I just want to say: thanks for any and all kind reviews! i absolutely adore them! (i feel cheesy...) but seriously-ahem-i mean siriusly they really make my day. i feel like im saying too much... oh well, im tired...
and i want to add: this chapter was supposed to go up this morning, but wen i had it all typed up and clicked save, this thing popped up saying "program has stopped working" so i had to retype half of it :(
ANYWAY, i hope you like it!
The library was very different from when she was imagining being in it. This was probably due to the fact that it was dark, and no one was expected to be in there this time of night. The only source of light was coming from the moon outside the window.
She didn't care. She immediately headed toward the back of the library, almost at a run.
She stopped in the "W" section, and sat down at a desk near the window. Then she realized that she had stopped in the "W" section, because she subconsciously hoped a book would jump from the shelf and land in front of her, titled "What to do now."
She had no clue what to do. She barely even knew what just happened.
How could it have happened? How could she have let it happen? Despite how much she had always loathed him, she never thought Cormac could be so awful.
Also, what he said about hurting Harry and Ginny- could he really? What if she only told Harry or Ginny, then Cormac would never know she had told anyone. But could she tell either of them? Could she speak the words? She wasn't even sure she could think the words to herself.
But what if she needed to tell someone? Surely this was something a person was supposed to go to a doctor for. Or police.
And what about her parents? If anyone found out about this besides her closest friends, then her parents would surely be the next to know. They would make her talk about it. She would never be able to look them straight in the eye again!
It suddenly hit her- her life was completely different now. What Cormac had done could never be undone; what he had taken, she could never get back.
After a moment, she realized her cheeks were wet. She had been crying.
She hated that he the power to make her feel like this, to make her break down like this. She felt so helpless at the moment. She wanted Cormac to feel the pain he had made her feel.
The sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts.
She held her breathe, as panic raced through her veins. For the first time since she got there, she felt like an idiot for going to the library. She should have just gone up to the Gryffindor tower.
As the footsteps came closer, she quickly stood up, and grabbed the largest book she could find.
Standing perfectly still, and waiting for the one making the footsteps, she held the book up, high above her head, ready to send it flying into someone's face- if needed.
The footsteps got louder and louder, and she gripped the book so hard, her knuckles turned white. She guessed that the owner of the footsteps was around the "O" section, which was not that far.
Then she regretted holding the book in the air, maybe she should've hid instead. But by the time she had made this decision, it was too late; the person had made their way to the "W."
Then Hermione saw who it was, and dropped the book in surprise.
It landed on the floor with a loud "BANG," which made the person jump, "Bloody hell!"
It was Ron.
"What was that all about!" he asked her when he saw who it was that had dropped the book.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were someone- Nothing! None of your business!" When she remembered the current state that her and Ron's relationship was in, she pointedly looked away as she sat back down at the desk.
"Why are you here so late at night?" Ron asked her. It seemed he was going to try and take advantage of the short moment that she had let her guard down.
"I could ask you the same question." She replied, glaring at the graffiti on the desk in front of her.
"I'm . . ." he paused and looked around, ". . . looking for a book."
"So what are stalling for?" she started picking at the doodle of a heart etched in deeply enough to have carved the wood in the desk, "Can't even handle that simple task? Or did you not know they were all in alphabetical order?"
"I'm only stalling 'cause you scared me with your bloody book!" he snapped.
"Well I think you've recovered by now, so just go find your stupid book and leave!"
"Whatever," he responded icily, turning to walk away, "I hope you enjoyed your date."
At that moment, everything Hermione had temporarily forgotten came back to her in a rush. That, mixed with all of Ron's cruelness for the past few weeks, was too much for her. Tears glazed her eyeballs and it suddenly became harder to breathe. She put the back of one hand over her mouth to hide any quivering of her lip, and the other hand was used to quickly wipe away the single tear that escaped.
None of this went unnoticed by Ron, and at the sight of it, all the coldness inside him melted, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean- I meant it genuinely! I really do hope you enjoyed your date!"
Hermione didn't answer; she was afraid if she opened her mouth she would burst into tears and loud sobs. Instead she just turned and faced out the window.
Ron stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. He knew he supposed to be in a fight with her, and that it would have been a lot easier to just walk away, but he couldn't. Despite the fact that they had not been speaking for a while now, he still considered her to be one of his best friends.
"Hermione . . ." he said slowly, making a decision in his head, ". . . what's wrong?"
She managed to compose herself enough to answer, "Nothing! J-j-just go find your stupid book and leave m-me alone!"
Ron still didn't move. He felt a bit awkward standing there, but something in the pit of his stomach kept him from leaving.
He tried taking on a joking tone, "Oh, come on, Hermione, the date couldn't have gone that bad, to be crying over it . . ."
She didn't turn around, or even make any indication that she even heard him.
"Unless," he continued, "he, like, hurt you or something . . ?" He was only half serious when he suggested that, hoping it was complete ridiculousness to think that was why she was crying.
But when he said this, Hermione stopped sobbing for a moment, and he could see that she lowered her chin. A tear dripped to the hem of her skirt.
"Oh my god," Ron said quietly.
Hermione quickly turned around and stood up, "I have to-"
"He did, didn't he!" Ron looked horrified, disgusted, and angry.
"Just forget it!" she cried, attempting to run past him, but he grabbed her arm before she could get away.
