I Honestly Love You (2/4)
Five times Blaine didn't realize he was in love with Kurt, and one time he did.
Spoilers: Spoilers for Silly Love Songs. The rest is just speculation.
Warning: Spoilers and speculation for upcoming episodes.
Disclaimer: Glee is so not mine.
Rating: PG-13 with some strong language
Word Count: 6586
Summary: Their feelings are out on the table, but they decide to preserve their friendship by staying just friends. It was Blaine's idea, so why can't he seem to handle it? This section: The Warblers give Blaine and Kurt a unique opportunity. Later, Kurt gets drunk at a party and Blaine gets protective.
Author's Note: OK. Wow. So. I know this story was only supposed to be three parts, but the third installment of this "five times" thing kind of took on a life of its own. So, my apologies, but I'm only posting the third installment … although I'd like to think you won't be too disappointed with it!
Three:
"…And Blaine will take the lead vocals for 'In My Head,'" Wes announced, looking down at his notes. "There are a few other parts in that piece we'll be inviting some of you to audition for."
The Warblers applauded politely and Blaine just smiled and nodded in recognition. Kurt was sitting across from him on the couch in the practice room, rolling his eyes but clapping along anyway.
"Oh my God, Blaine! A solo!" Kurt exclaimed with mock enthusiasm as the rest of the group chatted excitedly about their set list for regionals. "Congratulations. I know how few and far between they are."
Blaine stuck his tongue out and made a face just as Wes called them to order with a bang of his gavel. Kurt bit back laughter and quickly collected himself, his face turning bright red.
"Blaine. Kurt."
Kurt gave Blaine a panicked look and Blaine returned it with the same level of horror. This wouldn't be the first time Wes called them out for goofing around in practice (trying to trip each other during routines, mocking the gavel, the list went on). Last week, Blaine had even been pulled aside for a private conversation.
"Blaine, you used to be so behaved during rehearsals," Wes had told him as they stood in the hallway outside the practice room. "Look. It's great that you and Kurt are on good terms after your failure at the Gap – thanks for associating the Warblers with that, by the way." Wes gave him a pointed look and Blaine snorted. "But you two seriously need to tone it down. It's distracting. Remember Robert and Ian last year? They were seniors? The panel had to suspend them from practice for two weeks because they were practically making out during rehearsals."
"OK. Right. Except Kurt and I aren't dating."
"You and Kurt had a tickle fight on the couch during the five minute break yesterday," Wes reminded him, face completely void of emotion. "For a few horrifying moments I thought I was babysitting preschoolers."
Blaine pursed his lips and stared up at the ceiling, nodding thoughtfully. "Fair enough. I see how that could be obnoxious."
"Thank you," Wes sighed, shouldering his bag. "And for the record – before you enlisted us to go stalk that Gap clerk – we all thought you and Kurt were an item. Or at least sleeping together." Wes had smirked and run off before Blaine could react.
"We're not doing anything!" Kurt snapped at Wes immediately, bringing Blaine back to the present.
"We're not even sitting together!" Blaine added helpfully, pointing at Kurt for emphasis. Kurt nodded enthusiastically.
The room fell silent and Wes gave them an amused half smile. Blaine realized about five seconds later that they had not been called out for their behavior. Kurt caught on, too. Blaine watched him blush from his spot on the couch.
"Are you two done? Can I continue?"
They both nodded.
"OK then," Wes laughed. "The panel would like to offer the two of you a piece to sing together at regionals. This is something that we've never done before, but we think it's necessary in order to move on to nationals. Most of the judges this year are younger and more open-minded than we've had in the past, and they're craving something original. Something fresh. We've decided featuring two Warblers in a romantically themed song is the best route to take."
Blaine braced himself for the riot that was bound to happen any second now. When he had asked the Warblers to perform at the Gap with him, the majority of them had nearly gone into cardiac arrest at the very notion of entertaining a crowd in an unprofessional setting.
But now, no one stormed out. No one threw sheet music at Wes. The fires of hell didn't engulf the practice room. Blaine only heard murmurs of approval and watched as almost everyone nodded eagerly.
