From the Collective Minds of the Whitestone Students: (June 2011)
ZOMFG EXAMS!
Chapter 16: Final Exams and a Showdown
HOUSE POINT TOTALS: Fence: 3284 / Typhoid: 3854 / Iko Iko: 2993 / Potato: 4111
The final week of regular classes was wrought with misery and woe. The teachers all piled on the last bits of homework and review work, keen on finishing their entire curriculums at any cost. The two most feared females on campus quickly became Raine and Hermione, both of whom were ready to kill for knowledge-gaining. After the last classes on Friday night let out, the weekend of studying began.
Some students stayed up until three and later studying. Some didn't sleep or eat at all. Five students were taken to local hospitals, two for panic attacks, one for attempted murder (which backfired since he was a failure in Dark Magic…), one for a Potions accident at four in the morning, and one for coming up behind Raine after lunch Saturday and asking a quick question, which sent her straight into a panicked frenzy of bludgeoning.
The exams were spread out throughout the week. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday had four exams, two in the morning and two after lunch, and Thursday and Friday each had three with more reasonable hours. As the children finished their studying on Sunday night, many were filled with dread, but some had a small ray of hope on the horizon. After this week, there was one week of freedom while exam and final grades were tallied, and then they were free for the summer. For some, that time would never come.
Monday.
Monday's exams started at 8 in the morning with Ms. Bitters' Social Study examination. Many students were there no later than 7:30; Hermione and Genis had been there since 7 and Luna since 4. Slowly the rest of the class trickled in, filling in their normal seats with puffy eyes and yawns with enormous diameters. Many were still looking through notes, trying to memorize the exact casualty number of various battles in the Eucalyptus Wars and the names, in order, of the Dictators of Tamartyr.
"This is ridiculous," muttered Ginny, slamming her notes shut and tossing them under her desk. "I'm not going to remember any of this in two hours."
"It almost makes me yearn for History of Magic," said Ron in a pitiful voice. "At least if we failed, Professor Binns wouldn't have cared. Or returned our papers properly."
"The most he would have done is yelled at someone with an incorrect name and forget why he was speaking," agreed Neville.
"Sh," snapped Hermione. "I'm concentrating."
"And she's still being bitchy," muttered Sheena to Genis.
"Shut up, Sheena," said Genis through gritted teeth. "You're interrupting me."
Sheena, who had been expecting Genis to say something to Hermione, was shocked. Zelos and Tak looked at her and shook their heads in warning. It was far too early for anyone to get charred by a rabid half-elf. Nobody else spoke the entire time; all were waiting for Ms. Bitters to start the test.
At two minutes to eight, Lloyd sprinted into the classroom, knocking over Zim's desk in the process and throwing himself into his chair. He was very out of breath and it was clear that he had sprinted from his dormitory.
"Lloyd," hissed Genis, who had been interrupted once again. "I told you two hours ago to get up!"
"I know," whined Lloyd. "But it was so early and I was so tired…"
"Lloyd, I'm going to stab you in the throat," said Presea. "Look what you did to my papers!"
Indeed, her papers were flying in all directions, as the pink-haired girl had been looking through them moments previous. Irritated, she turned her attention to their teacher, who had finally begun passing out papers. The exam, they could see, was six pages long and mostly multiple choice, with two pages of essays.
"You will have one hour and forty-five minutes, no more, no less," said Ms. Bitters. "If you finish before then, congratulations, you'd be the first and if you're brain isn't bleeding you're just plain freakish. If you make any noises, your vocal cords will be promptly removed and fed to a snake. You may begin… NOW!"
There was a rush of sound as everyone flipped over their papers and began to write. Some students, including Hermione, Genis, and Emily, soared through the test with extreme speed. Students like Lloyd, Ron, and Zelos, were only on page two with the first half an hour gone. The minutes ticked by, and when it came to the final five, Ms. Bitters set off a large fog horn, alerting the students that they would have to finish quickly. Anyone who wasn't on the essays gave up hope; those who were still writing gave as full answers as they could.
"Pencils down!" Ms. Bitters' voice cracked through the relatively silent air, making a few jump and a couple snap writing utensils. Nobody, not even Lloyd, was foolish enough to continue writing after the woman told them to stop. One by one, everyone left, many discussing the test and the two or three chapters that were left out (Hermione and Genis greatly annoyed Harry, Ron, Lloyd, and Zelos by these rants).
The second examination that day was Martial Arts, so none of the Hogwarts, Iselia, or Smudged-Town groups were to take part. Instead, they spent this time studying for the last two exams that day: Introduction to Magic and Healing Magic. Of course, not everyone took these classes, so a couple were actually free for most of the rest of the day. Neville, for example, was already studying for Health, even though the exam was not until Friday.
Hermione and Genis actually found themselves quizzing each other since nobody else had their levels of intelligence or diligence when it came to subjects and doing it with anyone else would be boring. They still argued over exact answers now and then but their thirst to study everything overruled half their fights. Lloyd, who knew nothing of magic and was a general idiot to begin with, found himself studying alone because nobody would pay attention to him or listen to his continuing whining. Even Iggins.
After a quick lunch, the entirety of our story's main characters except Neville (who was out planting some flowers and feeling on top of the world) sat in the Introduction to Magic Classroom. Because a recent law prohibited the same teacher from having two examinations in one day, Countess von Verminstrasser proctored the exam. As expected, there were questions of varying difficulty on all sections of magic that were taught at the school: Traditional, Healing, Divination, and Symphonian. It was a very tedious examination, with questions about incantations and average casting times, as well as a section for placing spells into "Offensive" "Defensive" "Healing" "Other" categories. Even Hermione and Genis, the resident magicians, found themselves struggling to meet the end of the exam.
"That was horrible," moaned Sheena afterwards. "I'll be lucky if I passed that class with anything good."
"Oh, Sheena," said Colette, the ever-optimistic. "I bet you got an A+!"
"I doubt it," muttered Ginny in a dark voice, "I don't think I even remembered half of that stuff on those basic healing spells…"
"Dib, did you get question forty-five, the average casting time for Grave?" asked Genis tentatively.
"The average casting time for that… 4.58 seconds," replied Dib-the-Earth-Expert.
"DAMN!" Genis shouted. "I put 4.55!"
"That's Spread," Matt said, eyes glittering. "I got ridiculously excited when I saw that."
"Harry, I think I'm gonna fail," said Ron, looking faintly ill.
"Well, Ronald, if you would just take your studies more seriously…" said Hermione in a very irritated voice.
"I don't need to hear that from you," Ron snapped.
"Can't you two just give it a rest?" asked Harry, sighing. "I'm going to go study. Ron, want to come?"
"Of course I do," said Ron, throwing a dark look at Hermione. "What about you, Luna?"
"No, you moron, I have to take my Healing exam," said Luna in a voice that suggested that she was telling a light, airy joke. "See you in two hours!"
"Gaz," Presea said. "I feel faintly ill…"
"I'll use you for my target in our Healing exam, then," said Gaz in her typical voice.
"No, Gaz," said Presea, holding her head. "I think I'm going to faint…"
"Well that's not good," said Gaz, turning to look at her. "Maybe you should just skip this one…"
"Perhaps you're right," said Presea, and then. "Oh, wait, I didn't take Healing Magic. Duh."
"Yeah, you're right," said Gaz. "Well go lie down. I'll get out of there as quick as I can."
"You all lucked out today," said Raine, as everyone gathered in her classroom. "There was a bad accident on the highway, and, conveniently, we have eleven people with 3 levels of injuries. This will be your final exam. Who would like to go first?"
"Professor, why weren't these people taken to a real hospital?" asked Hermione, noticing that the people lying on stretchers were in stasis.
"I programmed the ambulance OnStars to bring them here," said Raine, sounding proud of herself. "With this wonderful device I saved from when we were blasted into space two months ago. It's it awesome?"
"I'll go first," said Gaz. "I have to attend to other issues."
She received a middle-aged man who had small bruises to his left arm, a broken wrist, and a sign for "Troy" impaled into his arm. She merely chanted a couple of easy healing spells and the man was declared fit. Raine allowed a very confused-looking EMT to wheel him to a waiting ambulance and take him away.
