Love Song

Chapter 7: Memories

It had been a few days since the 'incident' between Kakashi and Hanare, the two were back to normal at least on the outside. The truth was that both had moments of them going back to what happened, they just wouldn't admit it to anyone. And of course they locked the bathroom from now on when in use. Hanare was just finishing her own shower and sighed. Although she did love living with Kakashi maybe she should think about her own place soon?

This was supposed to be only temporary but she wasn't sure she wanted to go back to living alone. She had been alone her whole life, that empty feeling inside of her had been gone for so long and yet she was scared of feeling like that again. Shutting off the shower she let the water roll and drip off her body as she thought about it. It was something she would have to face again, she knew it, but she didn't have to like it. Getting out and drying herself off she went to think about how much she had saved up so far.

It still wasn't much, since she was still only being given small assignments for the moment. She had enough to live on for food and supplies, she could even afford rent but she didn't have enough for much in the way of furniture. Maybe she could get some second hand stuff and find a place that is partially furnished. She would have to save more that much was certain, but it felt like she had a clock running down on her time left here. It was kind of depressing actually.

In a robe she went into the bed room to change, she was just undoing the sash around her waist when she saw and felt arms wrap around her waist. She jumped and turned surprised to see Kakashi behind her. He was in civilian clothing and most shocking of all he didn't have a mask on.

"Kakashi!"

Her heart was hammering in her chest. What was he thinking doing this, why was his mask off? She tried to form any kind of words but she felt his strong arms wrapped around her pulling her against him. She felt his warm breath on her neck and his strong body pressing against her as she swallowed hard.

"Hello Hanare," He whispered into her ear sending shivers through her body. He never talked like that, like he was starving and she was his meal. So much desire in his voice made her knees feel slightly weak.

She tired for speak to him even though her mouth was going dry. "W-w-what are..."

"I can't resist is anymore," He told her his hands caressing her stomach and sides. "Seeing you every day, I can't control it anymore. I need you Hanare, I want you."

"Y-you do?" She blushed at his words and his hands were starting to drive her crazy.

"Yes I do," He kissed her neck making her moan out. She surrendered herself to him as she felt his hands gripping her sides. As his mouth kissed along her neck she relished the feeling of his soft lips against her skin. She felt his hands undoing the robe as she wouldn't wait for what came next.

Of course that was the moment she opened her eyes, for a moment she was confused, why was he looking at the ceiling and where was Kakashi? Looking around she noticed that it was morning and she was still in bed. It had all been a dream. She moaned in disappointment as she took the pillow behind her head and pulled it over her face.

'Why did I have to have a dream like that?' She asked herself. Of course she knew that Kakashi had held a special place in her heart since she was young. But she had never had dreams like that before. Then again she hadn't seen him nearly naked without a mask. Those books she had been reading weren't helping either.

'Wait...that dream,' She sat up remembering that had been a scene in one of the books. She blushed as she remembered what had happened in that scene and how the dream most likely would have gone. She fell back onto the bed and sighed. This was getting harder to control her emotions, the things she felt for Kakashi only got worse the more time she was with him. But she couldn't bear to be without him either. She didn't want to ruin the friendship that she had with him, her first ever friend and she knew she cared for him more than just a friend.

All those years growing up she had thought about him every day, wanting to see him again. She never thought she would meet him again, let alone live with him in a place that was home to her. She was overjoyed and yet yearned for more. She got to know the man that had been in her thoughts for years and although she only learned a little, each thing she learned she enjoyed. Because from all the years of thinking about him, she had wanted to know the real him and not just what she had imagined him to be.

With a sigh she decided to get up, she wasn't going back to sleep after that dream. She was too awake now and besides Kakashi would be up soon and start breakfast. She smiled at that, she looked forward to seeing him in the morning as they ate and talked together. She had never had such simple companionship before, and it only made her feel more for Kakashi for giving her yet more memories to cherish and more things in life to be happy about.

-Later that Day-

It had been another patrol day for Hanare as she started her walk home. She was starting to get into the routine but she was also starting to wish for something else. But she knew better than to ask the old Hokage for different work, at least until she had proven herself a bit more. She was also thinking about her personal training, she had only tutors to train with and never anyone else. She had made some friends so maybe she could ask Kurenai or Anko if they had free time for one. It would be good to get some real training in with another person.

Then again, she could also ask Kakashi, he was a legend for a reason and there were all kinds of things he could most likely teach her. She smiled at the thought of spending more time with him. Looking around she noticed that she was near the Team 7 training grounds but also there was something she had been meaning to check out.

