Chapter 9
"Why did you guys have to accept Neji's idea to have dinner with all of us again?" Sasuke asked that evening. He was sitting on the couch and looked at Suigetsu. "I mean, I told you I wasn't going to spend time with Neji anymore, but you guys invite him over."
"Well unlike you, 'we' like Neji." Suigetsu said, while he was drinking some water. "And we like Kiba, who's coming too. You don't 'have' to talk to your lover."
Sasuke gave Suigetsu a glare now.
"He's not my lover, who gave you that idea?" He said, maybe a little too snappy.
"Because you react far too snappy for not liking him." Suigetsu, giving Sasuke a smirk.
"Well you are wrong." Sasuke said. At that moment, the doorbell rang and Sasuke got up to get the door. But before he could open it, Kiba and Neji were already inside, having let themselves in. "You're supposed to wait until someone answered the door." Sasuke told them.
"Oh come on, don't be so grumpy." Kiba said as he gave Sasuke a hit on the shoulder.
"We have another guy coming here soon." Neji informed everyone.
Sasuke looked at Neji and then waited till Kiba was occupied with Suigetsu, to ask Neji.
"Can we go upstairs for a second?" He asked Neji, looking at him.
"Who is coming over here? Do we know the guy?" Suigetsu asked Neji, who pushed Kiba aside a little to look at Neji.
"Shikamaru, a guy we met yesterday." Neji said. "He could tell us something about someone who has something to do with Sasuke's past."
"... When did you talk to him?" Sasuke asked, frowning a little.
"Today, I asked him to come over to tell us more about Orochimaru." Neji answered, as he walked into the living room and sat down.
"... Did you go and look for him?" Sasuke asked as he followed Neji.
"Yeah, he knows stuff and he seems trustable." Neji said, as he looked at Sasuke.
"... Oh.. Neji can we talk? Upstairs?" Sasuke asked. Neji had gone through the trouble of finding someone who maybe knew more. Sasuke felt like he needed to make up for his behaviour now.
"Do we have to?" Neji asked, pulling up an eyebrow.
"Yes we do." Sasuke answered, a little more stern now.
Neji looked at Sasuke for some time, before he got up and he walked towards the stairs, going up. He had no idea what Sasuke wanted to talk about now.
Sasuke quickly followed Neji, giving Kiba and Suigetsu a glare when they whistled. Once both of them were upstairs Sasuke looked at Neji.
"... I'm sorry. And thanks." He said.
"I think you need to give a little more explanation to that." Neji said.
"I'm sorry for my behaviour. I was just angry. So..." Sasuke said, not looking at Neji.
"..That's ok." Neji said, shrugging.
"Well I'm sorry." Sasuke said. "And thank you for seeking that guy out. I know you didn't do it for you."
"I guessed I should make it up to you a little since I scared the freaky guy away." Neji said, giving Sasuke a slight smile.
"Well I'm not ready to go with him so... just.. Sorry and thank you." Sasuke said.
Neji nodded to Sasuke.
"You're welcome." He then said. He then walked towards the stairs again, ready to go down to the others.
Sasuke looked at Neji leaving and then quickly followed him. When he passed Neji, he gave Neji's hand a quick brush. Maybe Neji would notice, maybe not. But Sasuke had just realised that Neji might just be what he needed to see things positive again.
Neji looked up and watched Sasuke walk down the stairs, before following him. He didn't know why, but it felt like things would go easier with them from now on for sure.
When Sasuke and Neji entered the living room again, another person had arrived. Shikamaru was standing in the living room, getting questioned by Suigetsu and Kiba.
"Neji told us you know things. You don't look that smart to me though." Suigetsu said smirking. Sasuke sighed. Suigetsu was annoying.
"I'm smart enough not to go into discussion with you." Shikamaru said and then turned around. "Hey Neji."
"Hey Shikamaru." Neji said, giving Shikamaru a friendly nod. "Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it."
"Yeah sure. I already said, everything beats my mom's cooking." Shikamaru said grinning. "So who is who?"
"This is Sasuke." Neji said, pointing to Sasuke. "The noisy guy here is Suigetsu, the other noisy guy is Kiba. Karin is probably in the kitchen but you know her already, and have you ever heard of Juugo?"