Next came Hermione, who trembled as she stood over a girl about their age. She had a bad laceration to her forehead, a couple of broken toes, and an 'out' shoulder. The toes were mended fairly well but the middle one fused and was unable to bend, the laceration was cleanly healed, and the out shoulder was fully repaired.
Raine was very alarmed when Iggins declared he wanted to go next, and she gave him the man with the least amount of injuries: a bruised eye and a few broken teeth. Somehow, Iggins knocked out six more of his teeth and caused a cactus to sprout from the man's nose. Raine sighed, returned the man to as much normality as she could, and dismissed Iggins from the exam chamber.
The rest of the exam passed in this fashion. Sheena and Ginny both performed their Healing duties perfectly and their patients were not even taken to the hospital for evaluation. Zelos and Genis were about as successful, but Zelos couldn't get his patient's nose to stop bleeding and Genis accidentally made an extra finger grow on a small boy. Colette was unable to complete testing because she said the woman reminded her of her grandmother and she was too distressed. Girtrude abruptly decided that Healing Magic was useless for her so instead she just left with Colette without a backwards glance. Matt took Colette's and Girtrude's patients and healed them up as best as he could instead.
When Luna went to look at her patient, however, she gasped. Apparently, her victim had been the cause of the six-car pile-up on the highway, and he was a wanted convict. The CIA had been hunting this man for a long time, though why that particular department was handling the case of a fugitive was a mystery she would not divulge. Instead of healing her victim, she merely strapped on a pair of handcuffs and radioed for her CIA comrades to pick him up. Under the circumstances, Raine had no choice but to award Luna full marks since the CIA center would have access to the best doctors in the world, and her patient would undoubtedly be healed properly.
As Healing Magic was the last exam offered that evening for the students, the school returned to dinner. Those who had taken the Healing Magic exam that night discussed nothing of the exam because it would have violated HIPPA and we all know what happens when HIPPA is violated.
Tuesday
Tuesday's exams were Math, Potions, Gym, and Divination. The math exam was going to be a challenge, but there was a scene right after Raine handed out the papers and told the class to start. Lloyd, who had slept in once again, came bustling in and attempted to apologize. Raine, who had finally lost her patience with the teen, roundhouse kicked him back out the door, shouting that his tardiness had voided his exam grade and caused him to probably fail Math for the year.
For the rest of the students, two hours of calculations and explanations of steps became one repetitive misery. It seemed like it would never end, and at nine pages it was the longest exam they'd suffered through so far. Raine prowled up and down the rows, searching for any signs of cheating, immune to the pained looks on everyone's faces as they wrote down whatever they could for the problems. At the end of the exam, only six papers were completely finished: Hermione, Genis, Luna, Sheena, Tak, and Presea.
"Well that certainly goes against that old saying that men are better at math than women," sniffed Raine haughtily. "You are all dismissed."
They found Lloyd sitting under a tree outside, looking very thoughtful. Almost painfully so, actually. On one hand, he had missed an exam and gotten a zero. On the other, he didn't have to force himself to go through the torture of one of Professor Sage's exams. He even considered skipping the Science exam the next day. But when Genis reminded him of what Kratos and Dirk would do to him, Lloyd sobered up and vowed to be early at all costs.
Snape's Potions exam had everyone on their toes. The three-part test first included a forty-five minute written section (which was exceptionally difficult considering the time limit) followed by two practical goals that had to be accomplished within the remaining time and were done with partners. The first involved testing an unknown potion for a poison and selecting the correct antidote, and the second involved mixing a rather difficult potion with very specific directions that could not be ignored.
Tak and Harry worked together, and they correctly identified the poison and antidote and perfected their Potion of Increased Giddiness, the same Colette and Girtrude had tried so many months before. Lloyd and Ron were pretty much hopeless, and they not only identified the wrong poison (and gave the wrong antidote for that poison), they managed to melt their cauldron and spill the potion onto the floor when they didn't stir for exactly five minutes and ten seconds.
Dib and Zelos, who had managed to peacefully coexist all year long, took too long on the antidote and poison section because Dib was obsessive-compulsive and wanted to make sure they had exactly the right tests done. Because of this, their Increased Giddiness Potion was only halfway done and Zelos was highly annoyed. Genis did most of the work because Luna had to fill out a lengthy report about her Healing Magic exam, but she did save them when Genis almost forgot to add the sunflower seeds at the sixty-ninth stir.
Gaz found a unique way of testing for the poison. She force-fed some to Iggins and determined the type based on his reaction. She was disappointed that it was one of the slower-acting ones, but she chose the right antidote and then left Iggins to convulse while she mixed the Giddiness Potion. Sheena, terrified that Girtrude would blow them up again, was pleasantly surprised when the robot girl perfected the potion in less than ten minutes, leaving them plenty of time to get the poison and antidote mixture.
Ginny and Zim squabbled for most of their exam, arguing over techniques and reasoning. As a result, Zim caused their Giddiness potion to explode spectacularly, just like Girtrude and Hermione's attempt. Ginny, who had foreseen this, was able to block the blast from injuring her and she instead did the potions and antidotes section while Zim smoked next to her. As for Hermione and Colette, Colette proved that she could make a more powerful Increased Giddiness Potion by doubling the sunflower seeds, as she showed an impressed Hermione (who did the antidote and poison match in about three minutes). Finally, sweating from the heat of the fires and the fumes of the potions, they left the rooms for a quick wash and some lunch before their afternoon exams.
Gym, immediately after lunch, was basically their government-mandated fitness test all over again. They had to do shuttle runs, v-sits, pull-ups, the mile run, sit-ups, push-ups, and dodgeball. However, they later learned this last sport was just a way to cool-off, though half the class was more than dead at the end of the running and pull-uping so the game didn't last long. At least Lloyd was put into high spirits again; he had gotten full marks, he was sure of it!
With only nine people, Divination was one of the smallest classes in all of Whitestone. Luna, Girtrude, Gaz, Presea, Ginny, Sheena, Matt, Zelos, and Tak sat in Professor Trelawney's classroom near the top of Building D, as they scribbled away at small bits of parchment, some of which had sherry stains and smelled very strongly of cheap perfume. The questions were very ranged and made no sense, although it asked for the proper technique with crystal balls about twelve separate times.
"QUILLS DOWN!" shouted the Professor, smashing a newly-opened bottle of sake against the random fireplace mantle installed against the wall in her room.
"Why did she have to do that?" asked Ginny as the sake sloshed all over the ground.
"What a waste…" muttered Zelos.
"Sheena, are you alright?" asked Luna in a very cheerful manner as attention turned to the ninja, who still had a look of shock and fear on her face.
"… my heart…" she muttered, before falling to the ground.
"Don't bother yourselves with moving her busty carcass," said Trelawney waving her hands around. "The lines on her hand tell me that she has a good sixty years of mobile life left in her. Let us move on to your practical examination!"
Leaving Sheena to be immobile and possibly within cardiac arrest on the ground, the other seven moved to the other side of the classroom, where they sat in a semi-circle around yet another crystal ball. Professor Trelawney sat down, uncorked a new bottle, and took a mighty swig from it, sloshing half of it down her front and the other half on the crystal ball itself.
"Tak, you go first," said the Seer, pointing at Luna.
The two girls looked at each other, shrugged, and Luna moved forward. She waved her hands mysteriously over the crystal ball and made a low moaning noise. This was more for show than anything; it had no effect whatsoever on the area around her. She then went into a long rambling story about a young man named Seville whose life aspiration was to be an oil rig manager. The story had no real plot or chronological order, and ten minutes later Luna left after abruptly ending the story with a volcanic explosion in a small Indonesian city.
Ginny went next (although Trelawney had called her Zelos, much to her dismay) and she concentrated a good twenty seconds before Trelawney deemed her incompetent and dismissed her from the examination. Sheena reappeared, looking indignant and pale and shoved Zelos out of the way in order to give a death prediction about Trelawney before she tottered away, grasping anything that would help her walk in a relatively straight line. Matt went after her, his predictions of a future filled with churning tsunami waves met with Trelawney's drunken giggles.
