Warning: There IS turtlecest in this chapter. It isn't enough to turn your brain into pink goo- in my opinion- but it is heavier than previous chapters so tread carefully. If you don't like some semi-heavy manoxmano, yaoi, slash action, either don't read this chapter or don't read the story at all. Thank you

Raph

Do you have any idea how hard it is not to interact- at all- with the person you have a soft spot for? There is nothing else I'd rather do than to touch him again, to kiss him again, to feel him against me when I needed to be grounded. I missed the little secluded world that we would fall into whenever it was just the two of us, whether we were arguing, fucking... making love, or just talking. Although Leo made it seem like we never had a normal conversation while we were together, I knew there were times- memorable times- when we didn't have to yell. There were even times when we didn't even have to talk and, yet, we were able to have a conversation.

I couldn't name all the times right off the bat but... I knew that they had happened. I knew that there was more to us than just fucking each others' brains out or yelling until our voices were sore... and it wasn't fair of Leo to ask me to think up all those times within a matter of seconds. Didn't our relationship, whether it was over or not, mean more than just a few seconds? Hell, couldn't he think of some of those times where it was just... us? And, if he couldn't, what the fuck did that mean? Could all he see when he thought of us was the bad rather than the good? Was there nothing good about us at all in his eyes?

... Fuck, I hated being in the dark when it came to dramatic shit like this. Him calling us off came as a complete shock to me… hell, it stung a lot more than I thought it would. It came at my like a slap to the face. I would never tell this to anyone but... it hurt me worst than a kick to the groin. How the fuck do you just spring something like that on someone, huh? We had never talked about it in the open. Man... I hadn't even felt that we were that far off from harmony. We had always fought in sync whenever we went out on patrols. I questioned his authority sometimes but I had always identified him as the leader- I would never say that to his face, of course. I always knew what he was thinking and the same went for him. We had always been on point, ever since we were babies. Now... it's like we're strangers... and he's the one that made it that way. He's the one that made it awkward for us. He's the one who had deemed our relationship doomed... and I never got the fucking memo!

I haven't the slightest idea why he broke it off in the first place. I've thought about every possible reason he could have come up with to break it off and, yet, none of them made sense. Even the answers he had told me when I asked him directly didn't make sense. Was it because of the arguing? No; we've argued countless times before we had gotten together and it had always worked out in the end. Was it because of the sex? ... Heh, no. Definitely not. Was it because we were both stubborn as hell? No; we had always been stubborn and we had always worked through it. So, the big mystery of the century- to me anyway- is this: Why did Leonardo Hamato, the fearless leader, the goodie-goodie, the teachers pet, the pretty boy, Mr. prince-charming himself, break our relationship off? That is what I had been trying to figure out for the past two months...

But you know what hurts the most? It's the fact that we had been together for a year- a whole, fucking year- and he opens his legs for Mr. Fuzzy Fuck barely a month after he ended it. I mean, what the hell? What. The. Hell? Even someone as slow as Mikey would've known that I wouldn't just sit back and take it like a little bitch. Shit... you better believe I'm going to get angry. You better believe I'm going down fighting... and I'm not stopping until either Leo's mine again... or I get a darn good explanation for why he ended us.

.. Even so, I hadn't see Leo every since I had talked with him this morning. I didn't think finding him after that would be particularly easy but damn; even if he was a ninja, he was way too good at staying hidden when he didn't want to be found. I called April and Casey to see if he was lying low at their place but they said that they hadn't seen him since their last visit a week ago. I asked Don if he was hiding him in his lab or something but he said that he hadn't seen him since breakfast. I would ask Mikey... but he was too interested in Don at the moment- I didn't even bother to ask. And I knew he didn't go over to Usagi's dimension or else we all would have known about it.

So where could that evasive son of bitch gone?

I grumbled, running a hand over the back of my head as I thought of all the places he could have possibly run off to. I was lying down in my hammock, having nothing better to do. I knew he wasn't topside- Karai's got the city flooded with foot ninja every since her last attack on us... which resulted in the death of Master Splinter. Leo knew better than to just waltz outside with that crazy bitch out for blood. Even when he was just going to visit April, he would make sure to take the most secretive path there in order to avoid detection.

...Wait.

I blinked up at the ceiling, a thought suddenly occurring to me. There was one person that Leo goes... well, used to go to whenever he could talk to us- dear ol' dad. I swiftly sat up, throwing my legs over the side of my hammock to stand up. He had to be there. There was no other place he would be. Springing into action, I retrieved my weapons from onto of a near by dresser, fastening them to my belt before I dashed out of my room and out of the lair.

"Oh, he was here alright," I said silently to myself, gingerly entering the quiet, sacred space that me and my brothers had created as a place for Master Splinter's remains. We had decided to lay him to rest in our first home, the burrow where we had all grown up... before Stockman had his stupid little mousers run rampant in the sewers, almost completely destroying the place. We had cremated him and placed his ashes in an urn that April had gotten for us before we had cleaned the place up as best as we could. It was a lot smaller than it had used to be but it was a perfect size to be considered the resting place of one wise, old, mutant rat.

