Wow, I honestly didn't think I'd get this one out today. I've been a little slack on my writing the last week. Though you needn't worry as I only have one more chapter to go after this one and I will finish it if it kills me.

Anyways once again I'd like to thank Natsume-chan (wow I don't even have to look at my emails) for reviewing. I appreciate your words of encouragement and thank you for taking one minute out of your schedule to write the review. :)

It's amazing. This story is definitely the longest piece of writing I've ever written. We're way over 20 000 now folks!

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Disclaimer: Jin! Hiei! Do I own you guys yet?

Both: You wish!

...Damn...

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing and a minutely graphic scene towards the end. And slight amounts of boy love! Don't like, don't read.

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Chapter 7: Hide and Seek of the Heart

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Yusuke made it to the hospital in record time. He flew across the terrain, his feet barely hitting the ground. He dodged around other people on the sidewalk, jumped over car hoods and even once knocked some prissy girl who was applying her hot pink lipstick. Once he reached the hospital he sprinted through its blindingly white halls ignoring the shocked and angry cries of nurses and doctors alike. He took the stairs three at a time; he did it all. Just to get back to Hiei. When he reached the plain wooden door to the fire demon's room he didn't even hesitate. He threw open the door and barged inside, desperate to share his newly realised feelings with the shorter man. If he'd stopped to think about it he might have found it funny. After all those years of denial he now readily accepted the love he felt for Hiei, even though he himself recognized his emotions for what they were only a half hour ago. Now it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest if he didn't confess to their existence as soon as possible. But as he entered the small, barely furnished room his chocolate eyes were met with a scene that left him frozen with fear. Inside were his two red haired friends, Kuwabara and Kurama. Kuwabara was leaning against the wall with a haunted look in his small grey eyes. Kurama sat on the sill of the open window, the gentle breeze pulling through long scarlet hair and slowly drying the few tears that had slipped down his cheeks. Even the kind faced Doctor Lee was there, but there was no smile on his face…His expression was a grim one, his blue eyes hard and his lips pressed into a thin line as he sat on the bed…The empty bed…

Yusuke's scared brown eyes desperately scanned the room for any sign of the missing fire demon. He was unsuccessful…Hiei was gone.

"What happened?" Yusuke asked fearfully. "Where's Hiei?" Doctor Lee let out a heavy sigh. Silence reigned for a long moment.

"We don't know." The brunette finally replied his voice quiet and his eyes looking everywhere but at the dark haired man.

"What do you mean you don't know?" The hanyou growled as anger rose to mix with the terror inside him. He couldn't believe that this was happening…Not when he had been gone for only a few hours, not when he'd finally come to terms with what he was feeling.

"Yusuke…" A feminine voice cut into his thoughts. Chocolate eyes met helpless emerald. "Hiei ran away." The youko whispered, his tone melancholy. Yusuke's world seemed to shatter; the razor sharp shards fell down like rain around him. Why? Why now?

Ignorant of his friend's inner turmoil the red haired man continued.

"Kuwabara and I left the room not long after you stormed out. He, to get something to eat, and I, to alert Doctor Lee of Hiei's return to consciousness. When we returned the window was open, Hiei's things were gone and he was nowhere to be found." Kurama explained. Yusuke slumped down on the floor near the room's entrance, his horrified expression hidden behind the hands he placed his head in.

"If…If Hiei ran away…Damn it! He could be halfway across the fucking country by now!" He moaned through his fingers. He rejected the voice in his head that said that his fiery love could be dead by now, unable to handle such heart breaking thoughts. He appreciated that neither of his friends brought it up either.

Doctor Lee frowned in confusion at the raven haired youth's strange pessimism.

"Yusuke don't you think that's going a bit far?" The brunette reprimanded. "Hiei only escaped an hour or two ago and in his condition I doubt he would have gotten too far. The police will find him. They've been searching for a while now so I'm sure they're getting close." He said, though his words made him pause. I still can't understand how someone as injured as Hiei could slip past every single doctor, nurse and patient in the hospital without being sighted once, he thought with a slight puckering of his brows. Two disbelieving snorts and a loud bark of laughter interrupted the doctor's musings. His pale blue eyes rose to glare at the room's other occupants.

