Sorry it's taken me longer than I thought it would to finish this. Didn't think this chapter would hit me so hard. Next chapter should be the last.

Warning: this chapter contains material that may be delicate and upsetting to some readers. I had a hard time writing it to be honest. If you're wondering, this is where the whole Saw/Twilight stuff starts to come into play.

Song of the Day: Robert Downey Jr - River

P.S. I know sod all about hospitals, so for the sake of creative licence, just go with me.

Fifty-nine.

Tony had spent the last two hours double and triple checking this number and still, annoyingly, reaching the same total.

Why the hell would someone go to all the trouble to paint such a large number of dots onto a ceiling tile and then not bother to round up to an even number? It was stupid. He had a good mind to go to the Chief of Medicine and demand to speak to whoever had designed the fucking hospital.

He could have understood if it had just been the one God-damn tile, but it was the same on each one, so the mysterious dotter must have known he was going annoy this shit out of someone with this. Like you need that kind of stress in a hospital.

Yeah, he was definitely going to complain.

The man beside him sighed for the billionth time in five minutes and Tony rotated his head awkwardly to look at him, although instantly regretting it as his neck protested to being moved after two hours of being at a forty-five degree angle on the backrest of his chair.

"I wish you'd stop doing that." He mumbled and he popped his neck loudly. Rhodey winced.

"Pardon me for worrying." He sighed again.

"Join the fucking club, we've got jackets." Tony stood up abruptly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Shouldn't she be out by now?" he asked, more to himself than his companion.

Rhodey shrugged, not that Tony saw this. "It's gonna take as long as it take man." He chewed his bottom lip, afraid of Tony's reaction to his next question.

"Just ask me." Tony said. Rhodey still seemed hesitant so Tony supplied the answer. "He's got pretty fucked up insides, several broken bones and he's in surgery. He's going to be fine though." He rubbed his face with both hands and then ran them through his hair.

"Like I care if he lives or not after this." Rhodey spat. "Look what he's done to you, to Pepper-"

His rant was cut short by Tony laughing. He turned to Rhodes who simply stared at him like a madman.

"You think I blame Banner for this?" he asked, as if this was the most stupid of all conclusions.

Rhodey gaped. "If you don't I can point you in the direction of the psychiatric ward." He said. Tony just chuckled again. "What the fuck is so funny?"

"None of this is Banner's fault, this is all on me." He muttered, his expression morbid. He saw Rhodey mouth 'what the fuck' and shook his head to stop him talking audibly. "Banner came to me for help, and I helped. What Banner turned into was part of my creation as much as his."

"Oh that's a fucking tenuous link if ever I saw one." Rhodey was on his feet now. "He should have known what he was doing to himself instead of steamrolling in like you said. None of this is on you-"

"It's all on me!" Tony yelled. "If I'd listened to Jarvis, none of this would have happened. I didn't need to blast him, I could have suppressed him another way. I..." he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, breathing heavily. "I took major damage to the suit and Jarvis said the chest RT wasn't functioning properly but I used it anyway, and now look what's happened." He gestured limply towards the doors Pepper had been wheeled through. "Fuck." He sunk to the floor and crossed his arms over his knees, burying his head in the space there.

"Tony..." Rhodey ransacked his brain for something to say to comfort Tony, but came up dry. He settled for sitting on the bench nearest to where Tony had crumpled and laid a hand on his now trembling shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done." He finally managed to croak out.

Tony jerked away from Rhodey and stumbled to his feet, heading to the doors on the opposite side of the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Rhodes called after him, but Tony didn't answer, instead throwing the doors open and storming through them. He couldn't handle the level of sympathy and pity in Rhodey's voice, especially when he didn't deserve it.

He stalked down the hallways trying to clear his head, but all he could see behind the thick wall of fog was the look of fear on Pepper's face when she had seen the blood. He would have flown her to hospital, but Jarvis had all but begged him to call an ambulance, rambling a mile a minute about the hazards of flying with the amount of damage he had incurred to the suit. Betty and Banner had ridden in the second ambulance, and Tony had glimpsed one of the medics performing chest compressions on Banner as they sped away.