"You two have excellent stage presence and even better chemistry," Wes continued. Someone standing behind Blaine's chair snickered. Blaine ignored it, but he saw Kurt tense. "It's 'Set the Fire to the Third Bar' by Snow Patrol. Between the two of you, you'll destroy it. Come pick up your folders after rehearsal."
Kurt's hand shot up in the air immediately and everyone stared. He was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, looking vulnerable and troubled. Blaine frowned and tilted his head to the side, trying to get a better reading. But Kurt didn't look his way.
"Kurt?" Wes nodded.
Kurt forced a polite smile and angled himself so he could address the rest of the Warblers from his seat on the couch. "As humbled as I am by your offer, I'd like to respectfully decline. I didn't even audition. I don't feel right taking on a lead part – not when I'm still pretty new."
Several of the boys murmured their disapproval, shooting Kurt curious glances. Naturally, they all eventually looked at Blaine to gauge his reaction. Blaine made a point to stare down at his shoes, keeping his face void of emotion.
Wes slammed the gavel down and everyone silenced.
"Kurt, you were handpicked by the panel."
Kurt took a deep breath, still smiling but looking just as nervous. "I recognize that and greatly appreciate the offer. Like I said, there are other members who deserve it more than I do."
David shot Wes a pointed sidelong glance and Wes shrugged his shoulders. "Very well, then. In that case, there are several of you we would like to call in for auditions."
When rehearsal finally ended at six, Blaine watched as Kurt hopped up from his seat and shouldered his backpack before making a beeline to the exit. Blaine grabbed his bag and followed after him, running a little to catch up.
"Kurt!" he called once they were out in the deserted hallways. He was highly aware of his voice echoing, so he quieted down as he came up from behind, grabbing Kurt's arm before he could move any faster. "Hey, Kurt, wait up."
Kurt stopped and Blaine pulled him off to the side so they were crowded against the wall, alone.
"What was that?" Blaine whispered, even though the hallway was empty.
Kurt shrugged weakly and frowned at him, eyes suddenly dull. "I just couldn't sing with you."
Blaine stepped back and winced, feeling as though he had just been slapped in the face. Kurt looked like he immediately wanted to retract his statement. But instead of apologizing he kept staring, waiting for Blaine to say something.
"I – wow," Blaine replied, finding it hard to reel in the bitterness he knew was showing in his tone. "Why not? We would've been amazing. Why are you being so selfish?"
"Selfish?" Kurt snapped. Blaine watched his hand tighten around the strap of his messenger bag. "I'm giving the rest of them an opportunity to sing! Some of them are seniors and they've never even had a solo! In the Snow Patrol piece they'll be overshadowed by you, but at least they'll have something! And I'm not going to be one of those guys they just hand solos to!"
Kurt's hand slapped over his own mouth in shock. He groaned and shook his head desperately.
"No, Blaine, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."
"It's OK," Blaine answered quietly, letting Kurt's words slide for now. His face was bright red and his eyes were beginning to gleam – clearly he was flustered and upset. Blaine could easily forgive him for this. "But this isn't about everyone else getting a fair chance at singing, is it?"
Kurt shook his head, lips beginning to tremble. He crossed his arms, taking a protective stance and trying to collect himself. "No."
Blaine closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "OK. Come on." He grabbed Kurt's hand before even thinking about the repercussions or if, at this point in their relationship, it was even appropriate. But he did it anyway, afraid to look back at Kurt to see his expression.
He led him over to a cluster of chairs and sofas that served as one of Dalton's lounges and gently pushed him back into one of the armchairs.
"Talk to me," Blaine urged, kneeling in front of him and squeezing his knee.
Kurt inched away slightly and focused on a spot past Blaine's head. "I know we haven't talked about Valentine's Day since it happened. So, what, three weeks?" Kurt shrugged and finally found the courage to make eye contact. "Anyway. I still think about what you said – how even though you don't know what you're doing, you can express yourself through music. Through songs. And I just remember the way you looked at me during 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' and I don't want to feel that way again. Feel like it means something. But I'm also afraid of what I won't see."
Blaine stared down at Kurt's shoes, still kneading his knee even though Kurt had stiffened under his touch. He hated this. He hated that he was helpless, that he couldn't just love Kurt back the way he wanted to be loved. Blaine admitted that the first time he met Kurt, he was thrilled. It was like he had been dropped from heaven onto Dalton's staircase – like God was telling him here is this beautiful boy. He's yours. Take him. Love him. Serenade him with a suggestive song. But then Kurt had broken down in front of him with stories of bullying and the pain he went through every day. And then the kiss – the assault. At that point, Blaine had decided what Kurt needed was a friend. He had locked away any initial feelings of attraction and chemistry, writing them off as silliness and excitement. He had locked them away and forgotten about them. And he knew he couldn't just snap his fingers and bring them back.
In all honesty, he didn't think he wanted to. His own personal insecurities had surfaced right in front of Kurt on Valentine's Day, and it had been terrifying. They were too similar for this to go beyond friendship. They were too nervous and afraid, and neither one of them – especially Kurt – deserved to get hurt in a relationship that Blaine was nearly positive would destroy them and any hope of friendship they might have afterwards.
He finally ran his tongue over his suddenly dry lips and looked back up.
"Kurt, I hate seeing you like this." It wasn't much. It didn't offer a solution. But it was all he could think of. "I thought we were good after Valentine's Day – that we had reached an agreement."
"No, we are! We did!" Kurt assured him quickly. He paused. "I'm taking precautions. I'm working on…on getting over you. And I'm there. I'm almost there. I just don't want to rebound."
Blaine pulled his hand off of Kurt's knee and fell back on his heels. "Is anything I'm doing making it worse?" His mind flashed back to all the goofing around during rehearsal, the casual touches, the tickle fight Wes had brought up. "Please be honest."
"We're always honest," Kurt reminded him. Blaine relaxed. "And no. You're doing nothing wrong. I get that we can do all the things we do now and still just be friends. I don't interpret that the wrong way anymore – Blaine, I promise you that. It's just…if your true emotions are really put on the table during song, I don't want to sing with you." Kurt took a deep breath and smiled easily. "There. Honesty. Feels good."
Blaine pushed himself back up to his feet and took a step back, holding his arms wide open. Kurt smiled and stood up as well, throwing himself into the hug. Blaine squeezed him tightly against his chest, resting his chin on top of Kurt's shoulder.
"We're going to work through this," Blaine promised. "Whatever it takes."
Blaine was pretty sure whatever was going on here was quite possibly the most fucked up situation ever. Normal people – especially teenagers – didn't work things out like this. Wasn't he supposed to be avoiding Kurt? Weren't they supposed to be fighting? Blaine knew Kurt and Finn were ridiculously close now, but they had gone through a lot of screaming, name calling, shower curtains and awkwardness to get there.
And then Blaine realized it. When Kurt said he was almost over him, he really had meant it. Kurt was being honest and true to himself – he was holding out for someone who wanted him in ways Blaine just couldn't. Kurt didn't want to sing with Blaine because he wanted to be over him.
Blaine hugged Kurt a little tighter. This should have been a relief, but Blaine couldn't shake the feeling of loss. Would a Kurt who was completely over him be the same as a Kurt who had once harbored feelings? So far, with Kurt stuck somewhere in between, he couldn't really tell the difference. Not yet.
"So," Kurt said once they pulled away from their hug. "It's Friday. What's on the agenda tonight? I think we've tried every restaurant in Westerville. And now that half of the Warblers have invited themselves to our movie nights in my dorm, watching any film that actually requires paying attention to the plot is pointless."
Blaine pushed aside his previous thoughts and forced himself back into the present. He and Kurt usually did go out on Friday nights, but things were getting a little repetitive. They could only spend so much money on dinners and movie tickets. Now that the Warblers were beginning to intrude on their time together (probably after realizing they weren't really dating), they couldn't just hang out alone anymore without three or four of their teammates mistaking it for a group activity and joining in.
They were silently pondering when something occurred to Blaine. One of his closest friends from his old high school, Kristy, had a habit of texting him invitations to parties she was attending every weekend. Blaine always made it clear he wasn't interested in getting wasted, but the invitations never stopped.
He pulled out his cell phone and flipped to the text Kristy had sent him that morning.
