Combusting Hearts

Chapter 9

Images and shapes surrounded me in the dark, chasing me through the dark abyss. I was running again, but I couldn't see what I was running from. Everything was black a pitch, no light anywhere to guide my way in this hellish place. Although, through the blackness, I could hear the sound of streaming water.

Having no other alternatives, I decided to follow the sound. Eventually, I came upon the small stream. It was bright, glowing a hue of brilliant blues. When I looked down at it, I could see my reflection shinning back at me, though it was a younger me. The one staring back at me was my 12 year old self. As I stared down at myself, I could see my once long brown hair falling over my once hazel eyes. Though, I was no longer that innocent little girl that I once was.

Instead, I was a powerful, destructive young mutant woman. I was a girl without control.

The sound of giggling whispered in my ears, the words "Mommy" and "Daddy" coming to my ears.

I shot up in my bed in a cold sweat, my breathing uneasy, and uneven. I needed to be around someone, even if it was currently like 1 o'clock in the morning. I didn't know who, and I really didn't care as long as it was someone. As I got up out of my bed, I stared at myself in the mirror, taking in my reflection. Red eyes, shoulder length dark hair and red streaks, all of this stared back at me. It was almost an eerie feeling to be honest, it was almost hard to recognize myself at times. So as I stood there staring at myself, I debated who to try and wake. Who could I possibly go to at this time of night? There was no way in heck that I was going to try Gambit right now, at least not this time, that was just out of the question. That left only Logan and Kurt, though for some reason, I was drawn to Logan at the moment. I didn't know why though. I guess Kurt would have to wait til next time, then Gambit, if he was lucky.

So, popping my head out of the door, I looked down the hallway, seeing no one around. I sighed quietly as I closed my door behind me, slowly making my way, walking to where I knew Logan's room to be down the hall. Luckily, his room was only a few rooms down. I felt bad when I saw him laying there quietly, asleep from what I could tell. I thought about leaving and just forgetting about it, but the feeling in my chest wouldn't let me. It tightened around my heart painfully, aching for help and reconciliation, even if nothing was done verbally I still needed that feeling.

Not wanting to wake him though, I sat on the floor against the side of his bed, pulling my knees to my chest quietly. My mind continued to run ramped as I set there, not knowing what to do. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I could hear the bed shifting, the sound of him putting weight on his arm, and then following after his voice. I knew he was awake now, but I didn't move from my spot.

"What are you doing in here kid?" he asked, moving to sit up, the springs of the bed creaking a bit as he did so.

Quietly, I peaked my head up a bit to stare at him, trying to get a hold of myself and think properly. I figured it would be best to tell him the truth though.

"I woke up…and can't sleep," I whispered, glancing over at him.

He sat up a bit more, moving his feet over the side of the bed, and coming to sit down beside me on the floor.

"I'm sorry for waking you…" I said quietly. He just shook his head.

"I couldn't sleep anyway. Been laying there for a while before ya came in actually," he explained.

"Oh…" that was really all that I could think to say.

"So, you needed someone to talk to, huh?" I nodded my head slowly to his question.

"I can talk to you right?" I asked, wanting to make sure.

"Of course," he said, gazing down at me.

I sighed quietly and rested my head on top of my knees, looking out at nothing, but the darkness of the room.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever…done anything so bad…that it seems to follow you wherever you go?" I asked quietly, trying to keep my voice from cracking as I spoke.

I watched him go silent for a moment, thinking about different things as he sat there with me.

"What do you mean by bad?" he asked carefully.

I sighed, turning away from him, my eyes looking elsewhere.

"Have you ever…hurt someone that you cared about…and then realized…that you couldn't take it back?" I asked, looking down at my hands. I could feel the heat running through them as we sat there.

"I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of kid," he explained, "I've even killed people," he told me.

That was my breaking point.

"So have I…" I whispered faintly, trying to keep a grip on my emotions, but it didn't work very well.

Logan thought back to the last time he found me crying, the pieces slowly falling into place. He gave me a sympathetic look, placing his arm around my small shoulders, and pulling me close to him.

"Your parents?" he asked slowly, already knowing the answer before I even nodded my head.

I could feel tears slowly building up as I thought about it. Thinking of the looks upon their faces before they died because of me. I could remember the shock and the fear before they died.

"How long have you been holding this in?" he asked, looking down at me as I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Since I was 12," I whispered, closing my eyes.

Not really sure what to do, he turned to me, a question on his mind.

"You wanna go see if there's some ice cream downstairs?" he asked, a small smirl on his face.