Girtrude followed Sheena's death threat but went one better: she predicted the complete and total annihilation of a super massive star out in the Dormir Nebula via the Modern Jesus and his powers that were unable to be matched by anyone. Zelos finally got his turn but the only thing he could see in the crystal ball was a screaming baby and he became far too upset to attempt to see more. Gaz quickly said her brother was likely to fall down the stairs at quarter past eleven that night, and then allowed Presea to make a prediction.
Presea focused for about ten seconds and then began to speak, her eyes out of focus and wider than anyone had ever noticed them before. She spoke of a great evil descending upon the melting pot of learning, a ferocious battle unparalleled to anything they'd ever seen before, and that a hero's life would be taken in order to end the bloodshed. Then, a green flash shot through her eyes and she fell to the table, screaming in pain. Luna and Gaz quickly removed her.
"I see… a flower," said Tak once Trelawney had started breathing normally (Presea's fit had sent her into a violent panic attack). "A flower whose petals have slowly come to fall. And through their falling the truth will be seen… a truth that will chill us to our very cores…"
"That's quite enough my dear," gasped Professor Trelawney. "Full marks! Begone!"
She overturned the table and the crystal ball rolled away, out the door, down the stairs, across the campus, into the sea, was picked up by some crab fishermen in the Bering Sea, where it was then flung back in where it was picked up by a tsunami that deposited it in Indonesia where a volcanic explosion sent it flying to nearby Kenya where a stampede of wildebeest caught it, sending it flying to Ethiopia where everyone thought it was a falling star only to watch it be launched again by a passing airliner, this time carrying the small, clear, circular device straight into England, where it continued to roll along the railway tracks towards Hogwarts, only to be shattered at the last second as a runaway Hogwarts Express taken over by house elves shot by, going off the tracks and crashing into a ravine next to Hogwarts (there were 283 house elves aboard).
Wednesday
There was something about taking one of Raine's examinations first thing in the morning that made one contemplate suicide more seriously, and two days in the row of it really made one start thinking about writing their wills. The Science exam was mostly memorization of the periodic table (as in Questions 1 to 98 were simply the missing elements from said table), which was followed by an entire page of ion charges, basic properties of physics, an essay on plate tectonics, a matching section on properties of biology and what cell things did what. As the students trudged from her classroom at the sound of the bell, many hoped they never heard the words "photosynthesis" and "rock" ever again.
The Health exam was much more difficult to navigate because of the fact that the cursed lightning ceiling had malfunctioned the day previous. It now shocked people whenever it detected not only impure thoughts but thoughts that were completely unrelated to the Health field in general. Because of this, students were given the suggestion to keep the word "MRSA" in their heads because it was becoming an epidemic in America and the cursed ceiling would appear impressed that one was so up-to-date on stories within the health field. Nevertheless, half the class had suffered multiple shocks throughout the test and Zelos had flat-lined three times because he kept trying to figure out what MRSA stood for using his limited and mostly inappropriate understanding of the Health field.
Technology Appreciation was another small class, and their exam had already taken place. They were assigned to create something from scratch, something that would push the technological world forward. Colette, Presea, Emily, Girtrude, Iggins, Luna, Gaz, Tak, Matt, and Zim took turns presenting their ideas, knowing that their presentations made up a good 25 percent of their final grade.
Gaz presented her finished GameSlave Weapons Modulator, which took hand-held gaming and made it a weapon of mass destruction. The second part of her presentation involved shooting pretty much everything contained within the machine at Iggins, who also presented his new device: a shield that could harm one from most types of artillery. But his hopes of it being invincible were shattered when the GameSlave's aiming function found the one flaw in his shield and blew it up.
Colette presented a robot companion for Girtrude, whose name was Girtrude 2.0. Girtrude, happy to have a companion, finally took away her disguise to reveal himself as Gir forever and ever. From then on, he and Girtrude 2.0 rocketed around, playing tag and completely forgetting about the fact that he still had to present his project. Instead, Matt and Emily presented a video on their own Zoid-like creations, complete with a working judge capsule that would spontaneously crash into the ground, leaving craters. Zim showed off his plans for a new, upgraded version of the Hunter-Destroyer Bot, with animations and computer renderings of how precisely the city of Seattle would fall if he was set down upon it.
Presea, who was still having violent headaches every couple of hours, provided details on a new blade for her ax, one which was able to cut through any armor, and could emit an electrical charge. She did remind them that the cost would be far too high to put to practical use and that the prototype would remain with her forever more. Luna held out an innocent-looking device which she nicknamed the "Torture Teddy." When someone was lying, it would become active and beat the accused senseless until they fessed up to everything. She kept it off because of the old CIA motto: "Everyone lies with every waking breath." And finally Tak presented a super computer who had similar energy properties as the Building B did when it flew through space, complete with Mystral-filters and an energy source that would last for a good billion years (she also had the copyrights to prove that it was hers and kindly reminded everyone that she would disembowel anyone who tried to use it on her).
Snape held the Traditional Magic exam in the courtyard, which was somewhat miserable because it was an unusually cold night in May. Presea found this to be highly disconcerting and she retreated to Ms. Bitters' room to do some research. The rest of the Traditional Magic students huddled together as Snape, dressed in a huge, furry robe probably stolen from Karkaroff, handed them pieces of parchment. His exam was short but very difficult; no written part required. If you could not fulfill the requirements on the sheet, you failed.
Harry successfully disarmed an advancing monster, blocked an enemy spell with the Shield Charm, and repelled a Dementor-boggart with the Patronus (though Snape removed points from him saying that he used the improper spell to deal with a boggart). Hermione gracefully charmed twelve objects to fly around at once, and then changed them flawlessly into a group of butterflies, which she then made fly into the shape of an H above her head. Finding nothing to criticize, Snape allowed her to go. Ron, on the other hand, was a field day for Snape because the poor boy changed the plates into rabid porcupines instead of goblets, grew their teeth to the size of fangs, and gave them the ability to fire their quills like missiles. He sprinted of, wailing, as Snape collapsed with laughter until one of the quills landed in his jacket.
"SIXTY FIVE POINTS FROM FENCE!" he roared. "AND YOU OWE ME DRY CLEANING!"
"Great," muttered Ginny. "There goes his college money…"
"See if you can redeem your family's name, Ms. Weasley," said Snape in an icy tone.
Ginny was given a Venomous Tentacula to play with. She started with her signature move of setting its outermost tentacles on fire, followed by giving it a Confundus Charm to make it throttle itself, and she finished the display off with her best move: the Bat-Bogey Hex, which caused flapping bogies to become lodged in its cell walls, instantly killing the creature. Luna's test, which was to tame a very upset hedgehog, was cut short when Luna held it in stasis and force-fed it some caffeine, which resulted in shock and epileptic fun.
If anyone had doubted Tak's attendance to Hogwarts, her flawless demonstration of the Color Switching, Mammary Transformation, and Darkness Banishing spells served as a perfect display to destroy the non-believers. Colette was the last one to go, and she merely conjured pretty clothing onto the kitten she was supposed to be changing into a ferret. A few students, including Gaz and Girtrude, had decided their grades were high enough that they would not need to take the exam in order to pass. Thus, everyone else retreated into the nice, warm, inviting school for what promised to be an easier sleep. The last two days only had two exams each, which meant they would average about two hours more of sleep each.
MEANWHILE…
"The time has come. Our powers have finally united and with this Tri-Force we shall—"
"Um… sir… that's copyright infringement…"
"It is?"
"Yeah. Some game… Legend of Zelda…"
"Oh. Um… how about… the Dynamic Trio?"
"Pushing it…"
"Three Musketeers?"
"No."
"Mousketeers?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"FINE! We're just three evil bosses bent on destroying an entire school of children with magic and other things. Is THAT acceptable?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then tomorrow… we shall take our powers of three bosses and DESTROY THE STUDENTS OF WHITESTONE!"
Thursday
Kratos begrudgingly sat with them during their English examination hat day. Raine was going to have to take the Symphonian Magic class because the law would have prevented Kratos from holding another examination that day. So he grumbled to himself while the students wrote essay after essay, finally making half the class jump when he sent a random fireball soaring through the window, sending him into Overlimit over stupid governmental practices.