Hey cutie. Party at Sigma Phi Nu's off campus house tonight around eleven. Guaranteed gay boys for you as always. I mean it's a fraternity right! Kidding, kind of. I really miss you!
He had replied with Sorry, no! Still underage by the way. Oh, that reminds me. I have a story for you. And I miss you too! But now he was beginning to rethink his answer. He smiled slightly and looked back up at Kurt.
"Have I ever told you about my friend Kristy?"
Kurt shrugged. "Might have mentioned her before."
"She goes to Ohio State," Blaine continued, closing the message and pocketing his phone. "How would you like to go to a party? She invited us. Well, me. But considering she invites me to parties she's not even hosting, I don't think it's a big deal."
Kurt arched an eyebrow. "Like a drinking party?"
Blaine quickly backtracked. "We don't have to drink. We don't even have to go. I mean, I won't be drinking because I'll be driving back but – "
"Let's go," Kurt interrupted. Blaine's eyes widened in surprise.
"Wow, really?"
"Sure," Kurt shrugged, grinning. "I mean, I probably won't drink but, hey, it's something new to do."
Blaine grinned back, laughing softly. "All right! It's happening, then."
Kurt grabbed his hand, dragging him back towards the dorms. "Well, come on! There will be boys there. We have to look good."
Blaine laughed and tripped after him, ignoring the part of him that didn't like the idea of Kurt trying to impress someone else. He fostered that unexpected surge of negative energy into something that actually made sense.
"Kurt, I have one word for you: Jeremiah."
Kurt let go of his hand in order to fish his room keys out of his pocket as they approached his room.
"What about him?" Kurt asked, back facing Blaine as he unlocked and opened his door.
"We're underage. Messing around with college boys…in my limited experience, it's not a great idea."
Kurt snickered slightly and Blaine rolled his eyes, following him into his room and falling down onto Kurt's bed unceremoniously.
"I'm serious, though," Blaine warned, grabbing Kurt's pillow and hugging it against his chest. He buried his nose against the top part of it as Kurt threw open the doors to his wardrobe and began sorting through his outfits.
"Well, we also shouldn't be drinking," Kurt reminded him, turning slightly to glance at Blaine. "And – what are you doing to my pillow?"
"It smells good. Like a mix of Burberry and expensive shampoo."
"…You're weird. Anyways. It's not like I'm trying to get with anyone, Blaine. Sometimes it's nice to look and, I don't know, maybe be looked at for a change."
Blaine noticed the blush that reached the apples of Kurt's cheeks at the very idea and he immediately felt guilty. Now he had a better understanding as to why Kurt was eager to go to this party. Even if he didn't have a chance with anyone there, this was Kurt moving on.
"Blaine! You came!"
He laughed and opened his arms as Kristy ran across the living room to the front entrance, throwing herself onto Blaine. She was a tiny thing – a little shorter than him with a mess of brown curly hair and a sprinkling of freckles across a ski jump nose. She really hadn't changed at all since Blaine had last been with her.
She squeezed Blaine's waist and squealed, pulling free to grin up at him. Blaine's eyes traveled over to Kurt who was standing next to him, looking a little shocked and out of place. Blaine smiled and grabbed Kurt's wrist, pulling him over.
"She's really not drunk. This is just Kristy." Kristy slapped him playfully and Blaine laughed. "Kris, this is my friend Kurt."
"Oh!" Kristy exclaimed, beaming and sharing a handshake with him as Blaine looked around the tiny living room. Empty alcohol bottles were stacked in the windowsills, like they were some kind of decoration – Blaine didn't really understand. A couple was perched on a stained couch, cuddling and sipping beers. A few boys were scattered about, some of them holding onto girls and others texting or talking amongst each other. He heard the clattering of bottles and dishes in the kitchen.
"This party is off the hook," Blaine teased.
Kristy rolled her eyes. "That's what you get for showing up, hmm…" she checked her phone. "Exactly at eleven. People don't start filtering in until after midnight, silly. I'm only here because I told Greg I'd help set up."
"Greg? Still?" Blaine asked, frowning in disproval. "Kristy, really. You could do better."
Kristy shrugged her shoulders. "Can't get rid of him. Half of my graduating class went to OSU, Blaine. It's a vicious cycle."