"He's been watching some birds with me some times." Shikamaru said nodding. He gave everyone a look, and Sasuke almost thought he looked at Kiba a little longer then at the rest. A little more intense too, but that was probably his imagination.
"Who is Orochimaru?" He then asked.
"A scientist." Shikamaru answered. "At least that's what he claims. He's just a murderer if you ask me."
"Why then?" Neji asked. "Let's sit down in the living room. Do you want something to drink while you tell us?"
"A beer would be nice." Shikamaru said. They all went to the living room and sat down, waiting for Shikamaru to say more.
"Well, to answer your question, he experiments on people. And we all know not every experiment turns out the way we want. He has killed lots of people in the process of finding... something. I don't know what he wants to achieve." Shikamaru said.
"I'll go get his beer." Kiba said as he rushed to the kitchen. Neji nodded to him thankfully and then sat down.
"So did you speak to one of those people or..?" Neji asked. "Are those people relatives or does he kidnap them?"
"I think he goes out looking for people who seek certain things. That's what I've heard. I've met a few, but they had gone crazy because of him. Either they thought they could conquer the world, or they were just lunatics." Shikamaru said. "I've never met one that was sane."
"...Sasuke lost his memory." Neji said, frowning a little. "Could this be from one of the experiments as well?"
"Could be." Shikamaru said. "It wouldn't surprise me if that psycho messed with his brains."
"But it happened another time. Later on, when I was travelling with Neji." Sasuke said.
"Yes, he lost his memory partly." Neji said. "We had a fight and I stormed away, leaving him paralyzed, and the next thing he knew was that he had me in his arms, unconscious, because I had been strangled by someone I didn't see."
"Well could be some kind of after affect. Especially since you paralyzed him. Which sounds like a nice power by the way." Shikamaru said.
"You paralyze people?" Suigetsu asked.
Neji looked at Suigetsu for a second, before turning his attention back to Shikamaru.
"One of my powers is my ability to take over someone else's body." He then said. "But that aside, I do nothing to the brain. And he didn't fall down that hard when he couldn't move anymore. I think it was something else I can't explain."
"Well we can't find that out." Shikamaru said. "Any other questions?"
"Do you?" Neji asked Sasuke now. "I would like to know where this guy is living.. and does he have subordinates or is he experimenting on his own?"
"I don't know that." Shikamaru said, shaking his head. "And he lives somewhere in a forest I believe, but nobody I heard talk about him knows where."
"So all we know is this guy lives somewhere in a forest near Karin's old hometown." Sasuke stated.
Neji nodded.
"I guess." He then said. "It's a little more then we first knew."
"But nothing we can use." Sasuke said. "Besides, I thought you didn't want me to go there." He looked at Neji now.
"Are you two a couple?" Shikamaru asked.
Neji snorted at this.
"Trust me, we are far from." He said. He then looked at Sasuke again. "I don't want you to go there no, but if we can go with a lot perhaps it's safer." At that moment, Kiba came walking back to them and put the beer down in front of Shikamaru.
"Here you go, pineapple head." He said, and then started laughing because of his own joke.
Shikamaru just stared at Kiba bluntly and then grabbed his beer. Suigetsu in the mean time started laughing like mad.
"You're right, he does look like a pineapple!" He laughed. Shikamaru just ignored him.
"You know, it still wouldn't be smart going there. Especially if he has done some kind of experiment on you. Who knows what he could do to you." He said.
"He's still the only one who knows me. Even Karin knows nothing about me and I apparently spend time with her." Sasuke said.
"Wrong." Kiba said to Sasuke. "He's the only one of which 'you' know he knows you. There could be a lot more."
"Well chances are just as big I will find them, as that I won't. If I won't find anyone soon, I'll be forced to seek that Orochimaru guy out." Sasuke said.
"I would wait for some time man, do you really want to get into that much of a dangerous situation?" Kiba asked, frowning.
"Yes it's a dream come true." Sasuke said sarcastic. "Of course I don't, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for someone who knows me."
Kiba frowned even deeper now.