Another stab of guilt hit Tony's heart and he stopped walking, finding himself in a small cafeteria, empty but for the staff behind the counter and a couple of doctors on their break in the corner. A sudden urge for caffeine drilled away at the back of Tony's brain, moving him towards the counter ahead of him.

He ordered a black coffee, thinking his stomach probably wouldn't appreciate the sickly sweetener added to it, and reached into his pocket for his wallet.

Which he had left (somewhere) at the house.

"Fantastic." He muttered, fumbling around the bottom of his other pockets searching for any shrapnel he might have shoved in them. "I'm a fucking billionaire and I don't have any fucking currency."

"I got it." A man with a ponytail and a beard to rival a pirate's queuing beside him spoke and handed the rather annoyed (read 'scary') looking woman behind the counter enough for Tony's and his own beverages.

Tony blinked at the man. "Uh, thank you." He said softly.

"Don't mention it." The man smirked at Tony and offered his hand to shake, which Tony took. "Joseph Allen, about to become a Dada for the third time, just chalk this up to celebrating." He took a sip of his own coffee and squinted at Tony. "You've got that look." He said.

"What look?" Tony asked, baffled.

"That shit scared look of someone who's about to become a father." Joseph chuckled. "I take it this is your first?" at Tony's nod, a sympathetic look descended over Joseph's face and he steered Tony towards a table. "How long's the missus been in labour?" he enquired.

"I, uh, I don't know if she is." Tony confessed. At Joseph's politely confused look, Tony ploughed on. "She's only at seven and a half months."

"Shit." Joseph breathed and took another swig of coffee. Tony picked at the polystyrene cup in front of him and took a shuddering breath.

"A friend and I got into a fight at home and she took a hit to the stomach." Tony took a swig of his coffee, not caring that it scalded his tongue and throat on the way down. "There was a lot of blood..." he trailed off and stared at a fixed point on the table, determined not to crumble in front of a complete stranger.

He heard Joseph sigh and saw him reach into his coat out of the corner of his eye and pull out his wallet. After a few seconds of fumbling, Joseph flipped over a plastic cover and a couple of photos, all joined at the seams, flipped out of the wallet. He located a specific photo and shuffled his chair closer to Tony, brandishing the photo at him. Tony gazed at the aged picture and after a few seconds realised it was of an incredibly small, skinny baby inside a rectangular incubator.

"That's Jenny." He said softly, smiling at Tony. "She was born at six and a half months. We'd gotten into a car accident and they had to deliver in the ambulance. The doctors condemned her to death straight away, said her lungs simply weren't strong enough to let her survive, let alone the potential damage the crash could have done. They gave her three weeks, tops." He flipped his wallet closed and pulled out his cell phone and after a few button presses, showed Tony a picture of a tall, blonde haired, blue eyed bombshell hanging off of Joseph's own arm, laughing at something. "That's her last week, celebrating her twenty-first birthday." The grin on his face expanded. "Only health issues she came away with was a mild case of asthma which she's pretty much grown out of." He turned the phone back to himself and after one last look he tucked it away again.

"Must have been hell for you, those first three weeks." Tony said sympathetically. Joseph nodded and drained the rest of his coffee.

"Jenny found a quote in a book when she was little and it pretty much sums her up. It goes; 'start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you're doing the impossible'." he said to Tony, looking him straight in the eye. "It'll be tough, no doubt about that, and there will come a point where you'll both want to give in," he stood up, crumpled up his cup and threw it in the trash can a few feet in front of him, then turned back to Tony and held out his hand again. "but when you reach the end of your rope, you just gotta tie a knot in it and hold on."

Tony shook his hand and managed a small smile. "Thank you. For the coffee, for the talk..."

"Like I said before, don't mention it." Joseph beamed and then checked his watch. "Crap, I told the missus I'd only be gone ten minutes, she'll be screaming blue murder by now. You'll probably hear her yourself when you go back up." He chuckled and slapped Tony's shoulder before turning and starting for the door. When he reached it, he turned back.

"Just remember, you only need to take the first step in faith, not the whole staircase." And with that, he darted back up to the maternity ward.