"Um," Kurt interrupted. They both fell silent. "While you guys catch up, should I go grab drinks?"
Kristy smiled and waved around the bottle of Mike's Hard she already had clasped in her hand.
Blaine frowned and shook his head, grabbing Kurt's wrist again. "No, hey, just stay here for awhile. Buddy system. We talked about this."
"Blaine. There are like five people in this room and I can see the kitchen from where I'm standing."
Kristy looked amused as Blaine sighed, letting go of Kurt's wrist and shrugging. "Just grab me a water or something, OK?"
Kurt nodded before rounding the corner into the kitchen and disappearing. Blaine stared after him worriedly, having a bit of an internal battle. But he wasn't Kurt's father, so – oh, God, what would Burt think if he ever found out about this?
Blaine was nervously chewing on his bottom lip when Kristy nudged him with her shoulder, laughing.
"Calm down, babe. He's pretty, but he's not going to get jumped on his way to the kitchen."
Blaine nodded slightly and sighed deeply, letting the tension leave his back and shoulders. He managed to smile down at Kristy. "I'm so happy to see you."
Kristy smiled back, her nose wrinkling. "So. You and Kurt. Are you guys…?" she mimed holding something in front of her and moved her hips suggestively.
Blaine's mouth fell open and he felt his entire face turn red immediately. He knocked away Kristy's hands. "Stop!"
Kristy laughed and raised her eyebrows. "Wait. I can't tell now. Are you? Or do you just want to?"
Blaine was flushing out of anger now. "Neither, Kristy. Two gay guys can just be friends."
Kristy tilted her head to the side, observing him. He looked away uncomfortably – he hated when she did this. On a good day, she could see right through him.
"OK," she said softly, taking his hand and leading him over to the couch. They sat down on the end opposite the other couple. "Tell me everything."
He spilled, telling her everything that had happened since the moment he first set eyes on Kurt to the moment they had stepped up to the front door of the Sigma Phi Nu house. Kristy listened patiently, butting in every now and then for clarification but otherwise staying silent. When he finally finished, she took a swig of her drink and set it down on the coffee table.
"OK. Let me get this straight. You're not in love with him?"
"No," Blaine answered, watching as Kristy frowned back at him. "But I do love him. A lot. He knows it, too. He's just too important to me, and I know I'd screw it up if we were together in that way. It's not worth it."
"Blaine, part of the beauty of relationships is working through your problems. Not avoiding them."
"We're not avoiding our problems because we don't have any. Because we're just friends."
He could see that Kristy was clearly not buying it. "Uh huh. I don't know what you think you're saying, but what I'm hearing is 'I like him, but I'm not good enough for him.'"
"You're completely wrong," Blaine argued. "That's not what I'm saying at all. If I did like him in that way, wouldn't I have gone after him instead of Jeremiah?" He smiled smugly and leaned back into the couch, feeling confident he had bested Kristy. But she smiled back softly, and he immediately knew she had more input.
"Honey, you went after Jeremiah because he went for you first. You said he was the one who asked you out to coffee, right? Of course you fell for him. You were flattered that someone else took the initiative. From what I gathered, Kurt's interest in you wasn't obvious and you didn't even realize he felt that way until he told you. Subconsciously, maybe that bothered you. Maybe you were waiting for it. When it didn't come, you went for the first person who offered what you couldn't get from Kurt…and then he stopped returning your texts because he found out you were in high school."
Blaine shook his head, avoiding Kristy's eyes now. She was staring at him intently. "You're wrong."
"I know you think Kurt needs someone who wants him completely without any hesitation or qualms, but is that person going to love him like you do?"
Blaine opened his mouth to answer even though he hadn't decided what to say yet. All that came out was a muffled sigh as he let his face fall into his hands.
"I don't know," he groaned. "I really don't. But what I do know is that you've barely even met him, so trying to dive into the psyche of our friendship is a bit pretentious."