"Look, I know it's sucks that you lost your memory, but if I were you I would stress a little bit less about getting your memory back." He then said. "If this guy knows you, you must have been his victim or his subordinate. In both ways, it doesn't mean a good past or memory. He won't give you a cup of tea and chat around."
Neji pulled up one of his eyebrows. He never expected Kiba to be even smarter than Sasuke at a certain point. It was definitely impressive that Kiba understood the situation like this.
"The kid's right you know. That guy didn't want you to come so badly if they weren't planning on doing anything with you." Shikamaru said.
"Nonetheless he knows me. Besides, that Kabuto guy told me I was strong, so I'm sure nothing will happen once I go there." Sasuke said.
"Yeah you sure can rely on that now you don't know what it is." Neji sarcastically said. "And he does."
"Well I don't really care what you all think. I'll get my memory back, even if that means going to someone dangerous." Sasuke stated.
"I think you lost your brains along with your memory." Kiba said, sighing a little annoyed.
"I think you all just don't understand. Now let's drop this subject." Sasuke said, a little annoyed.
"Of course Sasuke." Kiba said. "We're all wrong and you're the only one who's right."
"Come on guys, we have a guest." Neji sternly said.
"I know that, which is why I'm telling you to shut up and drop the subject." Sasuke said a little snappy.
"It's fine Neji. You're not half as bad as my mother and father." Shikamaru said.
"Good to hear that." Neji said as he gave Sasuke a hit on the back of his head. "So do you have siblings or are you living alone with your parents?"
"I'm an only child." Shikamaru said as he grinned. Sasuke rubbed his head and then left the room annoyed. He wasn't even going to say anything about that. He would talk about it when he wasn't longing to smash Neji's head twice as hard.
"It's nice huh." Neji said, giving Shikamaru a slight smirk. "More attention."
"Yeah, you're lucky, I have an annoying sister." Kiba said, sighing.
Shikamaru let out a laugh.
"I think I would die if I had a sister. Girls are annoying. All they do is yell." He said.
"Nah, not all girls are annoying, but lots of them are." Kiba said, smirking.
"Then name one that isn't." Shikamaru said.
"I could, but you don't know them anyway." Kiba said, pulling up his eyebrows. "And my mom is ok."
"Good for you." Shikamaru said. "I prefer boys though." He grinned just slightly. Sasuke now came back in the room and sat down next to Neji, without a word. He was still mad Neji hit him.
"Oi, what's with you?" Kiba said to Sasuke, wondering why Sasuke was looking like that.
"Nothing." Sasuke said, almost hissing. He was trying to keep the mood nice. If Neji was gonna argue with him again, he would hang himself, he was sure of that.
"Just let him be, he's probably grumpy that I hit him to let him shut up." Neji said to Kiba.
"Shut up Neji." Sasuke snapped, not able to keep his anger in.
"... Maybe we should talk about something else." Shikamaru said.
"So, how did you get that hair anyway?" Kiba asked Shikamaru, giving him a cheeky grin.
"What is your obsession with my hair? It just does that when I put it in a ponytail." Shikamaru said, and grinned back at Kiba.
"It's not an obsession, I'm interested." Kiba said. "Everyone in here has weird hairstyles. My hair is spiky too, Sasuke's hair looks like a cockatoo's hair and Neji's hair... is just flat. And long."
Sasuke touched his hair a little.
"It does not look like a cockatoo's." He said.
"It does." Suigetsu said. "At least my hair is pretty." He made a wavy movement with his hair as he moved his head.
Kiba snorted.
"Yours looks like someone bit it on the bottom." He then mockingly said.
"... It's beautiful." Suigetsu said offended.
"You're all very gay, talking about hairstyles." Shikamaru stated.
"Why is talking about hair gay?" Kiba asked, furrowing an eyebrow. "Do you really think that one of us is gay?"
Shikamaru just gave Neji a look.
"I don't 'think' so, I know so." He said.
Neji gave Shikamaru an offended look in return now, which made Kiba laugh.
"Sorry Neji, you just look like you're gay." He said.
"He does, doesn't he. Especially the hair. And the way he moves." Sasuke said, smirking a little.
Neji gave Sasuke a look now.
