Chapter 4

The last days have been really stressing for the detectives of the SVU and so for her attorneys, they finally had gotten solid evidence on the perpetrator but also they got to discover the main people involve in child pornography operation that had been running for years, the worst part was that doesn't ended there, because they also found out they later sold the children for prostitution or organs trafficking.

Even though evidence was more than enough to convict all of the implicated on the case, Alex couldn't stop feeling guilty for not stopping that baseness before, the trial wasn't over yet but she already knew those bastards were going to jail at least for the rest of their rotten, twisted lifes; however she felt powerless for not being able to help all those countless kids whom had suffered in the dirty claws of those merciless men.

That kind of thinking was what occupied her mind all these days, but now things were not as before, now she wouldn't allow anyone to her broken again, now she was afraid that maybe she would be tell she couldn't handle SVU anymore, but above all, her biggest fear was being pull once again into WPP. She knew many of the witnesses would be pulled into the program, so, she started to feel uneasy about maybe being in need going in once again.

She needed to talk to someone, maybe Elliot, maybe Olivia, maybe Fin and Munch, even captain Cragen; but even though they were her friends her proud wouldn't allow her to go with them for comfort, she couldn't let them deemed her weak; to anyone it may sound ridiculous that the all mighty Alexandra Cabot was afraid of something, but in her mind it all make perfect sense, so she decided to talk to someone who could understand her but mostly only one who wouldn't judge her.

Sure white collar wasn't as stressing as SVU was, but Casey still had to work late especially because all of the shylocks and sharks that were being processed for the last years crisis at wall street, in fact it was almost unbelievable for the red head that those crooks were out there running companies and playing with other people's savings.

She was deep in thought when an opening door startled her out of her work, immediately she lifted her sight and really got surprised to see Alexandra Cabot walking into her office, the woman look totally depleted, so Casey just motioned her to take seat.

The room was completely in silence, Casey only offered Alex a simple yet comforting smirk, suddenly it was Alex who spoke, "Working late? I guess it never gets easy right".

Casey didn't expect something so obvious coming out from Alex's mouth, she never really got to know her well, but from what she always had heard the attorney in front of her was a pretty accomplished person, so she decided to blame her earlier greeting on the hour and exhaustion, and she just got along with it; "Well I think you must know better than me since you're again with special victims" Casey said adding a sly smile.

The blonde couldn't contain a smile, "The first one in all day", she just thought it was hilarious how Casey could turn something sad into something silly just by her way of talking, "Blunt but funny, not blunt just straightforward".

Just before Alex could answer something Casey spoke up again, "So what brings you up to my humble dwelling at this hour,? I was almost leaving" the ADA asked looking straight into Alex's blue eyes.

"Maybe I was right earlier, definitely blunt". She shove back those thoughts and answered to the question lingering in the air, "Well Casey I just wanted to return the politeness you offer the other day", now it was Alex's time to show a sly smirk, sure she needed to talk to someone but she always had been haughty and so sure of her own self that she would never allowed herself to show a bit of neediness, and sure it wouldn't be to someone as arrogant and proud as Casey Novak.

"Well, being that the occasion let me invite you a cup of coffee" offered Casey, saying it more like an order than a polite invitation.

"Guess I don't have any other option" Alex answered with a smile on her face.

"Just give me a minute and we'll get the hell out of here" said ADA Novak while started gathering her stuff to leave.

As they were leaving the building they could feel the cold embrace NYC offered them, and Casey was the one who broke the ice "So, how are things going at special victims?"

Even though Alex remained calmed on the surface, deep down she knew this was the true reason of her visit to Casey, and now that Casey had touched the topic she started to feel uneasy; "You know how it is Casey, despite the evidence is enough to convict those scums, I get to think that maybe there's still more to find out".

Casey looked over at Alex with a sad smile on her face, she was right she knew pretty well those kind of thoughts and feelings, and it didn't matter she had been all those years at special victims bureau she couldn't find the right words to say, so she just gave Alex a padding on her back.

"Sometimes I get these strange feelings that none of this is working, arrests, convictions, trials, you named it; 'cause at the end of the day the damaged is already done, still more victims to come, more rapists to catch, I mean is a never ending cycle and no difference is done. I thought going back to SVU would be somehow like coming back home but I was so wrong". Casey was taken aback by Alex's sudden outburst.

She decided she just couldn't stand there hearing Alex, and so she took her turn to speak "There was a time I think I was making this city better by putting white collar criminals away, then the time arrived for me to go to SVU, once there I noticed how hard it's to deal with living victims, traumatized kids; it took me a long time to adequate to that, but then again I realized all cases were different, and as soon as I got to understand that, I decided that every single action I would take, would be for justice for the people, justice for the victims; I know for sure I wasn't changing the world, but at least I have always thought somehow I helped those victims change their lifes, sometimes we the people won, sometimes not; but the important thing is knowing you did your best, maybe you don't feel that way, but you can't blame every failure on yourself ".

At hearing Casey's words Alex felt something deep inside her stir, she wasn't able to quite figured it if she felt good or bad over the other ADA's speech but she felt okay knowing she wasn't the only person feeling that way.

They continued walking to the coffee shop in relatively comfy silence, just listening to the sounds of the city, Casey paid for both cappuccinos; they just keep walking to subway station having a light banter about nonsenses.

When they reached the station, both women prepared to part ways; "Thanks for the coffee Casey" Alex said smirking, "Anytime, goodnight counselor" added the red head in a funny manner, "Night to you too Casey" Alex replied while both attorneys waved goodbye.