Once that was over, the Symphonian Magic exam began. Matt and Tak clearly dominated the Water Magic section, Emily took care of Air, Ginny owned at Fire, and Dib was unbeatable in Earth. However, the best all-around performances went to Genis and Luna, who demonstrated near-complete control over all domains. The worst, unsurprisingly, came from Iggins who could never seem to get the spell to do exactly what he wanted (such as when he screamed "Stone Blast" and a large lightning bolt struck the target instead).
However, right as the students left, something happened. The lights dimmed for a second and a short, quick rumbling ran through the school. Assuming it was just someone screwing up their Earthquake spell, virtually nobody paid any attention to it, except one pink-haired girl, who felt a shock go through her head. She gasped, muttered, "They're coming…" and fell to her dorm room floor. Outside, clouds began to gather, promising rain and perhaps another flash flood. Around the campus, a general feeling of unease hung as everyone waited for the final exam of the day, Careers, to begin.
Ms. Bitters was not present for this exam. Instead, Verimstrasser silently handed them their papers before turning to stare out the window once more. It was another dull exam, calculating estimated figures for various jobs, typical life accident rates and life expectancies, and a personal essay on whether or not their chosen job was going to bring them happiness in life (something Lloyd took to with gusto). Gaz, who finished her examination in about twenty minutes, proceeded to go look for Presea. Just as Verminstrasser opened her mouth to allow them to leave, a large lightning bold struck the flag pole outside, setting it aflame.
"What's going on?" screamed Iggins, losing his head completely.
"It's happening," muttered Verminstrasser in a quiet voice. "The Final Battle is upon us… CHILDREN! We must prepare for battle. A great evil descends upon this earth as we speak. Only those who are fit to fight can remain, the rest must e evacuated. To the cafeteria!"
"Wait a minute! What is she talking about?" asked a terrified Ron.
"Your enemies… our enemies… have gathered their powers together and are now descending upon this school. We have very little time. Let us away, NOW!" snarled Verminstrasser.
She dove from the room in an action-roll that slammed her into the far wall. Not dazed in the least, she sprinted down the hallway, which began to fill with confused students. After a brief moment of silence, everyone started to talk at once, some panicked, some confused. Finally, above the hubbub, Harry, Dib, and Lloyd stood upon their desks and whistled simultaneously.
"We must report, as Professor Verminstrasser said, to the cafeteria," Dib said, clearly, "We will stick together. Nobody gets left behind."
"We will go in the Evacuation Formation Theta, that we learned from Kratos," Lloyd said, "Those who can fight will be up front, weapons drawn. Those who are skilled with Defensive Magic will be behind them, forming a semi-circle for those unwilling or unable to fight, followed by our healers and one sweeper in the rear."
"Wow, Lloyd," said an impressed Colette, "You really were studying for Weapons Appreciation, weren't you?"
"If anyone goes down, say, 'I'm hit,' and the rest of us will do our best to assist you," Harry said, "Any questions?"
"What if we get disemboweled slightly?" asked Girtrude 2.0.
"Um… well… is there a Vizene for that?" asked Dib.
"What the hell are you talking about? Of course there is," replied Luna. "Let's go!"
They left the room quickly. Lloyd, Zelos, Zim, and Dib were in the front lines, each holding weapons at the ready. Behind them were Matt, Hermione, Sheena, and Tak, ready with defensive spells and offensive if needed. Neville was placed on Healing duty while Emily would perform the duties of the sweeper, her duo short swords posed for combat. Luna, ignoring their plans, sprinted off on her own, saying something about contacting the CIA and gathering a few weapons.
They reached the doors of the building and prepared to leave. Just as they went to open the door, however, a massive explosion occurred outside, rocking them around and sending things clattering to the floor. The windows around them exploded and glass showered upon the group, blocked by well-placed spells from Tak and Hermione. On the count of six, they left, rushing across the grounds. They took only a few steps before they realized just how bad the situation was.
Dementors, Gryphons, and Ligers were all soaring and leaping around, attacking anything they could reach. Someone had the sense to release the MEDIA, which swarmed and flashed in order to defend their territory. They could see panicked students running, some pursued by Dementors and others by various other monsters. Once their group was spotted, however, the groups of attacking enemies turned their attention to them and flew down.
"Protection, arise and defend those who fight for our cause," chanted Sheena, Matt, and Tak, "SHELTER!"
Just as the first monsters made it to them, impenetrable barriers formed in front of the group, sending them flying back in time for Lloyd and company to strike with Demon Fangs and Doom Slashes. Genis helped them along with a Thunder Blade spell as Emily cut one attacking gryphon out of the sky with Omega Tempest. When the Dementors struck, however, it was the entire Hogwarts crew whose combined Patronuses ran the Dementors through, sending them away for a good long while.
As they were about to celebrate this semi-victory, however, Zelos noticed a large glow amongst the clouds. He only had time to warn everyone to keep their heads down before a humungous fireball came flying out of the sky. It slammed directly down into Building C, which was lit up from the inside for a second before it exploded with a deafening boom. The shockwave sent the group flying to the ground as the shrieks and cries of the other students grew louder.
"Come on!" roared Harry, and everyone stumbled to their feet and ran the last few meters to the cafeteria, stumbling inside as the doors shut and locked behind them.
"Thank goodness!" cried Raine, rushing away from wounded students to embrace Genis. "I was so worried. Did you keep it safe?"
"Yes, Raine," said Genis, flatly. "Your little carving of the Goddess Martel is still safe and sound."
"Good," said Raine, snapping back into commandant mode. "Those of you who know Healing Magic, come with me. We have many students to treat and more keep arriving."
"Who is behind this attack?" asked Dib.
"We're looking into that," said Raine. "We have had reports that its… well… it's unthinkable, but… Kratos will have more information. He's forming a resistance with students who wish to remain."
"There you all are," said Luna, who magically appeared by them. "Gaz and I were wondering just how long it would take you to get here. Building C got blown up and we've evacuated about sixty kids already. But yeah Kratos is getting ready to kick some ass. Wanna help?"
"Of course," said a couple at the same time. "Where is he?"
"Over by the place where they kept the processed meat products. It still smells of ugly," replied Luna, leading them over.
Kratos sat at a table with a map of Whitestone in front of him, on a large table. Snape had enchanted it so that it showed the movements of their enemies. Three large question marks stood where Building C used to be (its debris scattered amongst the rest of the Whitestone landscape). Those who stood with the rest of those preparing to do battle stood in resolution. They weren't going to back down, come hell or high water.
"I don't recognize any of these names," said Kratos, sighing. "Those who seem to be running the show. I guess we're just going to have to take them out one-by-one."
"What's their movements?" asked a curious Ginny.
"They're going from building to building, but it's taking a while. They've destroyed C and searched B. They're on A now. It'll be a while before they tackle the gym, D, and E. But those monsters…" Kratos reported.
"Well, leave them to us," said Lloyd. "We can handle a few monsters."
"There's approximately five hundred and seventy-two individual units," said Luna cheerfully, holding a large, complicated-looking instrument toward the map. "That's not counting the reinforcements they undoubtedly have."
"And as always, Luna casts her rays of optimism on us," sighed Zelos.
"Just doin' my job, Wilder," said Luna in a very redneck voice.
"Alright. I want our short-range battlers up front. We can take a few short-range magic users as well," Kratos said, laying out the plans. "I wish to have to sets of student magic users and ranged attackers on the roofs of D and E. We're lucky Weapons Appreciation was held in D. We will clean out the store rooms, giving students what they deserve in terms of weaponry."
"I shall lead the ranged students," said Verminstrasser. "Those who excel with bow, gun, and magic… we will not let them pass."
"Make sure you prioritize the air attackers first," warned Regal. "That's our best bet."
"Where is Ms. Bitters?" asked Snape.
"Undoubtedly planning a way to kill everyone with a single breath," said Kratos, flatly. "Let's leave her to her devices."
"We will also need a couple students here to supplement our Healing Magic. We also need paramedics. Luna, do you have any jetpacks left?" Raine asked.
"Yep," said Luna. "We over budgeted again this year. Healthcare took a hit but at least we've got about a 6:1 ratio of jetpacks to human resources!"
