From Luna's Mind: (June 2011)
Oh… hi there… it would seem we're still out in space and things aren't looking so hot for us right now. Well, I guess technically they are since we're near that star, but I hope it doesn't explode. They do that sometimes when I'm around. Anyway, we're trying to get home and make contact with Earth, so hopefully we'll be able to do so without any other incidents…
Chapter 14: Space Cases, Part 2
DAY 7
Once Upon a Time, In a School In Outer Space
There was a class of misfit kids, from all around the place.
They're trapped aboard a mystery ship, and now have slipped through a spatial rift.
And now they're stuck on a long, dumb trip!
Genis Sage is a little brat, ("HEY!")
Sharfiah-Latifah is really big and fat. ("QUACK!")
Hermione's helpless as a fawn, ("AM NOT!")
Ron never knows what's going on. ("SOD OFF!")
Tak is skanky, slightly whorish ("I'LL KILL YOU!")
Harry's tactless, very boorish ("SHUT UP!")
Snape's hair is so very greasy and diseeaasseed... ("FIFTY POINTS FROM FENCE!")
THEY'RE SPAAAAAAAACE CASES!
"Damn!" hissed Ginny. "That defiantly came from Earth, but I can't get a lock on who it was."
"They'd better watch who they continue to insult," observed Harry. "And if they're from Fence, they will face our wrath when we get home."
"Don't say stuff like that, mate," said Ron. "You're starting to sound like Gaz."
"Heaven help me," Harry said, looking alarmed.
"I'm going to try and re-lock to that," said Ginny, furiously bashing away at her keypad.
"Lloyd," said Dib from the monitoring area. "We finally have all ship functions back online after our drill the other day. The faulty Aqua Purifier on Deck E finally works correctly and the broken lights on Deck B are now repaired."
"Thanks for the useless information," Lloyd said. "Care to give the weather as well?"
"There's no weather in space, silly," said Peaches, who was dusting off the console Ginny normally worked at.
"That's the whole point, Peaches, it's called sarcasm," said Harry, shaking his head.
"I wasn't programmed with that," replied the ever-cheery Peaches. "But that's alright, I can try and write a new program…"
"Don't do that," said Ron, becoming as horrified as Harry. "We already have one faulty machine around here, we don't need another."
"And what would that be?" asked Colette as she cleared out the dirty uniforms from the area and placed them into the washer unit which was, for whatever reason, located on the Bridge.
"Gaz's GameSlave is still acting up," said Ginny in a low voice. "It ruptured an oxygen tube on Deck D today and nearly killed half the people in the Sick Bay."
"You mean we haven't gotten them healed yet?" complained Ron. "This ship should be able to cure anything."
"I think Zim's faking, actually," said Peaches. "But Snape still has a big bump and the fork that Iggins somehow managed to jam into his arm seems to have joined his body. Removal might be more complicated than we expected."
"And I assume our Archives and Research friends haven't found anything?" sighed Lloyd.
"Nothing but ship functions and various things about supernovae in the area. We had to tear that one out of Raine's hands before she'd look at anything else," said Peaches.
A bleep sounded through the ship. This was the new intercom system discovered the previous day. It allowed far more effective communication between the different parts of the ship.
"Hello, Bridge," came Tak's voice. "This is the Engineering department."
"What's your status, Tak?" asked Lloyd, happily piloting the ship past a meteor streaking in the other direction.
"Well Zim has finally finished the circuitry to reroute power to the weapons and shields. In the event of an emergency, we will be able to send all power from non-essential systems to our combat systems. And our engines continue to run at full capacity; the Vishpleegoo is still at a percent of eighty-six, based on my calculations," Tak said, quickly.
"Anything else?" asked Lloyd, still careening into various places that he shouldn't be.
"Professor Verminstrasser popped in a minute ago and informed us that they're going to use Deck B for a Level 19 Simulation, as she called it. She said to ignore any warnings of system failures since the girls need to learn how to survive without oxygen or something like that," affirmed Tak.
"Understood. Thank you, Tak," said Lloyd.
"Call us if you need us," replied her voice.
"At least things have been quiet the past few days," said Harry. "No drama, no violence, no near-fatal collisions with stars…"
"Don't you remember the other day when we almost slammed into the Giddy Star? That new one that Colette got to name?" Ginny gasped. "I thought we were goners."
"I knew we'd miss it," Colette said, smiling. "It looked like too much of a happy star to hurt us."
"All done," said Peaches, dusting her "hands" off. "The Bridge is spotless."
"Thanks, ladies. Same time tomorrow?" suggested Ron, hopefully.
"Of course," they said, smiling and flouncing away.
The Archives Area.
"I can't believe how much we've learned about this in the past four days!" cried Raine, who was still going strong through the research materials. "We haven't even touched on the geography of this galaxy yet but I can still name all 308 stars in our vicinity!"
"Some of the clothing these people from different alien races wear is rather interesting," said Sheena, smiling and gazing at a foreign dress with plenty of hidden pockets for money and weapons. "They're not afraid to show off their bodies."
"I think I recall seeing something about a secret wardrobe when I searched the ships' schematics for a secondary library hinted to in The Starship Manual, 438th Edition. But I may be mistaken," Hermione said vaguely.
"Sheena, you should be working on ways to lock-on to signals, just in case we get another message from earth," scolded Raine.
"I'm sorry," said Sheena. "I didn't realize we were under a Nazi regime here."
Raine threw a book at her, but Sheena ducked. The door behind her opened and Presea, Gaz, and Luna entered. Luna caught the book and immediately sat on the ground, reading it happily. The other two bad-temperedly went to an unread section and opened a few books, without so much as a word.
"Um… need some help?" asked Sheena, tentatively.
"No!" snapped Gaz, riffling through an old-fashioned book with a temper. "I gotta figure out how to fix this stupid contraption before I shove it into Iggins' eye sockets."
"Still malfunctioning? I thought you fixed it with that new code I found yesterday," said Raine.
"It stopped the random missile firing," said Gaz. "But it still gets stuck on certain weapons and occasionally BSoDs on me."
"BSoD?" asked a confused Hermione.
"Blue Screen of Death. A common ailment associated with machines. Immediate system failure and termination of all running processes. Peaches and Master Computer are also susceptible to it," replied Presea robotically.
"How did your tests go today?" asked Raine. "Without life support, I mean?"
"Oxygen is for the weak-minded," said Gaz, dismissively. "We all passed."
"That's good," said Raine, returning to a nearby laptop. "I wonder if this little section on nuclear fission can show some insight on the way this ship operates…?"
"Not possible," said Presea. "Tak explained it already to Zelos and the others in Engineering. It is beyond our capability to understand."
"Well," said Raine snootily. "I will not stop researching until I find my answer."
The door opened again and this time Genis and Regal entered, both removing their aprons and hats. They were deep in discussion about something kitchen-related so nobody bothered them as they went toward a section that was digitally labeled "Cooking" (Raine had found a digital labeler and had labeled everything on Decks C to E before it finally ran out).
"What's up with you two? Why aren't you in the kitchen?" asked Sheena curiously.
"I left Iggins and Professor Trelawney in charge of lunch," said Regal, accessing a console.
"That means anyone who eats is probably going to wind up dead before second shift," said Hermione in a low voice.
"You may be right. But we found this secret cupboard of all these alien spices. We're trying to figure out how to use them," said Genis. "Some taste rather good and some are alive I think."
"I'd say ask Gir. He'd know about that," suggested Luna.
