Left Behind

Chapter 8

Answers on the Battlefield

Tal's thoughts were in turmoil as Tess drove him back to the battlefield. He couldn't even bring himself to take one last look back at the homestead. He clutched the warm package of muffins, and reminded himself he was doing this for all the right reasons. He resisted the urge to glance over at Tess' face. He still couldn't figure out why telling Tess his age had brought her to tears. He truly wasn't any good at these social things. He looked down at the muffins. Despite how inept he was, Tess had been kind to him anyway. He wondered how the rest of his unit would react when he returned. He expected they would be surprised. But, he didn't actually expect anyone to be happy. They would want to know what happened to Sky. They definitely wouldn't be happy when he told them about Sky. He'd still have to spend some time in the medcenter. He doubted anyone would visit him. He was already dreading the long, dreary hours in the medcenter. His fingers ran along a crease on the foil of the muffin package, thinking of the hours he'd spent watching Tess in the kitchen while he'd been recovering. He rested his broken hand on top of his broken helmet while the scenery sped by. Tal didn't remember the exact distance to the battlefield. He'd been so out of it when Tess had first rescued him.

"So, what exactly are you planning on doing when we get to the battlefield?" Tess' voice startled him.

She gazed over at Tal. He had been so silent for the entire trip so far, just staring out at the countryside going by.

Tal's gestured gestured clumsily to his broken helmet, using his casted hand.

"I'm hoping to find the parts I need to repair my bucket. Uh, my helmet." Tal said, "or just grab a whole other one. I'll signal my unit. Then, I just wait. They'll track me, and send someone to retrieve me...when they can."

Tal looked over at Tess. She was completely silent, and looked pale.

"What's wrong?" he asked with concern, putting a hand on her sleeve.

She shook her head, and didn't say anything. Tal wondered again what he had said wrong. He was feeling so lost about much of what he'd done. Tal sighed, and shook his head. Well, soon, he could stop messing things up so badly. Tal was so lost in thought, he was surprised when Tess pulled the speeder to a halt.

"We're here," Tess said, still sounding shaken and unsure. Tal took a quick peak at her face. She looked pale. Why? But, she was already getting up, and coming around to help him up. He was stiff from sitting, and groaned a little as she gently pulled him up. "You OK?" she asked, with concern.

Tal nodded, staring around at his surroundings. The scene had changed dramatically from the last time he'd been there. With the smoke of the battle gone, the area once again looked just like a country valley - just with a lot of droid parts. The rain had encouraged the first blooms of spring. The flowers and grasses sprouted up around partial and full droid torsos, and bits and parts of broken droid tanks. Tal pulled himself free of Tess and walked slowly and carefully on his own. He walked several paces in one direction, then slowly turned, and walked several paces in another. Tess was a few steps behind him, ready to intervene if necessary. But, she gave him his space. He looked down, around, his gaze scanning up and down the hillside. Tess continued to watch him, silently.

She watched him bend over to pick up something that looked like a flash of white. His face flashed with pain as he bent over, grabbing his ribs. Tess began walking toward him. He looked at the piece with disgust, and discarded it.

"Just a droid part," he said, still halfway stooped over.

Tess moved to his side, and helped him gently straighten up.

"I don't get it," he said, "where are all the clones? Where are my brothers?"

He looked at Tess. Her face was pale, and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

His brow furrowed in confusion, "What's wrong?"

"Come with me," Tess said, her voice hitching. She looped an arm around his waist, and gently led him up the hillside. They kept climbing until they reached a spot that looked out over the valley below. "Are you OK?" Tess asked, once they'd reached the top. It had been a long climb. Tal nodded. Despite the difficulty of the climb, he'd enjoyed the closeness to Tess. He didn't know why he was here, but he could appreciate the beauty of the spot. It was a breathtaking spot. They could see the entire valley below them. Far off in the distance he could even make out a farmhouse and a barn. Tal pointed to the property.

"Tess, is that your-"

Tess nodded.

"Tess, I don't get it. Why are we-" Tal started.

And, then he spotted them.

Row after row of neat mounds of earth. Freshly dug. He looked over at Tess, understanding finally sinking in. Her late nights, her exhaustion, the mud clinging to her boots. Tal broke free from Tess, and slowly walked over to the mounds of dirt. He slowly and carefully walked around each and every mound. He then turned back toward the battle field below, for a long moment, silent and unmoving.

