Frodo and Sam
"Now look here, Sir!"He turned, facing up to Faramir with all the courage that he could muster.
"Don't you go taking advantage of my master because his servant'sno better than a fool.You've spoken very handsome all along, put me off my guard,talking of Elves and all.But handsome is as handsome does we say.Now's a chance to show your quality." Sam, The Two Towers
#1: Leave
"Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee." When Gandalf spoke those words, he could not have known that Sam would live his life by them.
#2: Mr. Frodo
"You don't have to call me 'Mr. Frodo', Sam." Frodo was sitting on the garden wall that Sam had helped his Gaffer build when he was ten, and eating a strawberry from a bush Sam had tended to himself.
"I do, Mr. Frodo. It wouldn't be proper, like. You know how hobbits talk so." He smiled at the hobbit, twenty years old and only three years his senior. "Get off my wall."
#3: Home
It breaks Frodo's heart to think that Sam will never see the Shire again, never get married and have children that he would father so nicely, all because of him. But at the same time, there's a little part of him that knows that, if the end has to come, there was no one in the world he'd rather die with.
#4: Birthdays
Sam turned thirty-five while they were wandering through Mordor. They didn't notice, because days had begun to blend together long before the Fellowship took leave of each other. But if he had been in the proximity of a famously large Shire birthday cake, with its wishing candles, he would have wanted nothing more than to see Frodo smile again, because that Ring was too damn heavy for one tiny person to carry alone.
#5: Relief
During the tense months where Aragorn was just hoping Frodo and Sam were alive in that forsaken territory, all he could feel was relief that Sam had chosen to follow his master, because with Sam around, Frodo would have someone to live for.
#6: Eagles
When the eagles come at the End of All Things, they pick Frodo up first, or try to. In the end, both took off together, because Frodo wouldn't, couldn't, let go of the person he owed his life to.
#7: Children
"I wanted to name him Frodo." Sam explained, sitting in the living room at Bag End and not quite meeting Frodo's eyes.
"I'm flattered, Sam." And he really was, because if he respected and loved anyone in this corrupt, warring world, it was Samwise Gamgee.
Except Sam didn't meet his eyes, and Frodo suddenly became grave, fearing the worst. After all, even young hobbit maidens had lost babies during birth. "You see, Mr. Frodo….Rosie had a little girl."
And that might have been the hardest Frodo had laughed in…oh, years and years.
#8: Injured
After getting whacked in the head by that goblin in Moria, Sam had tried to downplay it, out of reverence to Gandalf's memory, out of unwillingness to cause the Fellowship to slow down because of him, but mostly because he didn't want Frodo to worry.
#9: Capture
When Frodo was captured, he couldn't think about the loss of the Ring in terms of the world, of men and dwarves and hobbits and elves who would die under Sauron's reign. All he could think about was that he'd let Sam down, and he could never make that better.
#10: Music
Sam was much smarter than he let on, and though he was more than happy to hide his talents, even little Pippin, with his voice like a dove, had to admit that Sam's lilting whistle had the energy to brighten up even the darkest mines of Moria.
#11: Belief
Legolas believed in the balance between nature and the beings who took from it. Gimli believed in karma, where good deeds meant a bright future and cowardly, dishonorable ones were bad luck. Boromir and Aragorn both believed, to some degree, in the Gods of man, the Gods who had, supposedly, created all of Middle-Earth. Gandalf believed in human nature, and was constantly weighing Might vs. Right, though he still believed that there was something, somewhere, that was making sense of the chaos in the world.
The Shirelings had no religion of their own, no weekly meetings to pray or cry or shout, just gardening and hospitality and morality and a sense of duty. And if Sam believed in anything, it was Frodo.
#12: Losing Battle
"Do not die on me, Samwise." Aragorn breathed, but Sam was so tiny on the hospital bed, burned and bloodied and thin and dirty. He pumped the chest, right above where he knew the heart was. "You will not die on me!"
Sam couldn't die, because if (when) Frodo awoke from his own near-death experience, Aragorn could not bear to explain why he'd fallen asleep with Sam at his side and woken to find him suddenly beyond his reach.
#13: Cloak
Maybe Frodo will never understand why when he wakes up Sam's coat is draped over his shivering body, and Sam will never tell him it's because, between the two of them, he'll always think that Frodo needs it more.
#14: Phobia
"Why didn't you just tell me, Sam?" Frodo's voice was kind, soft, considerate as he knelt next to Sam, his arms all but around his friend, his partner.
