In Which Things Should Have Gotten More Attention

It had happened so quickly.

She'd seen death, before, of course. But it had always been…in self defense. People and monsters and dogs and beasts trying to harm her, or her friends. She'd learned to aim, to shoot, to flip and skid and run and slide and dodge and weave. She'd learned, even, how to enjoy a good fight, the rush of adrenaline, the thrill of battle.

But that was always what it had been. Battle. She'd never seen anyone just…die, before.

One minute, they'd been sitting on a bench together, talking. Just- talking, laughing, he'd been so shy and awkward and adorable. She hadn't had the heart to take his money. He'd been alive, not much older then herself and acting even younger because a girl was around. Blushing and sweet, sweet in a way no one was anymore, innocent, naïve, even.

And he'd tried to protect her. This overweight, goofy little boy had tried to be her hero. Her knight.

And then he'd just…dropped. The goblin hadn't even hit back. He'd just gone down with a low noise of shock and time had, for a moment, stood still.

Then she'd heard Zephyr's voice, from what felt like a thousand miles away, calling his name- and Vashyron, too, alarmed, concerned. Both of them calling for her, too.

He'd been dead before he'd hit the ground.

"No pain," Vashryon had drawled, later. "Leanne, he was dead before he knew it."

That didn't help.

She stood now on the roof of Sweet Home, listening to Vashyron and Zephyr below her. They were in some kind of good-natured argument down there, the two of them, yelling and thumping. As if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had happened.

In a way, it made sense. None of them had really known Pater, after all; not well. And death was something they were even more familiar with then she was- personal death. They weren't touched by this, weren't hurt by it like she was.

So it was to her surprise that she heart footsteps ascending the stairs, and after a moment, Zephyr, speaking quietly at her back.

"Hey. Food's here."

"I'm not really hungry." She whispered, leaning on the railing, putting her chin on her arms. "I'll come down later."

There was a pause.

"Leanne…" And he was by her side, leaning back against the rail. He propped his elbows there, tipped his head back gently.

"I'm alright." She forced a smile. "Really. I'm just a little- shaken up, I guess."

He was looking down, at his feet, and when he spoke again his voice was distant. "You made him happy, you know? He thought you- and he thought he was a hero." A little shrug. "He was probably dead before he could realize he wasn't."

"He was." She was speaking before she really gave herself permission to. "Maybe he didn't know how to sling a gun around or flip through the air like some kind of bird, but he was."

"Okay, okay." A placating movement with his hands. "I didn't mean it like that."

"And everyone stop telling me how he didn't feel anything or didn't even know it happened. He's dead, for no good reason, trying to protect me. He's just-dead!" Her voice rose, to her alarm, and his head shot up, eyes wide on her face.

"I- uh-oh, hell, Leanne, I'm not-" He rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly, pressing his eyes closed hard. "Look, I get it, okay? What happened was sad, I guess-"

"You guess?" She reached out and slapped him upside the skull, hard enough to knock him forward. "You think so? Zephyr!"

"Whoa, whoa, alright, that's enough." The third, low, mild voice came from the base of the stairs. A moment later, Vashyron appeared. "Bell's rung, round's over. Do I need to send you two to your corners? Hey. Leanne." His voice softened, roughened, and she realize she'd been crying without meaning to. She wiped at her eyes furiously and turned away again.

"Both of you leave me alone."

Zephyr, rubbing the back of his head and wincing, looked like he would really have liked to take her up on that offer. She was really trying not to cry, she was, but she couldn't stop and he looked scared half to death. It was Vashyron who came up from behind, took her in powerful arms and pulled her against his chest. She startled, at first, but his embrace was nothing but brotherly and warm and firm, holding her tightly and just- letting her feel him breathe. They stood quietly for a long time, except for the sound of Leanne's sniffles.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, after a minute. It wasn't their fault they were more used to death then she was. More hardened then she was.

"Don't be. I expected this." He ruffled her hair, fondly. "I expected this a hell of a lot sooner, actually. And not over Pater." Before she could get angry again, he went on. "But I understand. And so does Zephyr, he's just a little bit of an idiot sometimes."

