Soulchanging
Chapter 4
/
The next day, Ami returned to the Atrium to find Julie and Toby there, the latter of which who had just finished bringing Goliathus' "breakfast" in. He was in his usual spot, munching away. Julie turned and ran up to Ami, giving her a big hug. "Hey girl, what's up? Sleep well?"
"Guess so." She said nothing for so long that Julie raised a brow. "How is he?"
"Uhm fine. Just pigging out as usual. Why?"
"No reason, just wanted to be sure he was ok."
Julie frowned, seeing the dark circles under her eyes. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Swear it?" She folded her arms, not convinced.
"Yeeees, Julie. I'm ok."
"All right, if you say so. I'm going to go and get a report done, and I'll be back. You gonna stay again tonight?"
"Uhm yes, I think I will." Though she had hardly convinced herself.
"Good deal. I think it's good for him to have you around like that, Ami." She looked a bit thoughtful then. "Though you know what, he seemed a bit down today. Maybe a tad depressed. I'm sure you'll fix him up, though." Julie smiled and walked out of the room, with Toby following her. "See ya later Ami."
"Yeah, bye Toby!"
When they had gone, she slowly made her way to the bars of the Atrium. She looked up, but all she could see was what looked like his feet and perhaps the corner of one wing.
Gollie?
Eating. Hungry. Came his response, as normal as it ever was.
Ami smiled slightly, feeling a bit of relief. Though how long would it last before this painful scenario played itself again, getting worse each time?
Ami sat down on the small studying bench nearby and hugged her knees to her chest, where she thought to herself for several long minutes before saying anything again.
I am sorry, Gollie. I hurt your feelings and I am sorry. Just thinking it almost made the tears return.
There was no response for quite some time, but Ami almost expected it. She was just about ready to get up when she felt that familiar tingle in her head.
Ami you need not apologize to me.
Yes I do! I was so mean last night. What the hell was I doing saying you could come near but you couldn't stay that way for too long, or that you could touch but just not so intensely...I mean what the hell is that? All I'm doing is confusing you!
You are hard on yourself. Worse then me sometimes. The gentle and assuring way that he could speak just dumbfounded her.
So you're not upset now?
No, I am fine. And well fed, I think.
Ami laughed. "Silly creature." She nodded her head. I get it now. I think you tend to get your temper flared easily when hunger is involved. It just makes it worse.
Yes, I would not deny it.
Pressing her forehead against the bars, Ami sighed and grasped the bars tightly. I really don't think you're a monster, that's not the right word for you at all. You're a creature, something different, but only to humans. And when we don't understand something, we fear it, and reject all notion that it could have feelings or manners like we do. But I know that's not the case with you , Gollie. You were indeed a tormented creature, by the humans who feared you, and so you feel that I couldn't think of you any other way. But I care about you...a lot. More then a lot. I could never tell anyone about that, though. They'd never understand.
You do like me?
Like? Yes. But more then that, too. Ami smiled warmly.
He peered over the ledge, and she could see him now.
She watched him as he moved down until he got to the floor, where he met her right up against the bars.
Tell me then.
"What?" She said aloud, giving him an aloof smile.
Tell me how you feel. I want to understand.
Well I...care about you a lot, as I said.
There is another word for this. But you will not use it. Why?
Ami blinked. Another word? You know about this other word?
I know it, but I may not understand it. You can help me to understand.
Ami's eyes widened. He not only wanted to know this, but understand it? Her breath caught in her throat. Would this not be the biggest advancement, the ultimate victory, if he were to truly understand love?
She reached through the bar, touching his face. You can't really understand love unless you...can express it. Then she nodded, fully understanding. And you can't express it because I'm not allowing you... That realization hit her hard.
Is that what it is? Love? I have not understood what this is or why humans express this to each other. Is love this incredible need I have around you?
Ami nodded. I think so.
Then why do you not allow it? Is it because you do not love me?
Well, there was no stopping it, as tears brimmed her eyes. Slowly, she shook her head. No...no. That's not it at all.
You still do not trust me then?
No...Gollie I do trust you.
He grunted. Then I do not understand.
Could a heradus get a human pregnant? The thought came from nowhere, just suddenly it was there.
What? He was not expecting that at all.
Pregnant.
With child?
Yes, silly.
I do not think so. I am not human in the slightest. Is this what worries you?
Yes. Can you imagine that, Gollie. Me having a little baby heradus, wings and all. She couldn't help but grin slightly at him.
I do not think it is that easy. He blinked at her.
Hm?
We are very rare, are we not? How that is so, if we are Immortal, I do not know, but...how could we be so rare if all it took was to impregnate humans? I could have done that anytime I chose, if so be the case.
Ami blinked, trying to think of a reason, but none came. Well you have a marvelous point.
Gollie...I'll be staying tonight and this time, I won't leave. I promise.
He gave her a toothy grin, which was his best impersonation of a smile. You will?
Yes, I mean it.
But I cannot be near you?
No, I didn't say that.
He walked back and forth, as if starting to pace. You must let be near you.
I must? She teased, smiling warmly. How is that to treat a woman, by saying she must?
Please.
Why Goliathus? Hm? Why MUST I be with you?
Because I am no longer able to contain this desire.
Ami wondered if she knew how much he sounded like a romance novel.
You are sure of this?
