Chapter 11: Forbbiden

Capitulo XI: Prohibido

He rubbed his lips fiercely and spit a curse. He had almost arrived to Slytherin's Common Room, in a record time. He felt urgency from running away from that damned room, as if with that he could be able to forget what had happened and abandoned the sensation he had on the stomach.

His head had many preoccupying thoughts. He had kissed Granger, he had kissed her, and the worst of it… was that he liked it. He cursed himself when he thought that if Filch hadn't appeared he was quite sure that he would still be there kissing her with his whole life. In fact he was just able to think in kissing her again, what the hell was going on with him?

He spitted the password when he reached the wall of Slytherin's Common Room and entered as an exhalation. He scanned the room and soon found what he was looking for. Pansy was sitting in an emerald chair, with bent knees and a boring look, reading a big black leather book. Draco walked rapidly into her, pushed the book away and grabbing her by the back of the neck made her to incorporate. Pansy let out a surprise moan before Draco kissed her urgently, smashing his mouth with hers. The girl had to grab herself fiercely to the Slytherin's robe to maintain balance and not land on the couch, he put a hand on her back to attract her more to him with such force that Pansy thought he was about to crack her in two. But she preferred that before complaining or moving apart from him.

Draco seized to the girl kissing her desperately. She was the only one that could erase every sensation that the bookworm had awaken in him. She must. She will make him forget what happened. One only thought occupied his head: by kissing Pansy he will find the answer to explain why he had kissed Granger. Pansy will demonstrate him that he had kissed Granger just by pure anger, as a way to punish her for slap him. She will demonstrate him that he had only liked the kisses objectively, that she hadn't awakened something deeper in him. That he didn't felt happier reaching euphoria mixed with his frustration to almost make worth kissing the Gryffindor. That he didn't think in Granger, wishing that it was she who answered his kisses instead of Pansy.

But Pansy was not Granger, and even though his mind was trying to trick him, something inside him recognize her and rejected her, because she wasn't who he wanted to kiss. Pansy kissed him skillfully, not in vain he had taught her, but she lacked the sweetness with which Granger had answered him. He ruled in the kissed, Pansy only followed him. Granger instead, was able to break in until he surrendered to more powerful weapons than ability. He didn't kiss her as he had kissed Granger. More hard as he tried, he wasn't able to block out and surrender completely, he kissed Pansy mechanically and soon he lost interest and his mind went to a different way than his body. With Pansy he only had a nice pleasure, what Granger had given him instead, was addictive.

Reaching this point, Draco opened his eyes and stopped kissing Pansy, but she didn't do it. He let her go disappointed, frustrated and furious with himself and with her, he push her abruptly. Pansy watch him taken aback by a few seconds, as if she had been awaken of a dream.

What's wrong Draco? – she asked confused. He didn't answer her and pursing his lips with rage, he walked away from her. All the students that were in the Common Room heard Draco Malfoy slam the door of his room.

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- "Bat wings" – spitted Hermione in front of the Fat Lady's portrait.

- Why are you so disturbed? – inquired the Fat Lady before moving apart to let her in. Hermione answerer with a snort and entered the Common Room frowning and tight lips. Ron, who as sitting with Harry and Ginny, make her signs so she will join them but Hermione was to furious to pretend that nothing had happened, so she said NO with her head and leave to her dormitory. She felt relieved because it was empty and without delay she threw herself into the bed. Crookshanks run to climb onto the red blankets, letting out a caressing moan, and curl up by her side silently.

- He is a stupid jerk – she mumbled crumplin the pillow in her hands. Crookshanks turned its head to her, as if it was listening but Hermione didn't look at him. She was furious. Everything had happened so fast and in a very strange way. She had started running from Malfoy, then they have kissed for minutes and finally they had fought. That seemed to be a ridiculous and unbelievable dream. She pressed her lips remembering everything and reliving the fight but when she did that, she couldn't avoid recalling the glorious minutes in which they have been kissing. And when she did that her rage disappeared replaced by a heavy dead weight of anguish in her chest.

He had kissed her.

Her.

A mudblood.

Far from enjoying herself, Hermione was really worried. Why have he kissed her? And it was obvios that after doing it he had regretted it profoundly otherwise he wouldn't have accused her of using a love filter. She would have sweat that not even the Amortentia of the whole world would be enough to make him want to kiss her and in a certain way that had consoled her because that meant that the love she felt for him will never be possible and she will end forgetting him. But now she didn't know what to think. It was not that she hoped that he will ever be able to feel something special for her… or yes? Until that moment she had never thought of it… but… it was not prove enough that he had kissed her? And now that she thought about it, maybe he didn't hate Dewey, he was just jealous. And that will also explained why he was so interested to know who she was in love with.

She asked herself what will she do if Malfoy return the feelings and felt scared just to think about it. It was already to bad to have fall in love of him, being with him will be worse… she let out a soft laugh trying to low the tension, telling herself that the incident had affected her too much. The only thing she was sure of was that she must forget Malfoy. He was not only a Slytherin but a person with many defects, and he had treated her bad. He not only thought she was one of the many girls sighing for him, he had blame her of giving him a love potion and had kissed her as if she was something he could manipulate. He had kissed her, and blamed her for everything.

Hermione let out a snort just of thinking about it but then told herself that the Slytherin could think whatever he wanted, on the inside they both knew he had kissed her because he wanted to. And in such a way… they had kissed her before… but never like he did. And the difference wasn't just in the way of kissing but in what the kisses had awakened in her. She couldn't deny that the minutes he kissed her had been the best minutes of her life. She had felt nervous, expectation and illusion could be felt in her stomach as if she had eaten thousands of pixies were flying furiously inside her. Her heart beat rapidly until it hurt and she felt the blood heavy in her temples. But she was also filled with a sweet emotion, very sweet that she had no words to describe. It was a mixture of joy, happiness, pleasure… as if her whole body wanted to smile. It had been a wonderful sensation…

She moved to lay upside down her bed and caressed Crookshanks with a silly smile on her lips, thinking that if to make a Patronus you need a happy memory, in that moment she could've made one that will scare all Azkaban.