"Shame on you! Have some faith! In both your police force and the retrieval of your friend." Doctor Lee snapped. Hard chocolate eyes snapped up and ensnared his own.

"Please Doc, give us a break. We know Hiei better than anyone, – not that that's saying much mind you, – and if there's one thing we know it's that if Hiei doesn't want to be found, then you can bet your ass that you're not gonna find him!" The raven haired man explained with a dark expression settling on across his features. The look disturbed the brunette on the bed. Where was the strong, caring man he had seen before? Where was the man who ran to the hospital with his friend bleeding in his arms and refused to let him die?

He asked Yusuke as much.

"He knows when something's a lost cause." Yusuke replied, turning away from the doctor. It didn't show on his face, but the other man's words really hit home. Where was he? The man who would do anything for his friends and never gave up even after the game was over, where had he gone? It was a fair question, Yusuke thought. Why wasn't he out there looking for his friend? Why hadn't he sprinted back out the room the second he knew that he was missing? A horrific and bloody image floated through his mind and he grimaced. That's why…Because I don't want to be the one to find him…Not like that…Not again…

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, bringing the detective out his reverie. He looked over and stared right into the once again smiling face of Doctor Lee. Wait, smiling?

"Go Yusuke. Don't let your fears of what you may find hold you back. You don't know for sure that Hiei is dead." The brunette said comfortingly.

"Your friend needs you." Yusuke felt a small smile spread across his lips. Hiei needs me…I can't fail him.

Clad in his regular black clothes, Hiei sprinted away from the hospital at a speed that would have put the V8 Supercars to shame. He ran and ran even though there was no specific destination in his mind. He didn't care where he wound up anymore; he just felt the desperate need to escape; to get away from the hospital, from his friends and most importantly from Yusuke.

The fire demon's heart constricted at the thought of the dark haired hanyou. Every time he blinked he saw the other man's cruel, hate-filled glare. The harsh words he had spat whispered into his ears on the soft breeze. The dagger in his heart twisted painfully. Ruby eyes narrowed at nothing in particular as he tossed around the idea of ripping his own ears off in an attempt to silence the horrible voice that replayed over and over in his mind.

Hiei pushed himself harder, ignoring his still weakened body's protests. He didn't care if he hurt himself. He was in so much pain already he doubted he would notice even if he fell off a cliff and was smashed to bits on the rocks the would surely be waiting below.

Now there's an idea… The fire demon thought, half serious.

Suddenly agony blossomed across his torso causing the raven haired man to stumble. His vision blurred momentarily and he hissed through clenched teeth. He limped over to the nearest tree and propped himself up against its rough trunk. A calloused pain gripped his upper stomach and came away red with blood. Damn, guess I was wrong, Hiei thought as he pulled up his already filthy black tank. Underneath his washboard abs were slowly being painted crimson as blood dripped from his now ripped stitches in a steady stream. The short male swore. How annoying.

Tormented ruby eyes flickered around the area.

"A park…the park…" He whispered.

Indeed, the small fire demon was standing in one of the more abandoned areas of the park he had been in the night before. The same vanilla flowers blanketed the ground in small creamy patches and the trees were tall, their leaves reaching out to provide us much shade us possible. Hiei slowly pushed himself off the tree he had been using to support himself and grunted as pain shot through his abdomen. Staggering, he made his way forward, weaving unsteadily through the trees until he reached a large clearing. About ten meters into the field was a tall dead tree. Its trunk was grey and its branches were completely bare. Hiei smiled gently as he reached out and ran his palm against the leathery bark.

Perfect.

Summoning his strength the demon leapt from branch to branch until he found one he liked. The dark haired man sat down on the thick wood and leaned his back against the trunk, settling in to wait. As time passed his hazy mind slowly but surely drifted to a certain raven haired youth with beautiful chocolate eyes, a perfectly sculpted body and a voice that sent shivers down his spine…Not to mention a brash, cocky attitude that pissed him off to no end.

Yes for a while now Hiei had been in love with his friend and the leader of their little group, Yusuke Urameshi.