"Hermione! Wait! What happened!" he demanded, as she struggled to break free.
"Let-me-go!" with each word she tugged on her arm, trying to escape his grip.
Ron ignored her, and pulled her over to a bench by a table in the middle of one of isles of bookshelves. He sat down, making her sit next to him on his right. He held her left arm with both of his hands, so she wasn't able to get up and leave. It didn't really matter though, for she had stopped struggling by now.
"Hermione," he said as softly as he could, "what happened?"
"I can't tell you." she said shortly.
"Why not?" he swallowed, "You can tell me anything . . ."
Hermione snorted, "Sure I can . . ." she answered bitterly, "Why do you even care!"
"Because," Ron answered, and though his voice remained steady, his ears were turning slightly red, "as crazy as it sounds, I do, actually, care about you."
Hermione sighed, and looked at Ron's hands on her arm. Slowly, not really knowing what she was doing, she reached over and placed her hand on top of his.
Though it was, truthfully, the last thing he ever expected her to do, Ron didn't act at all surprised by this action, and decided to take it as a good sign, "Please Hermione," he tried again, "just tell me. I promise, I won't tell anyone else, if you don't want me to. It'll just be between you and me. Just tell me: did Cormac hurt you?"
"It was . . . worse than that." She could not will her mouth to form the words needed.
Ron's face turned red, "Did he . . . erm . . ." he cleared his throat, "you know . . . touch you . . . or something . . ?"
Hermione turned away from him, answering his question.
"I don't want to talk about it . . ." she muttered.
Ron was silent, and Hermione was not looking at his face.
After an extremely long, drawn out silence, he let go of her arm, stood up, and said, almost casually, "Okay. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kick Cormac's arse . . ."
This time, Hermione grabbed Ron's arm, standing up with him, "Ron! You said you wouldn't tell! You promised!"
"Oh, don't worry, Hermione, I won't be telling him anything. I'm just going to be hitting his face, repeatedly, with my fist."
"He's twice your size!" she warned, "Please! Ron! Just stop!"
Ron did stop. He turned and looked at her, and she let go of his arm.
"Please! Just-just don't do anything!" She begged, "Promise me- right now- that you won't say or do anything! Just completely forget I told you anything!"
He shook his head, "I'm not promising that."
Hermione glared at him, "I knew I shouldn't have told you! You said this would just be between you and me!"
Ron looked at her fiercely, "Hermione, this isn't right! You're the one who needs to tell somebody!"
"I can't!" she practically screamed at him, "You lied to me!"
"No! No, there is no way that you are going to turn this around, and make me feel like I'm the bad guy because I think you need to tell someone!" he looked her straight in the eye, "Either you tell someone, or I will."
In a moment of desperation she yelled, "I lied! Okay!"
Ron furrowed his brow, "What?"
"I lied!" she said quickly, "Cormac never actually raped me! I made it up!"
His eyes widened, as he slowly shook his head, "You . . . never said rape . . ."
Hermione's jaw dropped, and she felt heat rush to her face, "I-I meant-"
"He raped you?" Ron features softened, and he looked even more horrified than before, "He actually raped you?"
Hermione just looked at him, tears filling her eyes, threatening to roll down her cheeks.
"Yeah," Ron said, turning around and starting to walk away, "I'm definitely telling someone."
"No! Please!" she screamed again, catching up with him, and grabbing his arm again, "Please don't! If-if you do, I-I'll never speak to you again!"
"You won't be saying that when Cormac is expelled, and you've gotten the - er - medical attention you need, for your sort of situation."
"Please!" she tried pulling on his arm, but he was too strong for her, "I'm begging you! Please stop! Stop!"
At these words, a mad image came into Ron's head: he imagined Hermione saying these things to an awful, evil, smirking Cormac. Suddenly, all he wanted to do was make the tears running down her face disappear.
He did stop, "Alright," he said, turning around to face her, "I won't tell anyone."
Hermione looked him in the eye, "Promise?"
Ron sighed, "Fine. But I'm still going to try to convince you to tell someone."
"You don't understand," she argued, "I could barely tell you! How am I supposed to tell anyone else?"
"What if I tell them for you?" He suggested, "Or I could at least go with you, so you wouldn't have to go alone."
"It's not that simple . . ." she whispered.
"I promise you," Ron said, "it can't get any worse if you tell someone. It can only get better from here."
She only sniffed in response.
"Come on," he said softly, "You and me-we'll go to Madam Pomfrey. Right now. Everything will be okay." He held out his hand.
Hermione took several deep breathes, and paused for a while, before finally taking his hand.
When she did, Ron pulled her forward to his side, and put his arm around her.
As they walked out of the library, Hermione said, "Ron? Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"What was the real reason you were in the library?"
Ron's face turned red, "Oh. No, it's stupid."
"Come on," she urged, "I told you the truth . . ."
"Fine," he admitted, "I was . . . hiding from Lavender . . ."
"Oh," Hermione replied casually, but was suppressing a smile.
"Yeah," Ron continued, unnecessarily, "She's been . . . pretty annoying lately. I'm starting to wonder if she knows my name begins with an R, not a W . . ."
And, to Ron's satisfaction, Hermione smiled bigger, and gave a small laugh, which was exactly what he was hoping for.
again, sorry it wasnt up sooner, next chapter shuld be up (hopefully) tomarrow. hoped you liked it, please review! thanks!