Yes...cannot... His thoughts were getting all jumbled again, from his powerful emotions. Please stay.
I told you I would, Mr. Magnificent. But we're there for a History Session. Sheesh, I'll never get it done at this rate.
I will tell you anything, of course.
I know. Silly creature.
You must stay.
Gollie, how many times do I have to tell you-
I need to be near you...around you...inside of you. The words were spoken slowly and with much sincerity.
Whoa. Ami also then wondered if he knew how intense his words could be...or how shocking.
Yes. A hormonal male, indeed. She shook her head and walked over to the table. So you think we will get together tonight and it will be nothing but an intense lovemaking lesson? Is that it?
Yes.
Laughing out loud, Ami just couldn't believe him. Of course, he would have no inhibitions such as a person would in normal society. But then he truly surprised her with his next statement.
That is, if you are willing. He had already climbed halfway up to the art ledge, never being one to be able to sit still for long.
You care if I am willing or not?
Yes! I could not force you. It would mean nothing then, and you would only despise me afterwards.
Then Goliathus...my winged friend. You DO understand.
What?
Love, silly.
I do? He seemed very excited of that prospect.
Yes. You only want to be close to me because you desire me...it's not lust after all...and... Ami smiled, though a different kind of tear was escaping her eyes. ...and you have no desire to force me. That , for you, is understanding love.
He started purring just slightly, which was his only way of expressing a true happy feeling. Yes, then...then I do understand indeed.
Later that night, when everyone had left, Ami once again had her little backpack and was inside the Atrium, unpacking her stuff while Goliathus once again checked everything to make sure nothing was edible. He had found a bar of soap that smelled interesting, but quickly realized that was NOT for eating. Ami had to tell him that it was for cleaning, such as the same liquid stuff he used in his own personal shower stall. (Being the clean creature that he was, surprisingly.)
That caused her to giggle at him of course. Eventually, she had her little sleeping bag spread out on his large mattress and her favorite pillow, and with a big sigh of comfort sank down into it, resting on her back. Goliathus came around, lying next to her.
It will be nice to have company.
She smiled at him, no longer holding back the love or compassion she had for him in any way, as what happened last night and earlier today had changed all that.
Yes. I sleep alone too, so it will be nice for me to have company as well. Even if a rather unusual bedmate. She reached for her PJs and started to undress right there, as she didn't feel the slightest bit uncomfortable around him for some reason. The only thing that perhaps still lingered, try as she may to fight it, was a slight apprehension...he was an intimidating creature after all. However, she didn't let it overpower her trust in him. She never would.
Just as she was about to finish and pull her shirt down, she felt cool but careful hands exploring her bare back. Ami couldn't help but giggle, because it tickled, and she turned around to face him. Hey! That tickles.
Have you changed your mind?
About what?
About being with me.
I can't say, Gollie. Not just yet.
He nodded, for once not questioning. I have once heard that love requires patience. So I will try to be patient.
That just floored Ami, and her jaw would of nearly hit the mattress beneath her. She just didn't know how to respond to that, though she did know that for some reason those words just sparked more warm feelings in her for him then ever. Why in the world did she still seem so undecided? Why could she not just give in to him?
Why not?
Ami then turned, lying back down with him and cuddling up close to his side. Gollie if you say one more amazing thing like that, then I will have no choice but to just be lost to your every whim.
The pleasant growl that escaped him told her that what she said was perhaps more then intended.
I am confused...you are not sure and yet...you say things such as that.
I know. I can't help it really. She then smiled. I have an idea...something I know you like and that always practically turns you into a puddle of relaxation.
Ami went into her bag and grabbed a bottle of oil, the kind you would use on a horse to shine up its flank. This she loved to use on Gollie because it did the same for him, rather then leave that dried out look to his skin that truly made him look his age! Without really even thinking on what she would be doing to him, she sat up and started rubbing oil into his skin. Of course he started purring, which Ami loved to no end, but quickly this turned into heated desire, more intense then ever.
This...this excites me.
Ami giggled. It does? I thought this always relaxed you.
I am relaxed, but...you are driving me crazy.
Oh goodness. I'm sorry, G... Ami pouted and put the bottle of oil away.
He reached for her, caressing her side. I could not bear for you to leave me this time.
I'm not going anywhere.
Eyes nearly wild with desire, Goliathus took her and held her close, his grip strong and tight. Ami's own heart began thrumming in her chest, as it was obvious she had brought his spark to a raging flame. It wasn't exactly what she had intended...but it had been done nonetheless.
I really am sorry. Look what I'm doing to you! She sighed and buried her head against his chest.
Goliathus moved, gently positioning himself on top of her. Ami couldn't help but feel this was all so intoxicating...first having such a strong male hold her so, then to feel his weight on her like this. Instead of being afraid or even appalled, she felt so warm and safe underneath him.
It was as if she still didn't fully comprehend the situation at hand, what was bound to happen at any moment.
I actually can't believe that you're so warm like that... She grinned, moving her hands to caress his shoulders.
Such need.
Goliathus.
Hm?
I don't know what I'm doing, or why I'm doing this. Please be gentle with me.
Is it not because you love me? His nudges, exploring hands, and constant breath upon her skin was awakening her senses like lightning.
As crazy as it is? Yes, I think that's so. She just kept pressing her face into his chest.