"I couldn't, Mr. Frodo." Sam looked up at the sky and winced, then jumped, "It just isn't natural for a grown hobbit to be afraid of a little thunder."
#15: Snow
Pippin was the happiest when he found out the use of snowballs half-way up the first of the Misty Mountains, but Sam will never forget Frodo's face, standing in the center of a valley of white, a look of pure joy written in every one of his features.
#16: Protector
Neither could quite pinpoint the moment when Sam first became Frodo's minder, but Aragorn thought it had something to do with Prancing Ponies and Dark Riders. He still remembered the sight of Sam, tiny fists raised as if he had any chance of a fight, and probably, even knowing the odds, willing to have a go anyway.
#17: Herbs
Sam called it gardening, Legolas called it botany, but Frodo was glad to see that his friend had someone more than three feet tall to talk to on the journey.
#18: Ale
It was after a long night in the Green Dragon that Sam admitted he liked Rosie Cotton. "Do you think I'm mad for going after her?"
"Well, it's only you and every other man in the Shire." Merry pointed out.
"You have as much chance as the next hobbit." Pippin added helpfully, before Merry glared at him, reminding his cousin that he was still too young to be drinking in public, and shouldn't he just keep his mouth shut?
"Well, I think it's great, Sam." Frodo took another swig of ale, which he'd always regret later. "I think my biggest crush was on Uncle's old book from the elves." And he hadn't been entirely joking, but that didn't mean the others had to laugh quite that long.
#19: Gone
It doesn't matter that he already has three children, when Rosie loses her baby and nearly dies herself, it's Frodo who is there to comfort Sam, to remind him that not everything is his life is gone, yet.
#20: Haven
When Sam finally landed in the Grey Havens and saw Frodo waiting for him at the dock, foot swinging lazily, pipe in his mouth, book tucked under one arm, Sam couldn't do anything but smile, because this had to be the best life, or death, ever got.
#21: Proposition
The offer sits, cold and heavy in the air, and Frodo has to turn away from the King, from Strider, his brain running a thousand miles a minute. Him, a diplomat? Him, an insignificant Shireling, helping a whole country, a whole world, repair itself? But slowly, as he turns back to Aragorn, the realization comes that Sam would never stay in a land of rocks and sand, and he didn't want to be anyplace that Sam wasn't.
#22: Stay
He did think, for a long time, about staying in the Shire. Frodo had, after all, survived five years after the final breaking of the Fellowship. He could have left for the white shore right after the journey, and in fact the only thing that kept him in that world was the familiar, comforting hand on his shoulder, begging him to stay for a little while longer.
#23: Sober
Pippin didn't have a long enough attention span to be interested in seriously drinking. Merry was perhaps the least indulgent of the four, mostly because he felt overly responsible for his young cousin, and always made sure he was sober enough to walk Pippin back home. Frodo liked to watch Sam drink himself into oblivion while trying to impress Rosie, because when he put the bigger hobbit to bed in Bag End to sleep off the effects, he gets to listen to Sam mutter love poems to a certain bartender in his sleep.
#24: Stars
"What do you think is up there, Sam?" Frodo pointed at the star field arrayed far above the smoke and fumes of Mordor.
Sam glanced upward and shrugged, "Begging your pardon, Mr. Frodo, but I don't think that's for us to know quite yet, if you follow my meaning."
Frodo regarded his friend with a new measure of curiosity and respect. "Perhaps you're sight, Sam…"
#25: Silence
Whenever Sam disagrees with Frodo, he gets quiet and doesn't quite meet Frodo's eye. Frodo just wishes that Sam would tell him what's wrong, so he can do everything in his power to fix it.
#26: Journey Home
It was Sam's utter faith in their continued existence that got Frodo up the mountain in the first place, so when the younger hobbit stares at him, eyes serious, exhausted, and says, "I don't think there will be a journey home, Mr. Frodo." Well, that about breaks his heart.
#27: Lonely
Sometimes, when Sam is off looking for something --- anything --- to eat, and Frodo is left to watch over their packs and camp, he gets so lonely his throat closes up. It's not just that there's no Sam, it's that there is nothing alive, nothing.
And suddenly Sam is there, holding him, reassuring him that he is not completely alone, and it's suddenly easier to breathe.
