if the baby's yours?" James asked Connor, "then all of this is just extra drama. I won't be involved at all."
Connor tried to focus on that and couldn't, "What if it isn't? What if it's yours? What if I'm raising your baby?"
James corrected him, "You won't be, I would be raising my baby."
"You don't want to marry Abby!" Connor accused him.
James shot back, "Neither do you. I expect if you did you would have asked her by now!"
"I'm right here!" She snapped her fingers in front of both of them before they could start actually marking their territory. "I don't want to marry either of you. Getting married is so far down on my list of things I'm worried about that it's not even in the top hundred!"
Connor was floored, "you don't?" He had always sort of imagined that they would get married eventually, and get that little house in the suburbs with a white picket fence.
"No. I don't." Abby replied sharply. "I don't want to marry. I'm too screwed up, I can't even be happy with just one man." She seemed to realize that wasn't the most diplomatic thing to say. "Look, can we agree to leave our private business at home and act normally at work?"
"Of course." James said smoothly, "I'm not going to cause you difficulty." He managed to imply that Connor would despite not looking at him when he said that.
"I can fake it." Connor growled. "I don't want people gossiping about us."
"Okay. Thank you, it's late, we'd better go." Abby set her empty tea cup down on the counter. "See you at work tomorrow."
"Goodnight Abby, Connor." James let them out and locked the door behind them. That had gone a lot better than he thought it would.
The next day there wasn't an anomaly so there was plenty of reasons that they were all able to ignore each other. Despite what Connor said he was still wrestling with the feeling of betrayal and Abby was consumed with guilt that she had hurt him. James was just happy that Connor was giving him the silent treatment instead of blowing up at him in front of everyone.
That night James came over to their flat for some tea and more chatting, that occasionally got heated.
They reached a truce. James flat out refused to get out of Abby's life entirely like Connor wanted until he knew if it was his baby. Since Abby completely shot down the possibility of doing a paternity test before the baby was born, they were going to have to tolerate each other until then.
Her first doctors appointment was the next week. Connor insisted he was going to go with her. "I'd like to be involved to," James objected, "Since it could be my child."
Abby had to referee. "I can't go in there with two men, they'll think I'm a slut. Which I might well be but we're not going to emphasize that." Both of them denied that she was a slut. Abby was secretly thrilled that they didn't see her that way, but there was another objection to them both going with her.
"The three of us can't always miss work together when I have a doctors appointment. That would be highly suspicious! We'll alternate who goes with me." That set off another argument that James finally conceded on the condition that they would both be in the delivery room.
Connor was getting better about not ignoring Abby, he was trying to figure out how to meet her emotional needs as well as her physical ones. He actually sat down with her and worked out where he had screwed up so monumentally. Jetting off to the far corners of the world whenever Burton snapped his fingers without even discussing any of it with her was a big part of it. Not to mention sometimes Burton told him not to call Abby for 'security' and Connor actually listened. He could kick himself for that.
It was sweet and when he realized that she used James more like a teddy bear than a sweaty sex monkey he started to realize what James told him was true, girls need attention. He had paid attention to her when she needed it, and he started doing it years before Connor did. He set about making up for lost time.
Meanwhile James was realizing how much he had come to depend on her once or twice a week visits. He missed her company, not just the sex. He didn't know it but while she was thrilled to have Connor's attention again, she was missing him as well. Something had to be done, but she didn't know what yet.
At the doctors appointment the doctor drew blood to check for all sorts of things, then she had Abby lay down and pull her shirt up to reveal her still taunt belly.
"Let's just take a peek in there." Connor watched, fascinated as the doctor squirted some goop on Abby's stomach and pressed the ultrasound wand on it. He couldn't make out anything on the screen, it was all one big black and white squiggle but the doctor seemed to see something interesting.
He gripped Abby's hand tightly and waited to find out what the doctor was frowning over. "Is the baby okay?" Abby fretted, picking up on the doctors tension.
