I'd like to thank everyone who has kept reading this thing, and more so to those who reviewed and kept me updating. I will be doing a sequel, but I've got at least one other project, maybe two, that I want to do before hand. The sequel to this will be posted when I've finished it.

Also, the dates at the beginning of this are December 15th 2009 in case anyone is wondering how I added three extra months to the calendar. Tis the other way round in America apparently, just thought I'd keep it in context.

One last thing, I've noticed that throughout the fic, I seem to have gravitated more into Tony's perspective than Pepper's. As such, I've tried to make this more from Pepper's POV, because we need to start seeing Tony, rather than seeing from him, if that makes sense.

Song of the Day: Seether – Eyes Of The Devil

Edit: I added/changed a bit of this for two reasons. 1). I fudged up the dates of Pepper coming out of hospital and 2). I found a letter that I'd written from Tony to Pepper when I first started this fic which I thought I'd lost. It sucks way less than the teeny tiny one I'd written in replacement. My bad.

Jacob Zachary Stark

12.15.2009 – 12.15.2009

Taken before we could know him,

But forever in our hearts

Pepper reached out a hand and ran her index finger across the italic golden lettering engraved upon the small, black marble gravestone. The sun, in total opposition to the collective mood of the few people below, beamed down upon it, bouncing its warmth back into Pepper's somehow numb hand. She glanced at the flowers below the stone, and then to the two larger graves to her left.

Three members of the same family, all taken way before their time, leaving behind holes the size of Mercury for the loved ones they left.

She rose to her feet, taking one last look at her son's final resting place, and began the slow, morose walk back towards the waiting car.

Holes was a good way to describe this feeling, she thought, as a new one began it's torturous ripping in the depths of her stomach at the sight of Tony, leaning against the limo, hands shoved in his pockets and his head bowed.

He had only one hole, but it had completely engulfed him. He had barely looked at her since she had returned from the hospital four days before, and merely mumbled unintelligible words to their broken conversation before the funeral. Although he had kept his arm around her and pulled her tight against him during the ceremony, he wasn't really there, and she couldn't really blame him for it.

Tony's wasn't so much a hole as a chasm, and it seemed nothing she could do could suture the edges back together over the expanse of pure grief between them.

She tried a small smile of understanding as he raised his head towards her, but his eyes merely flickered over her before dropping again. He turned quickly to open the door of the limo for her and stared at the top of the door as she stepped in.

She felt a whole new sadness when he didn't sit beside her, but instead on the seat opposite, once again not meeting her eyes, his gaze focused instead on the tips of his fingers clasped together on his knees.

They rode in silence the entire way home. Rhodey had gone home some time before, having been the only other person invited to Jacob's funeral, after offering them both his teary condolences. The private family plot was only fifteen minutes from the house so luckily Pepper didn't need to suffer through the thick tension for too long.

Tony was already popping the door open when the car rolled to a slow stop in front of the house and was halfway towards the front door by the time Pepper stepped out. Happy joined her outside the car and closed the door behind her.

"He's taken this really hard." She said softly, staring at his quickly retreating back. Happy sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently nudging her forwards.

"You've both taken this hard, it's to be expected." He stopped when they got to the door and turned her round to face him. "You've got both me and Rhodey here for you, for both of you, and it'll take a while but you'll pull through this." He offered her a sympathetic smile, but Pepper shook her head.

"He's barely looked or spoken to me for a week, Happy. He's spent the last three days in the workshop and doesn't come to bed until I'm asleep." She said, holding back a sniff. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't even make it that far last night, he was up when I woke up, I just assumed he'd woken up before me."

"Just talk to him Pepper." Happy sighed. "You're both in the same place."

Pepper nodded and gave him a quick hug before stepping into the house.

The quiet, empty house.

Tony had quite obviously gone straight down to the workshop after ridding himself of his jacket and tie, the offending items thrown on the couch in a heap. Pepper picked them up and made her way to their bedroom, hoping that Tony might have come back upstairs by the time she had changed. She even gave him a little more time by having a shower. When, half an hour later, she emerged from the bedroom and Jarvis reported that Tony was still working, something inside her snapped.

She stomped down the stairs, barefoot and dressed only in her bathrobe, angrily punched in her key code and heaved the door open.

And then her anger, or her frustration, or whatever the hell it was she was feeling vanished as if someone had flicked a switch. Tony was leaning back on his desk, drink in hand, gazing at what looked to be a half finished crib. There was a small plastic bag with a couple of bolts in and a thin instruction book lying on the floor in front of it. Anything Pepper had been about to say died in her throat.

"What's my day like tomorrow?" Tony asked, jolting Pepper's brain.

"Um, you don't have any appointments until next week." She said softly. "I rescheduled everything so we could have time to…recover."

Tony was silent for a moment, and then he drained the rest of his drink, settling it with a clink onto the desk behind him and circling it to sit at his computer. "Cancel the cancellations, I should get back to work." He caught her eyes briefly and then started doing whatever the hell it was he was doing on his computer.

"No." Pepper said. Tony stopped tapping but didn't look up.

"What?"

"You heard me." Pepper said, lifting her chin and staring him down.

"Pepper, I need to work, to get back into the swing of things." He sighed and began typing again.

"No, what you need to do is rest, to heal." She growled, her anger creeping back up again.

"I'm not the one who had surgery." He muttered.

Pepper scowled. "I'm not the one behaving like everything's completely normal."

"I need to work, Pepper." Something beeped behind him and he stood up.