Then that is all that matters. Do you think I, for one, care what the world thinks anymore? Maybe at one time I did...but you know how it is now.
Still, it must be kept secret.
As you say. He used a knee to nudge between her legs. Let me. Please.
The world may have well been spinning. Still refusing to open her eyes, she just nodded slightly and willed herself not to resist. Goliathus indeed, found no resistance as he entered her, other then her virginity which made itself known by her incredible tightness. This only served to further excite her strange lover, however, who kept growling and purring with every sensation, small as it was at the moment.
Ami meanwhile cringed at the pain she knew she would feel, but no matter how it might sting her eyes, she would not resist. She knew full well that all would end soon and she could expect nothing but pleasure in the future. And she also knew that she would not disappoint him, not fight him, nor allow him to feel rejection. He had been rejected enough. By the cruel, frightened men who tortured him for a relentless 365 days, to the annoying Michael who seemed challenged by him and could not let him be. Even by those women whom he let go in the past...who perhaps he felt a strange sort of feeling for...maybe just the slightest hint of the compassion that really was buried somewhere within him. Her thoughts were cut off by sharp pain as Goliathus just tore through whatever barrier she had. Ami had to fight those tears, but it was hard. He perhaps did not fully understand his own strength, especially in cases such as this, and somehow Ami knew not to blame him for it. He maybe did not even understand that a woman was this delicate...that her first time would be any different then the next. Of course she never had told him she was a virgin...why would she have?
But he stopped anyway, and left her quickly.
Ami lie there a moment, getting her senses together, and cringing slightly at the stinging pain that persisted between her legs.
Those tears...those are not sad tears. His expression was crestfallen. Those are tears of pain. I know them well.
Uhm, yes... She certainly couldn't lie to him. They are.
I have hurt you!
It can't be helped, Gollie. This is my first time, and well...you're just a bit more rough then you realize. And you can't help that, but I know you didn't mean it. Don't be alarmed, it will pass. She moved herself, still not able to help cringing, and leaned against him. He held her, but he seemed unsure of himself.
I am sorry.
Don't be, it's all right. Perfectly normal.
Goliathus thought for a long moment, as if contemplating something. Then he slowly reached downwards, towards her thighs. Will this help? And with that, he began licking her as a dog might when it found something that smelled interesting. Ami could have nearly cried out, it felt so wonderful. How did she not cry out, in fact? That thought just drowned in her mind as her very unusual lover intensified his oral explorations. She thought she heard his mental voice say something like "...marvelous...", but it was hard to concentrate on with not only her present sensations but his purring which had increased in volume.
Oh gawd...Gollie...
He seemed lost in this new act, intoxicated by her taste. He had licked his own wounds, when they were bad enough and bothering him, but instead he had discovered a whole new level of pleasure when trying to do the same for her, and Ami was reacting in a way he had never seen a woman react. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders, moaned, gasped, and tried very hard to maintain control of herself. Does this please you?
Yes...oh...my...gawd...YES.
Goliathus grinned quickly before going back to his sensuous exploration. After a while, Ami lost herself in a powerful climax, and Goliathus did not stop until he had practically cleaned her of every last drop.
Is the pain gone? He came back up to her side.
Yeah...I'd say it is. She smirked at him. You wicked little devil you.
I am glad I could help. He grinned quite mischievously. You have a marvelous taste, better then anything else I have known.
Ami blinked at his silvery, reptilian eyes that were unusually kind at this moment. Just shut up, and get on top of me.
In a flash he obeyed her command, the heated need was even greater then before...and Ami went spinning into an oblivion of forbidden ecstasy.
/
The next morning seemed to come as a surprise. Large, blue eyes opened slowly and languidly, as a pleasant sense of exhaustion and remaining grogginess could be felt all over. Her eyes began to look around and through a bit of streaming sunlight coming in through the triangle roof, Ami could see Goliathus curled up beside her, his wings wrapped taught around him, a way that he always slept. With a yawn and full stretch, Ami finally moved and cuddled up to his backside. Maybe she would catch five more minutes.
Thanks for staying.
Blinking, Ami wondered if she only imagined those words in her head as sleep tried hard to take her back into its gentle grasp.
Though nothing followed, Ami knew after a few minutes that it was Goliathus who had spoken.
Oh...well...you're welcome? She giggled.
I have not felt this calm in a while. Nor so pleasant.
Ami looked at him, but he seemed to be rhythmically breathing and not stirring, as if still asleep.
I feel rather uhm... pleasant myself. Smiling she snuggled up as close as she could and grabbed the blanket up with her, making sure to get some of it over his side.
You do not regret?
No. Ami paused a long while. You just amaze me, Gollie.
As you have said.
You go around killing and feasting on humans for nearly a thousand years and in just a span of roughly FOUR years you are a reformed being...gone from wicked and merciless to curious and loving.
There was no response, and still not a single flinch, for several long minutes. Ami began to fall asleep again, her eyelids heavy and just barely remaining open.
You are right, and yet...I fear you are not.
The statement caused Ami's eyes to flutter open, and she was made slightly alarmed by his words. Looking up, she could still see only his backside, for he still had not moved...was he talking to her in his sleep?
What does that mean? She wondered if she really wanted to know that answer.
Again, a very long amount of "silence", so much so that if she didn't know any better, she'd think Goliathus was truly asleep and she had just imagined it all.