"And now it's about offending me your mood suddenly lightened?" He asked.
"Hmm, yes." Sasuke said. "Besides we're not offending you, we're just telling you you're gay. Which you are."
"Then I'm just telling you you're an asshole. Which you are." Neji bit out, and then looked away.
"You don't have to get angry now. And I already know you think I'm asshole, you've told me plenty of times before." Sasuke said.
"Once." Neji corrected Sasuke, not looking at the guy next to him.
"Jeez, you guys act like a love couple." Kiba said, frowning. "I really feel like giving you guys some unasked advise right now."
"Like what?" Sasuke asked. "We're not a love couple, not even close. And you said it more often Neji."
"You really have to have made me angry when I start swearing." Neji said. "I called you an asshole when we had a fight."
"Well you're mad at me a lot, so you must have called me an asshole a lot. Besides, you made 'me' angry." Sasuke said.
"How, by telling you the truth or saying something you don't agree with?" Neji asked, giving Sasuke a glare. Kiba and Suigetsu meanwhile shared some looks now.
"You don't tell me truth, you tell me what you think. And you're not getting that maybe I just don't agree with it." Sasuke said, slightly annoyed now.
"Funny that most people always agree with me and you are the one who's getting into fights." Neji said.
"Maybe most people are just scared you're gonna paralyze them after you accuse them of being a murderer." Sasuke said a little snappy.
"Fuck you Sasuke, I apologized for that so many times now." Neji suddenly snapped to Sasuke. "That you keep on bringing this up is plain childish."
"You keep bringing things about me up as well." Sasuke snapped back. "You keep accusing me of shit as well. So fuck you Neji."
"Because you don't change your impossible behaviour no." Neji snapped.
"I don't have impossible behaviour, you do. With your emotionless characteristics. You're the vaguest person I can imagine." Sasuke snapped back.
Neji glared at Sasuke and did so for a minute, with Sasuke glaring back at him. Just when Kiba opened his mouth to tell a joke Neji grabbed Sasuke at the collar, pulled him close and smashed his mouth onto his.
Sasuke immediately frowned as Neji did this and his only response was to kiss back. But it was awkward. Why did Neji suddenly kiss him like that? Suigetsu in the mean time laughed and whistled.
"...Weird." Kiba commented, as he saw the two pretty boys making out like they were starving for each other.
After a while, Sasuke broke the kiss and glared at Neji.
"What was that about?" He asked. Not that he minded. But it was still weird.
"Like you don't know." Neji snapped to Sasuke. "If you acted a little more grown up I would have asked you to be with me already." With that he stood and left to the kitchen, to help Karin with cooking. Kiba immediately looked at Sasuke.
"What was that about?" He then asked.
"I don't know, 'he' kissed me." Sasuke said, as he looked at Neji leaving. Did Neji just say he would have wanted to be with him if he hadn't acted like a child, putting it in Neji's words?
"Yeah and you kissed back, mister smarty-pants." Kiba said.
Shikamaru laughed a little at Kiba's comment, and then got up to bring his beer to the kitchen.
"Well... I already had sex with him, might as well kiss him too." Sasuke said.
"You had sex with Neji? When was that?" Suigetsu asked.
"I think it was this week." Kiba said, laughing a little. "Lucky bastard. I caught them together. But seriously Sasuke, what is going on with the two of you? Neji obviously wants more of you. What do you want?"
"I don't know." Sasuke said. "I mean, how could he even want more with someone who doesn't know who he is."
"Apparently, the person you are now is attractive to him." Kiba said, shrugging. "He's not interested in who you were Sasuke. He's interested in who you are 'now'."
"Just like all of us like you for who you are now." He added.
Sasuke looked at Kiba for a while then got up.
"I'm going out for a walk. Tell Neji to come find me when dinner's done." He said and walked out of the house. He needed time to think. And especially needed time to talk to Neji. He wasn't quite sure what he would say to him though.
A few hours later, Sasuke was standing against a tree, thinking. And waiting for Neji. But he had a gut feeling Neji was not looking for him. At all. As he stood there silently for a while, he saw the person he wanted to talk to, pass by and he made a run for it. Neji didn't look like it, but he walked fast and he could be gone within a second.
"Neji, wait up." Sasuke said as he was almost near Neji. They needed to talk.
Neji gave Sasuke a slight glare as he kept walking.
"Nice guy you are, you could also just tell me where you were hiding." He then said.
"I wasn't hiding." Sasuke said. "Besides, I don't think you were actually looking for me anyway. And I didn't know where I was gonna go."
"So I should just search through the whole village for you." Neji stated. "This'd better be good."
"You would have asked me to be with you if I acted more grown up." Sasuke just stated. He knew Neji could figure out what this conversation was gonna be about.
"Yes, so?" Neji asked, as he kept walking, but not as fast as he did first.
Sasuke just walked next to him.
"What does that mean? Are you in love with me?" Sasuke bluntly asked.
"I'm close to it but I'm sure it won't get further than that." Neji replied, his stoic face still on.
"What if I tell you that I wanna try?" Sasuke asked.
"What do you even want to try?" Neji asked, frowning. "What is there to try?"
"... Well us. Something more than friendship." Sasuke said. "I like you Neji."
Neji snorted.
"Sure Sasuke." He then said, not believing a thing of it. "And didn't you hear what I said? I don't think I could ever fall in love with you. Yes, there is a lot of attraction, but there are also points that make me want to back off. And not the normal amount that you have in a relationship."
Sasuke was silent for a while, then looked away offended.
"Tch fine. So you just think I'm hot but I'm a lousy person on the inside." He said. He wasn't going to admit that it hurt Neji thought of him the way he did. It sucked.
"I do like you, but there are a lot of things I'm sure I would get crazy of." Neji said.
"So you don't even want to try? You just assume I'm going to be a pain in the ass. How very nice of you Neji." Sasuke snapped.
"I tried to hang out with you more and that proved my point." Neji said.
"When did you hang out with me more?" Sasuke asked. "The only thing we did was... well have sex one time."
"Oh sure, we just jumped into the bed and then out of it again, that was all contact we had last week." Neji sarcastically said.
"Well pretty much, because the day after that we had a fight and I haven't spoken to you after that, until just now, where you kissed me and said you want me but think I'm not good enough for you." Sasuke snapped.
"It's not about being good enough for me, but about me not being able to handle you the way you are." Neji said.
"Newsflash, you don't 'need' to handle me, I'm not your child." Sasuke snapped.
"You act like one, so I have to." Neji said.
"That's bullshit." Sasuke snapped. "Just tell me that you don't even want this to work. All you wanted was a nice fuck, wasn't it? I mean, you said you wanted to do 'that' again."
"I think that there would be more people who wanted to have sex with me, so why would I go for you then?" Neji asked.
"'Cause I am good at it. What do you want Neji?" Sasuke asked. He was angry now.
"You to start acting like a grown up, I thought that was obvious." Neji said.
"... You just want me to say I won't be going anywhere. Because getting my memory back the way I think I have to, is not good enough for you." Sasuke snapped.
"It's not about your decisions, it's the way you decide things." Neji said. "You let your desires overcome your mind, and if you can't get what you want you grow angry. Simply said, you let your emotions overtake your mind far too often, like a child would do. And I can't talk or hang out with people like that. Because of so much expression of only emotion, I'll be reacting emotional as well and get angry."
"And you solve nothing with becoming angry." He added to it.
"Maybe you don't, I think I do." Sasuke said. "You won't solve 'anything' by waiting around and acting as if the world doesn't matter to you either." He then just walked past Neji. He was done with this. Tomorrow he would leave, on his own. He didn't need Neji telling him what was wrong with him. Neji'd better take a good look in the mirror before coming to conclusions.
"Then what do you solve with anger Sasuke, people getting scared or too angry to further argue with you?" Neji snapped as he followed Sasuke.
"It's my way of thinking things over." Sasuke snapped. "It's 'my' way of solving things and if you don't like it, then fine."
"Don't act like that now, you told me that I needed to change myself as well." Neji snapped. "It's a little easy to say 'that's how I am, accept it'. I thought you didn't know anything about yourself, how do you know it's 'your' way of solving things if you claim the whole time that you don't know who you are?"