"What about those newcomers?" asked Raine, indicating Luke, Tear, and Jade, still present as guest students and lecturers from the combat contest from the previous month.
"We'll stay and fight, of course," said Jade, smiling. "I haven't ruined anyone's life in quite a while."
"So he thinks…" Luke muttered in the background as Tear nodded solemnly.
"So it's settled. Branch off and form your groups," said Kratos, as another explosion rocked the room and a few more students stumbled in. "We will activate the school security systems and hope for the best."
Kratos and Jade lined up with about forty total students, including Lloyd, Zelos, Luke, Emily, Iggins, Gaz, Luna, Dib, Professor Trelawney, and Zim, who was now able to wield the golden sword like he was born to it. Colette and Tak embraced their lovers one last time before they left. Gaz and Luna suited up with plenty of evil-looking weapons, and the GameSlave glowed with batteries freshly charged with Indignation-like power. They were to be the first to leave as they gazed out the cracked and broken windows as a few students began to fight without backup from the rest yet.
Verminstrasser took sole control of about thirty of her own students, among them Matt, Genis, Tak, Ginny, Colette, Harry, Ron, Peaches, Gir, and Girtrude 2.0. They were fitted with boomerangs, bows, guns, and a specially-designed crossbow for Girtrude 2.0. All carried an arsenal of various spells, which would be used to take out incoming air attacks, as well as provide cover for those upon the ground. They, too, prepared their weapons and made sure there were no obstructions.
Remaining behind with the sick and injured, while still continuing the evacuation via any means they could use, would be Raine, Regal, Snape, Neville, Sheena, Tear, and Hermione. Tear and Sheena equipped specially designed jetpacks to their lower torso as they would be functioning as the paramedics. With that, Kratos summoned the Master Computer.
"Lock down all schools with Priority Five armor," Kratos said. "I don't need to tell you that this is a serious matter."
Suddenly, random bits of metal began to shoot around the remaining buildings on campus, making them impenetrable fortresses. Just as the metal shutters began to come around to the front of the cafeteria, shielding the broken windows from the melee outside, the combat groups dove out.
"Let's go!" roared Kratos, charging with his group into the assault.
"Up!" called Verminstrasser, summoning a massive elevator that propelled them all to the tops of their respective buildings, giving them good vantage points.
"I do hope they'll be okay," said Hermione, as though she could see through the metal.
"Hermione, why'd you stay behind? You said you'd refuse to learn Symphonian magic!" snapped Sheena.
"Honestly, Sheena, this is hardly the time for juvenile arguments! First Aid!" Hermione shouted, healing one girl of all the injuries on her left arm.
"Da-yum," Sheena muttered. "That bitch got skillz…"
MEANWHILE, outside, Kratos and company reached the first line of monsters, a group mixed of gryphons and ligers. Jade merely sighed and pushed his glasses up in a cocky way, summoning his spear as he and Kratos lead the charge. Luke and Zelos complemented each other very well since their styles were quite similar, with Zelos' magic abilities being the only real thing separating them. Lloyd helped with his own uppercuts and duo slashes, bringing multiple ligers to their knees quite quickly.
Emily found herself back-to-back with Gaz as they were circled by gryphons. Although fond of the creatures for their destructive beauty, the girls held no quarter for their enemies, and Emily's Demon Tempest combo followed by a quick Thunder Blitz missile from Gaz's GameSlave was enough to destroy them. Luna and Dib teamed up and sent a group of enemies flying backwards with Sonic Blasts from their respective swords, and then stood toe-to-toe, casting a large explosion spell that landed on either side and flung the enemies away. It looked so bad-ass that the random MEDIA that got a picture would later post it on the MSN's "This Week in Photos" and it would win forever.
Zim and Trelawney really surprised the rest of the fighters. They were both improving greatly, and Trelawney had no problems dodging and weaving and using her Tarot cards as IEDs, which, while not powerful, were enough to stun the enemy. Zim used the pak on his back to grow his long spider-like legs and he was soon diving through the furious pack of people, slashing and cutting with his Irken adrenaline flowing.
Up on the buildings, with everyone situated and ready to go, Verminstrasser scanned the sky with her binoculars. A large amount of winged, skeletal figures with tridents were on the way in, serving as the backup. Verminstrasser gave the FIRE command and it began.
Colette had finally mastered the boomerangs and was attaching little bombs to them so that they exploded when they were far out. Her luck was very strong once more because although she never hit a single thing she was aiming for, she would usually knock three or four others out of the sky right next to the one she intended to hit. Any that she missed, Ron was happy to clean-up with his bow, which had arrows enchanted to do various things: multiply, spin, lock on, and explode to name a few.
Tak, Ginny, and Genis were part of a small task force whose only job was the coverage of those on the ground. When it looked like one area was going to be breached, they would send a bit of fire, lightning, or water cascading down in order to even up the odds. This saved a small group of freshman about six times before the underclassmen collected their heads and began to fight back. Only when one of the flying skeletons shocked Genis with their own brand of lightning did the rest of the mages on the roof begin to retaliate more strongly on the incoming air support.
Matt, who had been laying down a covering fire from his bow, was first to come back, controlling an Ancient Nova spell that suspended itself in mid-air and blew apart a good dozen of the aerial monsters. Harry sent Knockback Jinxes flying so fast that it was almost one continuous stream of white-blue light shooting through the sky and impacting the monsters. Peaches, Gir, and Girtrude 2.0 sent off small rockets, each containing a few dozen flares which branched off and embedded themselves into the attackers, exploding with very high-pitched whinny sounds.
"Where is their center of battle?" mused Verminstrasser. "The attacks don't seem to have an organized area."
"No, but I think I just saw who is controlling the monsters," said Matt, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle he had found lying abandoned in a dumpster. "Arietta the Wild."
"Arietta the Wild?" asked Raine as she tended to a boy who had some serious injuries from the liger's teeth.
"Yeah, some gothic, pink-haired bitch with a doll. I outta kill her," said the boy, grimacing in pain and fury.
"Raine, do you have another Pineapple Gel?" said a pale Hermione. "That last Healing Circle made me feel light-headed…"
"Here," said Neville, taking a moment to step away from the magical transporters they were using to transport the most critically injured. "It's my last one so be more careful from now on. Stick to First Aid and Nurse only if needed."
"I don't know why I'm having such a problem," groaned Hermione. "Healing Magic of this sort is much easier than I expected."
"Ms. Granger, your foolish refusal to accept Symphonian Magic is the reason your mana flow is so stunted," said Snape from a desk where he was sorting through the required triage healthcare paperwork.
"I guess proving a point isn't good when you end up being a hindrance to those around you," sighed Hermione, stepping away to help Neville.
"Must you be so hard on her, Severus?" Raine complained. "Can't you just let go of your hatred for Gryffindors for five seconds?"
"Raine, I have nine paper cuts and writer's cramp that is slowly evolving into carpel tunnel. I'm not Peaches; perkiness does not radiate from my body at any point of the day," Snape retorted. "Do you think I can even pretend to be in a good mood right now?"
"Point taken," sighed Raine, leaving him to write out another injury report for a boy named Malcolm Greensly.
As the sound of something large and heavy hit the shutters blocking the hospital wing from view, the special door opened and Sheena came in, dragging behind her two stretchers with the help of some MEDIA. She wheeled them to the waiting area, where four others were already queued for treatment. Sheena sighed, wiped her hands on her… ninja… outfit… thing and then approached Raine.
"I've got Tear behind me with six more. How are things in here?" asked Sheena.
"Well, we're holding down tight over here. As long as the enemy doesn't breach our defenses…" Raine muttered.
Just then, a random grate in the ceiling clattered to the ground and a blonde woman with cold eyes leapt to the ground, drawing out two handguns and pointing them in random angles around the room. A few students screamed and tried to escape, but the woman fired warning shots and blew out a few light fixtures, stopping everyone.
"Shut down all transportation devices. Do it now," said the woman in a slightly masculine, distant voice.
"Do as she says, Neville," said Raine, holding her staff at the ready. "Why have you chosen to attack our Hospital area? Do you not realize how much of a taboo that is?"
