Soulchanging

Chapter 8

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Goliathus was alone, sitting in the middle of a strange field with dried corn husks surrounding him from every angle, and clearing away just enough to leave a circle of grassy field inbetween. The sky was an eerie sort of grayish, cloudy mass, with spectrals of light weaving through the sky here and there like living lightning. A single bolt of this energy suddenly came down right in from of him, and formed into a familiar image, slowly but surely.

Darius Jenner.

Damn it all to hell. Why did it have to be Darius Jenner, his most painful memory aside from his own tortured past?

It's great to see you, too. Darry raised an eyebrow, and folded his arms.

Goliathus blinked his reptilian, grey eyes with an intent stare that spoke volumes of confusion and sadness. This had never happened to him before in all his thousand years of taking human lives. He was sure of it. Not a single, cursed time had any human soul revisited him. He KNEW it was so. It had to be.

What are you staring at?

It took some time to accept the voice of the young man, as something real and not some tragic overflow of his tortured mind coming to haunt him. The more he stared at the boy, the more he knew this really was Darius. There was no denying it. His eyes even seemed to be there and yet not be there at all. It sent shivers down his spine, another new and totally foreign sensation.

Are you hearing me? Darry took a few steps closer in his ghostly form, almost causing Goliathus to want to get up and step away.

Yes. Deep inside he wished he would stop talking and just go away.

Go...away...

Good. Listen up. You had better ignore that strange voice you hear.

Strange. Nothing could be more strange then hearing Darry right now, talking to him in this odd and bizarre mental plane.

What voice? He knew the answer, but always tried to deny it.

Darry sighed. It sounded totally unlike a normal sigh, something more like sadness personified. The VOICE that made you KILL.

Goliathus was staring at Darry's eyes again. They seemed to almost glow now. The voice...that...?

How could you not see it? That all these years a demon controlled your mind? Sure, you had hatred towards humans cause of what they did to you, but...what do you think REALLY made you do what you did...or made you stitch your victims high up on walls in a bloody tapestry? You were weak, ya know. Your mind is your weakness, Goliathus. And It found that weakness.

The heradus didn't know what to feel. He had gone numb.

I can help you. But in the end, you will have to fight it, make it leave. It's still here, Goliathus, and some day it could even convince you to kill Ami. Right now...right now though... Darry stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder as if he swore something was there, even though Goliathus could see nothing behind him. Slowly the young man turned back to face him once more. For now you're ok, since this love you've experienced has caused it to withdraw. It can't stand emotions like that. Really, really hates it.

You are telling me I am not cured, then?

Hardly. With the demon temporarily...uhh..shall we say... "disarmed",...you're merely free from its grasp for the time being. But once it comes back...it's back to the Creeper. Same old flying creature going around and torturing human victims. Pigging out on their insides, going back to your 23 years curse. I'm tellin' ya.

Goliathus swallowed hard.

Back to tearing people's eyes out. Separating brothers from their sisters. Killing farmers' kids...

I get it! SHUT UP! Goliathus wanted to roar, but no sound came from him here. It was like something even prevented him from opening his mouth at all. He couldn't even tell what was real or not anymore, but for certain he knew Darry was real. That he did know.
He felt like crying. But tears never came to his eyes more then one or two at a time. Perhaps he was not capable of true sadness in its most raw, physical form.

Darry frowned. You have changed. That sort of talk would have been enjoyable once before.

I hate it. Do not talk to me like that anymore. Why are you here, to torment me? Have not I been tormented enough? I want forgiveness. But those other voices, legions of them...they plague me every night. I do not know what to do.

The frown remained on the deceased boy's face, like it was painted there. It's a strange thing. You need to ask for forgiveness, but so do the people that tormented you. And that will never happen. Those are suffering for their cruelty, I can assure you.

They are?

I can assure you. Darry finally sat down in front of him.

There was a very long time of silence. Perhaps for over an hour. At least it seemed that way.

Though the winged being felt incredibly sad, still no tears came to his eyes, as much as they stung and burned regardless. I do not...deserve...forgiveness. And yet I crave it. Crave it more then any... He paused for moment. I will not blame them if they do not forgive me.

Yeah well...like I said...I forgive you.

Goliathus had been staring down at the ground, but he lifted his eyes to meet with Darry, who was now resting his chin in his hand.

Why? Why would you?

You took my eyes, and part of me became part of you. My soul could now see what you see, and I saw visions of your past. That made me think differently of you. And so...I know what you did and why you did it. And I forgive you because of that.

What in the world could he say to that? He wracked his brain for something, but all he could come up with was the most simple of statements for the situation. Then...thank you.

Yeah. Welcome.

How could you help me?

By being here. Remember how you regretted killing me, and you may keep the demon at bay. Regret is something it certainly doesn't want you to feel, and also loathes. If you regret, then you don't want to take and kill innocence. That strengthens your mental barriers, and keeps it away.
For now.

So you are staying here with me...instead of... the realization really hit Goliathus hard in that moment, ...instead of going over to be with your family?

Darry shrugged, and nodded. I guess so.

No! You should go with them, and be happy. I do not understand this. Why would you sacrifice so much? Go...just go and be with your loved ones. I am nothing but sadness and a creature unworthy of your compassion.