"I know you, though," Kristy reasoned. And it was really amazing how easily she could go from goofy to serious in a matter of minutes. "And I know how hard you are on yourself and I know how this whole self-loathing thing goes. But you have to accept that if someone falls in love with you, they fall in love with all your little imperfections, too. All they want is your loyalty and the willingness to work out anything that gets in your way. Because it won't be perfect. And this little idea that you have in your head that staying out of love with Kurt will keep your friendship alive forever…news flash, dear. Friendships end, too. And when he finds someone else and you become second in his life…" Kristy shrugged sadly. "You've lost him."
Blaine stared down at his lap, trying to keep it together. On one hand, he was upset with Kristy for trying to assess his situation from the outside. Granted, she was getting a little drunk and that usually made her talk longer and faster. On the other hand, a lot of what she was saying made sense.
He loved Kristy. He really did. She was two years older, and her impending graduation had been one of the reasons he had transferred to Dalton. She had been his support system. Kristy had been a popular girl, and her acceptance and friendship with Blaine had kept him relatively safe from bullies. But not always. She always knew what to say to calm him down or reassure him. Now, though, she was doing a terrible job of it. Because he was pretty sure he was about to have a nervous breakdown.
"I don't know what I want," he admitted as Kristy finished her bottle. "I just know I want someone to make him completely and totally and happy and I know right off the bat that person isn't me. I'm clearly a mess."
Kristy sunk back into the couch, resting a head on Blaine's shoulder and not even bothering to retort. He was pretty sure that meant she considered him a mess, too.
"If we're both miserable and alone by the time we're forty, can we just get married for image purposes?" Kristy asked.
"Deal," Blaine sighed. "What about Greg?"
"Eh." Kristy shrugged.
A sudden blast of music made Blaine nearly jump out of his skin and suddenly become aware of his surroundings. Someone had obviously plugged their iPod into the speaker systems and about twenty new people were crowded in the living room. His throat ran dry and he was already beginning to feel a little claustrophobic.
And that reminded him. Kurt was supposed to bring him water a good half hour ago.
"Hang on," Blaine snapped, jumping up from the couch and shoving through the new crowd of people. He passed the stereo and nearly lost his hearing, but he finally made it to the kitchen where he pushed through a completely different crowd of partygoers waiting in line for drinks. He didn't spot Kurt in that cluster, so he squeezed into the adjoining room that was most likely supposed to be a dining room but had been fashioned into more of a lounge.
All he could smell was smoke and booze and, if he hadn't already regretted his decision to attend the party, he was regretting it now. This was too intense – too much. He looked around the room, but there was still no sign of Kurt.
He whipped out his phone and shot out a text.
Kurt, where the hell are you? Are you all right? I'm looking for you. -Blaine
He clutched his phone in his hand, staring at the screen and waiting for a reply. When it didn't come, he spun around to search the room again. He inched over to the far side by the windows – and that's where he found Kurt.
Kurt was sitting on a loveseat with another boy, talking animatedly and waving his hands while grinning ear to ear. He had a half-empty bottle of Smirnoff in one hand. He took a quick sip and went on talking.
The other boy, actually, was more like a man. Even though he was sitting, Blaine could tell he was about six feet tall. He was wearing an Ohio State jersey and, honestly, Blaine would've mistaken him for a straight man if it hadn't been for the fact he was running his hand up and down Kurt's thigh. And Kurt wasn't doing anything to stop him.
Blaine observed from a distance as Kurt hiccupped and tried to place his bottle down on the table next to a collection that Blaine really hoped wasn't his. He missed the table and lost his balance, laughing lightly. The other guy reached out and steadied him, rubbing at Kurt's shoulder now.
And then Blaine noticed the look he was giving Kurt. It was sober, strong and blatant. Furious, Blaine began to consider how he should handle the intervention he was beginning to plan in his head. A part of him just wanted to go up and take the guy out, but the logical part of him knew that wasn't very realistic. He finally made the decision to just walk up and start talking, eventually drawing Kurt away from the situation. But before he could act, the man's hands flew to Kurt's waist and dug in as he pressed his lips against Kurt's and forced his tongue through.
Kurt squirmed slightly, trying to tug away but eagerly returning the kiss as well. The man's lips ventured down to his neck and Kurt pulled up, gasping for air and digging his fingers into the man's back.