She had learned of a few interesting places and one of them was the memorial stone. She wanted to check it out and see what it was like. She didn't know if her own or even other villages had a practice of honouring the fallen, but it was a nice way to show that the village appreciated their sacrifices. It took a little time finding it but once she found the correct path it led her right too it. She was surprised to see that none other than Kakashi was already there. She paused as she looked at him, he seemed to be looking at it almost staring at it lost in memories.

Hanare wasn't sure if she should bother him but something about it she found odd. She knew very little of Kakashi's life outside of his team and the habits he had. She didn't know much about his past, was there a name of someone important there on the stone? Looking at his body she could tell that he wasn't his usual carefree self. Living with him for as long as she did, she picked up on it. As a spy she was trained in all kinds of things, reading body language was one of them. Kakashi was very good at hiding his true feelings but he had his guard lowered here.

Slowly she moved forward, when she was within fifteen feet she noticed him shift ever so slightly. The guard went up a bit, it was impressive that he had noticed her being so lost in thought. She walked up next to him looking at the stone. They said nothing as she just looked it over, it was a simple thing with an almost sundial like construction. At least that's how she would describe it.

"I heard about this and wanted to see it for myself," She explained looking at all the names. "I didn't know there were so many names."

Kakashi nodded, "A name is carved in for every ninja that dies while on a mission, the wars helped to increase the number greatly."

"I was never involved in the last one, too young and not ready," Hanare had read up on the last great ninja war. She was thankful that she had not been involved in that. So much death and destruction had happened in it, plus her village being so small was overlooked.

"Be thankful of that," Kakashi said in a tone that she caught.

She cast a slight look at his face and looked to the stone, he seemed to be looking at a certain area. "Did you fight?" She noticed him nod and guessed the rest. "You lost someone."

"Two in the war, another after it." Kakashi told her honestly. He didn't know why he did but with Hanare he felt more relaxed. Her presence gave this warm feeling and she had told him all kinds of things about her life so far. It wasn't fair to keep everything locked up from her. Plus he liked having her in his life so it was only right to include her more in it.

"I'm sorry, they must have meant a lot to you," Hanare had never thought about what it was like to lose someone close to her, because she had never had anyone close to her now. "I…I don't know how I would feel about such a loss. I never had anyone precious to me to lose until now."

"It's never easy," Kakashi told her looking at her. The usual joyful look on her face was filled with sadness and worry. He didn't like that look on her face, it seemed out of place.

She looked up at him, "Can you tell me about them?"

Kakashi cocked his head to the side, "You want to know?"

"They were important to you so, they are important to me." Hanare told him making his eye widen in surprise. "I want to know more about the man that has given me so much in life. Even the pain I know you must have." She looked back to the names. "All these people here are precious to someone, so they should never be forgotten. So if I know about them then a bit of them will survive through me."

Kakashi almost felt floored by her words, no one had ever said something like that to him. It was true that he came here all the time in some way to keep the memories of those precious people alive in some way. Also to show his grieving for their loss, and maybe a bit of penance for not being strong enough to save them, but if someone could carry on their memory then maybe he wouldn't have to feel like he had to carry this burden all his own.

Kakashi pointed to one name, "Obito Uchiha."

"Uchiha, like Sasuke?"

Kakashi nodded, "He was an annoying loudmouth, over energetic and not much of an Uchiha compared to the clan. Always late and always with lousy excuses, but he had a huge heart and always tried to do the right thing."

Hanare giggled, "He sounds like Naruto."

Kakashi smiled at that, "He was indeed, he was my best friend and gave me a gift. He showed me that those that go against the rules are trash, but those that abandon their friends are worse than trash. He also gave me this," He tapped the part of his headband that covered his sharingan.

"So that's how you got that," Hanare had never heard of how that happened in all the stories she had heard of Sharingan Kakashi, the Copy Ninja.

"He was dying and I had lost my eye," Kakashi didn't want to go into too much detail, not yet anyway, these were some painful old wounds that he knew would never fully heal. "He gave it to me as a present for my promotion. Personally I would have gladly given the eye back if it meant he would have lived…"

"That day was one of the worse and yet most profound days of my life," Kakashi said to her.

Hanare could feel the tears in her eyes, although Kakashi remained reserved she could tell this was hard on him. She didn't know why but she reached out and took his hand in hers. Kakashi stiffened a bit, not sure about what to do but he returned it. He had never really talked about that day with anyone, it was too painful sometimes. But her holding his hand, he felt a strange sense of support from her.