I have not become against the idea. There is simply no more reason...and a knowledge that by avoiding such I can remain awake.
Ami sighed, a little bit of relief in her breath. Well that I know. But what about simply killing humans?
If there is reason.
The apprehension returned. WHAT reason?
Such as... He huffed. Someone like Michael.
So you still want to kill Michael?
He reminds me of my tormentors. In truth, I do.
So will you?
He finally turned around, and Ami saw herself staring into those silvery reptilian eyes again.
I would not, but only because you do not wish it.
She smiled. Then if there's only that, there's only that. She stroked his face.
He closed his eyes, a mixture of pleasure and sleepiness.
Hey, Gollie...this sort of talk makes me wonder...why, if someone created you, would they instill you with such a cursed hunger?
His eyes opened again. I do not know such things.
There's got to be a reason for it.
Since I am not the creator, I cannot tell you. Nor do I, sadly, remember much of those earliest times.
Do you think you were designed to kill humans? Doesn't that seem like overkill, pun intended? She grinned slightly.
He blinked, her inquiries really making him think. Overkill...I had not thought of it in this way.
Yeah, I mean, look at you. Wicked six inch talons, one hell of a set of chompers...huge wings that are like a supernatural force in themselves...an unmistakably advanced healing ability...incredible speed...incredible sight...incredible hearing...incredible NOSE...it just seems a bit much for hunting us mortal humans!
Indeed.
Ami sat up, getting more interested in her own point. Is it possible perhaps that...you were designed to kill something ELSE? Something way more powerful then just measly humans?
He came up to join her in a sitting position, shifting his clawed feet indian style. Such as...what?
Ami blinked a few times...then shrugged. I dunno...well...I mean I have a theory...as crazy as it seems.
Do tell.
Vampires.
He raised an eyebrow. ...vampires?
Yes, vampires.
She tilted her head at him. You ever seen any vampires?
Goliathus shook his head. Heard of them...I know what they are. A few years ago I may have considered them kin...another creature which feasts upon humans.
Ah but you see...something like you is far more powerful then something like THEM.
He grinned. Are you suggesting something?
That you become a vampire hunter? Why not? Those guys are REAL monsters, anyhow. A good vampire is not impossible, but it's about as likely as finding a diamond among glass.
There was yet another long time of silence. I rather like the idea.
You do? She grinned. Well of course you do, I shouldn't be surprised.
I am getting rather bored in here. Does this mean I get to go out?
This stopped Ami in her train of thought. Hold the phone here. Goliathus had NEVER been outside of the atrium in the entire time he'd been here. No one had trusted him that far...and even now it was unlikely. Even if Ami did feel he should be allowed out...nobody would agree to it! What would she do?
That could be a problem, Gollie. She said, very softly.
I do not see why I cannot be let out. He stretched his bat-like wings and flapped them once, sending small gusts of wind blowing over Ami. I would like to be in the sky again.
Ami nodded knowingly. Oh yes, I wouldn't deny you're feeling like a cramped, caged animal in here...big as this place is...it's like a pet bird...sure it can have a huge aviary and fly around, but, is it ever really free? Of course not.
Yes. Then I would like to go out tonight. Perhaps I will find some places where vampires are hiding.
Ami's one mere suggestion had brought out his hunting instincts in a flash. But it seemed entirely too easy. Maybe he really was designed to do something like that.
Goliathus.
He had already gotten up, looking out the windows as if already planning this outing.
Hm? He kept staring outside.
I don't know if I can let you out.
He turned back to her, eyes showing a bit of confusion. But you just said?
I trust you, really I do, G. But I do worry that some things may overpower you again, and also that nobody is going to ever trust you like I do! I don't know if I'll be able to get anyone to agree to this.
Just tell them your suggestion? He contemplated everything she said very carefully, and at the very least listened.
Yeah, it's good and all...but don't you think old habits die hard?
Ah...good point. But would this not be a way to use a habit...differently?
Ami grinned slightly at him. He certainly was a creature of reason all right. But she knew she had to change the subject, to get his mind off of it at least for now.
Well, we couldn't do this right now anyway.
He blinked at her. Hm? Why not?
Because part of me wants to repeat what we just did last night. Her grin was almost as bad as his.
Oh? Goliathus tucked those wings back around him and stepped over back to her side.
Hmm...wouldn't you?
He tilted his head at her. Are you trying to distract me?
Ami's expression fell, for she had not expected that reaction.
Well I'm trying to be...romantic. And apparently that's not working. She elbowed him playfully.
I want to go outside. His eyes narrowed at her slightly. Ami sighed, stroking his face. "Why are you getting upset with me?" She said aloud.
"Because you will not let me out. I have been in here a very long time." He answered in his own rare voice.
You HAD to be, Gollie. You are not the creature now that you were then, and it took a while to get you here.
He huffed and turned away from her. Then why did you suggest it?
Another sigh escaped her. I was just speculating on what you COULD do to make use of that quite literal "killer instinct" you have. But I never said it would happen now. You have to have patience.
He turned back to her slowly. I have had patience. I have tried to keep myself busy. But it has been a long time, and I do want a chance to be out of here.
Ami met eyes with him. You don't even know where you'd be going. If you never did find a vampire, what would happen? Would you get frustrated and go after a human?
