sorry its been a while, but those last few weeks of school are always pretty intnse.

and now that it is summer, fanfiction will be my #1 priority, i promise.

just to-er-warn you...this chapter has some...pretty heavy...stuff...

After breakfast, Hermione spent that day tracking down all of her teachers, figuring out what she had missed, and what homework she needed to make up. Sprout and Flitwick were easy on her, and told her, telling her to just read the chapters, but she did not have to actually hand in any written homework for those classes. Her other teachers did give her written homework, but it was easy enough to finish before Monday. Snape, of course, assigned her an essay, though.

She was just leaving Slughorn's office, who went on for a long time about the one Slug Club meeting she missed, as she decided the best place for her to work on all of this homework was in the abandoned classroom, that she had really only been in once before. Normally, she'd pick the library, but knew that it wouldn't be totally private, and she still cringed when she thought of the two third years the night before.

She decided to use an abandoned classroom she came across once, that was near the Gryffindor tower.

As she neared it, and it was close to the door, she saw an older Gryffindor boy come around the corner, but didn't think anything of it.

"Hey you!" he yelled.

Looking up at his face, her heart dropped to her stomach as she recognized him as one of Cormac's friends.

Just as she turned to walk the opposite direction, he was next to her, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to turn around.

"You have got a lot of nerve, showing you're ugly mug around here." he grabbed her other shoulder, and pushed her into the wall, next to the door of the abandoned classroom. He seemed to realize where they were, because he looked both ways down the corridor, making sure no one was around, then he opened the door, and shoved her inside. He slammed the door, turned her around, and held her up against it, holding her arms in place, so she couldn't reach her wand in her robe pocket.

Hermione was too afraid and shocked to do anything. She didn't really know what was happening until it was too late to try to escape this boy, whose name she didn't even know.

"I warned Cormac about you," he said, his fingers digging so hard into her shoulders that she would surley have bruises, "Told him that everyone knew you were a rat, a pompous little teacher's pet. And I was right, wasn't I? You squealed like the pig you are! But you're a lying rat, too, aren't you? You just didn't want you're parent's to know how much of a whore you really are. Had to keep up you're precious little reputation for daddy-"

At this, her brain started to work, and she was able to take in what he was saying, "I didn't lie about anything," she said it quietly, yet firm, "Let me go."

"What was that?" he shook her, slamming her back hard into the wall, "What did you say to me?"

She spoke a little louder this time, "I said, Let me go!" She tried moving her arms, but he was too strong.

"No, I don't think I will," he smirked, "I think I want to find out what made you worth all the trouble for Cormac . . ."

Suddenly, everything came back, the pain, the fear, the shame. But this time, her anger took over every other emotion. This won't happen again, she told herself, as she found the courage to do what she couldn't last time, and began screaming her head off.

The boy panicked, "Sh! Shut the hell up! Or I'll-I'll-"

"You'll what? Break my neck?" she snarled at him.

"Yes!" he said, quickly grabbing her throat, "That's exactly what I'll do!"

But this didn't get her to stop. If anything, it made her scream louder. It didn't matter if he did break her neck, she wouldn't go down this time without a fight.

She did have to stop, though, when the boy pushed her to the ground, knocking the wind out of her. He glared at her, "You crazy bitch," he said, as he practically ran out the door, slamming it behind him.

Hermione stayed on the floor, staring at the spot the boy was just standing. Would that have worked a week ago on Cormac? It didn't matter, it was too late now. But at least she was able to scare off his friend.

She sat up, leaning on the wall, and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. It all came back to her. She couldn't do anything except sit there and relive everything. She didn't even notice when the door opened and closed again.

"Hermione?" He was panting. He turned and saw her, "Hermione! I heard- I thought-screaming-?"

Without looking up, she could tell it was Ron, but she ignored him anyway.

"Hermione?" he said again, "Are-are you alright? Did something happen?"

She just stared at the floor. She didn't know what to say, but she already decided she did not want to tell him what just happened. It would probably just lead to another pointless fight, and Ron would just get in more trouble.

"Hermione! Say something!"

She finally looked up at him. He looked as if he was worried for her sanity. "How did you hear me?" she asked.

"What-? So you were screaming? What happened? Are you alright?" he kneeled down in front of her.

"How did you find me so quickly?" she asked, ignoring his questions.

"Oh, well, I was looking for you. But tell me what happened!" he was getting really frustrated.

"Oh, I-um-I fell asleep in here. Started having nightmares. I didn't realize I was screaming until I woke myself up . . ."

Ron sighed in relief and fell back in a sitting position. Then he scooted over to lean against the wall next to her.