Hermione stood up suddenly, glancing frightfully at her watch, "I'm late," she said, sighing.
"Where are you going?" inquired Raine.
"Physical therapy. Neville wanted to make sure my toe healed properly with that stuff," said Hermione. "Be back for second shift."
"Alright," said Raine. "I think tomorrow we'll start implementing classes into our work schedule."
"Sounds delightful," said Hermione with a genuine smile as she exited. Everyone else looked vaguely ill.
The Sick Bay.
"Okay, so, Girtrude," said Neville as he walked along the Sick Bay. "I've seen Iggins already and we've got a new cast for his fork arm. Zim is still complaining, Snape is still out of it… have I anything else to do today?"
"Hermione is gonna come so you can break her toe again," said Girtrude, chewing on a corner of the clipboard.
"Er… right…" said Neville. "I was kinda joking when I said that. Oh well. Ah, Hermione!"
Hermione had just walked in, dragging a bag of files with her. She smiled and waved, looking flushed. Neville walked her over to a small area in the sickbay with two beds. One was empty; the other contained Professor Snape who was smiling merrily at the ceiling, a look of utmost joy on his face.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Hermione in a low voice.
"After he hit his head he's been kinda screwy. I can't figure out how to get him back to normal, either," said Neville in a whisper. "Just ignore him, he'll be alright soon. Although none of the things I've tried work on him."
"Are you alright, Professor?" Hermione asked quietly.
"Row, row, row you're boat, gently down the stream…" sang Snape. "Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is not my dream!"
"Improperly quoting Muggle Nursery Rhymes," Neville said. "Girtrude, add that to the already extensive symptom list."
"Righty-tighty!" squealed Girtrude, doing as he was commanded.
"So, Neville, how does my toe look?" asked Hermione.
"Well…" said Neville, taking a quick x-ray. "It looks like it healed perfectly though part of your nail seems to be a silver color. Girtrude, analyze!"
"Aighty-mighty!" Girtrude sang, doing so. "… Um… it's… uh… … … it's silver."
"Add that to the side-effects list," ordered Neville.
"Kitey-Bitey," said Girtrude.
"You screwed around with his mind, didn't you?" Hermione accused.
"Only the rhyming area. I think I spilled some coffee into it," Neville admitted as Girtrude flew into a wall and onto Snape's head (he immediately began to sing Humptey-Dumpety).
The Bridge.
"I've got it!" cried Ginny, standing up from her console. "I've got the signal!"
"The reading from it is extremely strong," said Dib. "I've locked us on."
"Very good, children," said Ms. Bitters. "It only took you 181 hours, 15 minutes, and 21 seconds. You all get 30 points for each of your houses and a cookie."
"Yes!" cried Harry and Ron.
"I love cookies," Colette said, smiling and entering.
"You didn't do anything. You don't get a cookie," Ms. Bitters scolded.
"Oh…" said Colette, looking momentarily sad.
"Incoming message," said Ginny. "But I've got the area now. Dib is rerouting the coordinates to you, Harry."
"Understood," said Harry, checking his own console. "Wow, we were only off by sixteen million miles. Not too shabby."
"Display message on screen," commanded Lloyd.
"Aye, sir," said Ginny, pressing a few buttons.
On the display screen in front of them, static appeared. Then a flash of a small area with three people, one facing the screen, and a lyrics sheet. The same theme music that had accompanied them in the previous transmissions returned. Everyone groaned.
Once Upon a Time, In a School In Outer Space
There was a class of misfit kids, from all around the place.
They're trapped aboard a mystery ship, and now have slipped through a spatial rift.
And now they're stuck on a long, dumb trip!
Presea swings her ax of death,
Verminstrasser hates with every breath.
Neville's real easy to scare,
Ginny's never in despair.
Dib has unrivaled devotion,
Snape will not mix you a potion.
Master Computer has a taste for blooooodddd….
THRY'RE SPAAAAAAAACE CASES!
"I'm really getting sick of that song," muttered Lloyd.
"Who are you?" gasped Ginny, still staring at the screen.
The static returned and it showed the same three people as before. A pale, brown-haired boy sat facing the screen and working on a computer. He had just been telling a girl with blonde hair behind him how they finally had a lock on the ship and that maybe it would work this time. He looked up, saw them, and smiled.
"Hey everyone," said the boy, smiling. "It's been a while."
"Are you on earth? What's going on? Where's Klorb? Can we get home? How'd you find us? Who the hell are you?" The questions came like crazy and the boy merely chuckled. The other two (the blonde girl and the tanned boy with dark hair) made their way to the console so that all of their faces were close together.
"I'm on earth, of course," he said. "My name's Matt. I'm a transfer student to Whitestone. And we're doing everything we can to get you home as soon as we can. We've been in close contact with a few friendly alien races who are trying to get you home."
"What about earth? What's the status of our home planet?" Dib asked dramatically.
"Oh… it's fine here," Matt replied, shrugging. "I think Klorb had a bridge dropped on him because we haven't seen him since he dashed into the city to attempt a takeover. But we have the state of Arkansas on high alert; a friend of mine is currently the dictatress and she's given orders for all her subjects to shoot anything green in the area."
"Um… I see…" said Dib, frowning. "Since when is Arkansas a dictatorship?"
"Since June 28th, 2006," replied Matt, smiling. "By the way, meet Emily and Steffen, friends of mine. We'll be working on getting you home until you're here."
"Sounds good. So when will we meet these alien races that are going to help us?" queried Lloyd.
"What are you talking about?" asked Steffen. "You're being escorted right now."
"What? No, we're all alone out here," frowned Ron. "You must have the wrong people."
"No," said Emily, returning to her little station. "According to our data from this super computer thing, you're being escorted by two humungous ships. You don't see them? What's your radar set on?"
"It's set on… basic…" said Dib, heart stopping. "You don't think…?"
"Switch it to advanced, immediately," said Matt, paling. "You've got two huge ships flanking you. They may be enemies."
"Do it," said Lloyd.
Sure enough, Ginny flipped a switch on one of the consoles. The people on the Bridge gasped. Flanking them were indeed two gigantic starships looking more than capable of destroying the Building B with one laser blast. Worse, the moment they were spotted by the school, their lasers began to charge.
"Get us out of here! EMERGENCY RE-ROUTING!" shouted Lloyd.
"We'll cut out so you can save energy," Matt said. "And we're dispatching whatever we can to help you. But the rest is up to you."
"Understood," said Harry. "Go!"
"Gone," Matt said, closing the channel.
"Irving, this is your first true test. Avoid those lasers at all costs," commanded Ms. Bitters.
"Got it," said Lloyd, "Engineering, EMERGENCY RE-ROUTING OF POWER!"
"We heard you the first time," complained Tak, her voice strained "Give us a moment, will ya? This is complicated…"
"Weapon charge at fifty percent," said Ron, nervously. "Do something, Lloyd."
"Suggest a hyperspace jump," said the voice of the Master Computer. "I can get you a little bit closer to earth but it's a long shot. We might lose a few systems in the process."
"Vital systems?" inquired Dib.
"Do you consider hot coffee a vitality?" replied Master Computer.
"Well… hm… alright, do it," said Lloyd. "Prepare to jump. All units, prepare for jump!"
The bridge people secured themselves to their stations. In the Archives area, the confused and alarmed knowledge-seekers quickly secured what they could and took brace positions. In the kitchen, Iggins ran around like a chicken with its wings cut-off and Professor Trelawney lay sprawled out across a countertop, a bottle of space sherry tumbling out of her hands. In the Sick Bay, Girtrude and Neville battened down everyone who needed it.