You do not trust me if you say these things! Moving away, Goliathus growled and climbed his way back to the very top, to his art ledge. Ami knew he was frustrated, and even mad. Sometimes she felt she just wanted to quit, but deep inside she knew that he was right. Being in here was starting to get to him. He needed to be set free, to be let out of the cage.
But would he come back?
Goliathus.
I told you. Humans lie. This is why I hate them, why I do not trust THEM. I am sad, that you would lie, and that you would not trust me. Now I do not know what to feel about you.
Please, you know how I feel about you, just let me explain exactly why- Ami was suddenly interrupted. All at once, it seemed Goliathus really did remember more then he was letting on. He sat back down with a pained expression and began to talk to her softly in his mind's voice.
Those men, they told me they would hide me in a safer place, and that Annabelle would be taken care of. I did not know what to think of this, I knew she was a friend as well as my mother, and I knew she cared for me, so part of me was reluctant to allow this. But I was curious, very curious, about these humans, and so I went with them. They took me underground to this sort of dungeon, and as soon as I saw people locked up in there I knew it was bad. And yet, part of me still wanted to trust them, because had not a human been caring for me? They led me into the largest room, then shut the door, locking it, saying they would be back and to just wait for them. I, being naive, believed them and waited.
Ami remained silent...and just listened.
After a long moment of silence, he continued.
They did not come back. I waited days, the hunger grew worse, I yelled for someone to bring food, but no one did. There were some rats, but they were meager if anything, and mostly fur and bones. I tried to talk to the prisoners in rooms on either side of the hall, but they were either not responding or were dead, I could not be sure. I could not even see them anyway, the room was so dark. The place smelled of death and chilly air, and I became more apprehensive. I tried to escape, but there was stone all around me and the door itself was made of heavy iron. There were no windows. The floor too was solid concrete underneath a layer of dirt. I realized this had all been planned. They wanted me down here, perhaps just hoping I would starve and die. But oh, if only that was so.
Goliathus paused again, his eyes intense as if reliving the horrid memories.
Part of me would not believe it, I felt confused anyhow as to why the humans would put me down here. I figured eventually, someone would show.
It was not until four whole weeks had passed that someone did. I was beyond ravenous, I was weak and could not even feel the hunger anymore, unless it was that ever-burning pain in my abdomen. I became aware as I heard the door open, and five, maybe six large men came in, carrying chains. Quick as they could, and with a strange wildness in their eyes, they tied me up and dragged me out of that room, down the hall, and down a flight of stairs even lower into the ground. There, they chained me flat on my back to a large table. I struggled, but because I had been starved there was not much strength left to be offered, so it was in vain. Then, the men began talking amongst themselves in a huddled group, I could see that there were about twelve of them now. They kept peering over their shoulders and looking at me, whispering and saying things that I could not understand. I spoke up, pleading to be fed, but when one of them came to me, holding a large knife, I knew helping me was the last thing on his mind.
He did not say much of anything, but with a rather disgusted look on his face, he held that knife up high...and down it came, plunging into my chest with a force that I had never felt before. The pain was agonizing, so much so that even when I tried to scream, nothing came at first. Then the others moved in, and they too had sharp objects, and ALL of them started plunging those weapons into me. They seemed crazed, full of hatred, I could smell that off of them, but I knew not what I had done or why they were doing this to me.
The pain now was blinding, I tried to move, but the chains held me fast. I pleaded for them to stop, but they did not. It seemed they ignored that I even could speak. After some agonizing sum of minutes, they did finally stop. The one who first started the attack then came over to me, leaning over and getting inches from my face. He said, "See no evil..." and plunged the smaller knife he had into my right eye. At this point the screams did come. I imagine it was quite loud because most of them covered their ears.
"Hear no evil..." An accomplice of his came and shoved what I can only think to be some kind of lead or iron pipe into my left ear. I blacked out for a moment, then came back around, but was fully aware of the blood that was now seeping from both wounds, and every other one from before.
"Speak no evil..." I did not even want to see what was going to happen, so I closed my one good eye and waited. At first I thought maybe one of them had slammed some sort of rock or something onto my face until I realized it was a metal plate covering my mouth. Another came and hammered nails into it, and at this point, I could not describe the pain to you, for it was beyond words. I realized that I was not going to die, despite what they did, and in a way, that was my greatest fear of all.
They actually laughed, a sort of malicious laugh I honestly had not heard before, and seemed to be fully enjoying what they were doing. At this point I was only filled with confusion and sadness, for I just could not comprehend why they were doing this. Just what had I done?
Again the heradus paused, and at this point he looked at Ami, seeing the tears streaming from her face. She seemed in absolute shock, for clearly he had never told this story to her. But for some reason he felt compelled to tell it now.
Now, I could say nothing to them, I had only my one good eye to express emotion with, and if they could see the pleading in it, they ignored it fully.
"You should know, foul demon, that your little mistress witch will be burned at the stake...alive. As for you..." Again, this one who had first instigated the attack came near to my face, "...you will wish that you had never been summoned from whatever hell you came from."
They thought I was a demon? Truly, I saw how this could be so, but I always thought that Maniel, my creator as Annabelle had told me, would have told the humans about me. But apparently he did not. And apparently, they meant to do horrid things to me. Then I thought of Annabelle, and I can not be sure if what fell from my one eye was tears, or the blood from the wounds.