She looked back at the floor, glad that he he believed her lie. She swallowed as she hear his voice again. Lying rat. No. This was different.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She nodded

Ron stared at her. He really didn't know much about the connection between nightmares, and feelings, and talking, but he knew he wanted to make her feel better, and comfort her. And he had a small idea of how to go about it.

Slowly, he wrapped one arm around her back, and the other around her knees, so he was hugging her from the side.

"Hermione," he said quietly, "I know it might be hard for you, but you need to let it out. I know you want to tell someone exactly how you feel, I know you want to talk about it . . . and-and I want you to be able to tell me. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything, and I don't want you to feel embarassed, or ashamed. I'm not going to judge you, or anything, I'm just going to listen. I'm here for you."

Hermione looked up at him for a moment, and she could tell by what he was saying, and the look on his face, that he was trying to break down a wall between them. It wasn't a particularly large, or noticeable wall, but being broken down would cause Ron to be in her comfort zone. She wasn't sure if she'd want him there, but in that moment it didn't matter. There was something in what Ron said that caused her to let it all out, and gave her the courage to say what she had been unable to say to the therapist, the doctors, and even her parents.

Looking back at the floor, she thought about it for a moment, trying to pick her words carefully, "He . . . he really hurt me, Ron. I wasn't . . . ready for it. I didn't want it." She waited a moment before continuing, but Ron was silent. Somehow she could tell, though, that it wasn't an awkward silence, because he didn't know what to say, it was a patient silence, as if he knew she had more to say, even without looking at him. "Sometimes I can still feel it. It felt like he was trying to rip my body in half! It felt like he was shoving a large metal pole into me! I hate him for it! I just want him to feel what he put me through!" She stopped for a moment, taking heavy breaths, as anger coursed through her veins. Eventually she calmed herself down, somewhat, "The worst part, though . . . the very worst part, is that he . . . took my virginity. He stole my first time . . . I mean, your first time's supposed to be special, you know?"

She stopped. After a few moments, she did finally look back up at him, to let him know she was done, and to see his reaction to her words.

She was surprised to see that he wasn't red in the face, or looking awkward and uncomfortable, like he'd rather be somewhere else. Instead, he just looked sympathetic, the slighest bit angry, and pained.

She looked back down at the floor. His reaction didn't change how embarassed she suddenly felt. It was as if she only just realized everything she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so detailed-"

"No. Hermione, I really do want you to feel comfortable talking to me," he said.

This did actually make her feel better.

"And-and I don't think you should have to consider it your first time if you don't want to," Ron continued, "Forget the technicallities. He hurt you badly, but he didn't steal your first time, at least not without your consent. That doesn't have to be it. And your real first time will be special if you want it to be."

Everything that Hermione said seemed to push out all the fear and embarassment in Ron. It was replaced by courage and the need for her to know this, and not feel how she was feeling. Though, he couldn't help but feel a little like Luna at the moment, saying things that no one else would.

Hermione sniffed. She couldn't even begin to explain how Ron's words affected her. It was crazy how much better she just suddenly felt.

"And another thing I need you to know," Ron said before he lost his nerve, "you are . . . so amazing . . . and so beautiful, that any man should have to work their arse off just to get to touch you-hell, just to look at you. He didn't, and he'll rot in hell for it. You deserve the best of the best, Hermione, and he was merely pond scum. He's lower than what the best use to wipe with. You're so smart, kind, talented, brave . . . I just . . . I just need you to know that."

Hermione looked up at him. He was looking at her knees, away from her face, and his face was now red. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words would come out. Instead she just closed her mouth and swallowed, looking away.

Ron was so close to her, she could feel his heart beating. Finally, he said, "Er . . . Hermione? Are . . . so . . . are you . . . er, alright?"

She couldn't figure out how to tell him how much everything he said meant to her. Instead of answering, she turned, wrapped her arms around his stomach, and leaned into his chest. Tears started coming out of her eyes again. All this crying was becoming quite infuriating for her.

Ron imediately moved the arm that was around her knees, to around her shoulder, and started stroking her hair. Before he could say anything, though, Hermione muttered, "We wouldn't even be friends if . . . if . . ."

"Sure we would," Ron insisted, "Just not as soon. I mean, you're friends with Harry and Ginny, and you couldn't just avoid me forever. I wouldn't let you."

"But what if I hated you? What if I grew to really hate you?" She said, not really thinking.

Ron stopped stroking her hair, "You . . . you could never really hate me . . ." he said, though not sounding as confident as he meant.

Hermione paused, "No . . . I couldn't."

With that, he went back to stroking her hair.

i hope it doesnt seem like it ended too...oddly? i dont know...

please tell me what you think!