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Hermione felt how her heart beat faster as Harry, Ron and she approached the dungeons. They had Potions with Slughorn what meant she will see Malfoy for the first time since what had happened on Friday. She had passed the week-end trying to distract with her friends not to think of it but she had not had good results. Harry, Ron and Ginny had noticed she was distracted and both of the boys hadn't stop asking her if she was fine. Ginny had just watched her with suspicious eyes.

Hermione felt very guilty of not being able to answer sincerely and to have to make up excuses. That reminded her constantly that what she had done with Malfoy, what she felt for him, was something impossible. Forbidden. A betrayal.

No one will understand because she was the first one that didn't do it. She didn't know what she saw in him but it didn't matter anyway. Anything that matter was to forget him as soon as possible and also that the incident wouldn't repeat. She had done badly; she didn't want to make it worse.

She felt guilty just to think of the many times she had smiled to herself when she remembered the kisses, when she had let her mind fly to the memories, to him. When she had not listened to what Ron or Harry were saying because she was thinking of Malfoy, when she had made nonsense excuses, that nothing was wrong with her. She will forget him and the remorse will go with him. She won't be a traitor anymore, a traitor that had to hide her feelings and lie to her friends. She will just be her, free of that invisible weight that didn't let her sleep, eat or smile. That love mixed with remorse and guilt. That feeling was as necessary as her rationality and which killed it until it was just a very weak voice in her head. And she had ignored it many times.

When she entered the room with her friends, Malfoy was already inside sitted in his table with his head downwards and his eyes fixed on the table. Hermione's heart raced when she saw him with the hair covering his eyes and thinking. Was he thinking in them? She hold the book tighter and scold herself of thinking in that, she didn't care. Well, she must not care.

She couldn't help to through him a quick look before sitting and she found Malfoy's eyes on her. And what she saw was pure icy fury, coldness, a hardness she had never saw with such intensity. It was very clear that he hated her.

The girl removed her sight quickly and closed her eyes hardly trying to hide what she knew was coming. Lately she cried easily and just because of him. Why was she concerned that after he kissed her, he looks at her which such hatred? Better that way, it will be easier to forget, not only because it was bad but because that meant she had no possibility. But she couldn't avoid feeling that something inside her was dying and reduced to ashes. A hope, a little illusion that was there among every reason, a hope that born over the incident. The illusion that maybe, as crazy as it sound, he could feel something for her. But it was clear he didn't.

- Hermione? – Harry's voice made her open her eyes and turn to face him. Harry and Ron were watching her with preoccupied eyes, as did Professor Slughorn.

- I'm fine – she answered and forced a smile that wasn't to difficult, she was getting used to it – I was just remembering what we saw last class Professor.

Even though Slughorn seemed pleased with that answer, Harry and Ron didn't seem very happy.

When finally Slughorn finished the class, Hermione stood up quickly and picked up her things to get free from the Slytherin's presence. She left the dungeon followed by her but she stopped when she saw at the end of the corridor a brunette boy with green eyes resting on the wall and watching absentminded the ceiling.

She sighed in her insides thinking that she didn't wanted to talk to Ben now but she knew that sooner or later she must do it, so she excused with Harry and Ron and went to talk to him.

- Hi Ben – she greeted. He, as busy as he was watching the ceiling, hadn't noticed that Hermione was near him and when he saw her he got startled and slide to the floor. Quickly he stood up and regain his composure.

- Hi Hermione, I wanted to talk to you… do you have something to do right now? – he asked shyly.

- Well I… - she bit her lower lip thinking in some excuse to give him when she felt someone crash with her so abruptly that she lost her balance and had to hold Ben to avoid falling.

- What is your problem? – spitted Ben while he surrounded Hermione protectively with his arms.

- I don't have any Dewey- Hermione recognized Malfoy's voice behind her but she hadn't the strength to turn so she stood still in Ben's arms – in fact I made you a favor. Now you have the mudblood in your arms, is what you wanted isn't it? And this is the only way you have to get it.

Hermione felt how Ben's body tensed around her and raising her face to him, she murmured with begging voice: - Ignore him Ben, please.

Draco observed tensely how Dewey watch him throwing fire threw his eyes, furious, but when he looked at the bookworm his expression, his face and his body appeared to softened and he smiled before telling her to leave. Draco had to feel satisfied just by squeezing his wand under the robes because Potter and Weasley passed near him throwing menacing looks and following the couple. He wanted to strangle somebody.

Dewey, no, Granger was better. She had the fault of everything. He had provoked Dewey hoping he will answer and Granger will get mad at him but she had look at him with begging eyes and the Ravenclaw had calmed down. Stupid. Stupid, both of them.

Draco's blood was boiling just thinking of what Dewey and Granger were probably doing in that moment and he hated her for feeling that way.

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Hey!

I'm back with a new chapter you can see that after the kiss each one has gone by his/her one way pissed off and with different, very different thoughts but with the same conclusion: they can't be together. Now Ben is back, what does he want?

Thank you for the reviews. Let me tell you that Hermione will not cry for a while and that her friends will appear some more in the future.

Kisses Dry!

Ok… SORRY! I know you not longer believe me… but I don't have as much time as I will like, so I can't write as much as I would like. Hope you'll review =) And thanks to all that are reading this!! Love you!! Lola