"Hey!"

"You are." She sniffled again. "I feel so stupid."

"Don't." Vashyron leaned on the rail, beside her. "There's a big difference between fighting for your own life and something like what happened to Pater. Makes it real. It's death that touches you, instead of just- death." He waved a hand, vaguely. "It's heavy. Even if it wasn't your fault." Something dark and rare flashed over his face. "Feels like it was."

She leaned next to him, and Zephyr, after a moment, leaned on her other side. His head was down, eyes half-closed, and her mind flashed back to the Bad Day, and she felt bad for having hit him. She reached out, touching the back of his skull. He jumped.

"What-"

"I take it back." Her lips trembled when she tried to smile. He blinked at the childish action, surprised, then nodded a little.

"Whatever. It's fine." He let out a soft sigh. "Oh. Hey. Wait a second, I'll be right back." He pushed off the railing, leaping down into the main room. She turned to watch him go, head tilted curiously. Vashyron half-turned, and there was a little, mysterious smile on his face.

"What did he go to get?"

"You'll see."

He returned just a few minutes later, holding a box of tissues in one hand and a couple, small pieces of peppermint candy in the other. Her favorite.

She couldn't help but laugh, wetly- yeah, Zephyr could be a lunk head, but he had a good heart. And sometimes, he did things just right. His smile was timid and unsure, a rare gift by itself- he didn't often smile like that, sweet and sincere.

He grinned, he laughed, he bore his teeth in a macabre thing that was more snarl then amusement in a fight, he would smirk and half-smile, all of those things all the time. But this little, shy, gentle thing that lit up his eyes and softened his face…no. "Here."

She took the candy from him, let him tip it in her palm. His calloused hand was so gentle on her own- he was always so careful, like he was constantly afraid to hurt her. She took the tissues, too, and underneath there was something else. Frowning, she slid it out.

It was a picture. Snapped of herself and Pater, sitting on their bench. Any other time, she would have raged, wheeling around to Vashryon about invasion of privacy and being nosey and over-protective and rude, but now all she could do was stare.

The sun was setting before them, casting long shadows and turning the sky into a brilliant decoration of colors. The wind had taken her hair for a moment, pushing it back as she giggled at something, eyes crinkled at the corners with real delight and hand over her mouth. That stupid bee headband that Zephyr had forced her to wear- a bet gone horribly, horribly in his favor- had slipped a little. She remembered she'd had to push it back up. It clashed hideously with her simple black and white outfit, but Pater hadn't cared. He's said she looked very nice, and he'd meant it.

She'd blushed.

He was smiling, too, watching her laugh; his goofy, honest, little boy's smile. He seemed so thrilled that he'd made her giggle, eyes shining, sitting stiff and awkward but leaning eagerly towards her. He looked- he did look- honestly happy, she realized. Happy that she was there, that she was laughing, that he'd made her laugh. They both looked happy and content and at peace with the entire world, in that one moment, that one instant, preserved. She tightened her grip on it, feeling the tears start again.

"That wasn't supposed to make you cry again-" Zephyr sounded almost panicked, but his words cut off when she put her arms around his neck and hugged, tightly. It was like hugging a piece of steel pipe. He was stiff and awkward, and she could feel his heart racing. Then his arm slowly lifted, wrapping around her back and holding her gently.

"See? Told you." He whispered, lowering his forehead to the top of her hair. "I bet he was as happy right then as he'd ever been in his entire life. Even when we brought him his 'star'."

"You did right by him, Leanne." Vashyron, to her surprise. She unattached from Zephyr and spun to hug him, too. It was a totally different experience; his heart and breath didn't speed up, but he didn't tense awkwardly, either. He folded around her in a return embrace easily and naturally, giving her a warm squeeze.

"It's alright." He murmured, gently. "Or it will be. Don't let it get to you, Leanne. It'll eat you from the inside out."

She nodded into his chest, pulling away after a minute. "You said something about-dinner?"

He smiled at her, the smile he reserved just for her and Zephyr. She'd never seen him offer it to anyone else.

"Yeah. C'mon."