Next thing I know, they are looking me over.
"How do we kill this thing, anyhow?"
"I do not know. But I wonder if it is anything like a person inside?"
"Let us find out." The leader took his knife once more, and this time, sliced me open from chest to navel. I would black out from this intense agony, but always keep waking up, and wishing I would not. They all seemed surprised about what they saw, and even more amazed that I was awake and looking at them, wild and desperate.
"This foul creature is still awake! It is indeed a demon!"
"Then we must do all we can to make it suffer!"
"Truly!"
Just as they were about to do the next horrid torture upon me...I hear the door open from above. For a moment, I am filled with hope, thinking that someone is coming to rescue me from this incredible pain, maybe it was even the man Maniel I had never seen. But as I saw these new men dressed in long swaying robes and carrying Christian crosses, I knew they too were not here to help.
"By the Good Lord in Heaven..." The bishop, I recognized him, looked as if he might be ill as he came upon the scene. Behind him were about ten other men, and one woman. The woman was the only one who looked horrified in a different manner.
I smelled the pity that came from her.
"We have to make sure no one discovers this." The Bishop then came over and chanted things as if I was truly a demon and he could exorcise me. Of course nothing happened, but he seemed satisfied.
Then he made a motion and I was released from the chains, and forced on my feet, where I was dragged back up the steps. All the while, I am still cut open, and though intenstines spilled forth as they carried me up, I still remained aware.
The next thing I know, I am in another dungeon, a secret one, in the bowels of the church. I am once more strung up in chains, but for some reason the metal plate is removed from my mouth. I had my one and only chance to speak to someone, and though the Bishop was there (the others had left for the time) with just the woman, he seemed too entranced with his incantations to bother with her. She came over to me, eyes still filled with pity.
"Help me..." I said to her. Her eyes widened, for perhaps she did not expect me to speak. She backed away one step.
"Help me please."
She backed away again, glancing at the Bishop then to me. But she did respond.
"You...you are a...demon! I cannot help you."
"I am no demon..." Why did they believe this? I truly did not fully understand.
"How can you not be?"
"Please, why are they doing this? What have I done?"
The woman looked confused. "They say you attack their children, for some have gone missing."
"Children?" The only place I had been was Annabelle's home in the tower, and the only children I ever saw were out of a window.
"I can do nothing for you."
I groaned, as a slight movement had sent lightning waves of pain throughout my entire being.
"Maybe...just bring water...a little water."
It seemed the lady could not think of a reason not to do this, so very slowly she moved and went to get some water from a large barrel, using an iron ladle. But just as she was about to bring the water to me, the Bishop saw and turned to her.
"What are you doing, woman?" He came over and snatched it from her, and I saw my only source of moisture go down the drain in the floor.
"Do not assist that foul creature, nor listen to it! He tells you lies, lies and nothing BUT lies, to deceive you!"
"That is not true!" I was trying to yell in protest, but it ended up sounding more like a whisper in my weakened state.
Still, the Bishop turned to me, face growing red hot. "Speak not to me, beast from hell! Alander!"
At that moment the man who responded to the call came down the stairs and I recognized him as the one who had started the torture. I tried growling at him in my building hatred, but even that failed me.
"What is it, Bishop?"
"Put a gag in that beast's mouth...I shall not listen to its deceptive tongue!"
The woman seemed to have had enough and she left the scene, though her one kind act was forever ingrained in my mind. I knew even then I would not share this same hatred towards women. I had no reason to.
Alander gagged me as instructed, then suddenly all of them were there, coming down the stairs, all 23 men including the Bishop. I knew I was in for it, that this was going to be bad, but I had no idea just HOW bad it was going to be.
"You, you would eat children and kill the innocent...you foul, disgusting, horrid creature from the lowest depths of hell...we will make certain you are punished for your wicked ways!"
I was shocked entirely by what this man said. If only he knew that he would be one of those responsible for MAKING me into such a beast as they thought I was.
It was then the 365 days of torture truly began.
Most of it I cannot remember, mercifully, because it seemed I blacked out for longer and longer periods. But I do remember some, and it was at times beyond anything the human words could describe.
Oh they would poke and prod at me with all sorts of sharp objects, cutting me open in every way imaginable, but then they would purposefully linger, twisting the knives inside of me, causing me to scream until I was hoarse and blood oozed from my raw throat. But this was tame compared to what came after.
Soon they were seeing just how much I could take, one of the worst things I remember was having some sort of hollow metal tube jammed down my throat so hard I swore it would tear through...and then having all sorts of liquids forced into me. I do not even know what they were, but for certain one was acid, for I could feel the agonizing burning for days.
When I looked as if I had been mauled by a group of one hundred tigers, they suddenly ceased one day, about maybe two weeks into it. I wondered what was going on, though how I could still wonder at all baffled me. I had gotten thin as a rail, bones showing everywhere, like I quite literally had skin just stretched over the bones with no flesh inbetween. My whole body just kept throbbing with a thousand pains, and would not cease. The sadness and fear was now leaving and becoming raw hatred and anger, but still it had not come as it would towards the end. And still I hoped for Annabelle, even though I knew she was dead...or maybe even May, that woman who tried to help me before the Bishop chased her out.
