Chapter 6: You don't exist

Capitulo VI : No existes

Hermione was able to leave the Hospital Wing the morning after the incident, one day before their Christmas vacation. On her way to the Gryffindor Common Room, she was still thinking of what had happened and the fact that Draco Malfoy had saved her. She didn't understand him but she knew that since he had rescued her, she would never be able to see him again in the same way. She had always thought that he was arrogant and bad-mannered, too selfish to have friends, that he was presumptuous and a liar. She thought that she knew him well, but in the idea she had formed about him, him risking his life to save a mudblood that he especially hated, didn't fit and it unnerved her deeply. Even though she thought about it again and again she couldn't understand it and this time, she had no book to rescue her. During her stay in the Hospital Wing, she could barely sleep, she had so many things in her head and all of them were related to the Slytherin, so she stayed awake thinking of him. The only thing she was sure of, was that she was wrong about him and that maybe, all this time, she had judged him unfairly.

When she returned to the Common Room everyone went quiet and turned to face her, the many students were interested in how she was, distracted her from her thoughts of Malfoy. After a while of evasively answering everyone's questions and giving them a twisted version of what happened on the lake, she retired to her room with the excuse of preparing her trunk because she was leaving to go home in the morning. Once she was in her room she bit her lip, feeling guilty for lying to everybody. It was one thing to tell a little white lie to make a friend feel better or to cover for him with a teacher, but it was another to lie Harry and Ron and to the her whole house just because a Slytherin had asked her to. Anyway, she reminded herself, no one would believe her if she'd told the truth. Malfoy was right.

She lay on her bed, thinking that it was a little bit sad for someone to do something good and think that no one would believe him if he talked about it. But then Malfoy didn't really seem to care. In fact, Hermione had the feeling that he hid himself to make his good deed all the more impressive. It was not proper of him, and from what he had told Hermione, he just thought she was lucky to survive, but she didn´t think that explanation was good enough and she began to see, that even though she would never have believed it, it was possible that Malfoy had something good in him. Something really good underneath that layer of hypocrisy, narcissism and arrogance. Maybe on the inside he was a good person, probably if he hadn´t had a Death Eater for father or if he hadn´t been in Slytherin he might have turned out differently. Maybe he would smile more often, without malice, mockery or irony, just a simple smile.

She found herself wondering what Malfoy's smile would be like, but the reality was that she had only seen smirks on his face. It appeared that he was one of those people that no one was able to make smile. The kind of person that wasn´t able to feel tenderness… but Hermione knew he wasn't like that. She shivered at the memory of him whispering her name before she lost consciousness. He hadn't said Granger, mudblood or bookworm… no. He had said her name and even though it seemed impossible, to Hermione it had never sounded so sweet.

But what was she thinking? She lay in her bed evoking the memory of the sound of his voice as though she was one of those stupid girls that threw silly laughs every time he looked at them. Angry with herself, she stood up and started to prepare her trunk. Luckily during Christmas she wouldn't see him.

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Hermione returned to school one day before the beginning of classes. The truth was that Christmas hadn't helped her to forget what had happened. She had been totally distracted and even though she had tried to study and have fun with her parents, her thoughts unconsciously flew to the blonde boy. She hadn't told the truth to her parents either, even though they didn´t know who Draco Malfoy was and what meant to be a Slytherin, but there was something that wouldn't allow her to say it and she didn't know what was it. In a way, what had happened in the lake had became a secret, a secret between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin.

When she entered the castle she surprised herself by throwing nervous glances at her surroundings as if she expected to meet someone unsavoury. When she realised this, she got mad with herself and walked in, with Crookshanks in her arms, to the stairs but as she put her foot on the bottom rung, the cat moved and jumped to the floor.

- Crookshanks – cried Hermione turning to face him but the animal was already leaving the hall. Irritated, Hermione followed her cat and watched, astonished at how it turned right and took the corridor that went into the dungeons. Hermione followed him to see where her cat would turn again. She didn't understand why he ran from her and continued to the dungeons, ignoring her calls. Her cat never disobeyed nor acted in that strange way, but she needed to find him to be able to go with her friends. She followed him for a while and more than once she got lost, but the cat meowed as if he was guiding her somewhere.