"I will not allow any of you to escape," said the woman. "You will remain here until the Commandant decides what to do with you."
Tear ran in, four stretches held on via her fingers and two more pushed entirely by MEDIA. She gasped and stared at the new arrival, instinctively pulling out her knives and staff thing. The woman sighed and looked at her with pity written all over her face.
"Tear Grants… again we must cross our blades…" said the woman.
"Major Legretta," said Tear, looking shocked. "You would attack the wounded?"
"It is as the Commandant ordered," said Legretta. "Stand down, Tear. This is all coming to an end."
"Arietta the Wild?" gasped Luke.
"That's right," squeaked Arietta in the MOST ANNOYING voice in the entire world. "My friends are going to cut out your throats."
"Your friends? You mean the monsters?" asked Dib.
"Yes. She never could have human friends because nobody likes a whiney little gothic brat. Nobody likes Goths, actually. They're hunted in Grand Chokmah," said Jade, smiling.
"That's not true! They have to express their pain with black clothes and mopey poetry!" cried Gaz, mockingly.
"Jeeze she's annoying," said Zelos, "You can't be one of my hunnies either."
"And what is with your dress? Do you have cancer of the lower back?" asked Gaz.
"Hey! This was a dress given to me by the Commandant!" Areitta shouted.
"I'm going to stab your vocal cords! What the hell is wrong with your voice?" asked Emily.
"That's enough from all of you! FEEL THE FIRST BEATS OF TIME!" shouted Arietta.
Around them, and only the group in front of Arietta, they found themselves floating in space again. Behind Arietta, a huge, bright ball of gas began to collect and get brighter. Emily, Luke, and Jade groaned, taking up stances in order to protect themselves. A cut-in of Arietta's sobbing, misery-ridden face flashed across.
"FALL! BIG BANG!" Arietta shouted.
The area exploded, knocking everyone back except Jade, Luke, Emily, and Gaz, who had all managed to block most of it. Arietta, shocked that it didn't work, was even more shocked when Jade shouted, "GORING HELL!" He lifted her off the ground with his spear and exploded a fireball in midair. At about that time, there was a crack from a sniper rifle above and the fireball exploded further as the bullet went through, and Arietta's limp, make-up-running-all-over-her-face-to-give-her-the-appearance-of-a-zombie body went right into the side of Building D, which was so far untouched.
"Well that was annoying," said Jade in a very upbeat voice. "Shall we be on our way?"
"This guy is scary," muttered Lloyd.
"Oh! Don't forget to fill out your Gothic Harvest Tag or the CIA will repossess your tibia," said Luna, handing Jade a small form.
"Diplomatic Immunity!" Jade chanted, holding up a small Grand Chokma ID.
"Well damn," said Luna, throwing the paper away. "Welcome to America!"
"Can we go now?" said Kratos, sighing. "We need to defeat the evil in Building C."
"Alright, alright, fine," said Luke. "Let's go."
"Well damn," said Matt, lowering the rifle. "Jade just happened to put her in a fireball when I tried to get a headshot from the little bitch. Oh well."
"It seems the air attacks have stopped," said Colette. "Professor, can we please go down and help our friends?"
"Yes," said Verminstrasser. "It would be best to vacate this spot. I'm sure our enemies have located us by now."
Her words came an instant too late. As she said that, there were three mysterious glows appeared in the clouds above them. Then, just like with Building C, they plummeted into the roof. The metal prevented damage from the building, but the massive Explosion spells instead sent most of the students flying off and to the ground below. Verminstrasser landed and action rolled, looking unscathed. Gir, Girtrude 2.0, and Peaches all stopped before hitting the ground, and Peaches managed to catch Genis, preventing him injury. Ginny and Sheena both hit hard, rolling along the ground with possible broken bones, and Ron was knocked out cold completely. Only Matt and Harry had managed to cling to the roof, though Colette was now suspended from Matt's other hand.
"Hang on!" Matt said, letting go.
Below them, he a Turbulence Spell was set off and Matt and Colette were both propelled just enough up that they were able to land gracefully on their feet next to Ginny and Ron. Harry levitated himself down and then knelt next to his girlfriend and best friend, a look of intense fury on his face.
"I'm going after those bastards in C," he said. "Someone dispatch Tear and Sheena."
"I'll wait here with them," said Peaches. "You guys go on ahead."
"Alright. We're counting on you, Peaches," said Genis.
Matt, Genis, Harry, Colette, Gir, and Girtrude 2.0, and the only other four other uninjured battlers ran towards the area where Building C used to stand. Along the way, a few stray ligers tried to block their path, casting a lightning-type spell at the group. Genis and Harry took the liberty of blocking those spells, but then they were faced with a bigger problem: Dementors.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" shouted Harry, displacing them for a minute.
"Incoming Liger, Harry!" called Colette a second too late. Harry was knocked to the ground and his wand flew from his hands as the monster made ready to rip his jaw out.
"Aqua Edge!" shouted Genis, sending the Liger flying backwards. However, the Dementors had taken this time to swarm and a deep cold came over them.
"I've got an idea," said Matt, shaking slightly as he stood with his bow held carefully behind his back, standing in a force-gathering pose, "Descend, oh spear of Heaven, and with thy might run mine enemy through to the bowels of the Underworld. BEGONE! HOLY LANCE!"
A group of swords made of light formed in a circle above the group. Then, one-by-one, they plunged themselves through the advancing Dementors, causing them to make a strange pain-like noise. They flew away, and their path was cleared to the Building, where three figures stood on the burned-out stoop. They caught sight of another advancing group: the melee fighters from below.
"Dib!" cried Colette, rushing forward to embrace him.
"Well hello there," said a cheerful Jade. "And how are you all doing today?"
"Dandy," said Matt, enjoying the bit of humor. "Any problems getting here?"
"We had to end a Goth but that's more of a glorious revival than anything. You?" asked Emily.
"Enough!" came a cold, high cry from the stoop. "Your lives end now!"
Another glow came from above and everyone stood around Jade who blocked the spell with his hand. His smile lingered as the smoke in front of the building cleared and the outlines of the three people became more solid. Suddenly, even Jade looked concerned, and he paid for his lapse in concentration when a spiral of light struck him through the chest. He grunted and fell to the ground.
"Who are you?" cried Lloyd.
"We are three of your worst nightmares. Prepare yourselves; your lives end now," came the cold, high voice again as they advanced out of the smoke.
"Major… Legretta, was it?" said Raine, as she moved toward one of the more sickly girls, who was going into shock from the turn of events. "Surely you understand the reason you cannot injure anyone in this room? Are you a cold-blooded killer or a respectable soldier?"
"I no longer differentiate between the two," said Legretta in a very quiet voice. "And that is… that is why I will take your lives here…"
She fired three shots at Raine, who was just able to conjure a Barrier spell in time. Anyone who had been on their feet was on the floor except for her, Snape, and Tear, who still looked stricken. Snape calmly stood up and Legretta turned her guns on him. He smirked at her.
"You are very weak minded," said Snape, fixing her with his gaze. "Let us prove just how much so…"
Suddenly, Legretta went rigid, staring at Snape. She began to breathe heavily, shuddering and twitching. Snape seemed to enjoy this more and more as the time went on. But, finally, he crossed a line. Even he realized it because a brief look of concern passed through his eyes as Legretta shouted, "NO!" and fired. Two shots took Snape in the chest, causing him to grunt and fall backward into his chair. Just as Legretta turned to fire on everyone else, a small piece of metal went flying through the air, hitting Legretta in the leg. She grunted and went to get it as another hit her chest.
"You've… thrown faster… Tear…" muttered Legretta, with a very faint note of pride in her quavering voice.
Looking at the ground, Tear held her left arm with her right, took a deep breath, and muttered, "Searing Sorrow."
And in a move that completely shattered the mildly emotional moment, a large, repetitive explosion of lava sent Legretta flying repeatedly into the ceiling. She made her funny "ah!" noise eighty times before the explosions stopped and Legretta fell to the ground, not moving. Tear collapsed, realizing she had to defeat the woman she most respected twice in one year. Raine, meanwhile, went to attend to Snape, who was becoming paler by the moment.