"Hey!" Blaine shouted, marching up to the loveseat and peeling Kurt off of the man before shoving the latter back by his shoulders. He gave Blaine an enraged look and stood up, revealing his full height. At that point, Blaine was pretty sure he was going to die. But the man paused when Kurt staggered up to his feet and flung himself at Blaine, sobbing.
Kristy came running up right at that moment, stepping between Blaine and the taller man and placing both hands flat on Kurt's back, rubbing up and down and trying to soothe him. Kurt shrunk away from her and just held on tighter to Blaine.
"Please help me get him out of here," Blaine called over the noise, absently stroking Kurt's arm. The other man shot him a look before wandering off. "And tell Greg to get that creep out of here."
Kristy, considerably sobered up, helped lead Kurt back through the house and into Blaine's jeep.
Blaine held Kurt's hand the whole way back to Westerville, knowing it wasn't the safest way to drive but refusing to let go nonetheless. Kurt was still crying and sniffing quietly, mumbling nonsense about the frat boy from the party and how nice he had been at first.
"He didn't even ask if I wanted to kiss him," Kurt hiccupped for what was probably the fifth time, his words still slurred. Blaine just squeezed his hand and nodded, trying to keep himself composed. All that mattered was that Kurt was here and safe in his car. There was no need to freak out. There was no need to turn around, walk back into that house, and murder this guy. Blaine knew there was only one thing a completely sober man would want to do with someone completely smashed. And the thought of what might have happened literally made him sick to his stomach.
Kurt burst into tears again as they pulled into Dalton's lot. Blaine parked his car and unbuckled his own seat belt and then Kurt's before circling around to the passenger's side and opening the door. He cupped Kurt's cheek in one palm and wiped away a few stray tears with his thumb.
"Shh, it's OK," Blaine promised, continuing to circle his thumb in soft, soothing motions across Kurt's face. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, trying to collect himself as Blaine pulled him out of the car and kept an arm around his waist. He guided him across the lot and to the side entrance to their hall.
One of the privileges of being a resident adviser was access to the hall's main set of keys. Blaine had managed to bribe them away from Wes for the night just for the purpose of sneaking back into Dalton. Usually, checking in at the front desk wouldn't be a problem. But Blaine was pretty sure Kurt's current condition would raise quite a few questions.
He unlocked the side entrance and walked Kurt down the hallway slowly. Kurt was still stumbling around, his eyes unfocused and red. Blaine tightened his grip around Kurt's waist and tossed the set of keys under Wes's door as they passed.
Blaine dug Kurt's keys out of his pocket and unlocked his door, opening it. Kurt went in ahead of him, immediately throwing himself onto his bed and curling up into the fetal position.
"Kurt," Blaine called softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his shoulder. "Come on. You have to get dressed for bed."
Kurt sat up slowly, wincing like it physically pained him to do so. Blaine crossed to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer, throwing Kurt a pair of blue satin pajama bottoms and a matching shirt. He stayed facing the wall as Kurt struggled into the clothes, throwing his old outfit into the hamper and missing. Blaine picked it up for him and sat back down on the bed next to Kurt.
"I shouldn't have taken you tonight. I'm sorry."
Kurt shook his head and fell back down onto the mattress, grabbing Blaine's hand. "Stay?" he asked sleepily.
"Of course," Blaine replied without a second thought. He gave Kurt's hand a quick squeeze before letting go to rummage through his drawers again. He grabbed a well-hidden pair of flannel pants and a t-shirt before disappearing into the small bathroom to change. He filled out Kurt's shirt, but the pants were down past his ankles and covering his feet. Just like his pillow, his clothes smelled of Burberry. But instead of shampoo, he could smell laundry detergent. He smiled privately at this before folding his own clothes and placing them on the shelf in Kurt's bathroom.
When he went back out into Kurt's room, Kurt was resting on his side and staring off at the opposite wall. New tears were sliding down his cheeks and dripping from his nose.
"Hey," Blaine whispered, approaching the bed and gently pushing Kurt back so he was pressed against the wall. Blaine squeezed into the small space next to Kurt's body, pulling the blankets up to their shoulders to cocoon them. "I'm here."