"It seems like I'm always here whenever something bad happens," said Hermione as she secured herself to the wall with a special harness.
"That's 'cuz you've got a bushy head!" screamed Girtrude, tightening Zim's straps far too much.
"Can't… respirate…" gagged Zim. "Losing… brain cells… coma…"
"Professor Snape, are your binds tight enough?" asked Neville, making sure his head was immobile.
"Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, I want you in my room… let's spend the night together from now until forever!" Snape sang with his eyes crossed.
"Girtrude, make sure to make a note," said Neville as he himself prepared for the jump. "Professor Snape has moved into Venga Boys music. This is getting more and more serious by the moment."
"Aye-aye, Captain!" shouted Girtrude, randomly punching a button on the wall (a probe attached itself to Zim's head and shocked him very violently).
"Sick Bay ready, Lloyd," Neville called into a speaker.
"Got it, Neville," answered Ginny. "All areas of the ship are ready, Lloyd."
"Alright… Tak, let us know…" said Lloyd nervously.
"Cannons charged at 93 percent!" cried Ron. "Lloyd, go!"
"Ready in Engineering, Lloyd!" cried Tak.
"Engage!" shouted Lloyd, thrusting forward on the control panel.
The ship shot forward with a violent, wrenching motion that tossed everyone around slightly (or majorly for those who weren't properly secured). A loud crash came from the ship as anything that wasn't bolted down was thrown backward one again. Raine shrieked as three computers smashed upon impact with the ground. She then fainted in her restraints and everyone around her sighed, momentarily forgetting that they were being chased.
Meanwhile, the enemy ships, not expecting such a small vessel to be able to jump forward so far so quickly, let the lasers go at the same time and the resulting explosion heavily damaged one another. Furious, the captains radioed for back-up and gave chase.
"I can't believe we didn't see them. I wonder how long they've been following us?" said Ginny breathlessly.
"For a few days I expect," said Dib. "Those were Blorkin ships, very advanced and territorial. We must've been in their airspace."
"Blorkin? I wonder if the Irken Armada has tried to fight them yet…" pondered Harry.
"Not yet," said Tak, entering at just the right moment. "They're on our list for conquest. Invader Flick is due for that one unless I'm mistaken."
"Damage report. How is everything, everyone?" asked Lloyd into the speaker.
"The Sick Bay is still fully operational," said Neville. "No injuries except an equipment malfunction for Zim…"
They heard Zim screaming in pain in the background, followed by a violent shocking noise.
"Archives?" Lloyd asked.
They were answered with Sheena assuring them that everyone was really okay, although Raine's sobs almost drowned her out. Sheena told them not to ask and hung up.
"Kitchen?" asked Lloyd tentatively.
"Um… hi Lloyd… it's Colette," came the reply. "Well Professor Trelawney is unconscious from something alcoholic and Iggins is bleeding from the forehead and ear."
"Is Peaches with you?" asked Harry, wondering where the suit had gone.
"Well… you could say that," said Colette, laughing nervously. "She saw Iggins' blood and passed out. Can someone come help me move them? They're kinda heavy…"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll send someone down," grouched Lloyd. "Just stay there and don't touch anything."
"You got it," said Colette, cheerfully.
"Matt? Are you all there?" asked Ginny, re-opening a channel to Earth.
"Yeah, we're still here. It's a good thing you guys got away," said Matt. "Those Blorkin guys are seriously bad news."
"But we have some worse news," said Steffen. "They called for back-up. You'll probably have quite a few on you soon."
"What? We gotta go, Lloyd! Full blast or whatever!" cried Zelos, having just entered with Kratos and Professor Verminstrasser.
"We can't do that," Tak argued, over the speaker. "After a violent, unplanned jump like that we're going to have to run at 80% power while I make sure nothing was damaged."
"But we're going to get shot at!" Ron shouted, "We can't just sit here!"
"Relax," said Emily from the screen. "We've already taken precautions. You've got a displacer that puts you a few million miles away on radar from your actual location. Don't worry about that. And besides, your jump put you out of the Blorkin territory. So you should be fine."
"However," Matt interjected. "You're now in Covenant territory."
"The Covenant? The rival race that is challenging us in galactic conquest?" Tak gasped. "They're on the other side of the galaxy from us, thank Wooril, but we haven't got a hope of beating them if they catch us in force!"
"I wouldn't worry about them either," said Steffen with a mischievous grin. "They're having a small pest control problem, courtesy of Earth, and he's giving them quite an annoyance. Besides, we've got help on the way for you guys."
"Yes. You'll rendezvous with the Kel'hetze and Star Fox units in approximately eighteen hours if you continue on your current course," said Matt, "Professor Verminstrasser? I suggest you run training simulations A-234, B-38, and G-1810 for the defense team. You might want to include a few others in B-38 as well."
"Understood," said Verminstrasser. "We begin at once."
"And as for the rest of you, make sure you've got your weapons handy. Although we've taken all the precautions we can to ensure you don't get attacked, we can't protect against sheer bad luck," Emily warned. "And the Kel'hetzes have assured us that magic is viable in Space. Don't worry about that."
"YES!" cried Harry, Ron, Ginny, Dib, Tak, and Zelos.
"We'll contact you if you have any other issues," said Matt. "We will hopefully see you soon."
"Thanks. Later," said Lloyd, allowing Ginny to close the channel.
"How… why… you know what… screw it," said Ginny. "Let's just try and meet with those people being dispatched. If we can get there before the rendezvous time, maybe we can get out of here quicker."
"You're right. Run your tests, Tak," said Lloyd. "Let's get out of here as soon as possible."
"I'm on it," said Tak, sprinting from the room.
"The rest of us, let's go help Colette so she doesn't strain herself again," Lloyd said, sighing and leaving.
Back on Earth…
"How is it that they got them?" Matt asked Emily and Steffen as they sat at their computers, ignoring the rain falling overhead.
"I'm not sure. We've had them marked for weeks. Why didn't our radars tell us that those were Blorkin ships, not Kel'hetze?" Steffen wondered aloud.
"I re-wrote the program in hopes that it'll pick up better this time," said Matt. "But this doesn't change the fact that we need to find a better way for them all to get home."
"Oh hell no!" Emily suddenly hissed at her screen, then turning to the other two. "Guys, more bad news…"
"What now?" groaned Steffen.
"The Covenant just made a U-ie in the middle of the Dormir Nebula. They're headed right for Building B," said Emily, pointing to her radar screen.
Sure enough, a huge mass of red had stopped their normal flight pattern and shot straight for where the Building B actually was. They completely ignored the displaced ship on the radar, going right for the actual ship itself.
"I'll warn them," Matt said, knocking over his chair in a rush. "We've got to… oh damn…"
The signal was being blocked by the Covenant. There was no way Matt could establish a connection with the people aboard the ship. At the rate they were going, the Covenant would intercept the Building B in approximately seventeen hours and four minutes. And they wouldn't be any the wiser.
"How did they do that? There's no way… unless…" Matt said, accessing a new panel. He gasped.
"What is it?" asked the others, walking over.
"They are sending the signal out! Somebody on the Building B is turning them over to the Covenant and everything else! There's a traitor in their midst," Matt said.