I remember distinctly one night, after having been sleeping very fitfully...more in a dazed stupor really...that I suddenly became very aware, catching a strong scent. I looked around but could not figure where it was coming from, until I heard familiar footsteps coming down the stairs. One single man came, a young lad probably no more then sixteen, carrying a wooden bucket. The smell coming from that bucket had me salivating, I knew what it was and I was becoming wild with the hunger that seemed to renew itself from nowhere. The trembling lad took a sharp spear, skewered something in the bucket, then brought it up to me. I do not think I would have cared whether this meat had been poisoned, drugged, both , or anything inbetween. I practically choked in my desperation to feed. The boy looked on in a mixture of wonder and fear, painstakingly repeating this until the bucket was empty.
I t was hardly enough. Finding my voice, I gave a low scream in protest that it had stopped. The boy grabbed the bucket and went upstairs, where I heard whispering, and I could make out.. "...yes, give him one more..." but nothing else.
I sincerely could have shouted with joy when that boy returned with another full bucket. I felt like a starving lion that was near death, suddenly coming upon a prey he had longed for for days. For me it was more like months.
Some of the pain actually started to cease, as my healing abilities kicked in. It was still hardly enough, but a bit of warmth surged through me at the strength regained.
My body screamed for more, I screamed for more, but the boy then left and that was that.
I was again left alone for that night. I wondered why they had done this. Perhaps I should not have bothered to wonder, for my answer came anyhow.
The next day, they were all back, and to my horror the torture resumed. It was even worse then the last time. One of the ones who had not touched me before now came, he seemed like some sort of early scientist, and he seemed like a twisted man indeed. I had never known terror until I had met this man. What he dreamed up of doing to me was far worse then any of the others. I came to know him only as Moren, and it would be a name I would loathe with utter hate forever.
Moren's first torture was to take a needle and poke at my eye...my only good one. This sent stinging shears of hot pain through my whole head, and I yelled and screamed, pleading for him to stop. But the man would only grin and continue, lightly at first, then plunging the needle in deeper. They seemed to relish the fact that I was in such suffering, and the other 22 who watched only encouraged him to continue. But it did not end there. He took other needles and proceeded to jab them in places that were very sensitive. My fingers, my ears, my nose...my genitals, anywhere that seemed to get the most reaction. However his favorite seemed to be the eye. He kept poking at it until I just literally shrieked at the top of my lungs. My pleading was never heard nor heeded, not by anyone. No matter what I said, no matter how I begged for mercy, I never got it. I began to realize it was hopeless, and I sank into a pit of depression. I wanted to die, I hoped to die.
But even death was not merciful to me, for I had been designed immortal.
After several days of torture they would repeat the feeding process, so that I would heal a bit, gain some strength back, then be tortured again. They did this so that I would stay awake and experience everything. I would try to resist, to try and refuse to eat, but I could not, no matter how hard I tried. The smell would always drive me crazy and demand the hunger to be fed. So I had no choice.
On and on it went...and as it went on...I became a different creature. I hardened like stone, learning not to scream at the tortures, a little at a time, and self-teaching meditation that just seemed to make me immune to pain. This angered the captors of course, and they would intensify the torturing, but even the Bishop was growing nervous at the new look in my eyes that must have indeed seemed evil. The hate grew, the want for revenge grew.
Finally, after 365 days, they seemed to grow bored of me. The Bishop came and declared that the "foul demon" could no longer stay in the church and must be sent back to where it came. I was to be burned at the stake. Somehow they thought that fire would destroy me, send me back to the hell they thought I came from.
I will never forget the experience of being burned "alive". They took me from the cellar, and all twenty three men dragged me to a bonfire all set up and ready to go. People from the village had come to witness, and they all screamed things at me of the same manner.
"Foul creature!"
"Destroy it, send it back to where it came from!"
"Horrid, ugly beast! It is a demon indeed!"
After a while, I tuned it all out. The men tied me to the stake, I barely being able to move due to my wrecked body, and they surrounded me with dried grass and twigs. Then one came with a torch and up it lit, surrounding me with heat so hot I could feel my blood literally starting to boil. I could not help but scream, this was a pain unlike any other. My flesh, whatever was left of it, started to fall away from the bones, my skin charred.
I was unable to scream after a time, and the crowd slowly dispersed, leaving me to my fate. I blacked out.
When the morning came, I was on the ground. How I got there I do not know. I felt tight all over, and when I moved I heard ripping sounds. I looked and saw that cooked, charred skin had cracked and torn where I had tried to move. With one eye barely functioning, I was able to make out in the distance the bonfire, smoking and black, with nothing left but a charred stake in the center. I tried again to move, fighting back all the pain best I could, and dragged myself along the ground. Where I was going I wasn't sure, but I knew what I was trying to find.
Coming upon a small puddle, for it had rained sometime during the night, I leaned down and drank in water until I thought I would burst. Amazingly, the water softened the skin enough that I felt I was able to stand. But when I did, I fell instantly as my knee gave way, cracking as if a dried piece of wood. Oddly, no pain came from this. Struggling with all my might, I continued to drag myself. The hunger that always existed within me suddenly went into overdrive, especially as I caught the scent of something familiar...
Moren.
MOREN. I would kill Moren. And every other one of those twenty three bastards who tortured me. A voice in the back of my head would agree, always urging me on.