#30: Injured
Frodo lost a finger, broke three ribs, six toes, four fingers, and sustained more cuts and bruises than he cared to count. Sam split his foot opened on a submerged rock, got a gash in his head deep enough to become an everlasting scar, and was stabbed in the back by an orc-blade. When they woke up in that white, white room, with Gandalf at their side, they both suspected that they were dead. After all, who were they to deserve to live?
#28: Good
"There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."
That's what Sam said, but what he meant was he needed Frodo to stay alive, because how could he ever go back to the Shire without his best friend?
#29: Broken
No matter how many times Aragorn reassures him that Frodo would be okay, Sam cannot believe it until he sees his master jolt back to life, his own name issuing from the other hobbit's lips.
#30: Empathy
Frodo doesn't know how Sam does it, but every time he's frightened, or upset, or lonely, Sam's hand is always there, his eyes always asking him if he is okay.
#31: Leadership
Whenever the Fellowship looks at Frodo and expects him to make all those huge decisions --- decisions too big to lay on a hobbit his size --- Sam could only look on, fume, and wait it out, hoping that Frodo makes the right decision, hoping they'll live through the next step.
#32: He's Dead
"He's dead." For some reason, Frodo feels tears come to his eyes, even though the last time he saw Boromir the man had tried to take the Ring from him by force. But knowing that his younger brother was mourning him, knowing that he wasn't out there, fighting, helping…somehow, that made some small part of himself shrivel up. And a familiar hand was once again inside of his.
#33: Miles
They measured the distance by the changing of the stars, of the scenery, of the feel of the land beneath their feet, but that didn't change the fact that the miles were slipping by too slowly, that their tiny legs weren't taking them far enough fast enough, that they may not make it in time. But they had to get there, eventually, because Sam knew that if the Ring wasn't off of Frodo's neck sooner rather than later Frodo would eventually get far ahead of him, behind him, to a place Sam couldn't follow.
#34: Betrayed
He doesn't dwell on the day when Frodo turned to him, told him to go home. He doesn't like to remember the sinking feeling in his heart, the cold detachment in Frodo's eyes. But his master wasn't in his right mind, so it wasn't really a betrayal. Still, that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't think about it, that they never talk about it…
#35: Three's a Crowd
"I don't trust him."
"He wants the Ring, that's all he cares about."
Well, that was one thing that Sam never wanted to be right about.
#36: Funeral
"It wasn't your fault, Frodo." But Merry's voice was tired, as if he'd repeated this line too many times, to Strider, to Gimli and Legolas and Gandalf and Faramir. "It wasn't your fault."
But standing over Pippin's grave, Frodo could only think that if he'd gotten to the mountain sooner, this never would have happened. He could never justify splitting up Merry and Pippin, who were both so alive, so vital, so energetic when together. Apart…well, it was like he'd cut out a half of his friend by killing their cousin.
Later that night, as they walked home in the dreary fog, Frodo reached for Sam's hand in the dark. "Don't ever leave me, Sam."
#37: Conversation
Gimli is proud to say that he knows very little about other races, hobbits included, but even after months of traveling with them, he still cannot understand how Frodo and Sam can have an entire conversation in just one glance.
#38: Smile
When in Mordor, Frodo smiles so rarely that Sam has taken it upon himself to do anything he can to make sure he keeps that expression, and if that means reciting a poem in the voices of all the members of the Fellowship…well, so be it.
#39: Dreams
For those terrible nights in the caves, Sam had dreams of Frodo, always of Frodo, of him being stabbed in the heart, bashed through the head, crushed in a troll's giant fist. He tells himself it's only a dream, but he knows he's just lying to himself.
When they begin the battle beneath Moria, Sam is always within reach of Frodo, just in case, and when an axe comes whipping at the hobbit's head, he doesn't think, he just reacts.
Aragorn patches him up, tells him that worse has happened to people slaying their first orc, and Sam just keeps quiet, never mentioning that if he hadn't managed to kill the orc, he would have taken as many blows as was necessary to keep Frodo alive.
#40: Hostility
"Tell me where he is or I swear I'll make you." Sam shoved Sting under the orc's face, eyes and tone hard, meaning every word. He'd do whatever it took to find Frodo, who was here, somewhere, tortured, injured, sick, maybe dead. He'd do anything. He had to.
#41: When
They began making a list throughout their journey. When they get home, they'd sleep for a week, and never leave the Shire, or they'd travel to Rivendell and learn elvish, or meet up with Gimli in the halls of Moria. They'd make sure that Merry and Pippin remembered how to laugh, and that Aragorn marries Arwen. They'd eat a thousand strawberries, a hundred bushels of apples, and all the meat they could find, not to mention quaff at least thirty gallons of ale.
