Author's Note: Okay, well, here's a oneshot that I decided to write. it's purely humor and random. Oh, and it's also my first oneshot so...

Oh, and readers of SUMMER VACATION, I am sooooooo sorry i couldn't update it. I typed it in my itouch and accidentally deleted it and I have no time to retype it yet with all the assignments and tests. i have like, 5 tests a day, can you believe it? I get home from school at around 6 and I study till ten. o.o also, I did this about...a week or two ago so readers, consider this a bonus oneshot. again I'm sooo sorry!

Oh, and guys, please forgive my errors, I did this in my itouch nights ago. Just tell me I'll edit it. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But the plot is MINEEEEEE! 3

R&R!~~~XD

THE NAIL POLISH CRISIS

It was late afternoon. Itachi was sitting below the oak tree, painting his toenails, when Orochimaru approached him from behind.

"Itachi...," he said in a warning voice.

"Oro." Itachi replied in an irritated tone.

"Don't speak to me in that tone." Orochimaru glared at him.

Itachi raised a brow, his back still turned to him, "You're not the boss of me."

"Yes I am." Orochimaru hissed, then added, "What are you doing anyway?"

"See for yourself, you aren't blind, right?"

Orochimaru's eyes flashed then he stooped down and snatched the bottle of nail polish from beside Itachi.

At that, Itachi turned stood up, standing on one foot, as the nail polish on his right toes hadn't dried up yet.

Orochimaru looked closely at the bottle, then turned his head to Itachi, and then back to the bottle again.

"This is mine." Orochimaru said, pocketing the bottle.

"Oh, hell no." Itachi said, glaring at Orochimaru's pocket. "I bought that myself for five hundred yen. You will not steal my nail polish."

Orochimaru laughed darkly, "So it's yours, you say? Then why couldn't I find my own identical bottle on my nightstand, hm?"

Itachi shrugged, "Who knows? You must have misplaced it."

"You very well know that I don't misplace things."

"Whatever." Itachi said, glaring at Orochimaru's pocket once more, before turning around and went back in the Akatsuki headquarters.

Meanwhile, Orochimaru waited until he couldn't see Itachi's retreating back anymore, before sitting down at the spot Itachi had emptied and started painting his toenails.

Itachi walked in the receiving room with his head lowered, still sulking.

"Oi! Itachi. What's up? Un."

Deidara asked from his sprawled position on the couch. He turned his head when he heard the Uchiha's approaching footsteps.

Itachi merely shook his head. "It's nothing." then he retreated to his room.

Deidara looked at Sasori and Tobi and shrugged, "What the hell?"

Itachi opened his closet to find his fifty bottles of nail polish gone.

"Fuck." he cursed under his breath, "That gay pedophile accuses me, the mighty Uchiha, of stealing his nail polish, when he himself steals mine?"

Itachi stomped his foot then started pacing around the room, muttering strings of colorful words under his breath.

"I will kill him. KILL. KILL. Bwahahahahahaha!" Itachi laughed.

He sat down on his bed and retrieved the phone, dialing the number of the nail polish shop.

"Hello? Candy Nails. How may I help you?" A female voice said sweetly.

"I want two boxes of purple nail polish delivered to me before midnight." He growled.

"May I know your name and mailing address."

"Uchiha Itachi." He stated, then said, "Meet me in the forest two blocks from your office when they're ready, call this number, I'll take it from there."
The woman shook upon hearing the customer's name, "Yes. Of course, Uchiha-sama."

Itachi slammed the phone down, feeling contented, "Ha! In your face, Oro. This time, you won't be able to get it! I'll be keeping it safely hidden. HOHOHO!"

Having said that, he laid down on the bed and dozed off.

Five hours later, Itachi awoke to the sound of his ringing phone, he picked it up.

"Hello?" He said lazily.

"Uchiha-sama," the voice said nervously. "Your order is ready."

Itachi shot up immediately. "I'll be there right away."

Itachi ended the call and looked at the clock on the wall, 9:00, it read.

He put on his cloak and shoes and hopped out the window.

He jumped on the trees and flew through the branches, the only thing in his mind was, 'NAIL POLISH! Yes! I get to paint my toenails properly! And Oro won't EVER get it! HOHOHOHO!'

He arrived the designated meeting spot five minutes later. Two girls were standing there, each holding a box. Itachi took the boxes from their hands and slapped a wad of cash to the first girl. "That should be enough." then he turned and went back to the headquarters.

Itachi set the boxes down on the floor and proceeded to stocking the contents under his undergarments, caressing each one before placing it there. After the hundredth bottle, he changed to his pajamas and slept comfortably, knowing that no one will be able to get it.

Itachi woke up next day finding all his undergarments scattered on the floor. He immediately ran to his drawer to find not a single bottle of nail polish remained.
He quickly went to the training grounds below, not even bothering to change, knowing that Orochimaru will be there.

He ran to Orochimaru and screamed. "Why the fuck did you steal my nail polish? Again!"

Orochimaru stood up, rage burning in him. "I stole it? I? How dare you accuse me of that? In the first place, how DARE you disrupt my melancholy, and accuse me of stealing your nail polish, where as YOU stole MINE."

Itachi's sharingan flashed. He bitchslapped Orochimaru. Orochimaru caught his wrist, and stared Itachi, wide eyed. He dragged him to the cage of Manda underground. "I am feeding you to Manda!" Orochimaru hissed.

He threw open the door and they went in, Orochimaru unlocked its cage.

CRACK

Both Itachi and Orochimaru turned to the sound of the crack, they approached cautiously.

CRACK.

There it was again.

MUNCH. MUNCH.

Orochimaru ran to his snake.

"Manda? Anything wrong?"

Itachi walked backwards, and accidentally hit a switch. The light turned on.

CRACK

Itachi and Orochimaru looked at Manda...to find hundreds of bottles of nail polish lying on the floor. They ran inside the cage, picking up as much bottles as they can hold in their arms.

Manda bit Itachi's pants, causing him to lose hold of the bottles which resulted to him pounding on the snake's head.
Orochimaru saw the scene and laughed evilly, "Go Manda, go. More nail polish for moi!" He sang.

Hundreds of miles away, at the training grounds in Konoha, Sasuke stopped climbing the tree midway and deadpanned, "My Uchiha senses tell me that Itachi is doing something stupid right now."

Author's note: WELL? HOW WAS IT? Tell me! REVIEW! Please...I heart themmmm :3

Oh, another thing, I might have another oneshot posted in...a month? maybe less. It depends on the number of reviews this one gets. Oh and, I do accept flames, just...lessen the flame :))))