- Crookshanks, this is ridiculous, come back now – she growled angrily.

- Granger, what a surprise to see you here – murmured a sickly-sweet voice at the end of the hall. Hermione found Malfoy with Crookshanks at his feet and felt breathless. She was surprised to see him there and something more besides, which she couldn't understand but made her feel expectant and strangely excited.

- Crookshanks ran away – she said in a higher pitched voice than she had expected, Malfoy grinned, and that made Hermione nervous.

- Is that what you would tell Snape if he finds out that you've been hanging around Slytherin's Common Room? – he asked maliciously.

Hermione felt a little disappointed. She didn't know how she had expected her encounter with Malfoy to be, but she had hoped that things would have changed. But it was clear they hadn't.

- Why are you looking at me like that Granger? – he asked sharply – maybe you were expecting that I would asked how your Christmas was? – and he let out a derogative laugh that made Crookshanks return to his master.

-Nothing has changed? – she asked sadly.

Malfoy had spent the damn Christmas vacation wondering why he had saved the filthy little mudblood from drowning in the lake. It would have been easy to walk away and pretend he hadn't seen anything. No one could've blamed him for the accident and there would be one less mudblood in the world. But he didn't do it, and that made him feel weak. If his father found out that he had saved her, he would've used the Cruciatus curse on him to punish him for his weakness. He was a Malfoy and he should hate and finish as many mudbloods as he could, that was his destiny as a pure blood. But her… he hated her. He hated that way she looked at him and made him feel unprotected and vulnerable, he hated how she made him angry without any effort, he hated that she was in his thoughts, even in his dreams. He wanted to make her pay for that.

- What did you expect? – he answered disdainfuly – that after I sa… that… after what happened we were going to be friends? Don't be mistaken, Granger, I don't like you.

He was silent for some moments, enjoying how her lips trembled before she pressed them. He was hurting her, and that made him feel better.

- You are so pathetic, jumping from the chair every time a teacher asks something – he mocked – Don't you realize how irritating and pitiful you are? You always want to know everything and be beyond everyone, demonstrate you are the most intelligent. You always have to be perfect and follow rules, and ensure everyone else follows too. You are like an old grumpy seventy-year-old, scolding everybody and telling them what to do. You think you are good, right? You think you are better than everyone but that is because you don't take your head out of your books to see how sad your life is. Pothead is a 'gentleman' so he doesn't say it to you… - he grimaced – and the weasel is to cowardly, but neither of them knows how to get rid of you. Potter is with the Weasley girl and Weasley with Brown… and you are left. You are alone Granger. And the only one that likes you is a stupid, brainless idiot who got so many bludgers to the head he can barely say more than five words, and, as if that isn't enough, since he kissed you he has been running from you. I wonder why…

Draco enjoyed the girl's reaction, as if she was shrinking after each word hit her. Her eyes were full of tears and she looked as though she was about to cry, but she blinked fiercely and even though a few tears fell, she smiled.

-I see you've been watching Dewey and me, Malfoy – she replied with a malicious tone that Malfoy had never heard from her – I wonder why you are so interested.

Without looking at him she leaned to grab Crookshanks and turned to leave, but then she stopped.

-And Malfoy – she said, facing him – I think that instead of criticizing my life, you should take a look at yours… maybe it is everything you said but at least I've got friends. Good night.

And after that she left without looking at him again.

When she was sure Malfoy couldn't see her, all her strength evaporated. She squeezed Crookshanks in her arms while she let out a moan and released the lump in her throat that she had been repressing. Crying desperately she ran through the corridors that connected the dungeons with the Great Hall, feeling that everything around her was just an unclear blotch. When she finally reached the hall, she went to the stairs but her eyes were so full of tears that when she realized the black spot near approaching her was a person, she was almost past them.

