Chapter song: Borrowed Time by A Fine Frenzy
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Lying in bed, he watches his wife as she sleeps. His alarm had gone off several minutes ago, but he can't seem to tear himself away from her warm, soft body, lying naked against his. He had battled with himself when he first woke up; wondering if making love last night was the right thing to do. But, then he thought back to how they had reconnected not only on a physical level, but an emotional one as well, and that is something he can never regret.
Knowing he can't stay in bed all day like he wishes he could, he gently removes her body from against his and gets out of bed, covering her back up before heading to the shower.
After quickly showering, and getting dressed, he makes his way to the bed where his wife is still asleep. Crouching down beside her, he moves the hair away from her face and kisses her goodbye on the cheek, whispering that he loves her.
Just as he walks out of their bedroom, he thinks better of it and turns back around. Sitting down gently on the bed beside her, he speaks her name softly while rubbing the back of his hand against her cheek. He whispers her name a few more times before she slowly starts to open her eyes.
"Hey…," he says quietly, moving his hand to rest on her side.
She closes her eyes again, her mind still clouded with sleep, until she feels him rub her side with his hand. Stretching a little and turning partially on her back, she starts to open her eyes again, blinking up at him.
Smiling down at her, he softly says, "Good morning."
"Morning," she replies groggily, as she rests her hand on top of his, returning his smile.
"I gotta get to work, but I should be home sometime around six."
Nodding her head as she closes her eyes, she squeezes his hand lightly and sleepily replies, "M'kay…"
Laughing a little under his breath, he leans down and kisses her on the forehead, whispering, "Get some sleep," before standing and making his way to the bedroom door.
Just as his hand touches the doorknob, he hears her softly call his name.
Dropping his hand back to his side, he turns around and asks just as softly, "Yeah?"
"I love you."
Leaving his spot by the door, he makes his way back over to her and leans over the bed. Just before kissing her softly on the lips, he whispers, "I love you, too."
On his drive to work, he thinks about how differently his morning has gone so far, compared to the morning before. Remembering the anxiety he had felt yesterday, not knowing if his wife would even be alive when he got home, was enough to make him feel sick again at just the thought of it.
This morning he doesn't feel as worried as he had been yesterday. After reading her journal and finding out that she had talked to her therapist about it, all of the fears he had running through his mind yesterday have mostly calmed. He's not naive about depression, and he knows that she could still go back to that state she was in last week. He just hopes she'll let him help her through it if it ever were to get to that point again. Even though he's the reason she has it to begin with.
As he sits in student traffic, he starts to wonder about when she'll be ready to talk. She wasn't ready last night, which he had expected. Part of him hopes it will be soon, so they can start working on repairing their marriage. The other part of him, the part that wants to hold onto moments like they'd had last night, makes him hope it won't be anytime soon. The thought that she might never forgive him crosses his mind, sending pains throughout his chest and into his stomach. He can't stand the thought of having to live the rest of his life without her, but he knows it's a possibility, and he only has himself to blame.
By the time he makes it into his office, he's thankful for all of the work he left unfinished from the day before. It's enough to keep him distracted from his thoughts throughout the rest of the day, that time seems to fly by.
Once his last class of the day is over with, he heads straight out to his car. He's so anxious to get home, that he bypasses some of his students trying to get his attention. He knows his class is difficult, and that some of his students need the extra help, but right now he just wants to get home to his family.
When he had talked to his wife earlier during his lunch, she seemed a little shocked, but happy, that he had called. After he told her he'd be home for dinner, she seemed even happier as she mentioned that their son would also be joining them. After they ended their call, he realized that this would be the first family dinner at home that they'd had in a long time, so it's no wonder to him why his wife was so excited.
Walking into the house from their garage, the smell of his wife's famous roast fills the air, which also happens to be his favorite. As he enters into the kitchen, he sees his son and wife standing at the island putting a salad together. He greets his son first with their usual fake punches to each other's sides, and then he makes his way to his wife, kissing her on the cheek and whispering that he missed her. She returns the sentiment, leading to a soft kiss on the lips, earning an exaggerated sigh from their son.
During dinner, conversation doesn't start off awkward as it had the night before. Their son makes it easy as he talks animatedly about camping on the beach this weekend with his friends, and a few other plans he has for the summer. As he observes how happy and relaxed his wife is throughout dinner, he thinks about how much she has changed back into her old self just since yesterday. It makes him realize how much he has really missed her.
Settling into bed for the night, she lies comfortably in his arms as he rubs her back, soothing her to sleep. He remembers how he used to do this for her when she had trouble falling asleep at night. He just can't remember why he had ever stopped.
The following day starts out just like the day before; waking up to his wife in his arms, seeing the smile on her face after he wakes her up to tell her goodbye, and working through lunch to make it home for dinner on time.
Just before his last class starts, he sits in his office chair and calls his wife to see how her day is going. She seems distracted, so after the second time he has to repeat himself, he asks if she's alright. She answers him back that she's fine, but she doesn't sound right, which sets his nerves on edge.
After a moment of silence, he asks if she's sure and, after a brief hesitation from her, she explains to him that she thinks she's ready to talk tonight.
He has no idea how to respond to that. He knew this had to happen sooner rather than later, but he never thought she would be the one to initiate it. It makes him wonder why she picked tonight to talk, but he doesn't ask her. Instead, he ends up responding with a quiet 'okay' and tells her he'll be home at around 6:30. After they exchange 'I love yous', he closes his phone and throws it onto his desk.
Leaning on his elbows, and resting the front of his chin on his clasped hands, he starts to feel numb with anxiety. His mind is so overwhelmed with his thoughts that he considers canceling his class, but then decides against it and heads to the lecture hall. He's hoping the distraction of his job will help calm his nerves some before facing the inevitable when he gets home.
Watching the door shut as the last of his students leave the lecture hall, he nervously looks at the clock above the door and starts slowly to gather his things.
As he walks down the hall to his office, he is stopped by one of his students with questions about an upcoming test. This time he doesn't ignore them, and patiently answers all of the questions they have.
As he closes up his office for the night, he takes his time, even organizing some papers that are spread out on his desk and re-checking the office hours he has scheduled for the following week.
On his drive home, he contemplates taking a longer route, but then looks at the clock and sees that he doesn't have time to. He has procrastinated long enough, and being late wouldn't be a good idea.
Arriving at home, he parks the car in the garage, but doesn't make a move to go inside. He thought he would be ready to talk whenever she was, but now, he's not so sure as the realization that he could lose everything tonight hits him hard, causing his heart to clench painfully in his chest. He knows he needs to calm himself down before he walks into their house, so he tries to think of the last couple of days and how great they've been, focusing on not what he has to lose, but what he has that's worth fighting for.
Taking a deep breath, that wasn't as relaxing as he thought it would be, he grabs his things out of the car and heads inside.
A/N: Thanks goes to my pre reader, Crackylu, and to my beta, Allison Cullen