"Because I don't, it was 'your' idea to try and be someone now, so that's who the person I am 'now' solves things." Sasuke snapped back. "And I am not going to change for you, because you won't change for me either."
"Who says that?" Neji snapped. "Did you hear me saying that I'm not willing to change for you?"
"You made it perfectly clear that you don't want me, so that means you can't adjust to me either and you're not planning to. 'I' had to change." Sasuke snapped.
"Would you want a relationship with someone who yells at you when you don't agree with him, is always angry at everyone, is only thinking of himself and who you can practically tell nothing without him exploding in anger?" Neji snapped now. "It doesn't matter what I say to you, it's not good."
"All you 'ever' said to me was accusations of me being an asshole and a child and shit like that, or you were telling me you understood but that I had to live my life 'now' and I just don't agree with it!" Sasuke yelled now.
"Sure Sasuke." Neji said. "Let it be. We don't agree with each other and have a different image of each other. You know what, you just go to this Orochimaru guy and let all those annoying persons behind who probably don't fit in your own life. You're forgetting that I am looking for a place to live, and you are looking for your memory. We have different goals. So perhaps it's better to part here."
"If you had paid attention then you knew I 'am' trying to change." Sasuke hissed. "But fine, if that's what you want now, then fine. Forget I ever said I liked you. I'll never make that mistake again with anyone." He just kept walking now.
"Then how are you trying to change?" Neji asked, frowning. "You're only telling me that it's the way you are and you don't know why you should change for me."
"Yeah because you don't notice it anyway. All you're gonna do is keep on accusing me of the same stupid things." Sasuke snapped. "You don't care that I wanted to talk to you, that I wanted to stay here for you even if that means I am not going to get my memory back. I thought it might have been wise to stay and try building up a new life, but you made me realise that I was right before. I need my memory back, and if that means leaving everyone behind in the process, then so be it. Those people couldn't care less anyway."
Neji snorted as he shook his head.
"If you're trying to make me feel guilty, you're failing miserably." He then said.
"I'm not trying to do anything. I'm telling you that I am leaving, so unless you have something useful to say now, fuck off." Sasuke said. He would not argue anymore with Neji. It was useless anyway. The guy was an emotionless idiot, who happened to be attractive as well.
"I don't." Neji shortly answered. "Then I wish you good luck with finding your memory back."
Sasuke didn't answer Neji anymore and finally got back to Karin's place. He would get some stuff and leave. After he had walked inside, he slammed the door closed in Neji's face. All this guy ever did was telling him how horrible he was. Sasuke figured he was pretty stupid himself to have ever considered falling for a guy like that.
Neji stared at the closed door in front of him for some time, before closing his eyes. The only thing he could do then was turn around and leave for the inn. He had no idea why he wanted Sasuke to change into a strong, loving person. But there was one thing he did know about the whole situation. He longed for someone strong who could protect him and who he could feel safe with... and he wouldn't be able to find that in someone who was still a child.
"What do you mean you don't have a place for a loudmouth like me?" Sasuke snapped to an inn owner of a city he had just arrived in. He was tired as hell, having travelled on his own for four days without any sleep. After he had left Neji and the rest behind, he had decided he would walk for as long as possible, but right now he was exhausted. So he found a city, found an inn and got angry like he usually did because the inn owners were all just mental. And now he was refused (the fact that he didn't have enough money on him was also not doing him any good).
"Don't worry Sasuke, I have a place for you." Sasuke turned around to see who had just spoken to him, and saw a man standing there with long black hair, a kind face and black eyes. The man was giving him a loving smile and looked very familiar to Sasuke.
Sasuke stared at the man for a while, his angry face changing into one of curiosity. He knew this guy. He knew him, that was for sure, otherwise the guy didn't know his name. And Sasuke felt he knew him as well, this man gave him a very... comfortable feeling. But from where did they know each other?
"Thanks.. Who are you?" He asked.
The smile disappeared from the man's face now, and was replaced with one of worry.
"...I knew you would be in a bad state, but that you wouldn't even remember me, I didn't expect.." The man said, looking back at Sasuke. "I'm Itachi, Sasuke. I'm your older brother."