"God damn it Tony!" Pepper raised her voice. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even realise what you're doing?"

"Contrary to popular belief I know exactly what I'm doing." He snapped. "I'm trying to work through this the best way I know fucking how." He turned away from her and went to check on one of the machines.

"By pushing me away?" she saw Tony stiffen and she felt tears stinging her eyes. "Tony, this is completely different to when your parents died. I'm sorry I couldn't protect our son-"

"Don't you dare." He span around, a furious look in his eyes. "Don't you fucking dare blame yourself for this, this is not your fault."

"Then why won't you look at me?" Pepper yelled.

"How can I?" he threw back, his own tears streaming down his cheeks. "How the hell can I have done what I did and then face you like its not my fault?"

Pepper stared at him. "Tony, this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is!" he walked up to her. "I'm responsible for the death of our son and you keep looking at me like that, like you still love me."

"Of course I love you." She gasped, reaching out to softly stroke his face.

"See, that's the thing." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't think I can live looking at you everyday and wanting you to hate me." He opened his eyes and buried his face in the crook of her neck, completely melting into her. "I can't stand it, Pepper, I won't be able to make it."

Pepper felt his jagged breath on her neck and wrapped her arms around his neck to try and soothe him. "Tony, it's ok, we'll get through it, calm down." She pulled his head back and kissed his mouth tenderly. "I love you, it'll be ok." She kissed him again and he responded slowly. She tugged him backwards towards the couch and tried to make him forget.

Tony cracked open the heavy hospital door and peered inside. Bruce was sitting up in bed but his eyes were still closed. The empty food tray on the trolley beside him indicated that he'd not long since eaten, which meant he was more likely to be dozing than properly asleep. Tony stepped into the room and closed the door. The click of the catch roused Banner from his doze and he blinked, not quite sure what he was seeing.

"You ok buddy?" Tony asked softly, walking over to the chair beside the bed and sitting in it. Banner stared. "Bruce?"

"Tony? What…" he rubbed his eyes and stared again. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." Tony said. The genuine tone of his voice only confused Banner further.

"Why?" he gave Tony an incredulous look.

"Because I feel responsible."

Banner felt sick. He leant back on his pillows and closed his eyes. "Betty told me what happened." He whispered. Tony remained silent. "I'm-"

"If you say 'I'm sorry' I'll kill you." Tony snapped. Banner's eyes flew open and Tony continued before he could interrupt. "I am just as much to blame here as you think you are, so don't give me that bullshit, just listen to me." He leant forward and gripped Bruce's forearm. "I want you to come to SHIELD."

"Stark, I don't think-"

"I said listen." Tony said sternly. "I said I'm as much to blame here, so here's me putting things right. There will come a day, Banner, when I won't be there to stop you, when no one will be able to stop you. Do you understand?" Banner nodded. "I don't want anyone else to die because of us. SHIELD have the best doctors and scientists around. Even if they can't make a cure, they can sure as hell stabilize you."

Tony stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "If for no one else, do this for Betty." He walked towards the door. He stopped once it was open and turned back. "I'm going away. I don't know how long for, but I'll be assisting SHIELD with a new project they're running. I'll see you there." His tone of voice didn't seem to give Banner a choice in the matter, and then he was gone, closing the door softly behind him.

Pepper,

This is the worst way I know of to do this, but I feel like if I did it face to face, I wouldn't be able to go through with it, and despite what I know you think, I have to do this.

Since the accident, I feel like I've completely lost my mind. I'm in so much pain I can't even think straight. I have nightmares pretty much every night since you came out of the hospital, it's killing me inside, it feels as if the shrapnel in my chest simultaneously shot into my heart, and you've been so comforting and supportive. You're there to hold me and talk me down, and that's what scares me the most.

Like I told you last night, you should hate me for what I did to us, to you. You should have left me. You should want me dead. But you still love me, and that's the thing I can't understand. What I did was unforgivable. I tried to protect you and I ended up doing the complete reverse. Every time I look at you, all I see is unconditional love, and it's wrong. I need you to hate me. I need you to shun my touch, but you won't do it.

I'm sorry to put this burden on you, but I'm making you the new C.E.O. effective immediately, I need someone I know I can trust to carry my work on. I'll be keeping in touch with the company every now and then through Jarvis. I've also left you the mansion, it was your home before all this and it always will be.

I'm going away. I don't know where to or for how long, but hopefully long enough to let you go, and for you to let me go too. I know in my heart that it's best for us. There will never be anyone else for me, Pepper, but I can't carry on seeing your face every day and wanting you to hate me. I can't stand it.

I love you. I always will.

Tony.

What little was left of Pepper's heart broke away from her soul and splintered. The oxygen around her felt too thick to breathe, the leather couch she lay upon felt like granite on her skin. Her entire world had fallen apart, and nothing would ever feel right again.

End.

Regarding the whole Twilight/Saw thing for those who are still baffled: basically, in Saw III or IV (I forget which one, it's been a while since I've seen it) the Jigsaw's wife miscarries a baby because she gets hit in the stomach with a door, and thus spawns the marvellous vigilante justice of the entire series of films, and in New Moon (second book/film of the Twilight Saga) Edward tries to save Bella from his family (she cut herself and they all went ape shit over a tiny speck of blood) by pushing her back, and basically injures her even more, and then goes all angsty and depressed thinking he'll hurt her again. Yes, my brain took these two plots, smashed them together and created the last thirteen chapters.

Once again, thank you so much for reading, and watch this space for the sequel.