Chapter 13

Just after stepping down from the train, Casey dialed the blonde's number, however the call couldn't be done, Alex's phone was off; the red head was desperate, she needed to talk to her, ask forgiveness, amend mistakes; but right now she wasn't even able to find Alex.

Casey was almost running on her way to the DA's office hoping to find a certain blue-eyed, nevertheless she was disappointed when she found no one there, she started to grow impatient about Alex, she couldn't call her nor found her; suddenly she remembered the SVU squad, perhaps they would know about the attorney's whereabouts.

"Stabler", answered with a very formal tone Det. Elliot Stabler; "Hi Elliot, it's Casey Novak" replied the woman; "What a miracle Casey, you never called after Catherine Harrison's case, so how have you been?" she wasn't in mood for greeting, so she just went to the point "I'm kind of hurry right now Elliot, I'm looking for your ADA, any idea where she might be?" the detective wasn't expecting that, he guessed it was work related, "She was here this morning, she mentioned something about an arraignment at noon though"; it might look as a good lead however it was already five o'clok, "Well, Thanks Elliot" she answered sounding a little defeated; "Sorry, wish I could help you some more" replied the man; "Don't worry it's fine, besides it's not that important, take care" was all the attorney said before hanging off.

Now she had run off of good ideas, she kept calling to her cell and home and still no answer, she had absolutely no idea where Alex could be, she was thinking on going to the blonde's home and wait till she appeared, that was the only idea left; nevertheless amongst that void of despair, a clerk from Alex's floor approached Casey who was still outside the blonde's office; "Excuse me miss, are you looking for ADA Cabot? I've seen you stood here for a while", she was startled by the young men voice calling her "Yes, I got some issues to attend with her", she replied hoping to get some info about the attorney; "Well in that case, she got called to judge Taten's chambers about some warrant, that was almost an hour ago, it may take some time maybe you can wait for her however I don't know if she's coming back, or if you lend me your business card I would hand it over to her when she arrives"; Casey was relieved about finally knowing Alex's whereabouts, but she couldn't believe that the clerk didn't recognize her as a fellow ADA, "Rookie or maybe he's just too polite"; nonetheless het thoughts came out as "Thanks, I would come later", now she was on her way back to the court.

In her anxiety, Casey thought taking a Taxi would be the fastest way to the court, but reality was she was stuck into traffic just a couple of blocks away from the courthouse, she was getting totally despaired, so she paid the cabbie and decided to make her way running to court; "I should start riding my bike back", on her race to court she noticed how long the blocks really were and especially how much it hurts running on heels, however after pushing herself over the limit she finally arrived to her goal; she was completely faded away and the courthouse steps look much higher than they've ever been, and there was still a long trail to judge Taten's chambers; but any of that mattered, certainly it wouldn't stop the restless Casey Novak; "It's the last effort" thought the red head attorney cheering herself to continue.

She was half way of the courthouse's stairs, and at that moment she saw at the top of the steps the person she had been looking for a couple of hours; the woman looked battered, tired, overwhelmed, graceful, pretty, radiant, beautiful; Casey hurried up to catch Alex, and when she finally got face to face with her, she wasn't able to shed a single word; on the other side Alex just looked briefly at the red head, and was about to continue her path, when once again she felt a grasp, but this time it was a gently and tender hold on her hand, she could feel Casey's thumb caressing softly the top of her hand, she turned around to face the green-eyed, suddenly Casey was taking her hand to her lips, and she felt the red head's smooth lips brushing gently the skin covering her hand; she noticed Casey's eyes staring intensely at her, pleading her not to leave, soon her eyes weren't longer the ones pleading, now it was her voice; "Please, don't go".

Alex stared sadly into Casey's orbs, she supposed the red head was there because of her letter; however that kiss on her hand arose a myriad of sensations, feelings began to betray her, sadness and happiness both struggling over her reason but mostly over her heart; however at the moment nothing else mattered, she was with the one she loved, and whether it was for good or bad she would treasure that instant.

They had spent a couple of minutes in the same position, Casey holding the attorney's hand and both looking into each other's soul; nonetheless neither of them dared to speak first, maybe words weren't needed or perhaps they couldn't find them; and even though it was only an instant, for both ADAs it felt endless, or at least they wished it was.

Finally Casey broke the silence, "Sorry Alex, after reading your letter I realized all my mistakes, there's no excuses, and I had no right to do what I said and did, but I did it because I was afraid, I'm still afraid of getting hurt, it once happened to me, I fell in love but it was unrequited, after that happened I lived an alternate life, hiding from my feelings, avoiding pain, trying to be someone else; and at some point I was successful at that…" it seemed as if Casey was talking to herself, whispering rather than speaking, however Alex could notice the depth dwelling in her friend's words, "….but then things went wrong again, and despite it was hard to start over again, finally I came to terms with who I am, however I still kept hiding from love"; Casey was on the verge of tears, remembering was always a hard thing for her, but this time she wasn't alone; and right now it was Alex the one tendering the red head's hand; "I tried to live like that, going from one woman's bed to another one; but suddenly it all came to a halt, that happened when we started bonding, and I never realized it before, but it was because you started filling all my needs, you made me laugh, you understood me, you made me better; however I wouldn't let myself accept that I was falling in love again, I reacted like a coward and hid, but then we kissed, and it grew hopes within me; nevertheless I didn't have the force to tell you that, on the contrary, when we finally spoke I only reclaimed to you, and didn't even gave you chance to explain yourself; I felt used and conned, I thought you were only playing with me and my emotions, but when I read that letter, I finally understood that I can't run all life, trying to avoid pain and suffering; but at the end I got the courage and dared to tear down my armor, perhaps it's too late but at least I did it; as your letter says maybe it's time to move on, but I wish to tell you that I love you". When the attorney barely finished talking she burst into tears, however this time those tears weren't from pain, this time she cried from happiness, she had finally set herself free.

As soon as Alex noticed the red heads flowing down her cheeks, she hugged her, letting her acknowledge that she wasn't alone anymore; she was touched by Casey's speech, she understand her more than she imagined, she had had those same hard feelings for years, and just like her she still suffered over them; but now she was there for holding her, for not letting her fall. Casey on her side tightened their embrace she rested her head on Alex's shoulder facing her, "Please forgive me, maybe we can't be together any longer, not even as friends, but I least I need to know that you won't be angry with me", just as she finished apologizing, Casey kissed Alex slightly on her cheek; "There's no need for forgiveness, I had never been angry at you and I'll never be", replied the blue-woman with words coming from the honesty of her soul. At this point both were now crying, pouring their souls through their eyes, letting their tears express the rest of their unspoken feelings.

When they finally broke apart, tears were still streaming down their faces; they wish they could kept like that forever, however reality struck back, and now it was time to part away; but suddenly everything seemed to be in place, instead of saying goodbye they came closer to each other, and at last they let their wishes flow; it was Casey this time who closed the gap between them, and once again their lips met, it was a long lasting sweet kiss, no hurries, no roughness, only two persons knowing each other's dreams, feelings and hopes; with every single soft and tender stroke of their lips and tongues, they knew a little more about themselves; in that moment, time detained, and everything else stopped mattering; the defense attorneys passing by, the city's noise, their briefcases now over the floor, Alex family's prestige, Casey's pride, no more victims nor frauds, no more hiding, no more crying, no more suffering, no more fear; right there, in that instant, in between each other's arms and lips, the only thing that mattered was love.

LOASVULOASVULOASVU

This is the end, and thanks to all of you that took some of your time to read and review this, it's really appreciated.

PEACE.