BeforeNote: Wow, you guys are awesome! I've already got faves and alerts, and I think maybe two reviews, but anyways, its motivated me to update faster. So thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

P.S. My sister now knows I write DN fics, so what's the point of hiding it? She calls it "sick fantasies". I call it ideas. There is a difference.

And why the hell won't this thing let me use my own breaks?

"OK, now that I have your attention, we'll start the session."

It had only taken the group about three seconds to shut their mouths and calm down, and now Trish was more than ready to get the hell on with it. The faster they started, the sooner it ended, and she could deal with the next bunch of wack jobs.

"So who would like to go first?" Trish asked, voice totally in her control and without fear. "How about the one who claimed to be 'god'?"

Light's ears perked up as he heard his title, and he crossed one knee over the other, clasped his hands together, and smiled his ugly, ungodly smile. "Thank you for recognizing who I truly am. Its about damn time I got some respect in this place."

"Er.." Trish was kind of speechless at the way that Intense was acting, but figured that this was part of the reason he was in this session anyways. "Please, just give me your name and tell me something about yourself, and we'll go onto the next person from there."

"Oh sure!" Light was beaming, having heard only the first part, because that meant that he would have the chance to brag about himself. "OK, well my name is Light, and I'm perfect."

Ten pairs of eyes rolled in unison at the stupid comment, and Trish's mouth fell open. "That's kind of narcissistic, don't you think?"

"Of course it is. I'm God, after all, and admittedly, I'm an egotistical misogynist who "suffers" from self-righteousness."

Finally gaining back her ability to speak, Trish made words form and flow out of her mouth. "…right. Next, please."

Bored, who was sat next to Light, straightened up in his seat – in a boring manner – and spoke. "My name is Matt, and I'm a gamer." He finished there, and slouched in his seat once again. This was not enough for Uncaring, it seemed, because he nudged Matt in the ribs with a leather-clad elbow, and none-too-gently, either. "Ow ow ok! I guess I also have emotional problems, because I cover my eyes ninety-nine point nine percent of the time because I don't want anyone to see them. People say that your eyes tell everything about you, and that's what I don't want, y'know?"

"Yes, sweetie; I understand," Trish said softly, and she gave Matt a small, caring smile, to which it was not offered back, and to which Uncaring stepped in.

"It's my turn now, and stop staring at Matt like that!"

Trish was startled by Uncaring's cruel tone of voice, and simply nodded her head.

"Right, then. Name's Mello, and according to Sheepy – he pointed to Analyzing – I'm overly emotional. He also thinks I have some sort of inferiority complex."

"You do, babe," Matt said nonchalantly while whipping out a small handheld game, and beginning to smash buttons on it like no tomorrow. Shooting his boyfriend a glare and smacking him upside the head, Mello sat down with a huff and stubbornly crossed him arms. Matt wasn't fazed, and began to drive his button smashing into overkill.

"Oh! Is Misa-Misa next?" So, Stupid liked doubling her name, and screaming, because the whole group had to plug their ears. Not waiting for a reply, Misa continued. "OK, well, Misa-Misa doesn't have any problems, but everyone thinks she's stupid because she's blond."

"It's because you don't use your brain." Thinking had spoken, and Trish immediately dragged her eyes to his slouching figure.

Screw the creepy insomniac vibe; his voice was hot! So sultry and silky smooth, Trish's mind thought of all the dirty little things that voice could whisper in her ear, teasing the outer shell with its soft whispers-

"Are you going to listen to me, or just sit there and ogle my mouth?" Thinking brought her out of her dirty fantasies, and she stuttered out a shaky "N-no, go ahead."

"Thank you. My name is L, and I'm an accused pedophile, which is not true."

"Dude, you handcuffed me to you under the suspicion that I was Kira," Light interjected with an ugly look on his face.

"Light-kun is Kira, or was," L shot back. "Anyways, I am accused of having some sort of addiction to sweets. I am also an insomniac, but I fail to see how that should count as an issue for therapy to deal with."

"Well," Trish began. "You could be an insomniac due to traumatic stress as a child." She immediately shrunk further into her seat after the glare that L shot her, and she said quietly, "Well, it's our last person's turn to share.

Everyone turned their heads to look at Analyzing, and in a soft, almost unheard voice, he introduced himself.

"My name is Near, and I'm obsessive compulsive."

"And what makes you say that?" Trish asked. "What are you obsessive with?"

"With the way I play with my toys, or stack my dice."

"…how do you play with your toys?"

"I act out different scenarios with them in order to better understand a situation. I cannot play with them any other way. I've tried playing Godzilla, King Kong, and Jaws, but I always end up analyzing the situation."

"It seems more like you have an obsession with analyzing things."

"Yes, that's exactly my point."

Staring at the white-haired boy before her, Trish couldn't believe that such a quiet young man could be such a smart-ass. "OK. Since we have everyone's names and...problems…let's go on to the next step: Meeting In The Middle."

"Aren't we already in The Middle?" came Mello's voice.

"Yes, but there is also a Middle in therapy. It's mostly used for couples, when they can't agree on something, so they find ways to meet in The Middle and sort out their problems. Mello, you and Matt are obviously together, and it seems that there is some sexual tension between L and Light."

"What?" Light had stood up from his chair and was slowly turning red in the face. "There is no way in Hell that that…whatever he is...could ever attract me in some sexual way, let alone have any sex appeal!"

"Light-kun, when we showered together, you had no objection towards it whatsoever." Everyone was surprised, as L made his statement rather calmly.

However, Light was even more infuriated. "Well what would have been the point of objecting? We were handcuffed! You wouldn't even let me take a piss by myself!"

"Yes, but most people still would have put up some kind of a fight, regardless if it would be useless or not."

"T-that's-"

"And I believe that you did not mind it one bit when I was with you whilst relieving yourself. You even tried to compare your penis size with mine."

"I just wanted to make a point!"

"Would that point be that you cannot resist my genitalia?"

"!"

"Exactly."

All right all right!" shouted Trish. She had had enough of the bickering between the two, and decided that now would be a good, no, excellent, time to start the first step.

"Now, the two of you, please calm down. We're going to start this first step with you two. Light, you mentioned that L had handcuffed himself to you, or the other way around?"

"Correct."

"OK, and you apparently never had any objections to any activities while you were together, regardless," she heavily emphasized the word, seeing as Light was about to interject, "if it was useless or not. Now, you did have problems with it, and it seems that L did not mind, seeing as he was the one who initiated this…bondage. This obviously caused some sexual tension between you two, and this is where the Meeting In the Middle comes in. Why don't you try some kind new bondage kink in bed, or switch roles?

"But we've never had sex!"

"I can tell that you two want to, though."

Giving up with a defeated sigh, Light quietly agreed, and L nodded his head, not at all bothered.

"Great!" Trish was eager and excited again. "Since you two have admitted to this fact, you can go to your temporary houses tonight and see how this works out. We are out of time for today, so everyone is dismissed. We will resume same time tomorrow."

With a only a few goodbyes and an attempted hug on Trish from Misa, the group left the office and headed to their temporary homes.

Sighing out loud, Trish pinched the bridge of her nose and reclined back in her chair.

One couple down, one to go. Misa is obviously just a fill-in for that Light guy, and Near…well, he doesn't look like he fits in much. Trish gave up on her thoughts, and left her office to have a nice dinner with her boss, Watari.

AfterNote: If there are any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise, please point them out (: