Who's Bet: Liaison Officer Ziva David

Summary: Ziva wants to seduce Tony, but a conversation with McGee makes her realize it might be harder than she thought.

Episode: Season 3 episode Silver War

Author's Note: So, I fail. I don't know why this took me so long to get up. But on a bright note, there are only 13 more bets before we get to the winner! Unless of course you are completely sick of the same storyline being told over and over again. Either option is possible.

Ziva sat at her new desk, the one that used to belong to Agent Kate Todd. She was happy to start work, in a new country. It was an exciting time. And she couldn't deny she was definitely looking forward to working with Agent DiNozzo. She couldn't' wait to whip him down a peg or two. He was cocky, thought he was the greatest thing on Earth. She could have laughed at that. He wasn't trained in Mossad.

Although, he was definitely attractive. Better than attractive actually. The man was sexy, and he knew it. But it didn't mean that Ziva was going to fall at his feet. So what if she planned to seduce him at least once before the liaison position was cancelled? So what if she already imagined what he would look like naked since she met him, or fantasized of him using that gravelly voice when they were in bed together. So what that she couldn't stop dreaming of him showing up in Tel Aviv to rob her breath away in the bed of night? It didn't mean that he had to know about that!

Agent McGee stepped up to her desk. She saw him approach under her eyelashes with a smirk on her face. Did he really expect her to not notice him? She was Mossad! She was trained by the best, and she would not be shown up by an American computer geek.

"Can I help you, Agent McGee?" She finally looked up at him, expecting shock, or surprise that she caught him. But he was grinning at her. Like the cat that ate the parrot, or something.

"You're officially a part of NCIS now."

Ziva wasn't sure where this was going. "Yes."

McGee knelt down next to her. Her hand instinctively wrapped around the handle on her knife. "I wanted to know if you wanted in on the office pool."

Ziva was confused again. Why was he smiling like this? Why was he talking quietly? "NCIS has an office pool?" She didn't bring her swimsuit. She glared. "Are you trying to seduce me to skinny dip with you?" That might have worked with Agent DiNozzo, but not with McGee. He wasn't nearly as cute.

"Skinny dip? What?" The grin was finally gone, but Ziva hated how confused he looked. Was it really that disgusting to consider sleeping with her? She was a beautiful woman!

"You were trying to convince me to go swimming with you!"

"No I wasn't, I asked if you wanted in on the office pool!"

She scoffed. "Oh, so you want me to help you pay for a new pool, is that it?"

"There's no new pool, it's only the old pool!"

Ziva couldn't take anymore. She grabbed his throat and squeezed lightly. "Please start making sense or I will pluck your eyeballs out of your head!"

"It's a bet! A wager!"

Oh.

Ziva searched his face. He was definitely telling the truth. "Oh." She released him. "Well why didn't you just say that, McGee?"

He rubbed his throat, the smile completely gone. Now he looked annoyed. "I did." He mumbled something under his breath. If Ziva was anybody else, or trained by anybody else, she probably wouldn't have caught it. "The first person I get in on the pool, and I almost get killed."

For a moment, Ziva felt bad. She hadn't meant to hurt her new coworker this soon after starting to work with him, it just happened. Really.

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "What is the bet, and how much to get it?" She figured she would be nice, if this meant so much to him.

"Forget it." He made to stand up, but Ziva stopped him.

"Please, McGee, I would like to know about the… office pool." Maybe that would make him feel better.

After a few moments of giving him a puppy dog look, he melted at her feet. She wanted to smile, but she figured that would be in bad taste.

He knelt down next to her. "So, it's twenty bucks to get in."

She shook her head. "That does not sound like much."

"There's currently about twenty thousand dollars at stake right now."

That was different. That was definitely a lot of money. "What is the bet?"

McGee's smile turned… feral, almost. "When are Tony and Gibbs going to sleep together?"

At first, Ziva thought that her new teammate misspoke. He could not have possibly meant what he said. Gibbs and Tony were not gay. Tony was too flirty for that. Her next thought was that he was playing a cruel joke on the newbie.

She jumped to her feet and crowded his personal space. McGee backed up a few paces, his face wild with fear. Ziva loved getting people to look like that. "Are you trying to play some game with me, Agent McGee? Because if you are, I doubt that I will need a weapon to kill you!" She hissed.

"I-I'm not. Th-that's really the pool." She glared at him. "Sorry, bet," he corrected quickly.