Tess stayed where she was - giving him his space. Tal finally turned, and faced Tess. He looked at her, struggling for words. He looked up toward the sky, hoping maybe Cooper could give him some inspiration. Cooper? What do I do here? Little help, buddy! He'd been messing everything up so badly lately. He wanted to get this right-

Tess broke the silence, her head bowed, "Tal, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you needed the helmets. Do you want me to -"

Tess looked up startled as she felt Tal's hands on her shoulders. She hadn't even heard him walk over. She felt his gloved, armored hand tilt her chin up so that her face looked into his. His intense brown eyes bored into hers.

Next thing she knew, his lips had descended upon hers. She was so startled she didn't respond at first. She just gasped. Tal pulled back at her gasp, looking into her eyes. She could see the question in his eyes. She took her hand and interlaced it between his gloved fingers. Tal looked down at their intertwined hands, and then back up at Tess. She leaned in toward him. He brushed the tears off her face with his fingertips. His lips came down upon hers again - slower this time. She leaned in to meet him halfway. He brought one arm down around her back and pulled her closer to him. She slid one arm around his neck, craving the closeness. She lost all track of time as their lips met and exchanged pent-up feelings. Finally, they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Tal gripped her hand possessively in his, and walked with her over to the grave mounds.

"Clones don't usually get much of a burial," Tal started out, speaking softly, "We just grab the ID tallies. Bodies are disposed of in the most efficient manner possible. Much of the time we have to just leave our brothers behind." Tess could hear the pain in his voice, as he said the last sentence.

Tal sank down to his knees, and puts his hands on one of the mounds. He cocked his head, and looked up at her, "You took the time to bury men you didn't even know." He said the words almost reverently.

"Why?" he asked at last.

Tess sank down to her knees next to him.

Tess felt tears beginning to flow again. She wished she could stop crying. "It's my fault," she whispered hoarsely, putting her hands on the mound next to his. The tears dripped off the bottom of her chin, and plinked down onto the soft mound below.

Tal looked at her, confused. "What's your fault? General Grevious? The war in the Outer Rim? The Jedi?"

Tess shook her head, "I could have saved more of your brothers if I had reacted faster... That day, when the droid squads came through, if only I hadn't stopped to search for weapons. If I'd known that some of these men were still alive, then maybe I could saved them before-"

Tal quickly dusted his hands off against his armor, and silenced her by placing a gentle finger against her lips.

"You didn't kill these men, Tess."

"But, I could have saved them! They were only 13!"

Tal thought this would be a bad time to point out he was actually one of the oldest clones on the battlefield. As the war progressed, shinies were being rushed out of training in Kamino at age five. There were rumors of Coruscant-manufactured clones that were battle-ready from vat to finish in just over twelve months. So, yeah, thirteen was old. But, for some reason, Tess didn't seem to think so.

"These men died in combat, Tess. You didn't kill them."

"But, I was able to save you!"

Tal smiled sadly, brushing Tess' hair back from her face, "A lucky stroke of fate, I think, helped along by you." Tal pointed down to the mounds of earth all around them, and said gently, "This was my brothers' fate, Tess. This was their time to die."

Tess buried her face gently against Tal's chest for a moment, composing herself. Then, she took a deep breath, and looked up at him again. She put her hand on top of Tal's helmet, clipped to his belt. Trying to keep her voice calm and steady, she asked: "Do you still want those parts, so you contact... the others?"

Tal turned and faced the valley, looking out at the scene of the battlefield. He was quiet for a long moment. He looked back at the mounds of fresh earth, regarding them for a long time. He unclipped his broken helmet from belt and stared into it. It's broken visage stared back at him. He finally met Tess's eyes.

"I think the war is over for me."

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Tal asked Tess where she'd buried the clone who was with him the day Tess found him.

"He was the first one I buried," Tess said, quietly. Tess pointed.

Tal nodded. "His name was Sky," Tal said, closing his eyes at the mention of the fallen clone.

"Do you want to-" Tess indicated the mound. Tal nodded. Tess took Tal by the hand. They walked slowly to the very first of the mounds. It was under a tree whose branches were just budding with their first spindly green blossoms of spring. Tal handed her his helmet. Tess nodded, and walked away for a moment. She returned with the shovel she'd been using to dig the graves. She dug out a spot next to Sky's grave, and reverently placed the helmet in the hole. Tal had a lump in his throat as he watched Tess push dirt back over his helmet, obscuring it completely from view.

That life was over.

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