Back on Building B…
It was ten hours after the first attack on the Building B. The Sick Bay had finally been cleared of everyone except Zim (who was still recovering from the malfunctions), Iggins (who was being treated for multiple body traumas), Professor Trelawney (who was suffering from severe alcohol poisoning), Peaches (who had crashed and was being rebooted by Master Computer), and of course Snape (who had progressed to singing campfire songs and doing imitations of Miss Piggy and Animal from the Muppets, causing Luna great displeasure).
Professor Verminstrasser and Ms. Bitters had run the girls through numerous tests involving the piloting of vehicles of all alien races, and the entire un-incapacitated crew had received a crash course in the various weapons located on the ship. Raine, Kratos, and Hermione had run all the magic-users through a quick review of offensive magic and how to cast it, thus proving that magic would not be impaired in space, even Earth magic.
Regal, aided by everyone who wasn't vital to the Bridge or doing something else, sent the kitchen into mass-production of all foodstuffs and medicines. If they were to do battle, it was likely some systems would be shut down or lost, so preparedness was key. All sorts of fruits, veggies, meats, potatoes, and pies were cooked, boxed, and placed in Stasis containers to prevent spoilage.
As it reached the tenth hour, the spent crew gathered in the Bridge for a final meeting before they were allotted six hours of sleep to recuperate. Raine quickly restored any and all injuries and each head of the department gave a quick report on how they were ready to go and Neville informed them that the Sick Bay would be on high alert. Finally, they went to sleep, expecting to be rescued in eight hours.
Five hours and forty-five minutes later, everyone was jolted awake by sirens. Horrified, the students pulled on their clothing and ran to the Bridge once more to check the radar. At first, they thought it was a malfunction, but then it became apparent that the huge mass of red on the radar was a fleet of ships coming to destroy them; not a glitch in the system.
"All hands to battle stations!" roared Professor Verminstrasser. "Engineers, Bridge Operators, and Sick Bay caregivers, lock-down your stations immediately and prepare for emergency maneuvers. Interception in approximately ten minutes!"
"Try and open a communication with them, Ginny," shouted Harry, ignoring the other students as they fled the Bridge to help with the various areas (all non-essential people were reporting to the Sick Bay; Luna, Gaz, and Presea were to lock-down Deck A, Deck D, and Deck E, respectively).
"Alright," said Ginny, but then she yelled back. "No good! They're responding but in a language I can't translate."
"I'll do it," said Master Computer from the ceiling. "They say… oh… wait, it's obscene. But let's just say they're going to… uh… do certain things to you…"
"Over my dead body," said Lloyd, taking control and steering them in a slight direction away from the oncoming area.
"Attention all crew members. Remember were your emergency escape pods are located," said Ms. Bitters into a microphone. "And remember: your lives depend on your passage of this test. If you fail, we die."
"That's comforting. Way to get everyone in the right frame of mind," muttered Ron.
"This is not the time," hissed Dib. "We've got the first wave moving ahead."
"Analyzing ship stats," said Zim from Engineering. "We've got Banshees at eight o'clock, moving in fast."
"And the next wave will be here about two minutes later. They've got ghosts. Are they planning to board us?" exclaimed Ginny.
"They won't get past me," said Luna in a very cheerful voice, cocking a twelve gauge as she said it. "I'm packing heat."
"Neville, do you have burn kits ready? The banshee fires energy-based weapons and it may severely burn the skin," said Hermione over the public intercom.
"Yep," said Neville. "And Professor Snape just informed me that his toenails were on fire. Judging by the language type he's using, I think he's wishing us luck."
"Get off the damn radio!" shouted Tak. "We need this for emergencies."
"Very good, Tak," said Ms. Bitters. "Ten points to Iko Iko."
"Bitch, please," said Girtrude, though for no apparent reason.
"I've got another message from Earth!" cried Ginny. "Wait… … it says… Benedict Arnold?"
"Whose it from?" asked Dib.
"Earth. Matt and Emily and Steffen sent it… what does it mean?" asked the confused girl.
"We need someone to analyze a message. It may have been hidden to block the sensors on the Covenant's vessels. Raine, Hermione, Sheena, if you will please report to the Bridge?" requested Harry.
"On our way," said Raine.
"DON'T MOVE!" cried Presea over the intercom. "Gaz and I will escort you. We're going to be in combat soon and it would be wise for you to have some protection."
"Meanwhile, Ronald, prepare the ships' defenses," commanded Ms. Bitters. "We don't want to get caught by surprise."
"Aye, ma'am," said Ron, quickly preparing the shields and such.
Outside…
The first banshees closed in within minutes. They knew their target was going to be slower than anything they had and their jumping capabilities were laughable. The Blorkin were not difficult to evade by any stretch of the imagination. Not only that, but they were in pursuit as well. It looked as though there would be plenty of conquests taking place at this area. And with the Demon banished, it seemed there would be very little resistance at all.
They swooped in, firing rapidly on the ship. They laughed in victory, watching a few bricks rip off the side and fly into space. But their laughs were replaced with gasps as three hidden cannons extended from the top part and began to fire on them. They turned out of the way and regrouped before a second offensive was launched. This time, it was a large laser that completely obliterated the ships before they had any chance to make a new attack.
Inside the ship, they felt the jolts as the energy shots hit them, but nothing major was altered. All systems operated at near-full capacity. The second wave came in with more fury, but their shots were rebounded by shields placed around the vital areas, such as the Bridge and Decks D and E. One shot hit the area near the Archives and caused a small explosion within. Raine, Sheena, and Hermione happened to be going right by there with Gaz, Presea, and Colette (who had randomly decided to join), and they all screamed and dove to the floor, avoiding the flying knowledge bits.
"The KNOWLEDGE!" wailed Raine, clutching a broken laptop.
"Snap out of it, Raine!" hissed Sheena. "I've got a translator device."
"Continuing progress required," said Presea. "Odds of survival decreasing at a .05% rate every third second."
"Come on!" Gaz shouted, her GameSlave at the ready. "We've still got four floors to go."
Bridge
"Wave three… incoming," said Ginny, quickly checking her radars. "I see lots of purple ships of large size. They're dropping creatures into space on those stupid banshees."
"Kamikaze attack, watch out!" shouted Ron, pointing toward the starboard side.
One alien had piloted his ship directly in a crash-course for the Building B. The smaller ship collided and sent a huge shudder throughout the building. The girls shrieked and many of the boys yelled, with nearly everything being knocked to the floor. The windshield was cracked, but there was no penetration. The alien clung to the window, a smirk on his face, a plasma rifle in his hand. Suddenly, a red shot came flying out of nowhere and he was sent flying off into space.
"I see Gaz has managed to get her Communist Laser Unit to work," said Ms. Bitters. "You've done well, Countess."
"Yes," said Verminstrasser. "But I must away to a different deck. The fates are telling me that bad things are about to occur."
She teleported away without a word. The rest of the Bridge continued to monitor the situation and became alarmed when Ginny announced the mother ships were taking on full combat positions. As their lasers charged up, Lloyd initiated a quick defensive maneuver, though it wasn't perfect and a hole appeared on Deck C due to the shot.
"Oh no!" Harry cried. "Deck C has been infiltrated! Air pressure lost… and enemies are dropping in!"
"Attention all hands," cried Ron into an intercom. "Avoid Deck C at all costs; it's been hit and is now taking in hostilities. Defenders, please report there and exterminate the threat."
"Wow, Ron, you've been studying your intercom dialect textpacket, haven't you?" Hermione replied in an approving voice.