He went on about Rin, the young medic and how Obito had loved her but could never tell her. How she had had feelings for Kakashi but he could never return them, she had always been his teammate and after Obito he felt he didn't deserve to try and return her feelings. He had been the one to try and leave her in order to fulfill the mission and it had been Obito to go back first.

Then he told her of when he gotten the report on her missing in action and then later labelled as dead. He went into their teacher the Fourth Hokage and she had never known that he had been that man's student. All the ninja world had heard of the great Fourth, the man was a legend, the only ninja to have a flee on sight order on him. She knew the history of the Nine Tails and how that great man had sacrificed himself for the village.

When she heard Kakashi talk about his mentor she could hear the pride in his voice, how he must have really looked up to the man and how much he meant. Hanare looked at the stone with the names on it as she listened to his stories. She unconsciously learned against his arm as she lost herself in his stories.

"I wish I could have met them," Hanare said after listening to his stories. "They sound so much like your team but different and unique. I feel like I know a bit of them from hearing about them."

"They were a very important group of people to me," Kakashi nodded his head feeling her against his arm. He tried to ignore how good that felt with her pressed up against him, he could feel the warmth of her against his arm. Ever since that day in the bathroom he had been finding it harder and harder to ignore certain things about her.

How her smile seemed to brighten up the room, how his home felt warmer and full of life when she was there. How it seemed empty without her presence. How while reading on the couch he would stop as he listened to the music she softly played in the apartment. The way she smelled after a shower, the scent of her on his bed when he used it when she wasn't there for the night. How he looked forward to seeing her, her cooking. Everything about her he was slowly learning that he enjoyed having her in his life.

But the question was could he open himself up again? Looking at the memorial stone and talking about his past with her only reminded him of all the people close to him that he lost. It took time for him to open up and accept people. He already felt close to his team but with Hanare it felt different. She wasn't like the genins, she was something else.

Kakashi was unsure about his feelings for her, okay yes he really did enjoy her company and yes she was very attractive. The thing was he was never any good at the whole relationship thing, most likely because deep down he was afraid. Afraid that he would lose yet another person in this line of work, oh sure he could try a civilian but honestly a civilian didn't seem his type. They couldn't understand the kind of life he lived, they might try, but in the end they couldn't.

Kakashi had just seen and done too much, too much blood, pain and death for any civilian to relate or understand fully. Another ninja could but that brought the argument back to the possibility of losing yet another precious person. It didn't help that in this moment he felt too comfortable with Hanare, he was letting his guard down and he knew she could sneak in past it. Losing people was the only thing that Kakashi feared in life.

His parents, his friends, his mentor, could he stand to lose someone that he…cared for?

He didn't have an answer to that yet, plus he was a realist. Hanare might not even think of him in any such way, at least that's what he told himself. Someday soon she would have the money to start her own life. He wouldn't stop her, her life was her own and he would help her out with a smile even if he would miss seeing her in the morning. He would also miss talking with her over meals and hearing her sing in his home.

He tightened the grip on her hand just a bit, maybe this was all that he could get out of her in life, maybe this was all someone like him was supposed to get. Did people like him get the happy ending eventually? Or was he fated to finally one day meet someone that was just a little bit better than him on the battle field? He was prepared to die, he had been for most of his life as a ninja. Dying alone was something he had come to terms with for years.

But with Hanare, things became cloudy, she made him feel things he had thought weren't possible for a man like him.

Just what was he supposed to do with her? With this young beautiful woman that had come into his life? Sure he wouldn't change a thing but some part of him whispered that this couldn't last.

"Are you okay?" Hanare asked him sensing something off with his mood.

He turned to smile at her, "Just thinking, I do that a lot here. But I think I've paid my respects enough for the day."

She smiled up at him and for a moment he felt all the doubt leave. "Shall we go home then?"

"Yeah, let's go home." Kakashi told her as they walked together.

What neither of them noticed until they were walkway there that they had still been holding each other's hand the entire way. They dropped it as soon as they realized, both blushing at it but not saying a word about it. And both of them feeling a little regret that the other had let go.

Next up Chapter 8: Chunin Exams

So close yet so far huh? Don't worry just building up, I figured that both would have some insecurities that they would have to overcome. Mainly the next little bit will be the chunin arc from her point of view only so I don't have to rewrite things that have been done to death.