Tony slumped back against his chair, swilling the remnants of his now luke-warm coffee around the cup, trying to concentrate on the warm, albeit tiny glimmer of hope that had settled in his stomach, trying to keep it there. All too soon, however, it extinguished, and in its place the fear returned. He threw away what was left of his drink, suddenly feeling extremely queasy and filled with a need to see Pepper. He made his way out of the cafeteria and turned back towards the waiting room he had left Rhodey in, only to see the man himself at the end of the hall, clearly trying to locate Tony.

The hairs on the back of Tony's neck stood on end and he ran towards Rhodey, who turned towards him at the sound of his footsteps.

"Rhodey, what-"

"Pepper's out of surgery, I'll take you to her room." He said quickly. Tony tried to read the expression on his face but got nothing.

"Is she ok?" Tony asked, not moving from the spot he had stopped on.

"The doctor wouldn't tell me anything but what room she's in. I've been trying to find you for the past half hour." He turned back the way he had come and began walking, Tony instantly stepping with him. He hadn't realised how far he had walked, or how long he had been gone (which he had realised was well in excess of an hour after checking his watch), and now noticed he was at the opposite side of the hospital. How he had gotten there without realising was a mystery, one he didn't really care to solve, especially now the feeling of nausea increased the closer they got.

Rhodey was tense, Tony could feel it, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know why. When they finally reached the maternity ward, Tony heard the distant yells of a woman in labour and wondered if it was Joseph's wife, before Rhodey nudged him and indicated to the woman behind the desk they had stopped at.

To the hospital's credit, they performed all the necessary security checks to make sure they weren't letting a complete maniac into Pepper's room, though Tony had to be restrained by Rhodey to stop him from simply leaning over the desk and snatching the room list from the nurse. Finally, after also checking Rhodey's ID, she paged the surgeon, Dr. Bentley.

"How's Pepper?" Tony said as soon as the surgeon was through the door.

"Mr. Stark, should we perhaps take this somewhere more private?" the doctor said softly, and guided them into an empty room to the right.

"Well?" Tony asked, growing more and more impatient. Rhodey placed a hand on Tony's shoulder to calm him down and the doctor sighed.

"Initially, Miss Potts was brought into surgery to stabilise and hopefully prevent her early labour." Doctor Bentley began. "Unfortunately, as surgery progressed, the pregnancy became dangerous to both mother and child and we had to perform an emergency caesarean."

Tony's throat tightened. "But they're ok right? I mean, babies have been born earlier than this and they're ok."

Doctor Bentley sighed and gave Tony an apologetic look. "Mr. Stark, I'm afraid the baby didn't make it."

They stopped outside the door to Pepper's room and stared at it. Minutes passed and neither men moved.

"Tony?" Rhodey said softly. He saw Tony's Adam's apple bob and he let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding. "The doctor said she should be awake now man." He saw Tony nod and he gave him a gentle nudge. "I'm so sorry."

Tony raised a hand to stop Rhodey and closed his eyes briefly. "Do me a favour? Go and find out what we're supposed to do...after."

"Sure man, anything." He felt Rhodey's hand leave his shoulder and heard his footsteps fade away. Still he couldn't make himself go through the door in front of him.

The hallway was empty of both people and sounds. Joseph's wife had clearly had her child, hence the lack of screaming. He wondered if Jenny would now have a baby brother or sister, and then felt the burn behind his eyes when he realised he hadn't even enquired as to the gender of his own baby.

Taking a deep breath, he broke the spell rooting him to the floor and cracked the door open slowly.

The room was dark, but he could make out the lump under the duvet that was Pepper, curled up into a ball and facing away from the door. He would have thought she was asleep had it not been for the small gasping noises and the jerking movements she kept making. Tony entered the room properly and softly approached the bed, toeing off his shoes as he went. Pepper didn't turn around, so he lifted the duvet and climbed into bed behind her. She melted into him straight away and he buried his head in her hair, pulling her tight against him. He felt her sobbing increase silently and his own tears began to leak out of his eyes. He heard her whisper "I'm sorry" and he realised something.

Science may be holding his heart together, but it could still break.

TBC

Yeah, I'd done the first page and a half and started finishing the rest at half eight this evening. It's now 12:24am. I would have had this up by Friday but it's taken me til now to work up the courage to finish it.