"KILL." It would say. "EAT. REVENGE."
I crawled my way to Moren's house, a small stone building at the edge of the Dark Ages town. I could smell him, his wife, and his two small children in the house, along with a pot of what seemed like stew of some sort. The hunger roiled. I climbed up the side of the house, with strength that just seemed to find itself, and crawled through an open bedroom window. Inside, I came face to face with a young girl, who just woke up from a nap. It was his daughter, I knew instantly. Her eyes widened in terror...if I was scary before I must have been even more scary now...looking like a charred, reanimated corpse.
The girl was so scared she urinated upon herself, and her knees gave way. She tried to call for her mother, but nothing would come from her throat. I looked at her, and despite all, despite the hunger, the pain, and the voice in the back of my head urging me on...I could do no harm to her. I exited the room and went searching for my real intended victim. I found him in the kitchen, sitting at the table and waiting for his meal. His wife was in the adjacent room, stirring the pot and oblivious to my presence. Moren did not notice at first either, he was reading a book and smoking on a pipe. I wanted to do so many horrid things to him. But hunger came first. I simply lunged, grabbing him by the throat, holding him to the ground. A gurgled scream came from him when he saw me, his eyes wide with terror. I leaned down and bit into him, I did not care where, and for the first time tasted human flesh. It seemed wonderful, especially since I was ravenous already, and I began to feast on him. At that moment his wife came in at hearing the noise, and of course her own scream filled the house. I did not want to deal with this, so I simply grabbed Moren and ran out of the house. And I ran until I found a cave, not too far from the village. I knew instantly this would be my home, at least for the time being.
Back inside the cave, Moren was hurt but still alive. He pointed at me. "You, you are...dead...you...cannot..." I snarled and picked him up, holding him against the rocky wall. I searched his pockets, hoping I would find what I was looking for...and I did. His needles. There were only two, but that would be enough. I did not waste time in plunging one into each of his eyes. At this point the man collapsed after a rather pitiful, gargled scream.
I wanted to do more to him, but I could think of nothing but feasting. I ripped him open with my clawed feet and went for all the choice organs, savoring every bite. The strength was returning quickly, and each part consumed was a part replaced. When I was finally finished with Moren, as there was really nothing left of him to go further, I slowly walked out of the cave and sniffed the air. I would find those other twenty two individuals and get my revenge.
ALL of them.
And, indeed I did. I went and found every one, devouring whatever I cared to, and enjoying every moment of it.
At the end, I thought it was over. I wondered where I would go. Knowing Annabelle was dead, I no longer had anyone that cared for me. I decided to truly turn the cave into my home, taking some furniture from the victim's homes and using it there.
I settled in, feeling somewhat satisfied with the revenge I had taken on those who tortured me.
But the thing was, it never did end. That voice insisted I go and continue the hunt. But why? At this point I was fragile, on the verge of insanity. A tiny part of me, growing weaker by the day, told me it was over and to stay away from the humans, live in isolation. But another part insisted I have even more revenge and kill those who were not responsible, just because they may be friend or family.
This part ruled out. I found I enjoyed it anyhow, the hunt was a thrill. I used my artistic talent to create weapons, not really because I needed them but because they would be something to add to the fun, and certainly be useful.
Any good emotions I had left were fading fast. I had been brutally tortured for such a long time that I had only the hate and anger, that want for revenge, to grow on, and now it was consuming me. Surely but slowly, it would turn me into a being that was indeed akin to being demonic. I had no choice, I could not stop if I wanted, and part of me did not want to anyhow.
Goliathus seemed to finally be coming to the end of his story...
And so all the years of killing began. After a time, I think I even forgot why I was killing these humans. I knew they were innocent, having done nothing to me, and at times I could smell the confusion as well as their fear...just why was this creature doing this to them?
But it was always the hunger. The hunt. The thrill. I was being what they feared I was, and they had MADE me that being. And it went on that way for millenia...
"...until...until I came along." Ami said, having been remarkably silent throughout the whole story. Her eyes were bloodshot from tears, and yet, her eyes still showed nothing but love. She lowered her voice to a mere whisper. "Do I...do I perhaps remind you of that woman you spoke of? The kind one you called May?"
He nodded. You are much like her. Your heart is kind.
And so is yours, Gollie. Ami was so overwhelmed by this story that her body was shaking with sadness. He shook his head. It will be some time before I have a heart as kind as yours, Ami. She climbed up, and hugged him tight. You must understand, even if that is so, you have always been truly a good creature! You have! Whatever you became was because of what they did to you...I simply brought you back to your true being. He sniffed her, running clawed hands through her long hair. Always, always you speak truth...I am sorry for saying you would lie. Ami giggled, feeling better already by his words, and stroking his wingtips. Oh stop. I knew you didn't mean that. But I don't ALWAYS tell the truth G, I'm not perfect. I know that you want to go out, and you are right. I should trust you. And I will trust you, because I know your true heart.
He growled, but it was a pleasant growl that sent shivers down her spine. I do not understand how it is you can always send such raw desire surging through me. Ami blinked, grinning. So maybe you will take me up on my offer?
You play with fire. He growled once more, holding her tightly to him in a slightly rough manner. Ami only seemed to get aroused by this herself.
You do want you want. I am all yours right now.
/
End of Chapter 4