Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This collection is mine, as is the bartender/Cid's as-of-yet-unnamed love interest, haha. Enjoy!
..:-X-:..
209 – What Can't Be Unseen
For kikofreako
Tifa had just returned to Merlin's house when Cid was opening a full bottle of whiskey. The other alcohol bottles littered about made a path to where Leon was sitting on the couch, pale as chalk and looking like he'd been sick. He was staring forward, catatonic.
"What happened?" She asked.
The bartender from Traverse Town popped out from behind the liquor cabinet with a bottle of bourbon. "Hi, Tifa."
Tifa nodded over to Leon, who was staring at the wall. "Is he okay?"
Cid lifted the bottle of whiskey. "He will be after this."
"Did something happen?" Tifa asked, walking over to Leon.
No blood, no open wounds, and no trauma that she could see, except for his eyes. He looked—horrified. The woman handed her the whiskey and Tifa took it, looking at her.
"Seriously, should I be worried?" She asked, waving a hand in front of his eyes and getting no response.
"I think he's being dramatic." Cid commented, "It's a completely natural act by two consenting adults—"
Leon abruptly pointed at Cid to shut him up, eyes not moving from the wall. Tifa balked.
"You'd think he'd learn to knock by now." Cid went on.
Tifa shuddered, "He walked in on you two—"
"No, no!" The woman shook her head. "We're a little more discreet than THAT."
"But not much." Cid snickered.
She swatted his arm and he looked to Tifa. "He walked in on Aerith and—"
Leon made a nauseated noise and Cid talked over him. "Aerith and Cloud…" he looked to Leon. "Not saying the name ain't gonna erase the mental image."
Tifa covered her mouth with her hand and tried to hold in the nose of horror, embarrassment, and laughter. She looked to Leon, who was chugging whiskey, to Cid and his—girlfriend?—bum-buddy?—both of whom were shaking their heads.
"Here?" She gestured, because this would be the last time she visited Merlin's house if that's what was going on.
"No, this is just where he ended up." Cid said.
"And they've stayed away?"
"Would you want to go talk to someone who walked in on you doing the horizontal tango?" The bartender quipped.
Leon topped off the bottle. "You two are absolutely no help…y'know that?"
Tifa caught the warble in his voice and looked flatly to Cid. "Your solution to everything is alcohol?"
"I don't hug." Cid said, lighting a cigarette.
"I'm not drunk…or if I am…I'm not nearly drunk enough." Leon got to his feet, wavering slightly.
Tifa looked at him. "It can't have been that bad." He glared at her and she lifted her hands. "Or it was that bad."
He wordlessly picked up the bottle again. "I'm going to the Residential District."
"I'll go with you," Tifa added, "To make sure you don't walk in front of a bus."
He offered no protest, so she said goodbye to the other two and walked out with him.
They had just entered the new residential district when she couldn't hold back anymore.
"I think you're overreacting—"
"Yeah." He said, the glazed look in his eyes gone like a flash.
She blinked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He shrugged, pulling a 180 degree change from the mess five minutes ago.
Tifa paused, and then smacked his arm. "You big faker! You're not traumatized at all!"
"Of course I'm not." He said indignantly. "I've seen worse than that. Granted, still grossed me out, but not that messed up."
"Then why—"
"Now Aerith will get off my back about patrol this week."
"You're a creep sometimes."
..:-X-:..
210 – New Up-and-Comer Named Candy
For kikofreako
"That was the absolute worst undercover job ever." Tifa said, stomping into Merlin's house, coat held tightly about herself.
Cid and Cloud looked over from where they were working on the computer. Aerith was playing a board game with Yuffie, though the younger woman looked more interested in Tifa's sour mood.
"Something go wrong?" Aerith prompted.
"The target that I was supposed to get information from was a disgusting creep." She answered, "Leon had to go undercover just to go in with me."
"To a strip club?" Yuffie smirked. "Where is he anyway?"
"Sneaking in the back." Tifa gestured. "We didn't want to risk getting out of costume until we got back here."
"Well, man alive, how awful could his outfit be? You're dressed like a dominatrix." Cid remarked.
Before Tifa could respond to that, Leon walked in, attacking his face with a hand towel, still wearing the dark green dress. They had had to cover his scar with make up to be convincing, and when he lifted his face out of the towel, half of it was still covered. Seeing him without a scar had been odd.
He looked around at the rest of the Restoration Committee, who were all staring at him. He exhaled heavily. "Son of a bitch."
Aerith and Yuffie burst out laughing, Cid's cigarette fell out of his mouth. Cloud just looked horrified. Tifa sighed and took off her coat, because her leather suit and thigh high boots had nothing on Leon in a dress around this bunch.
Cid stubbed his cigarette out with his boot and lit up a fresh one. "Did you at least get the information?"
"Please tell me you're wearing a thigh holster." Yuffie snickered.
"Shut it." Leon grumbled, tossing the file to Cid and grabbing up the bag with their normal clothes in it. He stomped into the back room to change.
As soon as the door closed after him, Cloud pointed at Tifa and then to Aerith. "That is NOT funny."