Kurt curled in against him, resting his forehead against Blaine's chest. He breathed in and then out. His still reeked of alcohol, and Blaine immediately regretted not asking him to brush his teeth. He ignored the stench and just pulled Kurt closer, smelling the expensive shampoo he had detected on his pillow earlier that night instead.
Kurt adjusted again, his lips brushing against the side of Blaine's neck. Blaine tightened his hold around Kurt and gasped, shocked at the sudden rush he felt in the pit of his stomach. He squirmed slightly and closed his eyes.
Any teenage boy would have had that reaction, he told himself. There was no need to read into that little jolt of pleasure that shot through his body. Kurt was attractive and, well, Blaine couldn't help the way his body reacted. He was also pretty sure he would've felt that way with any boy he was in bed with. Nevertheless, he pulled his hips back so they weren't flush against Kurt's. The other boy didn't seem to care or notice. Soon enough, he was breathing softly and evenly.
Blaine had every intention of heading out to his room once Kurt fell asleep, but he could feel himself already beginning to doze off. Besides, he had tested his luck too many times tonight and he just knew a hall monitor would find him this time. And if word got around that he was sneaking out of Kurt's room at night, wearing his pajamas and – well, Blaine was wearing his pajamas, so he supposed he had unconsciously decided to stay anyway.
He pressed his forehead against Kurt's and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of a body next to him. He suddenly felt a little sad this was only a onetime thing and only acceptable in cases of severe intoxication. Blaine immediately started to wonder if Kurt was actually OK with Blaine being this close while Kurt was drunk and he was sober, but it wasn't like he was going to try anything.
Kurt, still sleeping, smiled a little. Blaine couldn't help but smile himself, burying his face into Kurt's pillow and drifting off.
Blaine woke up to Kurt groaning and stretching next to him. It was quickly followed by a yelp of pain.
"Uggh," Kurt growled. Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt covering his face with his hands and angling himself away from the window. "The sun."
Blaine slipped out of the bed and grabbed a bottle of water from Kurt's mini-fridge, opening it for him and placing it on his desk.
"What do you remember?" he asked, taking a seat in Kurt's desk chair.
Kurt eventually sat up, blinking at Blaine against the sunlight. He slowly pulled his blankets up to his chest and rubbed at his temple. "I don't remember anything…was I roofied?"
Blaine laughed out loud at Kurt's bluntness and shook his head, leaning forward to pass him the bottle of water. "No. You were just really drunk."
"Never again," Kurt sighed, grabbing a bottle of Advil from his bed stand. "Should've learned my lesson the first time."
"First time?"
"Don't ask." Kurt shook his head and popped one of the pills, downing it with water.
Blaine watched as Kurt got out of bed, grabbing his toiletries and heading towards the adjoining bathroom. Blaine was a little curious as to why he wasn't asking for any details about last night, but maybe he simply didn't want to know.
"Kurt?" he called, following him and stopping once he reached the doorway to the bathroom. He leaned against the frame. "If you want to talk about last night, I can fill you in."
Kurt grinned at him and winked. "I'd rather not know how you ended up in my bed and wearing my pajamas, thank you very much."
"Mmm," Blaine hummed. "Maybe someone was crying and asking me to stay."
Kurt blushed and turned away, smearing some of his moisturizer on his face and running the tap water. "Wow. OK. Now I really don't want to know."
Blaine laughed gently. "How's the headache?"
"I feel like I'm going to faint and explode at the same time."
"Ouch," Blaine replied, raising his eyebrows. "In that case, an emergency coffee run is in order. Are you game?"
Kurt nodded eagerly, rinsing off the moisturizer. "Let me finish up here and we'll head out."
Blaine nodded and backed out, closing the bathroom door to give him some privacy. He crossed over to Kurt's bed and began straightening the sheets and adjusting the pillows. He caught a familiar smell and recognized his own cologne mingled in with the bedclothes. And, wow, the mixture of their scents was a little fascinating. He grabbed the pillow they had shared and pressed it against his nose before feeling like a creep and throwing it down again.
Best friends were not supposed to do that. Best friends were not supposed to do any of this.
What's to come: Four: Another boy works his way into Kurt's life just as Blaine begins to sort out his feelings. Five: Blaine is put on the backburner until something terrible happens. Kurt won't say why he suddenly needs him.