I stared at him for a moment, thinking about it, and for some reason I liked the idea.

"Okay," I said, nodding my head in agreement.

It had been so long since I've had ice cream, I nearly forgot what it tasted like. The mere flavor of chocolate and vanilla ice cream was astronomical in my opinion. The way that it glided down my throat, cooling it, and soothing the onset soreness that had been coming on. It made me happy to say the least. That was a major feat for food to accomplish with me.

Unfortunately, I soon found myself scrapping at the remains of the ice cream in my cup, pouting when it was all gone. Logan would have given me another scoop or two, if it weren't for what time it was. But, I suppose that Logan knows best I guess. Besides, I didn't want to end up with a stomach ache or anything like that.

"Hey Logan?"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up from what was left of his Dr. Pepper ice cream float. He had his spoon sticking out of the side of his mouth, much like one of his normal cigars. I still don't understand why he smokes those though, even if he has the ability to heal, it's still bad for your health. Plus, the smell BAD! I mean, have you ever been on the receiving end of one of those things? The smoke from it is like toxic gas, putrid and vile in all forms of the word.

"Is ice cream your answer for everything?" I asked his curiously, tilting my head to the side a bit for effect.

"No," he said.

I snapped my fingers in disappointment.

"Rats, and I had really hoped that it was. That would have been awesome," I explained, smiling a bit. He just laughed upon hearing this, a deep chuckle coming from his chest.

"You know kid, you're something else," he said.

"Yeah, I know," I yawned, covering my mouth. Fatigue was starting to take over, but I wasn't quite ready to try and go back to sleep yet. Upon seeing me yawn, he grabbed my cup and placed it in the sink with his. After that, he grabbed me, and tossed me over his shoulder. I laughed as I hung on his shoulder.

"Time for bed kid," he said, moving to leave the kitchen.

"But I'm not tired yet," I whined, causing him to stop and sigh.

"Fine," he said, walking into the other room and tossing me on the couch. He watched as I bounced a few times, before the cushions finally held me still. "We'll just turn the T.V. on and see how long you can stay awake then," he said, smirking at me.

I gave him a tired look when he did this, only imagining what he'd possibly turn on. When he turned on Cartoon Network, I nearly laughed.

"I thought you kids liked this stuff," he said with a slightly cocky tone.

I laughed and shoved him as he went to sit down on the couch, lifting me up a bit by the back of my shirt to sit down. I poked his leg as he sat there, purposely trying to annoy him. He just smirked and propped his feet up on the wooden coffee table, throwing my head up a bit since it was laying on his leg. I was just too lazy to move, so, he was just going to have to deal with it.

"So, I'm a pillow now, am I?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

My response to his humorous question, was me turning and patting his leg a few times, pretending as though I were trying to fluff a pillow. Once I was satisfyied with my 'fluffing' I made myself comfortable, my eyes gazing up at him. We both laughed as a result of this.

"You really are goofy kid," he said, grabbing a hold of me and giving me a noogie.

I squirmed, stifling a laugh as I pushed against him.

"Logan!" I squealed, shoving him. He just laughed, before letting go, allowing my head to fall back onto his strong leg. "You're strange," I yawned, turning a bit. "I still don't get…how you can keep walking around like this…when so many things have…happened," I spoke between yawns.

He looked down at me, thinking about what I said. He thought for a moment before speaking.

"You just have to keep movin' forward kid, that's all you can do," he told me, letting his arms rest on the back of the couch.

"But…it's…hard," I whispered, letting my eyes fall closed with another yawn.

"Life is hard kid…you just have to stand up and live it."

I only heard part of what he said though as my mind wandered off. I never knew that Logan could be such a comfy pillow. As I laid there though, I could feel him moving around a bit, probably trying to get more comfortable. How he could get even remotely comfortable with me laying there like that was beyond me though, but he seemed to manage it somehow as he remained on the couch with me. I was surprised at how understanding he's been. The feeling of having him around was a comforting thought to me, helping me relax a bit more. Logan was actually starting to feel like an older brother to me, and I liked that, since I had never had any siblings of my own. It was nice, feeling that I at least had someone that I could turn to, even in the middle of the night when everyone is supposed to be in bed, asleep and dreaming.

Ok, I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter? Please REVIEW and let me know what you thought? I've really enjoyed the feedback that I've been getting, and can't wait to see more. So, let me know what you thought, it helps me keep my stories rolling and in tact. I hope everyone enjoyed the time between Elaine and Logan. Chapter 10 should be up soon. Thanks everyone. Enjoy. :)