"Yes, look here," The doctor zoomed in on something vaguely oblong. "This is baby A... and over here is baby B."
"A and B...there's two? There's twins? We're having twins?" Abby gasped in shock. "We're having twins."
"Twins Abby!" Connor leaned down and kissed her.
"Want to hear their heartbeats?" At their anxious nods the doctor flipped a switch and the odd swoosh swoosh sound of a fetal heartbeat filled the room.
"I'll print off a few pictures for you."
"Are they boys or girls?" Abby asked.
"It's too soon to tell, you might be able to see at your next appointment. I'm referring you to a specialist in multiples. But I can tell you that they're not identical. There is two placentas." As the doctor was explaining she was noting things in the chart. "I'll get those pictures for you."
"Wow Abby. Wow." Connor looked stunned. "I love you."
"I love you too." She replied. "I guess with photographic proof we can tell people now." He kissed again. "Yeah."
That evening she brought up showing the ultrasound pictures to James and Connor didn't object. He even asked, "do you want me to go over there with you?"
Thrilled he was making a stab at getting along, she agreed. He was being a lot less possessive of her than she thought he would be. Of course, the assurance that any between the sheets action was over between her and James might have had something to do with that.
James was home, like he was nearly every evening. He was wearing a polo shirt and jeans when he opened the door for them. "Abby, Connor. How did it go?"
"Wonderful!" She hugged him and ignored the frown from Connor. She had explained that they were going to stay friends and he would have to get used to it. "We got pictures."
She passed the best one over and let him puzzle out the meaning of 'Baby A and Baby B.' His face lit up when he worked it out. It didn't take long.
"There's two! Abby...you're so tiny...how are you going to have twins?" He looked really worried. Connor felt like slapping himself for not thinking of that. Once again, James managed to one up him on concern for her well being.
"Don't worry! I'm going to a specialist in the next few weeks. She's going to put me on a special diet and everything."
"Do you know if it's boys or girls?"
"It's too soon to tell," Connor told him, "but if it's both then I already know what I want to call them." He grinned.
"No." James and Abby both told him at the same time.
"But it's classic!" Connor protested while they all settled down in the living room. "Luke and Leia!"
"Absolutely not. But tell me about the appointment." James requested, "Do you want something to drink or eat? I've got frozen pasta in the freezer." At their nods he got up and started to preheat the oven. Connor reached over and grabbed the tv remote. Battlestar Galactica was on.
James frowned when he saw that, but maybe he was only doing it to distract himself from Abby talking to him, the other man.
Abby followed him into the kitchen relaying everything to him, from how gross the ultrasound fluid was to how the doctors shoes clashed horribly with her blouse. James listened attentively, infected by her happiness and then he grinned when she said that the doctor said they weren't identical.
"You know what that means?"
Abby shook her head no. From the living room Connor chimed in, "That it can be a boy and a girl," in a falsetto voice he added, "Luke and Leia."
James ignored him. "It means that it was two separate eggs and sperm. It could very well be that we're both going to be fathers. Did she pin down a conception date?"
"Within three days. It was around May first and I don't remember anything about that whole week so I don't know. It was almost two months ago."
"Let me check my day planner." James slid the frozen garlic shrimp alfredo into the oven and went into his office. "You make a note on your calendar when I come over?" She nearly giggled.
"No, but it might jog your memory." He pulled up his day planner on the computer, it was linked to the one at work. James scrolled back until he was in the proper time frame. "You did come over. I remember I had that meeting the morning after." His attention had wandered most regrettably during that meeting. If the minister noticed he didn't say anything.
"So both of you could be fathers? This just gets more complicated." Abby sat down on the couch, in the exact same spot Connor had sat in a week before when all they had the first of many discussions.
"How are we going to do that? You can't move in with us. You can't have the baby here without me and it totally wouldn't be fair to do the 'Parent trap' solution and split them up."
James sat down beside her and hugged her close. "We'll think of something. We don't know yet. They could both be Connor's. Then he could have his Luke and Leia."