-Hermione? – asked the voice. She felt a pair of arms surround her shoulders, holding her tightly and she had to blink many times in order to recognize the face that looked at her so worriedly – what's the matter?

-Ben… - she murmured trying to hold the tears and compose herself with a hand – no… nothing happened – but her voice was trembling and she couldn't stop crying.

-What happened? Who did this? – he insisted softly. When she saw his green eyes full of tenderness and worry, Hermione wanted to cry even more. She neded to be alone to calm down because if he continued to ask her and try to console her, she would be lost.

-It's nothing, really – she said trying to free herself from Benjamin to continue climbing the stairs and get to Gryffindor Tower.

-Nothing? – he asked disbelievingly and without letting her go – Hermione… you are crying as if something terrible happened…

And it had been something terrible, she thought sourly, she had never felt so depressed in her life. She had never been insulted that way, with so much anger and hate. He had attacked all her weak points, reminding her she was an insufferable bookworm, whose best friend was a book. And as if that wasn't enough, he had reminded her that her two friends had a partner and she didn't. It was as if he had picked all her worries and weaknesses and threw them into her face, filling them with hate, and from the lips of a person… a person who had saved her life, that made her sick. She had never felt more pathetic.

- Hermio… - Benjamin interrupted abruptly and saw something above Hermione. When she followed his gaze she noticed a figure at the end of the corridor. It was Malfoy.

- You did this, didn't you? – Benjamin spat, leaving Hermione and walking towards Draco with menacingly – You did this to her…

- Oh, and you are the revenging hero, right? – mocked Draco pointing at him with his wand and grinning, but he felt furious. Very furious. The scene he had come upon when he followed Granger to… well, he didn't know what he was going to do, but when he saw her crying in the arms of that stupid Dewey, he felt worse than if a dragon had bit his ass and now he wanted to throw him an Unforgivable curse. The only thing that worried him was that he didn't know if he wanted to do it because he hated the Ravenclaw or because he saw him touching Granger. For a flash instant, a voice inside him told him that one thing was the motive of the other, but he ignored it and came back to the present. Dewey was threatening him with his wand.

- I don't know what you've done to her but I swear that if I see you insulting her again, messing with her or even looking at her I will…

- What? – asked Malfoy, wishing he would give him a reason to use an Avada Kedavra on him.

- Ben, please – mumbled Hermione, she had hurried down and was standing between them, looking at Dewey and showing her back to Malfoy – it doesn't matter, it's worthless. Forget about him…

- Don't protect him, Hermione – murmured Dewey, for once seemingly too furious to follow Hermione's orders.

- Protect me? – spat Draco – Ha! I don't need any mudblood to protect me, you don't scare me. In fact, I'd be surprised if you were able to move your wand and say a spell at the same time…

Dewey practically threw Hermione to the other side and pointing at Malfoy sent a curse flying, but Draco was prepared and threw a Petrificus Totalus at the same time. Neither of the spells reached it's destiny, in fact they appeared to hit an invisible barrier that absorbed them, without leaving anything. They both looked astonished at the Gryffindor, who wasn't crying anymore and had her wand out. She looked coldly at them.

- Thanks for trying to defend me, Benjamin – she said sharply and Draco was satisfied to hear she used his full name instead of just "Ben" – but I can do it myself. And Malfoy, I don't want to see you again in my whole life. I know that that wish is not going to be fulfilled, but I will be satisfied to act as if you don't exist.

And with this, she walked away, picking up Crookshanks and climbing the stairs. Both Dewey and Malfoy looked at Hermione as she disappeared from view, then they saw each other and understood that the moment had gone. Dewey had lost interest in menacing Malfoy, and the latter dropped his wand hand. Without a word, each one walked away in a different direction.

Hey!

What a Christmas welcome does Hermione had lol You can see that even though he saved her, Malfoy hadn't change his mind… his still the same arrogant prat, and I think a little more… why? Hermione is mad at them, what is going to happen? More until the next chapter.

Thanks for the reviews!