"HEY! Who do I have to KILL to get you guys to listen to me?" Tak snarled. "This is for emergencies only. Now shut up, I'm going to try and get rid of some of those people in Deck C. Just ignore any bigger crashes unless I say to be concerned…"
A large crash was heard and the ship jolted violently once more. Everyone was silent and a few smiled slightly when they saw a few Covenant aliens tossed out the side. But then there was a larger explosion from the bow end and a whole section of the roof sheared off.
"Easy, Tak," muttered Dib under his breath. "I want to study this ship more when we get to Earth…"
"Okay… concern is good," said Tak in a worried voice. "That wasn't me and we've suddenly had a 20% reduction in speed."
"What?" cried Harry. "Lloyd, do something!"
"I'm doing everything I can to avoid the shots!" replied Lloyd as many banshees flew by the windows. "What else can I do?"
"Send in the Calvary," said Ms. Bitters. "Luna, assemble the others with flight capabilities. It's time to fight back a little bit."
"Sweet," said Luna. "What model should we prepare to fly?"
"We'll capture some Model T-Bone3800s for you," said Ms. Bitters. "Now go. We have some work to do."
"I'm on it," said Luna, cheerfully skipping out and forcing the door to lock with a loud noise.
"Now what?" asked Dib.
"Get me in touch with Tak," said Ms. Bitters. "Private channel. No eavesdropping on pain of castration."
"Channel established," said Ginny. "You're on, Ms. Bitters."
"Good girl. BRB," she said, opening a camera phone and walking into the corridor.
"Guys, there's even more!" cried Lloyd as the massive amount of ships seemed to double in size.
"Do something!" shouted Ron. "Anything!"
"Evasive maneuvers continuing. Ron, why aren't people shooting back?" asked Lloyd.
"… oh, right… that's my job to assemble them…" muttered Ron.s "Well… the weapon controls are in the Rec room, so I'll try contacting the Sick Bay."
"You never cease to amaze me with your stupidity, Ron," complained Ginny.
Deck D Corridor
"Nice shooting, Gaz," Hermione complimented Gaz as they watched the alien fly off the bridge. "What was that red laser?"
"A Communist Laser Unit," said Gaz. "And I think I have a hunch as to why my GameSlave has been retarded lately. Give me a few minutes to figure this out as we progress."
"We haven't gotten anywhere," said Sheena. "Between your sniping and Raine's blubbering, we'll never make it."
"Quit your complaining," said Gaz. "Let's go."
They proceeded to an airlock with stairs inside of it. They could hear the sounds of battle; the ship getting hit, the bricks breaking. However, as they mounted the stairs, a massive explosion issued from above them and the stairs were blown apart, showering them with bits of debris and metal (which they all avoided, thankfully).
"What the hell was that?" cried Sheena.
"Attention all hands!" came Ron's voice over the personal intercoms. "Avoid Deck C at all costs; it's been hit and is now taking in hostilities. Defenders, please report there and exterminate the threat."
Hermione was ecstatic for some reason. "Wow, Ron, you've been studying your intercom dialect textpacket, haven't you?"
"HEY!" Tak shouted. "Who do I have to KILL to get you guys to listen to me? This is for emergencies ONLY. Now shut up, I'm going to try and get rid of some of those people in Deck C. Just ignore any bigger crashes unless I say to be concerned…"
"She's so rude," commented Hermione, frowning. "But if we're supposed to avoid Deck C, how are we going to make it to the Bridge?"
"I don't know, but…" Colette began to say but she happened to look right and shriek as there was a huge alien monster smirking at her through a thick, glass wall. However, the smug look turned to one of terror when a huge explosion sounded throughout the stairwell and the alien was violently ripped out of the wall and back into space.
"Well that was convenient. I suppose that was Tak, so let's proceed with caution…" Raine said.
They cautiously made their way up the destroyed stairwell. It was very difficult, especially in the section where eight stairs in a row had been torn apart. Luckily, they made it past there and were just about to enter Deck B when the second explosion rocked the building with even more force.
"My Lord, Tak," said Raine, catching herself. "That's a little extreme, isn't it?"
""Okay… concern is good," came Tak's worried voice. "That wasn't me and we've suddenly had a 20% reduction in speed."
"What?" Hermione wailed. "At that rate, the Covenant will take us over in no more than thirty minutes!"
"We must decode that message," said Sheena. "Hurry, let's get moving."
They continued along Building B, forced to take an alternate route because the debris that had torn off the front of the building were now jammed inside the stairwell, rendering it impassible. They were about to use the lift when the doors opened and Luna appeared, smiling and pointing a shotgun at them.
"Oh, sorry," she said brightly, putting the gun's barrel down. "I thought you were Covenant scumbags and I was going to have to blow your brains all over the ceiling."
"Well… we're not…" said Hermione in a panicked voice, her face pale. "S-so don't do that again, alright…?"
"No problem. Gaz, Luna, Verminstrasser wants us ready to hijack some T-Bone3800's."
"SWEET!" the other two girls cried, leaping into the lift and pressing the down arrow.
"Wait, who is going to escort us?" asked Sheena.
"Your problem now," said Gaz just as the doors closed.
"Let's just open a private connection and analyze it from here," said Raine, dialing the number on her private intercom. "Ginny? Raine here. Send me the message, we'll decode from this area."
"Professor, Deck B is unprotected. I'll at least send you some aid…"
"Do what you must. I'll be here if you need us," said Raine, quickly taking up a defensive corner with the others.
Deck D: Sick Bay
"Looks like we're still okay," said Neville, looking around the room.
Snape, Trelawney, Zim, and Iggins took up four of the ten beds in the Sick Bay. Girtrude remained at her post in the front of the Sick Bay, listening to music with headphones plugged in. Genis and Regal watched the battle from one of the small windows.
"We have no protection now," said Neville. "Gaz went with Presea to escort Hermione, Raine, and Sheena. If it comes to it, we'll have to defend ourselves."
"Fantastic," said Genis sarcastically. "I'm glad to know we'll be able to fight off the hordes when they come in."
"Well I don't think it'll be that bad," said Neville, fairly. "You've got an arsenal of magic, Regal has plenty of martial arts, we have two professional wizards and myself, and a robot who no doubt has plenty of fun weapons hidden within his or her body."
"Oh yes. Snape, by the way, how are you?" asked Genis, looking at the Potions professor.
"Oh, God… I can't… you know… the monkeys… they're… yeah… eating my spleen…" said Snape gesturing frantically at his internal organs.
"Oh yes," repeated Genis. "Snape's a big help."
"And Professor Trelawney has a hangover. Zim is still suffering from convulsions now and again from the electricity. And setting off Girtrude's weapons in an enclosed space is a very foolish idea," Regal added.
"You know," complained Neville. "You guys make it really hard to remain optimistic."
This was followed by a massive explosion that rocked everyone around. Genis, Regal, and Neville hit the floor; Snape, Trelawney, and Iggins began to screech like girls, and Zim began to rant about inferior human defenses before another convulsion quieted him. Girtrude continued to bob her head to the music like nothing had happened.
"What the heck was that?" asked Genis, standing.
"Attention all hands," came Ron's voice. "Avoid Deck C at all costs; it's been hit and is now taking in hostilities. Defenders, please report there and exterminate the threat."
"Wow, Ron, you've been studying your intercom dialect textpacket, haven't you?" came a reply from Hermione
"HEY! Who do I have to KILL to get you guys to listen to me?" came Tak's furious response. "This is for emergencies ONLY. Now shut up, I'm going to try and get rid of some of those people in Deck C. Just ignore any bigger crashes unless I say to be concerned…"
There was a crash soon after this, and they could see a few aliens ejected from the hole on Deck C. The airwaves, however, were quiet.