"Over my dead body," she objected, "seriously, if I die then don't let him name them that. Or Legolas and Aragorn or Arwen and Galadriel or I don't know, Jim and Jean-Luc. No sci-fi pair names." Abby laughed at how ridiculous all this was.
"Or they could both be yours." Connor joined them in the study. "What if they're both his? What then?"
"We'll worry about that if it happens." Abby said. "I don't want you to fight."
"We're not going to fight," James looked at Connor over the top of Abby's head with a warning glare, "Neither one of us wants to upset you." Connor looked insulted, then sheepish. "I'm going to be nice."
"When do you want to tell people at work?"
Abby snorted, "About the three of us in a love triangle? Never."
Connor rolled his eyes. "Not that, about you being pregnant!"
"You should wait, until the end of the third trimester, just in case something happens." James told them both seriously. "My sister had to go back and tell everyone that she wasn't having a baby after all and it was heartbreaking."
Abby shivered. "All right. End of the third trimester it is. Connor, can you keep it a secret?"
"Absolutely." He mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.
In the end it was four months before she told anyone, and it was mostly by accident. Jess saw her appointment confirmation email that the doctors office sent her. By the time the squealing died down every female in the ARC knew Abby and Connor were expecting twins.
It was a very good thing that Jess didn't notice she was forwarding it James. It was his turn to go with her to the appointment.
Dr. Sheldon didn't raise an eyebrow that Abby alternated men that she brought with her, and she told Abby she could have whoever she liked in the delivery room. "Believe me honey," Dr. Sheldon told her when Abby hesitantly brought it up, "We have all kinds of family situations come through here. You can do whatever you like."
At five months she was really starting to show. Baby A was a boy and he liked to be very in front. Baby B was a girl and she liked to spend her time kicking her mum's bladder. It seems that James was right to worry how she was going to carry twins. The baby bump wasn't too badly awkward yet, but there was four months to go.
At least Connor and James were getting along. They were all cruising along, careful not to rock the boat. Abby didn't force them together. James found out that the condo right next door to him was up for sale. He put an option contract on it, just in case.
A few days after the the six month appointment happened Abby noticed that James was a little quieter than normal. He was never giddy like Connor but he just wasn't responding normally to her texts. She went over to his house that evening by herself. Connor was out of town on one of Burton's secret projects. When James opened the door she could see that he had been crying.
"James? What's the matter?" Abby came in and reached up to touch his cheek. He tried not to think about how much he missed her visits. He reached up and gently took her hand, kissing her palm. "It's my mother, she's got cancer. They diagnosed her this morning. It's already advanced stage four. She's got no chance at all, only a few weeks left."
He tried to brush her off but she grabbed him and hugged him. "I'm so sorry! Are you going to visit her this weekend? Do you want me to come with you?"
"I'd love if you could come with me, but it would be really hard to explain all this to my family." He let his hand rest briefly on her stomach. "My not-girlfriends pregnant and we're not positive if I'm the father or not. I think the drama quotient will be high enough with all my brothers and sisters there."
"Oh. I'm so sorry." Abby repeated and hugged him. He dropped a kiss down on the top of her head before he could stop himself. Even before he did that, she could tell how lonely he was by how tightly he held her.
"I'd like to stay here tonight." She whispered in his ear, "you shouldn't be alone."
"Abby..." his voice trailed off, "you can't. What about Connor? We're finally getting along." He didn't relax his grip on her while he was trying to be chivalrous.
"Your mum's dying. I'll call him. He'll understand."
She pulled away from him and pulled out her phone. Connor answered on the third ring. "Hey babe!" He was up to his elbows reassembling a laptop with some super classified chips to run his new anomaly predicting program.
"Hey, listen, there's a problem."
"What?" He sat straight up as worry and concern flooded him , "Are you okay? I'll come back right now-"
"No, not with me, it's James. His mum was diagnosed with cancer, she's only got a short while to live. A few weeks maybe."