The figures finally emerged. The first, to Lloyd, Genis, Colette, Zelos, and Kratos' shocks, was Mithos Yggdrasil, the man who had twisted their two worlds apart so long ago. The second, making Harry and Luna gasp, was none other than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: Lord Voldemort. They leered at Lloyd and Harry respectively as the third figure made himself known. Dib and Zim both shuddered, knowing that as the last of the three main parts of the story, it would be someone they would fear. That's why when Vandesdelca "Van" Grants stepped forward, there was a moment of polite confusion.
"Wait, who are you?" asked Dib, cocking an eyebrow.
"Dorian General Grants," muttered Jade from the ground. "He's… the final boss in our game…"
"Hey! What about us?" asked Zim. "Where's our final boss?"
"Well you see… you guys never really had a final boss since you got cancelled early. So… we just substituted from Tales of the Abyss. We kinda had no choice," said Matt.
"… how did you know?" asked Van in a confused, indignant voice.
"… I wonder," Matt said, smiling obliviously.
"No matter. We'll defeat you here and now. BEGONE!" said Mithos, twisting forward and slamming himself into the ground in an OUTBURST attack.
The OUTBURST sent everyone flying backward as it was like an explosion attack. A couple managed to get up quickly and both Lloyd and Luke rushed the angel. Van cut Luke off and Lloyd instead felt the pain of another OUTBURST, which also sent Girtrude 2.0 flying as she tried to shoot by. Dib, meanwhile, circled around back in order to get a good shot at the man.
"DOUBLE DEMON FANG!" he shouted, though the shockwaves appeared to merely anger the man.
"OUTBURST!" shouted Mithos very flamer-like as he slammed Dib against the wall.
"You know," Dib moaned, standing up. "That's a pretty cheap attack."
"So? OUTBURST! Haha!" Mithos shouted as Dib was thrown like a rag doll. "You like that? OUTBURST! Oh yes! Take it! OUTBURST! OUTBURST! Oh man, I haven't felt this good in ages…"
"Voldemort, your life is mine!" said Harry while Matt and Emily closed in on both sides, Matt having taken a staff from a fallen battler.
"I think not," said Voldemort coldly. "Avada Kedavra Duo!"
Matt and Emily dodged by inches as identical jets of green light sailed into the buildings on either side of them. Matt fired back with a Spread spell which Voldemort turned into a snake, which sent itself at Emily who beheaded it. But during this time, Van had successfully sent Luke backwards with Raging Blast and instead attacked Emily from behind, causing her to fly forward. As if that wasn't enough, Voldemort took advantage of THAT distraction to turn to Matt, stupefying him to simplify things.
"No! NO!" Colette cried, throwing her chalk rams at them in a rage. "GRAND CHARIOT! GRAND CHARIOT!"
"Hey! It's only cool when I spam moves!" growled Mithos, descending upon her.
"No! You don't understand!" Colette screamed. "GRAND CHARIOT!"
"Colette!" cried Lloyd, running forward, but Van spun around and stabbed Lloyd so forcefully that the teen fell to the ground, a look of intense pain upon his face.
"Why isn't this killing you?" Van asked, angry.
"I casted the HP spell," said Luna cheerfully. "That's why none of us are dead yet. And same to you, of course."
"You little brat," Mithos said, altering his course for her. "JUDGEMENT RAY!"
"Oh well. It was fun for a few minutes," said Luna, accepting her fate and falling to the rays.
"Voldemort, take care of the robots," said Mithos, who noticed Gir and Girtrude 2.0 running around in panic mode.
"Of course," said Voldemort, blasting them apart and stopping their antics.
"You monsters," sobbed Colette. "STARDUST CROSS!"
She was doing virtually no harm to them; nobody was. Gaz and Harry attempted something covert but another OUTBURST from Mithos stopped them in their tracks. Dib was still lying on the ground by the wall as Gaz walked over to tend to Luna and Harry tried to roll to his feet, unsuccessful as Voldemort barred down on him. Iggins and Genis were long-since injured by a random monster and Zelos had been caught in another fight and didn't notice Van as he aimed a Negative Gate at his turned back. Now it was just Colette who stood in the way of the three.
"Please," she begged, falling to her knees at last. "Don't do this anymore…"
"You've been a thorn in my side ever since you rejected Martel," snarled Mithos. "Say goodbye to this world you fought so hard to keep. A shame it's going to be destroyed now."
"Don't you lay a finger on her," came a rough, cold voice.
Dib struggled to his feet and walked a few steps forward. He was very much in Overlimit. Suddenly, he stopped, and raised his sword above his head, a pink aura flying around him. The light flashed and it was clear he was finally going to do his Mystic Arte/Hi-Ougi.
"Don't you lay a finger on her," he repeated, cutting through with his sword. A red slash came forth and sliced through the three bad guys, who grunted in mild pain. He then swept the area with more slashes, and a pinkish aura formed around him. Then, the cut-out of Dib's seriously angry face came across as he shouted, "I'LL SHOW YOU THE POWER OF LOVE!"
In the corniest Mystic Arte possible, Dib floated about eight feet above the heads of the bad guys. He then released his hands from in front of his chest and a bunch of hearts exploded from there, raining down on them below in a flurry. They made fun little happy hit noises as they struck. Depleted, Dib fell to the ground, his knees giving away. Colette rushed to be next to him, and now it was their turn to be descended on together. The three bosses, who looked only mildly injured, began to move forward when a new voice stopped them.
"That is as far as you go," came a voice so chilling that even Voldemort's neck hairs stood.
Ms. Bitters and Presea had finally appeared. They were wearing matching black dresses, with the types of hats worn by women at funerals. The black netting hung in front of their faces and both looked stonily back at the three who had invaded. They walked across the silent battlefield as all eyes turned to them. Matt twitched, Emily moved around a bit, and Jade even managed to sit up; everyone else was either out or unable to move.
"Your lives have been meaningful to this point. You have served to better our youth in the fight to keep the world in order for at least a miniscule additional amount of time," said Ms. Bitters. "But your purpose has been served, your boundaries overstepped. It is time… for you to die. Presea, you know what to do."
"… yes…" said Presea, holding high a large, ceremonious ax. "It is… my destiny."
"Alright. DUO-GI!" shouted Ms. Bitters.
Two cut-outs, one of each Bitters and Presea, flashed across. Presea moved her ax in a special arc that blasted lines at Van, Voldy, and Yggy. The lines then lifted them into the sky.
"I, who hath served this world for an eternity, now fulfill the destiny that befalls one of my station. I shall unleash this power, for which there is no equal in this world," Ms. Bitters said. "BEGONE, BLEMISH OF THE EARTH!"
Two stars seemed to appear from nowhere, and the heat generated from each began to torch the three baddies. "DUEL THE SUN!" shouted Ms. Bitters.
"AQUARIAS SPHERE!" Ms. Bitters cried, and the suns were replaced by two thin, extremely powerful spirals of water that ran them through.
"PRISMIC STARS!" roared Ms. Bitters, her voice getting louder with each spell. This time, countless stars and planets shot through the Voldemort, Mithos, and Van, as the three screamed in pain.
"BRIGHTEST GATE!" screamed the teacher, as a single galaxy seemed to charge and give off the power of all the stars it contained at once.
"EXPLOSION NOVA!" was the call that game as a supermassive star exploded right on top of them.
"MAXWELL ROAR!" was followed by their suspension in front of a black hole as they were slammed by meteors being taken in by the black hole itself.
"DIMENSIONAL MATERIAL!" seemed to place them inside the black hole as the gravity seemed to suck them into the darkness as they screamed and faded from sight.
Then, it was calm, and Ms. Bitters spread her arms to the school and said, "Blue Earth!"
A healing aura unlike anything they'd ever experienced formed over the entire school. Anyone who was sick, injured, and even one who had died felt their wounds close, and their energy returned. The carcasses of the monsters were gone, and the trees were once again in full bloom. Even more shocking, Building C had rebuilt itself. One-by-one, everyone stood and moved to their friends.
"Zelos! Zelos are you alright?" screamed Tak, rushing over to leap into his arms as he stood. "Zelos… I thought…"
"It's alright, Tak," Zelos said in his most mature, soothing voice. "Everything's fine. I'm still here."