"Well, now that the children will shut up for a minute…" muttered Regal. "Let us prepare ourselves. I've got all the arms I'll need, so…"
"Wait, we don't really have to fight, do we?" asked a panicked Neville. "I'm not ready… I mean…"
"You were just going on about how we could defend ourselves," accused Genis. "Don't tell me you're going to back-out now!"
"I… I… okay, you're right…" said Neville, but this was also followed by the second crash. And this time, the airwaves were not silent.
"Okay… concern is good," Tak said. "That wasn't me and we've suddenly had a 20% reduction in speed."
"Well… that's really bad," said Neville, eyes bugging slightly.
"I suppose we should prepare for battle, then," said Regal, opening a case Professor Verminstrasser had assigned to him before the attack.
"Oh," said Zim, sitting up in his bed. "That sword is shiny. Can I use it?"
"I don't see why not; none of us have trained with the sword, correct?" Regal inquired about the room.
"I did," said Iggins, but everyone ignored him.
"Goodie," said Zim, picking it up and wielding it happily.
"Now, let's see… Neville, I think you should have this—" Regal began but was cut-off by a personal intercom message from Ron.
"Hey… Regal… yeah, it's Ron…" said the teen in an uncomfortable voice. "Listen… I was supposed to mobilize some people to operate the weapons on the ship but I kinda forgot and everyone else is busy so could you grab a couple people to do that for me?"
"Ron," said Regal calmly but furiously. "I'm in the Sick Bay. The only other person who is 100% stable and able to fire the machines is Genis. Neville has to hold down the fort here."
"Well who else is there?" griped Ron.
"Girtrude, Snape, Trelawney, Iggins, and Zim," snapped Regal. "And do you want to trust any of them with our lives at this point?"
Their argument was interrupted by Ginny who requested some aid be sent to the trapped decoders on Deck B. Ron yelled at her for interrupting his channel and she yelled at him for not preparing properly. They were both drowned out by a yelp from Lloyd in the background which was followed by a particularly violent collision with a Covenant ship.
"Alright!" Neville shouted. "Regal, Genis, you go next door and operate the turrets. Zim, you and Girtrude go to Deck B and assist the decoders. I'll stay here with everyone else. Go!"
"Why did they put the weapons in the Rec room anyway?" asked Genis in a bemused voice as they left the Sick Bay and watched Zim and Girtrude fly off to rescue the trapped girls.
"I think it was for practice during non-combat exercises," said Regal. "Thank goodness we made use of them, right?"
"I've never touched them before," said Genis, flatly. "I don't know how they work."
"Me neither," said Regal simply. "Now… what does this big red button do I wonder…"
Engineering, Deck E.
"Tak," said Zelos. "Our engines are running at full capacity, but that last hit caused a 2.3% loss of hull stability. Tell Lloyd to be more careful with everything."
"I wouldn't recommend that," said Kratos dryly from his own monitoring console. "He'll just get upset and ram us into the nearest planet out of spite."
"This is true," said Tak, who was glaring at the monitors that showed each individual engine function. "This is also ridiculous. Where are those Kel'hetze morons? They should've rendezvoused with us by now…"
"You're right," said Zelos. "Those stupid, tardy, little—"
They were suddenly thrown violently to the ground. Kratos only evaded injury because he sprouted angel wings from his back and floated above the floor; Tak didn't have the ability and Zelos forgot about it so they both banged themselves up on the ground. Tak was furious, and more-so when she heard Ron and Hermione on the intercom.
"Attention all hands," Ron said, "Avoid Deck C at all costs; it's been hit and is now taking in hostilities. Defenders, please report there and exterminate the threat."
"Wow, Ron, you've been studying your intercom dialect textpacket, haven't you?" replied Hermione, undoubtedly beaming.
"Those idiots… how many times must I say this…" she hissed, pressing a button on her own intercom. "HEY! Who do I have to KILL to get you guys to listen to me? This is for emergencies ONLY. Now shut up, I'm going to try and get rid of some of those people in Deck C. Just ignore any bigger crashes unless I say to be concerned…"
"What are we going to do?" asked Zelos, heading for a control console.
"Depressurize all remaining rooms on Deck C. That should eject everyone else," said Tak. "Oh I do hope Zim isn't on that deck… it would be a shame to lose him."
"Amen to that," said Zelos, pressing the button and causing the whole ship to shudder. "Done."
"Good," said Tak. "Now, the next thing we need to worry about is whether this affected our overall hull integrity shields. Kratos, if you'd be so kind as to run a scan…"
"No problem," said Kratos. "I'll have the results in two minutes max."
"Now, Zelos, honey, would you—"
A second shudder ran through the ship. Suddenly, three alarms went off. The hull's integrity dropped 67%, their speed went down 20%, and life support was completely lost on Deck C. Tak updated the rest of the crew.
"Okay… concern is good," she said. "That wasn't me and we've suddenly had a 20% reduction in speed."
"Why didn't you tell them about the other stuff?" asked Zelos, trying to fix what he could from his console.
"We don't need everyone else panicking more than they are now, and with Iggins around…" Tak sighed.
Suddenly, her intercom beeped. It was a private channel from Ms. Bitters. Tak wondered what she was up to and opened it.
"We need to use a specialized net to capture three of those banshees for my warriors," said Ms. Bitters. "Reroute all unnecessary power to the net makers immediately."
"Understood," said Tak. "This will cause a minor fluctuation in the power. Tell the people on the Bridge not to be alarmed."
"Very well," said Ms. Bitters, closing the channel.
"Kratos, begin rerouting power to the next maker. Zelos, watch for the Banshee waves. We need to capture three of them for Gaz, Luna, and Presea," Tak explained.
"Okay… power rerouted," said Kratos about thirty seconds later.
"Ready… FIRE!" Zelos said.
The multi-colored net extended across and three Banshees were caught in it. A violent wave of electricity coursed through it, shocking the aliens out of their ships and into space. Then, three more figures leapt out of the hole on Deck C, jumped into the Banshees, and flew off. Tak smirked.
"That went surprisingly well," she said. "Now, let's work on fixing our hull, shall we?"
Deck B: The Translators.
"Okay," said Raine. "So we've ruled out any sort of hidden acronym, cryptic message, or specific alphabetical letters. What else could it be?"
"It could be something very simple," said Hermione. "Or very complex. We don't know who sent it, so…"
"I'll bet it was Matt, Emily, and Steffen," said Sheena in a bored voice. "Considering they are the only ones who know anything about this."
"There has to be an answer," said Raine. "Benedict Arnold…"
"Wait…" said Sheena, suddenly standing. "I just remembered something Ms. Bitters taught us in Social Study… it was when Iggins decided to rat on Gaz and Presea for their little illegal market of Tootsie Rolls… he was in on it and she labeled him a Benedict Arnold… could it mean…?"
"Of course!" Raine cried. "The real Benedict Arnold! The typical name for one who betrays their friends! Someone has been leaking our position into the other aliens!"
"Who, though?" Hermione cried. "Iggins?"
"I doubt it. He's been out of commission for at least the past day. Plus, he's too stupid to know how to talk to the aliens," said Sheena.
"Well, then, who?" complained Hermione. "It must be someone we know!"
