It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry for not visiting you till now, it was just too painful for me. We have a girl, and she turns one today. It's so ironic; they're both born on your birthday, and they're both so much like you. Our son has red hair, but he has those white eyes with a tint of lavender, as you would remember. You never saw our daughter, but she's as gorgeous as you are. She's got that midnight blue hair, and her eyes are like her brother's. Usually our son's quiet, I guess he got that from both of us. She doesn't cry much, but I'm afraid I wouldn't know. I have to apologize again – lately it's Temari, Shikamaru and Kankuro who have been taking care of the children. Your expression as you lay on that bed, as you writhed under the intensity of the pain, as you forced a smile… They burn in my mind, I cannot take it… and whenever I look at the two angels they remind me of you… But I'm recovering, and the adults have been teaching me how to care for them. They've also been helping with the Kazekage duties. I owe them so much. I miss you so much.
~X~
Hello again. Today our daughter turns six, and our son turns nine. I'm really sorry I've only visited you now; it's just that it's really difficult being a single parent… Our daughter's going to enter the academy next year; she's very excited about it. Our son's been commended as a prodigy, and he's going to graduate from the academy next year. Neji's been coming over whenever he can to teach him about his bloodline, I was never good at teaching. He's been asking questions about you, but being the coward I am, I keep telling him he'll know one day. How am I to break the news to him? Even in the briefest memory he is able to remember you, and I can't keep brushing him off… Our daughter has noticed that other children have two parents instead of one, and no matter how much time Kankuro, or Temari, or Shikamaru spend with them they will realise something's up. I know it's stupid and pathetic of me to complain, and even more so when I find I hate you at some moments, but it's not like you wanted it to be this way… I just miss you so much.
~X~
It's me again. Today the children are a year older; our son's now a Chuunin at thirteen, and our daughter's going to graduate this year. She's also been hailed as a prodigy, and I suppose that's nothing less from our children. They're both very well behaved, but when they do get into trouble our son makes sure he defends his sister first… I wonder who that reminds you of? We're all very excited for her, and I'm sure you are too. Just to update you; Shikamaru and Temari are expecting their first child later this year, and Kankuro and Matsuri have announced their marriage. Neji's just gotten married to that Ten-Ten girl, and Hanabi has progressed through the ranks of Konoha nicely. But I'm sure you knew all this anyway, wherever you are. I hope you don't mind; I've been giving our son C-rank missions straight away since he became a Chuunin, and after I deemed him fit when he was a Genin. Our son hardly ever complains about his missions anyway, but whenever his team comes over for a meal or discussion I see his eyes flit over to the girl in his team… Our daughter's been demanding I do the same after she graduates, but I just can't bear to do it… What do you think? What would you have said to me? I see so much of you in her; she has your personality, and your traits… I miss you so much.
~X~
Who knew sixteen years would pass so fast? Our daughter's sixteen now, and our son's nineteen. I was right about that girl – she's been coming over regularly now, and our son relaxes whenever she's around. I'm happy for him, and I'm sure you are too. Both of them are Jounin now, and it hurts whenever I have to assign them S-rank missions, yet I know our son will protect our daughter with all he's got and vice versa. Kankuro and Matsuri have a little girl of three years now, and Shikamaru and Temari are expecting another child. They say they're hoping for a girl because they've already got a son, but I know they'll be happy regardless. Neji and Ten-Ten have a four-year-old child, and I've heard Hanabi forbade the Hyuuga elders from branding the seal on the boy. I know you'll watch over all of them.
Anyway, Our daughter's really pretty, and she's been having some trouble keeping away from the boys in her team. I've had to threaten them with a broom before they went away, and even now I think they're her secret admirers. I know the way we fell in love isn't the best romance story, but I think that's not a very healthy way to show their love. She says she'll never get married, but I'm afraid we'll have to see about that, won't we? Well, both of them know the truth of your death now. They're old enough to understand the circumstances, but they cried nonetheless. I cried with them too, but you never scolded me for crying, did you? Afterward they said they suspected it, but never did have the guts to ask me. They also said it was good I came clean, it gave them some closure and it lifted a weight off their shoulders.
I must admit, lately my shoulders have been a little stiff. It's rather funny for me. To think, I'm getting a little old for this ninja world. If only you were there to see it, see the journeys our children – your children – participated in. I miss you so much.
~X~
Today our son is twenty-five, our daughter is twenty-two, and it is his wedding day. His bride really is beautiful, I wish them both happiness. He says he would have loved it if you were there, and I felt a strange wetness in my eyes. Regardless, the ceremony was well planned and we'll have to thank Temari and Matsuri for that. Our son's off to his honeymoon while his sister stays behind with me. She still says she won't ever get married, but I can see another wedding around the corner; there's a rather capable young Jounin who refuses to give up his suit – broom, sand, wind, puppet, weapon, Byakugan or otherwise. I would wish a gruesome, dishonorable death on the man, but that wouldn't be fair, would it? You always scolded me for wishing ill on others. I miss you.
~X~
Today I got news of our son's first child. The medics say it is a boy, but that's what they said about our daughter as well, wasn't it? We both know the couple will be happy with whatever gender, regardless. Our daughter finally did get married, the day before she and her brother turned twenty-five and twenty-eight respectively. She said she didn't want to marry later than her older brother, that silly girl. Again, I was right about that Jounin, he courted her and she eventually started to love him. I wonder who that reminds you of?
My bones are getting a little weak, this ninja world is wearing me out really quickly, though we've been enjoying peace since the war ended. I'm afraid I won't be able to visit you as much, but you always liked to be alone for a bit, didn't you?
~X~
This is the last time I'll be talking to you like this. Six grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews later, I feel age really has caught up with me. I saw our children grow up, saw your children grow up. I saw them go through life without one parent, when I knew the pain of being targeted by one. I might have never wanted to kill our children, but their hurt and confusion must have been as painful as my experiences.
But I guess it's comforting to know I'll be able to see you soon. When I do, you can tell me your insights, your views. I've not heard your voice for so long – I'm scared I might have forgotten the velvety tone, or that soft pitch, or the gentleness in it…
You could call me crazy for anticipating this, when I'm trying so hard to breathe for our children bawling their white eyes out next to me, or when I have to look at the expressions on Temari's, or Kankuro's, or Neji's face, or when I force a twitchy smile when one of our innocent grandchildren ask if I'm alright. Still, you always said my logic was ridiculous, didn't you?
I've missed you so much, Hinata.