"Ginny?" Harry said, struggling to his feet. "Are you hurt?"
"No," Ginny said, quietly hugging him. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks to whatever that healing aura was."
"That was wicked," said Ron, holding his palm to his face. "One minute my hand is shattered into like six pieces and then the next second… I'm fine."
"What power… that was much more advanced than even the Planetary Fonic Arte," Jade mused, as though the battle that had just concluded had never occurred. "If only I could control it…"
"Then you'd be even scarier," Luke said. "I hope, for our sake, you never learn to use it."
"Genis, you okay?" Lloyd asked, helping his best friend stand.
"Well besides the fact I just had to help destroy my only half-elf friend for the second time in less than two years… yeah, I'm dandy," Genis said, dusting himself and his kendama off.
"I simply cannot believe they were still alive after we all subdued them once in our own areas," Kratos said, surveying the spot where Mithos, Voldemort, and Van had once stood. "It defies my understanding."
"But I'm pretty sure they're gone forever now," Matt said.
"Yeah, getting sucked into a black hole and hit by multiple planets kind of ruins your entire day," Emily agreed.
"I think it's just great we got to vanquish all our enemies together! What a unifying exercise!" chirped an ever-perky Peaches, who was being hugged around the middle by Gir and Girtrude 2.0
"We love you Momma Peaches," sang Girtrude 2.0, "Will you tell us a story?"
"I like pancakes!" Gir screamed, "Momma Peaches will you make Pancakes for us?"
"Momma Peaches? Gir… did that Black Hole mess with your programming functions?" asked Zim, looking concerned for his robot.
"Tell you what, let's go get Daddy Master to help us make the batter…" Peaches suggested.
"I told you, I'M NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS!" came the shout of Master Computer across the campus.
"STOP SHIRKING YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES!" Peaches roared back. "YOU IS GONNA PAY WHAT YOU OWE!"
"Isn't it great to see a happy family all together?" said Colette as Dib made sure she was uninjured.
"You never cease to amaze me," said Dib, looking still shaking. "I'm glad I finally got to use my Mystic Arte/Hi-Ougi."
"Did it even, like, do anything?" asked Iggins. "I mean it's clear that Ms. Bitters got the final hit on those guys. It's like your ultimate power didn't do anything."
"That's not true, moron," Gaz said, holding up a walkthrough. "The power of Love is a great weakness to both Mithos and Voldemort, thus lowering their defenses enough for Ms. Bitters' attacks to end them. Without it, the power they managed to obtain would have been able to withstand even that."
"Then what's Van's excuse?" asked Iggins in a haughty voice, hoping to salvage some form of victory from the argument.
"Van got dropped into the center of the earth when he was ten," said Luna. "That also ruins your life. Now if you don't stop ruining this happy moment of victory I'm going to draw and quarter to you and set your entrails on fire."
"Ah…" said Trelawney holding a card to her face mysteriously. "They approach!"
Everyone who had previously been within the hospital area came sprinting to the rest of them. Hermione, having gone way past the verge of tears minutes ago, collapsed into Ron and Harrys' arms. Raine threw her arms around her younger brother and gave Lloyd and uncharacteristic peck on the cheek for keeping him safe. Tear hugged Luke and then they both blushed and turned away from each other. Neville was randomly hugged by a smiling Luna, and they were both immediately swarmed with MEDIA, all of whom seemed to feel the need to get attention from Neville.
"But wait… to unleash such power…" said Verminstrasser, and suddenly a look of fear came on her face. "… no…"
"What is it?" Regal asked, concerned.
"It is as you fear," said Snape. "The amount of mana and magic unleashed by that woman in that short attack… no human body could ever support the mana going through it."
"The fonons would easily separate," said Tear, still flushing a bit. "So… where is Ms. Bitters?"
That's when everyone realized for the first time that they could not see the teacher. Presea, however, was kneeling next to the building. Closer inspection showed a nearly-transparent Ms. Bitters hovering next to her, speaking an obviously prepared speech of passage.
"… and with this," said Ms. Bitters. "I pass the torch to Presea. It is now your job to educate the masses on how to preserve the world. I trust you can accept this task?"
"For honor, glory, and Sparta," said Presea, nodding.
"Very well," said Ms. Bitters, fading from sight.
"Did… did she…" Colette stuttered.
"She's gone," said Dib. "I'm at once relieved and saddened."
"Goodbye, our teacher," said Ginny. "You were a true hero in this."
"May the Fujibayashi clan welcome you into the afterlife," Sheena said.
"But the knowledge of how to do that! How will we ever know?" Raine squealed, making a few people glare at her.
"Does this mean Presea can do it now?" asked Luna. "That whole do-some-spacey-stuff-and-suck-enemies-into-a-black-hole thing?"
"Yes, so don't make her mad," said Gaz, turning her attention on them.
"It is my duty," explained Presea. "As one who is descended from the chosen line. Ms. Bitters' time of carrying the weight was over. It is my turn now."
"What are we going to do without Ms. Bitters?" asked a rather sad-looking Matt.
"Rejoice and be happy," said Zelos, "No more fate hanging over us."
"Oh but she's not dead," said Trelawney, grinning psychotically. "She's just immaterial. Now she's basically a ghost."
Suddenly, a very transparent Ms. Bitters floated out of the school and set her hand on Zelos' shoulder. The boy turned slowly to face her and cringed, gulped, and realized his life was about to be ruined sixty times over. She didn't speak; it was unnecessary. She was here to stay and there was nothing they could do.
"In honor of the sacrifice of this great woman, all remaining exams have been cancelled," said Kratos, while Raine looked mildly scandalized.
"HOORAY FOR MS. BITTERS!" shouted everyone, applauding her as she floated angrily right near the foot of Building C.
"Your exam grades will be returned by Monday and your flights will leave Tuesday. GO IN PEACE!" she shouted, disappearing into the closed doors.
"Well that was the most awkward school year I've ever been through," said a bemused Genis as everyone went their separate ways from Building C. "I don't know if I learned nothing, or everything."
"But we did have some sweet adventures," said Colette. "And met some amazing new friends."
"I'll keep in touch with all of you," said Ginny. "It's been fun travelling all over the world and beyond."
"Our paths have been interwoven. I'm sure we will meet again. This was not our final adventure," Presea said sagely.
"I can only hope our next adventures involve going somewhere warm, sunny, and with babes in swimsuits," said Ron wistfully.
"Gee, I wonder if that was aimed at anyone," said Zelos, smirking at Sheena. "Ladies, feel free to give me your names and numbers, I'll be free all summer. Guys… well… it's been fun."
"I want to know how you all did on your exams," said Hermione, earning quite a few shocked and disgruntled stares. "Er… to… share in your successes with you."
"You all are my BFFs forever," sobbed Peaches. "I've got your personal data inside my memory banks, so we'll always be able to keep in touch."
"That's fantastic," said Neville. "Can I see that sometime?"
"I've got the CIA Factbook," said Luna. "I've got way more on all of you than you'd ever want to know about yourselves. Oh and I don't get cell service at my house, so try getting me on IM, kay?"
"The Irken Race will surely grant you all amnesty once we conquer this disgusting planet," said Zim. "And… even I have grown to… ugh… accept you all."
"When you pansies are done being sentimental," said Gaz. "We're having one last video game bash. Everyone's invited. DDR, Halo, Mario Party, and plenty of other fun awaits. TO THE GYM!"
"HUZZAH!" everyone shouted, sprinting to the gym over the newly-mowed lawns of Whitestone. Above them, shooting through the clouds, Gir and Girtrude 2.0 chased down a missile and began to play catch as the birds sang and the bees hummed across the campus of Whitestone. And the world was at peace once again… for at least a couple hours.
FROM THE AUTHOR'S MIND (June 2011):
I originally left this up as the "Ending" for some time and then did one more chapter. I regret nothing. Also, if anyone wants to see basically what Ms. Bitters did, YouTube Tales of Rebirth Hi-Ougi's and look for Duel (Dual?) the Sun and the extensions. Also, I had found a spot, while editing, where I used "your" instead of "you're" and I wanted to kill myself.