The floor below them suddenly was ripped apart and sixteen aliens leapt up from the depths. They spoke in their language, cackled, and moved towards the girls. Sheena stood, as did Raine and Hermione, but the aliens began to fire wildly, causing the girls to get caught by surprise. Hermione shrieked as a bit of plasma hit her in the arm and Raine found herself nursing a wound on her leg from an energy sword. Sheena was too busy dodging attacks to notice someone arriving right then.
"NOW, GIR!" cried the voice.
"VICTORY SAUSAGE PATTY!" cried Girtrude, sending the bits of meat flying into the monsters. The meat burned them and they wailed and exploded, one by one.
"Thanks, Zim," said Raine. "Take us to the Bridge. We've got to find the traitor in our midst."
"Is it Iggins?" asked a concerned Zim.
"No, we thought so, but it's unlikely," said Sheena. "Come on. I know how we can find our Snitch."
Outside, in Hi-Jacked Banshees…
"Gaz, cover my port side," said Presea over her radio. "I'm going in for an attack on the starboard side of that cruiser."
"Right," said Gaz, circling around after disintegrating six enemies with her GameSlave, "And I was right. I figured out the reason some of my parts were acting up before."
"I'll be thrilled to hear about it later," said Presea. "Let's go."
They swooped in together, their Banshees only a few feet apart. Presea opened fire first, her shots taking out turrets on the side of the large ship. Gaz's shots began to break open windows, causing decompression and explosions on the same side. Meanwhile, off in the middle of the fight, Luna weaved in and out of every other Banshee in the area, causing crashes, explosions, friendly-fire accidents, and other misfortunes to her foes. And the whole time all she was thinking about was how much fun it would be to use a 12-Gauge on a Puffapod; she could probably make people with allergies suffer from Ireland to Scandinavia and perhaps some of The Netherlands.
"I see they've finally figured out how to work our weapons," commented Presea dryly as Regal and Genis began to fire the weapons on the ship.
"Indeed. And the Kel'hetze appear to finally be arriving. And StarFox, too," said Gaz, looking first to her left and right. "I say we go upgrade our ships."
"Right. Come on, Luna, we're getting upgraded again," said Presea, flying towards the Great Fox as it moved into the battlefield.
"I love upgrades!" cried Luna, chasing after them.
Deck A: Bridge
"So you're sure this will work?" asked Ginny tentatively.
"I'm positive," said Raine, having explained the situation. "Sheena explained the mechanics of it to me. We'll be losing only our hot water for the next eight hours, but we shouldn't really be concerned about that."
"No!" Ron shouted, still panicked. "Especially considering they just brought in that huge tower-like ship! And it's aiming right for us!"
"That cannon has to be at least the size of a small building," said Dib, staring at it. "Definitely something the Covenant would use."
"So this will send out a monitor for all outgoing signals and we will be able to pinpoint the location, right?" asked Harry, checking his facts.
"Correct," Raine confirmed. "Then Sheena, Zim, and Girtrude will go about finding and catching this person."
"I'll go, too," said Colette in her perky way. "I just love capturing criminals."
"Alright… here goes," said Lloyd, pressing a button.
The screen above them changed from a warning from Tak about the ship's hull to a monitor that tracked all outgoing and incoming messages. It only took them about twenty seconds to see an unidentified message leaving the ship, right for the huge Covenant ship on the far side. It was on Deck B, right near where they had been picked up by Zim and Girtrude.
"We're on it," said the people, leaving.
"Incoming message from the Kel'hetze," said Ginny. "They say they're launching an assault on the Covenant and allowing us to escape."
"No way," said Lloyd. "We're gonna make them pay for hurting our building."
"Agreed. Oh, look, their ships are fast," said a distracted Ron, who had finally pulled himself together.
"Kel'hetze ships have a base speed of about sixteen times that of our own ships," said Master Computer, "Which translates to a 1.5% over the Covenant. Their firepower and armor, however, is slightly lacking."
"Well at least their rays are a pretty blue color, unlike that ugly pink the Covenant send out," said Peaches, who was freshly revived.
The area around the school ship became very dangerous indeed. With so many other ships, Lloyd had a hard time maneuvering between the fighters, much less the beams of light being shot between the two of them. The ship took at least sixty shots, but the hull integrity was affected only about 10% thanks to Tak's furious repairs on Deck E. Genis and Regal proved very useful as well, knocking out almost twenty Covenant ships.
"The Kel'hetze inform us that the Star Fox Unit has arrived," Ginny advised, "Watch out for the Arwings."
"Arwings?" queried Harry. "What are those?"
"Haven't you ever played StarFox or one of its spin-offs?" asked Dib. "The Arwings are their ships. Though… there seem to be eight. How curious."
"Why?" asked Lloyd, moving the school sharply to the left to avoid a huge cluster of lasers fired by the mother ship.
"Well Peppy Hare was retired last I checked, Falco was freelancing, and Krystal was still working on her piloting license," said Dib. "Though even with all of them there, we still have three others to worry about…"
"I have established a connection with all StarFox Units," said Master Computer. "And the three in the other Arwings are Gaz, Presea, and Luna."
"They seem to be enjoying themselves," commented Ginny as they watched the radar. "Gaz just took out twelve Banshees with another Communist Laser, Presea trashed an entire wing off the mothership, and Luna just started flinging bombs in every direction."
"One's headed for us!" cried Ron, though too late.
The bomb sent a shockwave that caused minor power failure in the school. A siren blared and warnings went throughout. Suddenly, something struck their windshield and held on. Instead of an alien, it was a man in a larger-than-life body suit, looking to be mechanical.
"Who are you?" asked Lloyd through a special device that allowed communication with the outside.
"Just call me Your Jesus," said the man in a rough voice, suddenly leaping from the window to steal a passing Banshee.
"I think that was Master Chief," said Dib, in an awed voice. "We are truly blessed!"
"Oh, yeah, some Muggles were talking about him before Hogwarts shut down," said Harry. "Isn't he like a hero to the people fighting the Covenant or something?"
"You got that right. He's taken out two halos already, and I heard he's working on something more destructive to the Covenant. With him on our side…" said Dib.
"Look out for that cannon!" Ron roared. "Major cannon on the ship firing at us!"
"Oh no!" they cried as the beam of light shot out, right for the school.
Deck B: Traitor Mission
"Alright," Sheena said, landing on the ground from a flying leap out of the ceiling. "Our foe should be right behind those doors. You all ready?"
"As we'll ever be," said Zim. "Gir, open the door."
"Okie-dokie ardachokie!" shouted Girtrude, blowing the door off its hinges.
"… that was a little excessive," said Colette.
They ran into the room, blasters drawn and at the ready. Inside, there were many computers, each calculating this and that, spitting out rolls of paper, and flashing with enough lights to cause a fit. They glanced around the room until they saw a set of stairs leading to the ceiling. There, at the top, sitting in a special chair, was one who had been sending out the messages.
"It's you!" gasped Colette dramatically.
"I can't believe my eyes," said Zim. "YOU are the one who… the one who… was deceiving us?"
"Aww… I lost the bet," said Girtrude. "I was so sure it was Sheena."
"Uh… Girtrude…" said Sheena. "I'm right here."
"Hi Sheena!" cried the robot, hugging the girl around the middle.
"But… why… why you of all people?" asked Colette in a hurt voice. "What do you have against all of us?"
"Fools," came the reply in a slightly high-pitched and squeaky voice. "None of you understand. And I won't waste my time here giving an explanation."
"But… you were our friend… how could you do this?" Colette whined, "You were such a great friend… and now… you betray us. Oh, where did we go wrong with you? Please, come back to our side… Gorfy!"