It had taken him a long time to realise his feelings and even longer for him to accept them, but once he did he found he couldn't stop thinking about the object of his affections. But with these feelings of love came an inadequacy unlike anything he had ever felt before…But the fire demon suffered alone, knowing that the hanyou would never return his feelings.

Hiei felt the hot sting of tears in the corner of his eyes and for the first time in his life he let them fall without fighting. For the first and last time he would cry…For all he had, all he had lost, and all that he would never know. He cried…

"Go Yusuke. Your friend needs you." Those were the last words Doctor Lee said before he kicked the three young men out of the hospital. Grumbling, Yusuke led the way out through the automatic sliding doors at the main entrance. Once outside he stopped with a heavy sigh. Things were not going well…

"I don't get it! Why would he run away? I…I thought maybe he'd stay…" Yusuke said quietly, realizing the second the words escaped his mouth just how stupid they were. This was Hiei they were talking about. Hiei was well known for running away from his problems. I should've known better, the dark haired man thought. He turned his chocolate eyes to his friends and caught the scarlet haired youkai behind him giving him a piercing look.

"Hiei seemed rather…upset after that little scene you caused in the hospital room earlier." Kurama said. "I realise that he seems somewhat incapable of emotions but we all know that isn't the case…And what you said; how you said it…It really hurt him."

Yusuke felt bile rise up and burn his throat. How could he, of all people, have so easily broken through their friend's stoic façade? Sure Hiei's mask had already been cracking around the edges, obvious in the way the fire demon been interacting with them all recently. And it was all too possible that he had cast it aside completely during the suicide attempt…The dark haired man thought hard about it, and the more he did the sicker he felt. I'm a horrible fucking person, Yusuke thought with a grimace. His friend, the man he fucking loved, had tried to kill himself and all the hanyou could do was scream at him…If he was in that same situation how would he have felt? God he felt like he was carving his own heart out with a butter knife…

Yusuke shook himself. He didn't have time to mentally torment himself. Instead he used his guilt to steel his resolve. It was just one more reason he had to find Hiei. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. He was going to end up in therapy after this whole situation, he just knew it.

"We'd best be fucking quick about this then." Yusuke said darkly. Kurama bowed his head in silent agreement.

"Yes, we should most definitely make haste. I recommend splitting up; we'd have an infinitely better chance of finding Hiei that way."

"Mm. Good idea." The raven haired hanyou agreed. "I'll take that direction," he continued, pointing his thumb over his shoulder, "and head towards the outer city."

"Okay. Kuwabara you should search the inner city, and I'll run out and check the surrounding suburbs. If we haven't found him in two hours' time then we should meet back here and discuss where to go from there." The red headed youko said. Barely sparing a nod for his companions Yusuke turned on his heel and ran off down the street.

Yusuke searched and searched. He looked everywhere for the missing fire demon. He checked roofs, streets, parks galore; anywhere and everywhere the shorter man could possibly be, even if he knew that he wouldn't be there. Just in case. Because if there was one thing Yusuke Urameshi took a hundred and fifty percent serious it was his friends. He did his best to think positively and not imagine the worst (and most likely) scenario as he combed the city's outskirts for any sign of his friend. He managed to keep it up for an hour; an hour of fruitlessly running around, before finally stopped for a break. He came to an abrupt halt in the middle of a busy street outside of a grocery store and leant over with his fists resting on his knees, panting for breath.

"Where…the fuck…is he…?" The dark haired man cursed breathlessly, earning himself a dark glare from a mother as she and her young daughter passed him on their way into the store which he pointedly ignored. Where is he? Yusuke had searched his designated area thoroughly and still he had discovered neither hair nor hide of the small fire demon. Thinking of the whereabouts of his friend started something niggling in his brain telling him there was something that he was forgetting. The hanyou ignored it. He rose to full height and took off running once more. As he continued his hunt the niggling persisted, getting stronger and stronger the more time that passed. After ten minutes of the constant harassment he halted once more. With a growl that transformed half way into a light sigh Yusuke finally gave in. Slowly a memory was pulled to the front of his mind.