Connor winced. He had lost his dad when he was just a boy and it still hurt thinking about it. "That's horrible. Tell him I'm really sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, well, I don't want him to be alone tonight." Abby clutched the phone and said quickly, "I really don't."
"Abby...what are you saying?"
"I'd like to stay over here tonight." She said it all in a rush. "Connor, I don't want him to be alone. I'm worried about him."
She was asking a lot. She knew she was asking a really really lot. She could hear him thinking about what he would be agreeing to. She held her breath and hoped Connor was as capable of being generous with his love as she was. He didn't disappoint.
"Abby, I trust that you love me, and I accept that not very deep down, you're a very complicated woman." He wasn't there for her right now, for example. He was in Italy and had been for a week. "You can stay, and do, whatever you like. I trust you not to leave me."
She exhaled the breath she didn't realize she had been holding, "Thank you Connor. I love you."
"I love you too. Tell James I'm sorry about his mum."
Abby clicked her phone shut and turned around to see James standing right behind her. Certainly close enough to hear that conversation. He was very surprised. "I never thought he had that in him."
"I did. And I know you've got that in you, that's why you pushed us back together."
He jerked his shoulder and winced, "Never thought we'd be in this sort of relationship."
"It's not exactly a threesome, I don't see Connor ever being comfortable with that." She leaned up impishly and brushed lips against him, "intriguing as that thought is."
"You get that 'thought' right out of your head!" James slipped his hands around her and felt some of his sadness slip away at how ridiculous she was being. "But we both love you."
She pulled him down back onto the couch. "Talk to me." He hugged her and rested his chin on the top of her head for a second before he started to repeat what his brother told him. "It's pancreatic, and it's spread to most of her internal organs and her spinal cord. She's always been sick with something. She complained about getting old last time I saw her. That's why it got so advanced before they caught it."
"Are they positive there's nothing...?"
"Yeah." His voice choked up a bit. "Nothing. I'm taking a leave of absence from work tomorrow to drive up and be with her."
"Will your whole family be there?"
"Most likely. Abby, I'd like to take you but she...she'd never understand."
"I know. There's no easy way to explain us." They sat together in companionable silence for a while. He just enjoyed their closeness for a while. She was quiet, waiting for him to speak again. James finally slid them backwards so that they were laying on the couch, cuddling. It was a side of him that no one from work would believe existed.
Abby breathed softly in his ear. "What do you want to do?"
"Anything. Whatever you want."
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's been a while. I've really missed you." He didn't hesitate, he kissed her firmly and held her as close as he could. She could feel how desperate he was for her. She giggled against his lips. They were both a bit old to be making out on the couch but they managed.
"I need you."Abby breathed against his mouth. James went willingly, kissing her hungrily and running his hands around her body. He took over almost immediately, it had been a few months but he still remembered exactly what she liked.
He took his time, exploring the changes in her body. He kissed his way around her stomach. "Are we going to...bother them?"
Abby laughed, "No. They're very well cushioned in there. Does it bother you?"
"No. It's just odd." He ran a hand down her belly and rested it lightly on her soft skin. He smirked up at her before continuing his reacquaintance with her body. Abby gasped her pleasure and ran her fingers through his hair and around his shoulders.
At some point they moved to the bed, shedding clothes as they went. Connor was good, but nobody managed an Australian kiss like he did. Something about pregnancy made her extra sensitive and he took full advantage of that amid her moans. It was a satisfying way to take his mind off things.
Later they were laying together, he was running his hand absently up and down her side before settling it across her stomach. "Are you alright?" She asked him quietly.
"I'm better than I had been in a long while. I missed you so much. Do you think we can go back to the way things were before?"
"Maybe. I hope so. I missed you too." She rolled over so that she was facing him, "kiss me again."
The next day when Connor returned from his week away Abby met him at the door with a passionate kiss. It laid to rest all the fears that had been slowly building in his mind ever since he hung up the phone the night before.
"This is really complicated." He said, "What would you classify this as? I know it's not normal. Are we freaks?" Normal men didn't just accept it when their girlfriend had a fling with an old...benefit.