The Chihuahua cackled, jumping out of his seat and landing on the ground ninja-style, a blaster rifle cocked and ready to shoot the group. His misshapen eyes were swirling about his head and his fur was completely out of line. Even in this position, Colette couldn't overcome the cute air shown by the puppy, and she collapsed in tears.
"Well, my foolish comrades," cackled Gorfy. "You must get it now, right? The reason I'm doing all this is to prevent you all from returning to Earth! Then, I shall RULE THE WORLD!"
"How?" asked Sheena. "That makes no sense, Gorfy!"
"Oh, but it does," countered the Chihuahua. "You see, if you are gone your enemies will reign. And since I got rid of you, the Law of Comrades of Badness states that I get to rule the world in the end because I have to poison them with spoiled milk. Don't believe me, ask Ms. Bitters."
"She's right," confirmed Sheena, "We of Mizuho are taught this from birth."
"I always knew there was something evil about you, dog beast!" Zim shouted. "But this is horrible! How will I take over the world now?"
"You won't, fool," said Gorfy, cackling and placing a paw on the trigger. "I will take over the world and make it a haven for all things Chihuahua. I will create a new world order, and there is nothing any of you can do about it! Ahahahahahahahahhahaha—"
The maniacal laugh was cut off by Girtrude who plummeted out of the ceiling on top of a garbage lid. The garbage lid, of course, was on fire. Girtrude cackled happily and shouted, "FLAMING GARBAGE LID!"
"Gir, you're supposed to call the attack name BEFORE you perform the move," said Zim.
"Sorry," said Girtrude, picking up the lid and walking away dejectedly.
"Now, time to get rid of the traitor," said Sheena, taking out her cards.
"Wait, Sheena!" cried Colette picking up the slightly singed Gorfy. "I think it would be best if we took him back to Earth and tried to help him. I think he's just using this as a way to express his negative feelings."
"But Colette, he tried to kill all of us. Even you," said Sheena.
"I know… but I think he's still got a chance to repent," said Colette. "Please, Sheena? I'll enroll him in the World Dominators Anonymous and get him the help he deserves."
"Alright, alright," said Sheena. 'Damn, you're convincing."
"Let us return to the Bridge," said Zim. "And check on the status of our…"
A bright flash enveloped the whole room. Just through it they could see that the huge Covenant ship had fired a huge laser straight for them.
Bridge, Deck A
"HANG ON!" shouted Lloyd, sending the ship downward.
The massive cannon blast only hit the rear part of the school, causing massive damage along all Decks. Sirens blared, decompression ensued, and Tak reported the hull had been breeched completely. They were utterly defenseless.
"We're done for!" wailed Ron.
"Hold it!" came a crackling voice over the loudspeaker, Gaz's. "We've just delivered the goods to the Covenant. Set a course for a hyper jump right through the ship."
"What? Why would we do that?" asked Raine.
"Because the Master Chief has a plan," said Presea. "He was the goods. He is the Jesus."
"And he rode on my ship," said Luna. "By the way, the nice Star Fox people said we could keep the Arwings."
"Yes," came a new voice; the voice of Fox McCloud, the leader of StarFox. "We and the Kel'hetzes shall hold them off while you prepare. You've only got one shot, so do it when we say."
"Alright," said Lloyd. "Tak, you heard that, right?"
"Aye," Tak acknowledged. "We're rerouting power as we speak."
"Neville, lock down the Sick Bay," said Lloyd.
"This would be easier if Snape didn't chew his way through his binds," Neville complained; they could hear Snape laughing like a small girl in the background.
"Genis, Regal, make sure to fire until the very end," said Lloyd.
"Got it, Lloyd," replied Genis.
"Get ready," said Fox's voice. "Estimated ten more seconds before jump."
"Power charging. Tak, will we make it?" asked Lloyd.
"Yes, we're fine," said Tak. "But if we don't get this right, the ship will explode. Let's hope we do this right."
"Gaz, Presea, Luna, you performed your mission admirably," said Countess von Verminstrasser, "Return to the Parking Bay at once."
"Understood," replied all three girls (though each couldn't help but destroy a couple more Covenant ships in the process).
"NOW!" shouted Fox.
"Engage!" Lloyd cried, pressing forward on the control stick.
The ship shot forward and at first it seemed like impact was imminent. The Covenant ship began to get bigger, and bigger, taking up their whole range of sight. Finally, as the enemy weapons were just about to let them have it, a flash of light erupted from the center of the ship and a massive explosion sheared the ship into thousands of pieces. The explosion blinded them all as the hyper drive kicked in and they were whisked away through space. The area around them was a swirling mass of rainbow-colored material, and they could barely make out the shapes of the girls' Arwings flanking them. A brighter light began to come forth, much like they were arriving at the end of the tunnel, and all over the ship everyone let out a collective scream as the light engulfed them.
They awoke on the ground, sprawled and scattered. One by one they came to, dimly aware that the sun was rising. They suddenly realized the familiar landscape; they were back at Whitestone. They could see the buildings, each of which looked much worse for the wear than when they had left (Building C had gone up in flames and the Gymnasium had re-collapsed). As they struggled to their feet, they saw the Building B stuck into the ground, upside down, jetting three stories into the sky... meaning two were buried beneath the hill it was jammed into.
"Good morning, everyone," came a cheerful voice.
They looked up and saw Matt, Emily, and Steffen walking over. Each looked relieved to see them alive and well… and more-so to see that part of the school was, once again, happily demolished.
"Great landing," said Emily. "I think you may have squished a few trees, but the building looks salvageable."
"What happened? The Kel'hetze? Master Chief? Star Fox?" asked Dib, scrambling towards them.
"All suffered minor damage from the explosion, but the Kel'hetze and StarFox teams will be able to repair. As for Master Chief… nobody's heard from him, but it's most likely he's out plotting the next Godly thing to perform against the Covenant," said Steffen.
"Yes… he risked his life just for us," said Colette quietly.
"So who was the snitch? Iggins?" asked Emily.
"Why does everyone think that?" wailed Iggins.
"No, it was Gorfy. It's okay, though, we've got him enrolled in a WDA meeting," said Ginny.
"He can carpool with me," said Luna, cheerfully. "After all, we've still got two more months of school, right?"
"Oh my God!" shouted Raine. "My lesson plans!"
She darted off. Everyone laughed slightly.
"Well," said Matt. "It's going to get more interesting for us, too. While we were messing around with the school's computers to save y'all, we switched our schedules and now we're in all your classes."
"Fantastic," said Lloyd sarcastically. "As if the classes aren't crowded and complicated enough."
"Hey," Steffen snarled, drawing a sword and pointing it at Lloyd. "Why don't we settle this in the combat contest, hm?"
"Oh, that's right. We have to sign up for that," said Emily. "It's being held in three weeks, so you all gotta prepare."
"YAY! COMBAT CONTEST!" cheered everyone, walking away as the Building B exploded, sending debris as far away as Saudi Arabia and Poland.
From Ron's Mind: (June 2011)
Well that was a bloody ridiculous two months in space. And a long chapter to boot. However, things are finally winding down and maybe next year I can go to a school with a little more sanity. Anyway… yeah, in April we're going to be working towards the big combat contest Ms. Bitters has been going on about all year. No doubt there will be some rivalries settled and enemies made. And Hermione will start to complain about exams… but maybe I'll get a chance with Sheena finally!
From the Author's Mind:
Haha the last sentence is funny because Poland cannot into space.