I knelt down before the urn, bowing my head and quickly paying my respects before I continued with the task at hand- tracking down Leo. The small room had recently been dusted and the air smelled of recently burned incents-sandalwood, exactly what Leo smelled like. It was obvious that my older brother had been here... but it was also obvious that he wasn't here anymore. Damn, I had just missed him... but at least I was on the right track.

I grumbled, swiftly standing to my feet and overlooking the room one more time before I exited back out into the humid, winding tunnels of the sewers. I didn't like the idea that I was using tracking strategies that I would use on my enemies in order to find my own brother but it was the only way I was going to be able to talk to him. It was the only way I was going to get any answers out of him and it was the only we could set the record straight. If he wanted out, then he was going to have to give me one hell of a reason to stop fighting for him.

"Raph...?"

My footsteps came to a gradual halt as voice echoed against the damned stone walls around me. It sounded close by, I just couldn't tell where it was coming from. I took a couple of slow steps forward, listening out to hear the voice again. When it didn't come, I took a chance, "Leo?"

I could sense movement in the slight darkness that resided before me but I wasn't alarmed; I knew it was him. I found a bit weird that he would avoid me this whole time, only to have me catch him on his way back- I'm assuming- to the lair. He was allowing me to catch up with him. He was too good of an escape artist to have coincidently run into him now. I didn't know what the thought did more: anger me or confuse me.

Once my eyes adjusted fully to the darkness of the tunnel, I was able to make out his silhouette, his form leaning against the wall in an apparently casual way. I walked slowly towards him, my eyeridges pulled together, "Ya knew I was looking fer ya... why did ya stop?"

His head turned towards me just I stopped, only a couple feet residing between us, "I'm tired of running away from you. You're my brother, not my enemy."

I release a humorless chuckle, "Ya shouldn't have been running away from me in the first place, doll. It ain't like I'm going ta kill ya or something. I just wanna talk ta ya."

I felt his glare through the dark although I couldn't see it fully myself, "Talk to me? Do you call cornering me, forcing yourself on me, and starting fights- both physical and verbal- talking to me? Wouldn't a simple 'Hey, can we talk about this' suffice?"

Okay, I deserved that, "Yeah well, I'm a guy of action rather than words. I like ta get my hands dirty."

"Hmph, it would't kill you to use your words rather than your fists sometimes, Raph. It could do you some good someday; you never know."

I growled lowly, my hands fisting up at my sides, "Alright. Fine. Let's talk... and no running away this time either."

He paused, his arms rose to cross over his chest, "I'm listening."

The frown that had already been on my lips deepened further, "Good... 'cause I don't want ta hear no bullshit from ya. I want a straight, honest answer this time. No more beatin' around the bush and no more half-ass responses."

He paused again, "... Alright."

I narrowed my eyes in the dark further, taking a quiet, hesitant step towards him. His form shifted slightly in response to my moved but, other than that, stayed firm, "Why did ya do it?"

"... Do what, exactly?"

"What did I just say about listenin' ta bullshit?" I said through clenched teeth, "Ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Leo. Why did ya end it?"

He sighed roughly, pushing himself off the wall and turning to face me fully, "I thought I told you the answer to this already. I had enough of us."

I shook my head, "See, that's the thing. That ain't a fuckin' answer. What did ya have enough of, exactly? The arguin'? The sex? My lack of tact?-"

"Oh, so you know you're bad with words, then?"

I glared at him, continuing to talk even through his interruption, "What did ya have enough of? Give me a reason? Ya don't just decide where the fuck a relationship is gonna go on yer own. Here I am, in the dark about this whole mess, still stuck on ya- wantin' ya- and yer off with some other guy, as if we were neva togetha in the first place. What? Did ya just end us cause ya wanted ta fuck around with someone else."

"It isn't as simple as that, Raph," His voice rose slightly with anxiety and anger, causing it to echo a little louder than expected. He was straining himself to keep his voice down. I was getting under his skin... good.

"Yeah? Well enlighten me. Answer the age old question, then. Why did ya end it without talkin' ta me about it? Give me a reason why ya thought it was necessary. Do ya hate me? Ya can't stand the sight of me or somethin'? Ya don't love me anymore?"

"... I don't hate you..." He said softly, shaking his head while taking a silent step backwards. I could tell I was getting closer to the truth now. His body was trying to retreat even though he said he wasn't going to runaway. Whether he attempted to or not, I wasn't going to allow him to run away from this; not again, "I... I could never hate you."

I felt my expression soften, despite how upset I was. I took another step towards him, regaining the safe distance we had started this conversation with, "Do ya love me?"

