Around me, I felt the air turn to ice.
"He's a vampire, Tia," I heard the strange, beautiful lady say to me. Dimly, through the alarm bells in my head I thought How does she know my name?
But the thoughts soon disappeared. Panic took over my body. Who had I loved all this time? Had it all been a lie? Was it true that he only spent time with me to drink my blood at a later time?
No, a second voice sprung into life. It was true. You didn't experience so much for a lie. There's no reason for you to doubt Benjamin now. You don't even know this woman!
"It's not true…" I heard myself whisper.
"That's what he is, Tia. I think you should get used to the fact that the one you love drinks human blood."
Sweat ran down my neck in rivers.
As if from a distance, I registered the thud, thud of my heart. It beat faster and harder and every breath that gasped through my teeth seemed inadequate.
I looked to my left… and gasped. The beautiful woman had disappeared. I heard a whisper of sound in the room and I turned my head instinctively.
I noticed three things simultaneously: one, the woman was standing in the doorway. Two, Benjamin was standing next to her with a horrified expression. Three, Benjamin's fingers dripped with blood.
My eyes locked onto his.
The woman walked away, more gracefully than I could believe. I watched her progress until she was out of sight. Then I returned my attention to Benjamin.
"Get away from me," I hissed as he made a move towards me.
"No! Tia, you don't understand!" he cried. Agony was clear in his voice. It almost made me want to forget about the vampire thing and just hug him. Almost. But not quite.
"I understand perfectly. I know it's true."
"Wait – what?"
"I see the blood on your fingers, Benjamin. Don't lie to me. You… you wanted to kill me all this time!"
"No! That's not true!" he shouted. But as he said so, he looked at his hand… he seemed surprised, as if he hadn't noticed the vivid red liquid dripping from his fingers. He dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out a handful of glass, the remains of some vial. He pulled out the horrified expression again. It was an act, of course, I could see that now.
"Benjamin. I appreciate all you've done for me. But now Raphael is gone and there's no need for you to follow me around like a guard dog. I don't want to see you again." I almost added 'I'll miss you," but left it out. He could use it against me. Another way to get at my blood.
I swung my legs up from under the covers and over the side of the bed. Sitting up, I slipped on a new pair of shoes I had spotted by the bed and stood up. Gritting my teeth against the pain in my head, I took a hesitant step… and stumbled, almost hitting the dresser. Benjamin lifted a hand as if to help me, but I hissed at him. He stepped back, the pain in his face well-disguised, but not invisible.
Then I walked out the door and I didn't look back.
But I did say something, which I doubted he would be able to hear.
"I love you," I murmured.
Then I began the long walk home.
Each step was an eternity, or so it seemed. Until that point, there had been something terribly cliché about the word "heartbroken." But that was exactly how I felt; I couldn't describe the pain that ripped through me as I moved further and further away, forcing myself not to look back as I knew that I would not be able to resist running back to him.
And after that came the numbness. In some ways, it was worse than the pain. I couldn't think clearly, I couldn't form rational thoughts which did not include jumping from high places or drinking poisonous substances. It was like my heart had given up, only retaining enough sanity to keep me alive.
It was so unfair. Why was I being held back from true love? Had I done something to offend Hathor, goddess of love?
And as I had that thought, something occurred to me. No one was keeping me back from true love… except me. I was holding myself back!
I recalled the memory of the woman's face as she spoke. Something occurred to me as I played the memory in my head. As I denied that he was a vampire… there! A flash of contempt in her eyes. She hadn't cared for me at all.
Then I realised that I had been looking for it in a memory and I was probably just searching for excuses to go back. I curled into a tight ball again and closed my eyes.
Stupid girl. You don't know what you're missing out on by not going back.
Don't give her bad advice. That boy is bad news. Stay away from him, sweetheart.
Oh, so I'm giving her bad advice? You're keeping her from something that makes her happy!
I'm keeping her from death!
Happiness!
Death!
Happiness!
"Isis." I groaned "Shut up, both of you!"
Unfortunately, I argued with myself the whole night. And finally reached a conclusion…
It was probably never Benjamin's intention to hurt me. Which meant that… that woman was dangerous. Very dangerous.
I had to find Benjamin.
But not now. It was three in the morning and he would probably be asleep. My mind spiralled back and I realised that I had, in total, only been with Benjamin for a total of eight meetings. Was that really enough time to fall in love so deeply?
Unbidden, a memory wound its way into my mind, momentarily distracting me from Benjamin.
My parents had met each other by the river Nile. My mother was drawing water and my father had been rowing a boat full of goods downriver. Before the day was out, my father went to see my mother's parents. And that was that. They were married the next month.
So were eight meetings enough to fall in love with someone?
Absolutely.
Then, contented and tired, I fell asleep. Throughout the night, my mind swirled with dreams of Benjamin.
*****
I woke up wrapped in blankets, and for once, completely able to talk. The cold morning air hadn't affected me as it usually did. Well, it seemed the bandages around my throat were good for something. Strange though... I wasn't wrapped in blankets when I went to sleep... in all honesty, I'd expected to be an icicle when I awoke. Hmm... it really was puzzling.