When they got home, they would never know exhaustion, or hunger, or pain. When they got home, they'd be happy.
#42: Insults
"They're so small." If Sam had a pint for every time he heard those words, he'd be a very drunk man. But he could stand them for longer than most. He wasn't proud enough to fight every time he heard an insult tossed his way.
But he was too loyal to let such things be said against his master. He stumbled away from a fight against four of Faramir's men, bruised and bloodied but with his dignity and that of Frodo's intact.
#43: Memories
Sometimes, when Golum was messing with both their heads and the sun was shining too hot to look straight towards the horizon, it seemed as if there was no more worth in the world, nothing except their memories of a better past, a happier past.
#44: Hallucination
He's an old man, an old hobbit who believes he can still ride horses and hoe a straight line. When he tumbles over the edge of one of the walls of the citadel, there is no one around to hear one of his ribs puncture his lung to rest directly above his heart.
A hand comes down on his shoulder and he looks up at Frodo, sadly smiling. "My dear Sam, what mess have you got yourself in this time?"
"I missed you." Sam manages to croak, not realizing the full truth of the words until he speaks them aloud.
Frodo touches his hot face, covered in a sheen of sweat. "Shh…" he warns, then smiles broader, "I've missed you, too."
"You shouldn't be here." He doesn't want to move, doesn't want to breathe in case it makes Frodo leave, back into the Grey Havens or his own mind. Desperate tears well in his eyes, though he can't tell if they're from pain or from relief.
"But I am."
"Am I going to die?" For some reason, Sam isn't upset at this notion. He'd been ready for death since Rosie had been taken from him a year ago. His children, all of them at least partly grown, were taking care of each other and the gardens, leaving Sam to visit Gondor, as he'd been trying to do for years. He'd heard Legolas and Gimli would be there, that they had built a boat that would sail to the Grey Havens in a month. He'd been waiting to go on that boat, wanting to see Frodo so much.
"Not yet. Not if I can stop it."
Blood was slowly covering Sam's tunic, Frodo's hand. "I want to stay with you, Mr. Frodo."
"And I, you, Sam, but not yet. Not now. We'll see each other soon, and have forever to spend together."
Sam smiles at the thought, then gasps in pain as something inside him slips, puncturing, ripping, tearing.
"Hold on." Frodo murmurs, suffering as he watches Sam suffer. "They're coming. Hold on."
"I. Am. Trying."
Pippin is the first one at Sam's side, agile even pushing a hundred. Aragorn is nearby, summoned by the cries of a concerned hobbit. Neither questions the smile of Sam's face, his repetition of a single name. Frodo. He'd always wished for Frodo.
"I'll see you soon, Samwise Gamgee." And then Frodo disappears, again.
#45: Cry
It doesn't matter if they'd been walking for two days, if he was sore or injured or exhausted, every time Frodo cried, Sam would curl up next to him and try to make everything seem alright.
#46: Friendship
It started when they were children, and Sam would teach him the names of every plant under the sun, even if he had to make up half. Frodo, for his part, would read poems until Sam knew them by rote. It quickly evolved into lunch and tea time and supper spent together, with Frodo seeking Sam out at any job he happened to be at. Evenings were spent at the Green Dragon or traversing the mountains with Frodo's energetic cousins. Somewhere in those years of being together, they had become each others' best friends.
#47: Moment
Looking out over the citadel, at the beautiful sunset glowing over the towers and the shouts and cheers of the victorious men below, Frodo thought it couldn't get any better than this, at this moment, but then he remembers that he's alive, and his cousins and Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli and even Gandalf are alive. He remembers that Sam is alive, and suddenly the moment gets even better.
#48: Climb
It didn't matter that it took them thirteen months from start to finish, or that Frodo had to give up his finger and most of his sanity in the process. The world is still humming along, Sam is still alive and whole, and that is worth the climb.
#49: Green
When they get back to the Shire, to Bag End, the first thing Sam does is promise that, before he does anything else, get married or even return home, he would make sure that Frodo's garden is green again, and nothing Frodo says will get the stubborn look off his face.
#50: Love
"I'm glad you're with me, Sam, here at the End of All Things." They put their heads together, hiding from the fire, the lava, the noise, and Sam realizes that he's happy, too, because he loves Frodo too much to let him die alone.
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