You feel that way about Ami, too?

Of course. I love her, but I cannot help but feel she is wasting her emotions on me. He didn't really want to say it, but it came to his mind anyway. She should leave me...love a human...perhaps Nix, who she seems fond of...

It's a little late for that.

Goliathus tilted his head. Late?

Yep. You can't just leave Ami, or even expect her to leave you. It's not gonna happen, anyway.

And you are so sure of this?

With a child on the way, it's not going to happen. Darry seemed to speak that statement with the utmost finality.

Child? Did he just say child? For a moment, Goliathus felt something akin to joy at the thought of his own child...to create life rather then to take it...but quickly his own despair wrenched him away from such thoughts.

Child... His hands were quivering. He was feeling things he was not supposed to feel, and his body was trying to reject it.

Get used to me being here. Talk to me when you're feeling that strange, dark, and evil urge coming over you. If this sky turns black, you are back to your old, horrid self.

No...gawd no...he just couldn't let that happen...

The voice?

I will try to help you block it out. But no guarantees. Darry suddenly looked skyward, and his image wavered. I'm losing energy. I've got to back for a while, but I'm still here...don't forget that.

Go...where...?

But Darry finally faded, turning into a small ball of light and darting back up to the lightning-strewn sky.

And with that, Goliathus snapped open his eyes. The dream was over.

/

Ami found herself smiling in her blissful state of half-sleep, letting her mind wander and drift, taking her wherever her imagination thought of giant, friendly dragons one moment, then soaring the skies on a magnificent griffin the next...or a heradus. Then it all ended, as she heard Goliathus almost scream and shoot up to a sitting position. He was covered in sweat, and shaking all over.
Gollie?
Ami was truly worried, for he had never done that before. He had always slept like a stone, hardly even moving. She sat up herself and held him, disbelieving at the way he was shaking.
Quickly, though, it ceased, and finally he looked at her. I am...all right.
Ami sighed and squeezed him a bit tighter. You sure? You're as hot as someone with a fever.
I do not get sick.
Yeah I know, but...I just, well, I never saw you like this.
It was a...a bad dream.
Really? Was it about any of...you know...them?
No. Well...yes. It was Darry, actually... Goliathus wanted to tell her the whole thing, but then thought better of it. Surely a story like that would only freak her out badly. The last thing she needed to know was that some demon still possessed his soul, and that at any moment the thing could try and come back to use him as its puppet once more.
Darry? Hm...that still bothers you, doesn't it?
He nodded slightly. He wasn't sure what to tell her at all.
Geez that's understandable, Gollie. I'm sure this will take you quite some time to deal with. But I'm here for you. She smiled, and held him tight. She was certainly here to help him, almost like her destiny, a true calling.
I know...I know you are... Goliathus had the sudden thought to touch her belly, as if he would feel something. But there was no unusual sensation, and in fact her stomach was as flat as it always was. He sighed. It would have been nice if that part of the dream were true, but he really believed it was just wishful thinking. Ami giggled, not understanding at all what he was doing. Have you noticed? I did put on a few pounds...damned brownies Toby's mom makes are too good, ya know.
What? He blinked at her, then grinned vaguely. Oh yes, those things. I do not know how you stand them.
Ami giggled more, then yawned and lied back down. I need my beauty sleep. You sure you're ok?
He nodded, but it was a lie. A sad, sad lie. I am fine, love. You go back to sleep.
It was easy to comply, and Ami was back asleep in mere minutes, her steady, rhythmic breathing soothing to his ears. He concentrated on it for a long while...and then some overwhelmingly depressing thought of that breathing coming to an end...of there being no more Ami caused him to curl up and wrap his wings tightly around him.

Darry...

I'm always here. The response could have just been his memory of the previous dream, it certainly sounded distant. And yet, those three simple words gave him some kind of calm...a peace that eased his pain a little.

Of all things...for him to make friends with someone he killed. Someone whose life he took even though his own sister pleaded with every ounce of her being to spare him.

To take her.

The hell with it all...why was he even born! To suffer all of this! He almost wanted to hate Maniel. To even hate Annabelle.
And then he thought about how the demon would want that...how it would feed off those emotions...and with a low snarl he forced it away.
The only killing he was going to do would be to vampires. And THAT was a solemn vow he would not break...even if it destroyed him.

For now...for now he could focus on the one true meaning to his existence. Slowly unfurling his wings, he laid back down, drawing Ami close to him, and reveling in how her small frame pressed to him, snuggling against his side. Even asleep, her feelings for him shined through.
Goliathus felt his eyes closing again, sleepiness washing over him.

And as his mind drifted off, there was a voice, a small, tiny, and energetic one...sounding far and yet so near...promising a happiness he could never dream would actually be real...

I'm coming daddy...

/

End of Chapter 8

And so ends this story I have spent many months dreaming up! I was so happy to end this chapter like I really wanted. I thought I could never get down the ideas I had but my writing muse was good to me. And don't worry, this is hardly the end! I haven't forgotten about Donovan & Co, that all continues in "Goliathus Chronicles"! I thank everyone for the reviews and please feel free to let me know what you thought overall of this story!