I have too many cousins. It sucks, but I do. I'm sorry, I just got back from visiting my family. All I ate that entire trip was Subway and Italian food. I left my Italian family to be fed nothing but Italian. Ironic huh? Well, my 16 year old cousin just had her baby boy, by 23 year old cousin has a little two month old (on top of his 5 year old and his 3 year old), my 20 year old cousin is gonna pop any day now, I believe my 24 year old cousin is pregnant, I just found out my uncle has a daughter in Sarycuse. And of course, half of them all celebrate their birthday this week. I went to three birthday celebrations in one day. Of course, I couldn't complain about the one, it was a church celebration. My cousin would have been 46 this week, he died 23 years ago when he was only 23, and I just learned how old he was this week. It was very heartbreaking.

Who's Bet: Abby

Spoilers: None, pre-season 1

Who doesn't see the love?

Something wasn't right. Every time Abby walked into a room these days, conversations completely stopped. When somebody came into her lab needing something, they refused to look at her. The only people who weren't acting weird was Gibbs and his new lapdog, Agent DiNozzo, formerly known as Detective DiNozzo, also known as a royal pain in Abby's ass. It was bad enough that she had to share the bossman with somebody else, but that the somebody else was an annoying jerkhead who kept trying to look up her skirt and undressing her with his eyes while making lewd comments just made it unbearable.

Needless to say she was in a bad mood. She had been in a perpetual bad mood for three months now. That was how long DiNozzo had been working for Gibbs. She was waiting for the day that the stupid gigolo wannabe cried like a baby and ran out of the Naval Yard with his tail between his legs. But everyday he came in cockier and happier than ever. It was annoying, but it was like he enjoyed working with Gibbs. Nobody liked working with Gibbs. Well, Abby did, and Ducky, but they were the only ones! Even Burley didn't really like working with Gibbs. Well, he did, but he didn't always. It took him three years, and that's because that's how long it took for Gibbs to start referring to him by name instead of random grunts and "hey you!" Gibbs didn't even get it right for another year—he kept calling him 'Steve.' But Gibbs always called the new guy by his right name. Most of the time, it was DiNozzo, but every once in a while, he'd call him Tony. What made him so much more special that Stan Burley? Burley was the man!

Her mood was worse now, because of how everyone kept acting around her. And damn it, she wanted it to stop!

There was one person who she knew would be willing to talk to her. Well, he wouldn't be willing, but he would eventually cave if she pushed enough. So that was how Abby found her way heading down to Autopsy. She needed to see Ducky. Maybe he could make sense of everything. If anyone could, it'd be Ducky.

Well, normally, Gibbs makes sense of everything, but he was the reason she was in a bad mood. Besides, if she went to Gibbs, his lapdog would most likely be right there, and he was the last person she wanted to see. Ever.

When she walked into Autopsy, it was Gerald and another agent, Special Agent Cassie Yates. Right away, Abby knew something was wrong. Never mind she hadn't seen Cassie in months, but to make it worse, they did it again. As soon as Abby walked into the room, the two, who had been having a pretty great conversation as far as Abby could tell, stopped and stared at her like a deer caught in the freaking headlights.

"No, no, no, no, definitely not!" She strode into the lab, her finger pointed at both of them.

"Abby—" Cassie started before Abby cut her off.

"You are not doing this to me too! Absolutely not. There is something hinky going on around here, and you two know what it is! I am not leaving this lab until you tell me!" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared. It was her imitation of Gibbs' glare. It was generally effective. Except towards Gibbs, of course.

"Abby, we don't know anything. Really." She glared harder at Gerald's words. "Cassie and I were just talking about a recent case."

"You're lying! There's no new case, otherwise I'd be getting new forensics. I haven't gotten new forensics, so therefore, there's no new case!" She shouted the last part of the sentence.

"Well how do you know, Abby?" Cassie asked, trying to be logical. It made Abby even angrier. "You're down here talking to us, somebody might be on their way to your lab to give you new forensics."

Abby paused. Damn it, that made sense. That actually made a lot of sense.