"No! We're not freaks. I might be, you're not. I don't know. I don't care. You both make me happy."
At the seven month mark the doctor told Abby to stop working. She enjoyed being able to lounge about the house all day, but she got pretty bored. Burton's super secret projects seemed to be heating up and Connor was gone a lot doing things he couldn't talk about.
Abby figured they had a real breakthrough when she overheard Connor calling James and asking him to keep an eye on her while he was out of town.
At the eight month mark she was more than ready to deliver. It was a struggle to walk around, her feet were swollen to a crazy degree and the babies seemed to alternate bouncing on her bladder and kicking her kidneys.
At eight months, one week and two days, she got her wish. A few hours later she was wishing to go back to the irritating yet relatively painless pregnancy. Connor was by her side holding her hand as she paced up and down the delivery floor. Both babies were head down so they were going to try for a normal delivery first.
They had already agreed that they wouldn't call anyone if they could help it. It would be damned hard to explain to Jess or Becker why James Lester was in the delivery room with her. James had finally accepted that he couldn't be there unless he could come up with a good alibi or the delivery happened after working hours.
Abby had called Connor at ten o clock to come drive her to the hospital. Then she called James to let him know what was going on. That day he thankfully only had paperwork to catch up on. If it had been more complicated he might have given something away.
By the time he got to the hospital at six he was past caring who found out or thought that they were sex freaks. He wanted to be there. It might not even be his babies, but he still wasn't going to let the woman he loved go through that with only goofy Connor Temple by her side.
At a bit after midnight, he got his wish. Abby was sitting up, clutching his hand. Connor was in an identical pose on the other side of her.
"And one more push!" The doctor commanded. Abby bore down and pushed. All three of them saw the first head slip out. It had dark hair. "It's the girl!" The doctor cleaned her mouth out and held her up so they could see her cry. She laid the baby on Abby's chest and turned back to business, the boy was already crowning.
James reached out with a cautious finger and touched her head, Connor did the same with her hand. They both looked at each other over the baby and quickly glanced away, the emotion in their eyes being too much.
"She's beautiful Abby," Connor said, kissing her on the mouth, "Just beautiful."
"Who's cutting the first cord?" The doctor asked, holding up a pair of scissors. "You do it Connor." James said quickly. He didn't think he could keep his hand from shaking. "I'll do the next one."
"Another push!" Somehow, the doctor managed to coordinate cutting the cord and delivering the second baby. Abby cried out again when the boy was born. Again, they watched the doctor clean his mouth out and lay him on her stomach next to his sister.
The nurses were leaning over them swiping the babies off without taking them away. Abby let go of their hands and carefully touched them, her own babies for the first time.
"It's your turn!" The doctor said cheerfully, holding out another pair of scissors to James. Still with his hands shaking, he cut between the two clamps where the doctor indicated.
After that things seemed to go in a whirlwind, the nurses whisked the babies off to the other side of the room to be weighed and really cleaned up. The doctor was doing something complicated, mashing on Abby's abdomen and the two men felt as if they were both going to faint, not that they'd ever say that to each other.
"Have you picked out names yet?" One of the nurses asked them as she returned one of the twins. "Luke and Leia," Connor said hopefully.
"No." Again, Abby and James shot him down. "We don't have to name right now do we?"
"No, but you have to file the birth certificate within two weeks or there's horrible paperwork." The nurse explained as she settled the baby into Abby's arms. "Support her head."
She cuddled her baby, cooing at her. She wasn't aware she was nearly crying until she looked up and realized that Connor and James were in the same state. Another nurse returned her son, and showed her how to hold two newborns at the same time. She only did that for a moment before passing her daughter off to Connor and cuddling with her son. James looked terribly left out so she handed the baby over.
"Wow." Abby said, overwhelmed with the occasion. Both men were reduced to quivering piles of goo as they cuddled the babies. They both knew that one of then was going to end up heartbroken.
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