The beautiful park with its misshapen cream coloured flowers…Happiness; he had finally realised his feelings for Hiei…He was leaving, walking out of the park and towards the hospital where he'd believed the one he loved still waited…A smell…Something coppery, sweet and salty and bitter all at the same time…

Blood…? Yusuke wondered. Why would I have picked up the scent of blood at the park…?

Realisation hit him like a ten ton oil tanker. Could it really be…? Could Hiei really be there? The raven haired youth couldn't say for sure but he had a strong feeling that he'd find the fire demon there once more.

The hanyou spun around and dashed off through the streets towards his destination. As he ran a desperate prayer breathed almost silently passed his lips.

"Please…Please be okay…Don't let me find him like that…Not again…"

Yusuke slowed as he entered the park grounds. He walked past the picnic area and playground and continued into the deserted reserve. He meandered through the trees and across the empty fields of flowers, stopping to sniff the air every so often. A soft breeze rustled the leaves and pulled gently through Yusuke's hair. The faint scent of blood drifted into his nose, reminding the young man of rusting metal. He knew the source of the coppery liquid had to be somewhere nearby, though sadly his sense of smell wasn't as strong as a lot of other demons' and he'd have to rely on his other senses to find the little fire demon. So the dark haired hanyou walked slowly through the park, his eyes flitting about trying to spot anything out of the ordinary.

"This is stupid…" Yusuke whispered to himself as he searched. There was no guarantee that the blood was coming from Hiei. It was more likely that some kid had scraped his knee or a cat had hunted down a bird. It could be anything else, anyone else. He should probably just go-There!

Suddenly something red and gleaming caught his attention through a gap in some trees. Before he could even think, the young man rushed forward. He was a mere couple of feet away when his foot kicked an uplifted tree root that sent him tumbling through the foliage. With a breathless "oof" the detective hit the ground hard, knocking the precious air from his lungs. Slowly Yusuke picked himself back up and looked around. He was in a large clearing, a field of green and ivory that was surrounded on all sides by forest. Some meters into the glade stood a single tree; dead and barren of leaves it stood proud and tall. Something glistened on the silvery trunk and the dark haired youth stepped closer. A thick trail of dark red blood trickled down the vertical log, eventually flowing down to taint the soil around the base of the tree. Apprehension filled Yusuke and he struggled to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Slowly he allowed his gaze to follow the dark river up the knotted and leathery trunk until his chocolate eyes landed on its source.

There, among the desolate branches, a male with spikey raven hair and porcelain skin was slumped heavily against the trunk of the dying tree. Yusuke's expression changed from trepidation to horror. For the person in the tree was none other than Hiei. The little fire demon's eyes were closed and his face slack as his crimson lifeblood flowed from his limp body and dribbled down the trees silvery bark, staining all it touched ruby red…

'I am near you
You don't see me
Can you feel me?
I'm closer than close…

Does it hurt?
Does it burn?
Do you know
What you've lost?
Are you scared of the dark?

Now that you're gone
All that remains
Is the ghost of love
Deep in my mind
I hear the chains
Of the ghost of love!

You are falling
Down underneath
You'll be crawling
Lower than low…

Can you sleep?
Can you breathe?
When you know
What you've done?
Tell me where will you run!

Now that you're gone
All that remains
Is the ghost of love
Deep in my mind
I hear the chains
Of the ghost of love…!

You were flawless
Cruel and thoughtless
And all that you left me
Is the ghost of (love)…

I'm fading
I'm barely breathing
Can't hold on
I'm dying
I must be bleeding
Won't be long.

Now that you're gone
All that remains
Is the ghost of love
Deep in my mind
I hear the chains
Of the ghost of love…!'

Ghost of Love by The Rasmus.

There we go! I know the chapter isn't quite as interesting as some of the others but I felt that it was necessary. I do hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to the final installment of A Reason to Live. Especially since I left it at such a juicy cliff hanger! Lol I'm so mean...to both my readers and the characters I borrow it seems.

Please continue to read and review! (I really like reviews ^^")

And if anyone knows of a good beta reader I would appreciate it. Right now the only people going over my stories before I publish them on the site is myself and...well myself. And I know that even though I go over it at least three times before putting it up I sometimes still miss mistakes. That and I can't always trust my own judgment on how the characters and scenes play out. So yeah...