She scoffed. "You really expect me to believe that Gibbs and Tony are going to have sex with each other? Tell me something, Agent McGee, do I like stupid to you?"

"No!"

"Or do you think Mossad only trained me to be a killer and never think?"

"Ziva, it's a real bet! Everybody in the agency is in on it!"

"Really?" Somehow she seriously doubted that.

"Yes! This has been going on for years! Kate told me about it when I first joined the team." For a moment, her new coworker looked down, sadness filling his face. It was clear to Ziva that he still greatly missed his old partner. Something that she resented a bit. She wondered if he would ever care for her as much. Did she even want him to?

"So, if I go upstairs to talk about this with Director Sheppard, she will be in on this as well?" She said, successfully pulling him out of his thoughts about his fallen partner.

He shrugged. "Probably."

She glared one more time. This was a problem easily solved.

Without a word, she went up the stairs and barged into Jenny's office. McGee followed her the entire time, trying to get her to stop, but she would not. There was something wishy going on, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. She was an investigator now. And she was investigating.

Cynthia, Jenny's secretary tried to stop her, but Ziva ignored her as well. When she pushed open the door to Jenny's office, the older woman was a bit surprised to see her.

"Ziva. This is a surprise, for a moment, I thought you were Agent Gibbs." She leaned back in her chair. "What can I do for you?"

"Ziva—" McGee tried to stop her, but she cut him off.

"Is there really a bet about when Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo are going to sleep together?"

Jenny looked at her shocked for a moment, then her expression turned to one of defeat. With a heavy sigh, she leaned forward again and grabbed something out of the top drawer of her desk.

"What week would you like?"

Ziva was even more stunned. Behind her, McGee did not look much better.

"Are you telling me that this wager is real? NCIS is actually actively trying to determine when two agents—a boss and his subordinate—will bed together?"

Jenny tilted her head in confusion. "Do you mean, wind up in bed together?"

"This is real?" Ziva shouted, ignoring the correction to her failed English. All of these obnoxious American ways to say the exact same thing, it was ridiculous! And then they had the nerve to correct her every single time!

"Yes," Jenny answered. Although her tone suggested that she did not really like it. "What week would you like?" She turned to McGee for a moment. "Did you explain the rules to her?"

Ziva shook her head, still confused. "There are rules for a wager?"

Jenny glared at the man in the room. He seemed to break in his boots. That was the right phrase, yes? It sounded correct, at least.

"She didn't give me the chance! She just came barging up here!"

Jenny sighed heavily again and turned back to Ziva. "The rules are simple. You can't pick a date that somebody else has already chosen, and you can't tell Gibbs or DiNozzo about the pool."

Ziva blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she dropped her head to see if she was still standing there. Was it possible that she really died that afternoon at the Civil War reenactment? Maybe this was what Olam-Ha-Ba looked like. If so, she would have greatly preferred a bit more warning.

"Officer David?" Jenny asked. "Is everything ok?"

McGee stepped forward. "Did you want to make a bet?"

Even with her head down, Ziva knew that Jenny was glaring at McGee. It made her smile.

How could it be possible that Tony DiNozzo was gay? He was attractive? She wanted to bed him, not sit back and make bets on when he would bed Gibbs. Not that she didn't like Gibbs, she did. She was willing to kill her own brother to protect him. He trusted her.

But it did not mean she wanted to have his messy seconds!

She finally looked up with a smug grin on her face, successfully destroying the silent argument between the new director and her new teammate. She dropped a twenty dollar bill on Jenny's desk and made for the door.

"Um, Ziva!" Jenny called after her. "Is there a specific date you wanted?"

"Never." Then she left the office.

Because she knew that if she seduced Tony before Gibbs, there would be no way that he would start ratting for the other side. Wait, that one didn't sound right.

Ziva shook her head. Americans.

Few things, one, I know nothing about the Jewish faith, and the Olam-Ha-Ba line, I got off the internet, so I don't know how accurate it is. I'm sorry, but I barely know anything about my own religion. Secondly, there were a few Ziva-isms, but I couldn't resist. So let's see if I can make a list in case of confusion:

She couldn't' wait to whip him down a peg or two - should be 'knock' him down

dreaming of him showing up in Tel Aviv to rob her breath away in the bed of night? - should be 'steal' her breath away and 'dead' of night

Like the cat that ate the parrot - should be 'canary'

He seemed to break in his boots. - should be 'shake'

there would be no way that he would start ratting for the other side - should be 'batting' for the other side.

Next Bet: FBI Agent Ron Sacks