No! Absolutely not, she was not falling for that. "If that were the case, then why did you two just stop when I came in here? Why is everyone treating me like a leper! Do I smell? Are my pigtails crooked?" She uncrossed her arms and put on her best pout. "Now tell me the truth! What's been going on? Everything's been all wrong ever since Gibbs hired that stupid newbie—" She stopped. Gerald and Cassie gave each other a look.

Abby stepped closer. "Does it have to do with Gibbs and his newbie?" Her answer was silence. "Hey! Guys!" She started pouting again. "Talk to me."

She had to wait another few minutes before she could finally get a damn answer out of them. They kept exchanging glances between the two of them. Abby bounced back and forth. She generally wasn't a very patient person, but considering what she did for a living, she had to learn to be patient. It didn't mean she had to like it.

Cassie was the one who broke the silence. "Gerald was asking me if I wanted in on the office pool."

What?

"What office pool?" Abby wasn't informed of a pool. "And what does that have to do with Gibbs and the poodle?" A poodle was a good dog to describe Anthony DiNozzo. They yapped, had annoying hair that they thought was the greatest thing on earth, and they never stopped annoying you. Oh yeah, that was definitely Agent DiNozzo.

"That is the office pool," Cassie continued.

Abby waited for her to elaborate. But she didn't. Gerald did though, so, Abby's patience wasn't wasted. "A couple of the agents think that Gibbs and DiNozzo are gonna," he paused, suddenly uncomfortable, "sleep together."

There weren't a lot of things that could stun Abby Scuito silent. She was a talker by nature. Generally, even her thoughts were a random jumble of words. But hearing those words, and she couldn't even think in long sentences. Actually, she couldn't think in short sentences.

Her anger decided to show its ugly head. "Are you insane? Even on the off chance that Gibbs is gay—which by the way, he totally is not—he would not, ever ever ever ever! Sleep with someone like Agent DiNozzo!"

"I have to disagree," Cassie butted in. Abby was about to start yelling again when Cassie cut her off. "I know Gibbs, Abby. He never takes to new agents well. He doesn't like change, and there should be no reason for Gibbs to get along with Tony. But he does. And when he looks at the man," she paused, a strange look coming over her face. "Those two take eye porn to a whole new level!"

Abby shook her head. Again, she was stunned speechless. No, scratch that, she was bitch slapped speechless. Gibbs and DiNozzo? Eye porn? She was in an alternate universe. That was the only possible logical reason for this. She was sucked into one of the multiverses where everyone is insane and DiNozzo was some flaming homosexual who talked with a lisp and said "oh my god" a lot and Gibbs was a soldier and not a Marine. Yeah, that made sense.

"I'm walking away now." She pointed over her shoulder. "Back to reality." She slowly stepped away from the crazy people. Maybe if she went slowly, and kept an eye on them, they wouldn't turn rabid on her and bite her in the ass.

"Wait, Abby," Cassie came forward, arms outstretched. Abby squealed, covering her face with her arms and preparing for the attack. "Abby, I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Sure, you want me to believe that so I let my guard down and you can attack me!" She wasn't going to fall for that, she was far too smart!

"Abby, just," Cassie took a deep breath. "Just look into it. Watch them for a while. If you actually pay attention, you might actually see something."

Abby finally lowered her arms and scoffed. "That's not likely going to happen. Like I said, Gibbs is totally straight. And even if he wasn't, he would never stoop so low to hook up with DiNozzo." She finally made her escape from the lab.

***3 Weeks Later***

Abby walked into Autopsy with her tail between her legs and her shoulders slumped. Ducky and Gerald were standing over their latest dead body. When she walked in, they just stared at her with that stupid look on their faces again. Man, she hated that look.

She sighed heavily. "Put me down for the week before Thanksgiving, 2004." She really hated being wrong.

Well, I hope you liked it. I'm thinking of maybe making the next one Paula Cassidy. I want to cover the first two seasons before I hit Ziva and Director Sheppherd and such, but don't worry, they will be covered sometime in the near future!