Aerith covered her mouth with one hand. "It's a little funny."
"No, it's not." He shook his head.
Tifa smirked, untying the tall boots to give her feet relief. "Cloud, you aren't still sour about that time we—"
He pointed at her, eyes large. "Shut it! Don't ever talk about that again. Ever."
She snickered and tugged off the boots while Aerith laughed at Cid's confused expression. Cloud shuddered and Tifa took pity on him, not pushing the taunting any further. She retrieved her own clothes and went to change out of the horribly uncomfortable costume.
By the time she returned to the living room, Yuffie had been forced to take Cloud's patrols shift so that she would leave Leon alone, and Cid was outside smoking. Aerith winced at the marks on Tifa's shoulders from where the leather costume had dug into the skin.
"I can't believe you two took that mission." She shook her head.
At the table, Leon was drinking what looked like straight vodka at what looked like Cloud's insistence. It also looked like Cloud was playing therapist, because Tifa heard him mutter, "You will never live this down. It will never go away."
"How old are they again?" Tifa snickered, "Honestly, I wasn't nearly so disgruntled when I had to go undercover as a man."
Aerith smiled. "We do tend to give them a hard time." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know how frail the manly ego is."
Tifa shook her head, "Maybe I shouldn't have called Leon 'Candy' all night."
Leon looked over at her. "That was not okay."
Now Cloud was drinking too. "At least they didn't make you wear a wig."
Leon snorted into his vodka at that and Cloud frowned at him.
"You realize." Tifa said, sitting beside Aerith across the room. "That if they ever actually become friends, they will band together and get us back for this."
"No they won't." Aerith winked, "Because I still have the pictures for blackmail."
..:-X-:..
211 – Roses are Red
For kikofreako
"So does Tifa hate me?" Cloud asked out of the blue.
"Ask her." Leon replied, signing a few reports at the work station.
"She told me she didn't."
"Well, there you go." Leon handed off two of the forms and picked up the other two files, leaving the paper room.
Cloud followed him. "What does that mean?"
"It means I don't speak Estrogen. Talk to her yourself." Leon said, walking into the weapon specialist department. "And stop following me."
"She told me to leave her alone." Cloud slowed and glanced across the office to where Tifa's combat department was. "Who's that?"
The soldier standing outside Tifa's locked office stood out like a sore thumb; not because of his goofy grin and nervous manner, but the large bouquet of roses in his hand. The marking on his uniform designated him as a weapon specialist: one of Leon's interns.
Cloud looked to Leon, "You have your interns give her flowers?"
"No." Leon said flatly, opening his own office door. "That's Private Andrew Potter. He has a…crush on her."
Both men looked over at the recruit.
"So why is he still here?" Cloud asked.
"You mean why haven't I fired him or why haven't I killed him?" Leon asked.
"…Both?" Cloud clarified.
Leon paused, shrugged, and walked into his office. "He's harmless. He's a good soldier. Does his reports on time, executes missions efficiently…He's my McCallister-in-training."
"Did McCallister ever give Tifa roses?"
"Not to my knowledge."
"So you're okay with this?" Cloud lifted an eyebrow.
"Don't you have dark corners to stand in?" Leon replied flatly, and then glanced over at Potter again. "Roses are romantic, but her favorite flowers are tulips. So they aren't having long conversations. Plus…I trust her, so I know she's not messing around. Third…he's scared of me."
"Scared of you?"
"Job requirement." Leon replied.
"What about Tifa? What does she think of—"
"See for yourself."
They both looked out of Leon's office across to where Tifa had returned to her office. Potter turned into a blushing moron, rambling and presenting the flowers to her. Tifa's eyes lit up as she took the roses, though she said something seriously to him.
"Looks like she's telling him to stop." Cloud said.
"She's told him that at least once every week for the past month." Leon said. "He's stubborn."
"You're not creeped out by this?"
"If she's not creeped out, I'm not."
"And you're not jealous or worried?"
"No, I'm not paranoid. I trust her."
Tifa unlocked her office and Potter made his exit with a quiet goodbye.
"He's at least more respectful than those idiots I had to fire for staring at her and making crass comments about her." Leon remarked.
"I don't know, if some creeper was giving Aerith that kind of attention, I'd be doing something about it."
"Cloud…go away…" Leon sighed.
Cloud frowned and stepped out of Leon's office. As he did so, Tifa opened her office and let out a cry of surprise. He looked over to see a flood of flowers in her office: in vases on the floor, on the desk, on all the file cabinets. Every surface in her office was covered in tulips.
He deadpanned and looked back into Leon's office. "Subtle."
Leon just fluffed his newspaper and lifted it to block Cloud from view as he read.
..:-X-:..
A/N 210: This is supposed to be follow-up revenge on Ditty 109 in Chapter 4. The title is actually a quote from that ditty.
That's all folks for the prompts! It's been a lovely ride, and everybody gets super-special-awesome potato casseroles for sticking with this collection, submitting kickass prompts, and leaving wonderful reviews!
There will be one more update to round it out to a nice 40 chapters. This one will be a full length one shot to wrap up the collection. I will try to get it posted soon!