He froze, silence invaded the space between. He seemed to be having a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do. He wanted to leave but, at the same time, he wanted to stay and answer me. I could just make out the uncertainty and fear that seemed to boil and churn behind his golden eyes. I heard him gulp before his lips darted out, licking his lips free of dryness; the action didn't really help me all too much with staying away from him but I controlled my urges... for now, "I...I can't..."

"Yeah ya can," I said, following up almost automatically after he forced his response out, "Just say it. Do ya or don't ya? Are ya afraid ta hurt my feelin's or somthin' like that? 'Cause ya didn't seem ta have a problem with doin' that when ya broke it off."

His form tensed at my response, "I didn't mean to... I just didn't think that you would could care so much."

Alright, that did it, "... What the fuck is that supposed ta mean? Of course I would care. How did ya think I was goin' ta feel? Happy?"

"Yes," He shouted back, a sigh to his voice as if he was finally getting something off his chest, "Yes, I thought you would be happy. You'd be free of me and you'd be able to do whatever the hell you wanted to do and... and be with whoever you wanted to be with."

"What are ya talkin' about!" I growled out, stepping to him and firmly grabbed him by his arms. His golden eyes snapped up to me with surprise. I knew I promised myself to stay a safe distance away throughout this conversation... but how could I? "When did I give any sort of hint that I wanted ta be wit' someone other than you, huh? Why the fuck would I want ta be wit' anyone else? "

He tried to pull away from me but failed; we both knew that I was the strongest, "Because... because I thought..."

I tightened my grip around his arm, leaning closer towards him until our noses were almost touching, "Ya thought what? What did ya think?"

I became a bit shocked when he his shoulders began to shake. It wasn't by much and I could tell he was trying to suppress it but I could feel it still, "I-I thought t-that you didn't..."

'... love ya,' I thought, finishing his sentence in my mind. It didn't know how to feel about that... cause if that's what he was going to say then there was no way I was letting him go. I knew I loved him, I have since we became teenagers. How could he think I never did? Didn't he realize that there was absolutely no one else I'd rather be with than him?

He gasped when I jerked forward, pressing my lips to his. He automatically pulled back from me, using one of his hands to push me away but I wasn't having that. I released one of his arms so that I could grab him by the back of his neck, pulling him back towards me while I pushed him into the wall. He groaned when his shell hit the stone wall but continue to struggle.

"R-raph," He gasped against my lips, desperately trying to create space between us, "Please... s-stop..."

I pulled my head back slightly, "No. I love ya, ya idiot, and I'm not gonna stop... not as long as it's you."

He stared back at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. His struggling stopped, giving me enough time to kiss him again; this time with less force. I cupped his face in my hands, gently licking at his bottom lip before I moved past it. I was surprised to feel moisture against his cheek... and I was even more surprised when he began to kiss me back, his tongue move suddenly against mine with sudden hunger and need. His arms reached upward to wrap around my neck, pulling me closer to him with urgency, deepening the kiss further. Oh God, I missed this...

"I'm s-sory," He mumble into the kiss, "I'm so sorry..."

"Shaddap," I grunted after pulling back for a second, releasing his face and reaching down to grab the back of his thighs, using them to lift him up. I pushed against him until my plastron was flush against him and I could feel a slight bulge beginning to grow and harden between his legs. He moaned softly as I pushed him further into the wall, slowly, torturously grinding our arousals together. His legs opened wider so that he could lock his feet behind my shell, increasing the pressure and the pleasure for both of us. I grunted as I continued to move against him, pulling away from his lips to kiss my way down his neck. He inhaled sharply when I began to lick and suck at his pulse line, his arms tightening around me and his hips moving in tune with mine.

One of my hands moved in-between us, slithering down into between his parted legs to release his erection from its prison. He panted heavily against my ear as I began to pump his hard-on slowly, spreading the precum over the head of it. His head feel against me shoulder, releasing soft sounds of pleasure as my hand began to pick up speed.

"I... I missed you," He said quietly, kissing my shoulder, his tongue darting out to lick at my skin. I groaned, coaxing his head to turn towards mine so that I could kiss him again, our tongues moved against and around each other hungrily.

"I missed ya too," I responded to him, my hand began to pump him faster. He began to moan in tune with my movements, breathing out my name repeatedly until his body tensed up, his back arched, and his legs tightening around me as he came. I grinned just as his body began to unwind, his relaxed form collapsing against me. I kissed his shoulder, licking his pulse line once again, "Yer mine, Leo. Not his, mine."

He released a single, weak chuckle at my words, shaking his head against my shoulder, "I suppose I am..."

A/N: Oh gosh. That was harder to write than I first expected. Do you know how many times I had to write this chapter over in order to get it right? This is the third chapter 5 that I had attempted to make. Smh...

Anyway, what will Usagi do once he comes back? Will Leo break it off with him or stay with Usagi? And where are Don and Mikey is this whole thing? You'll find out next chapter :D

Some Don and Mikey fluff is sure to come next (grin)