I tried to remember last night, before I fell asleep. I must have been very tired – I couldn't remember anything. Only hazy trains of thought. Before I reached home; that part was clear. Painfully clear. I couldn't remember anything about blankets. But what other explanation was there? I must have covered myself before sleeping.
The pain had started up again, fiery, pinning me down. It was worse than being cut by Raphael's blade, worse by far. Worse than the rejection of my parents. Worse than being shunned by my group. My breath began coming in short little gasps. But it didn't last long.
And now, in the day, it was very clear as to what I must do.
My parents were in another country and we hadn't spoken for years. Not after the Fight anyway.
My friends wouldn't miss me anyway.
What did I have to lose?
It wouldn't be too hard to get a ride into the hills. Being driven was too much to hope for; I'd have to hire a horse for the journey. And from there... well, it wouldn't be too hard. Nothing could be worse than the pain I was feeling now. But before I did it, I needed to write some letters.
Mom, I wrote.
I want you to know that I forgive you.
Tia.
Hands shaking, I sealed the envelope and wrote my mother's address carefully on it. Then I moved onto the next piece of paper.
Benjamin, I -
I stopped there. My hand was shaking too much to write. I gave myself a few minutes to calm down, then I took up my pen and continued writing.
Benjamin,
I'm sorry. About a lot of things. But mostly, I'm sorry that I trusted you. Please don't misunderstand; I'm not angry. Not anymore.
I love you.
Tia.
I sealed the envelope, wrote his address on the front and tucked both envelopes into my jacket pocket. Then I looked around my room for the last time. I nodded briskly, stepped outside and closed the door behind me.
It didn't take long for me to find a ride. I had a contact at the nearest stable and she let me take a horse for the day. I was surprised by how easily mounting and riding came to me. A memory entered my mind, back from the days when my family was still one unit. A five year old me sat astride a huge brown horse. My father's strong arms curved around me, holding tight to the reins. "Hold on!" he says to me, and kicks the horse. It leaps forward and I scream with fright at the speed. He laughs and reins the horse in. "Was that fun?" he asks. And despite my shock, I'm smiling. "Yes," I say.
I smiled sadly as I returned to the present. That was over now. Wouldn't happen again. But nevertheless, I held onto the memory as I rode through Alexandria, past the dark forest, past all the houses and into the hills.
It seemed to me that the world was particularly beautiful that day. The hills stretched into the distance, such a vibrant, healthy green it hurt my eyes. Flowers peeped out from the soil and waved gently in the breeze. The sunlight seemed to beautify anything it touched. Exhaling in wonder, I reined the horse in and looked around me in joy. Earth was sending me off into the next world in the most fabulous way possible. It almost made me turn around and head back to my home – but then I remembered the pain. The betrayal. As soon as I thought that, an aching numbness started in the pit of my stomach. I began hyperventilating again, and I had to dismount so that I wouldn't startle the horse. I curled up amidst the flowers until my breathing had slowed, then I left the horse and walked slowly to the top of the hill, where a separate path led to an abrupt drop off. I knew these hills well; I had come here often with friends. That was how I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and exactly how I would do it.
My heart thumped faster as I stepped onto the rough path that led to the drop-off. My plan was simple – don't look down and keep walking. I persuaded myself that it was only a short way down. Only a little. And even if it wasn't, it would at least be a quick end. My steps grew steadier, and soon I was striding along at a pace that, when I reached the drop off, I didn't even notice that I was falling for a minute. Then the wind was rushing through my hair and I screamed with exhilaration.
I fell, down into the blackness.
A/N: Heyyeaa. God, I feel like a bitch, I haven't updated in forever! :((
Blame that terrible thing called writers' block. Eesh. Not to mention, it's so effing SHORT! Anyway. As I took so long to update, you'd think this chapter would be sort of up-to-standard. But no, it's not. Feel free to dis me, or make up rude songs about me.
Or, if you like it, REVIEW! :D :D
Also, I managed to finally deal with this chapter thanks to 'Twilight for eternity' and SalluSocialites. You know I love you. :))
Thanks to:
- Fiery-Cherry-Princess12
- Neeyam
- -irish8642
- onimaster818
- RidesOnPegasus
- Jade Taylor
- TwERd xP
- Catriel
- 13WolfGirl13
And, as always, to new york gal, Mitu and Sallu. xx
new york girl: THANK YOU! Phew... I thought everyone would hate the flashbacks. Ugh. And I know you'll stop reading In The Candlelight after this shitty chapter. I'm crying in advance. :'(
Mitu: d00de. Go ahead and email with angry accusations and full caps. I deserve it. :((
BiteMe21: I know, right? The Silk Road is terrible. And this new school year, we're dong World War I. I kind of lost track of who started it. :( And I love that you love Tassara! I hope this chapter is okay... she's not in it...
SalluSocialites: I swear. Nayantu just makes me tear out my hair whenever I read it in the email! EMAIL MEEEE. Tell me how bad this chapter is! :((((((
xoxo