Chapter 17 - Saturday Blues

What am I afraid of? This is suppose to be what dreams are made of.
But people I don't have the time to hang with, always look at me and say the same shit
You promised me you would never change.

'The Resistance' - Drake

(JPOV)

Fuck. My. Life.

The reason for my being, the girl I was head over heals in love with, my fucking soul mate, she was moving to New York. It wasn't set in stone that she was moving but at the moment it was a fucking huge possibility.

And what the fuck could I do about it? Absofuckinglutley nothing. The only thing I could do was tell her.

I had to tell her the secret, I knew that already. And it would have to be soon. But I was too scared, too afraid of what might happen. She could freak out like Emily did. She could think I was lying to her, then she would hate me - I think that would be too unbearable.

Telling would be, no doubt, a bad mistake. I really could not afford to lose her. I would fucking die if I lost her. Or if she really did end up leaving for New York.

Either way I was fucked.

"Fucking pull yourself together Jared." Paul said, putting a hand on my shoulder, which I quickly brushed off as I got in my car. "I know what you're thinking... or at least I have a very good idea of what you are thinking about. Let me just tell you, one more time, that you are fucking overreacting !"

I scowled at him. "Fuck off Paul. I'm not in the fucking mood."

He laughed - the fucker had balls- loudly and walked around quickly to get in the passenger seat. It was around 7:30 a.m, and we were outside my house about to head to school.

Last night I couldn't stay over Kim's house because of patrols, and when I got home I was a fucking mess. I didn't get much sleep. I woke up about half an hour ago to take a shower. Then I grabbed some black jeans and a white t-shirt, and a random flannel shirt from the floor, shook my wet hair, grabbed three grannola bars, and made my way outside. Little did I know Paul was waiting for me on the porch.

"Well you're of-fly moody today." He continued on laughing and I grew even more annoyed with him. After a while his laughter died off. "Relax man, you really are over reacting."

I huffed out an annoyed breath and started making my way through the quiet streets of La Push.

"Dude, I know you aren't really asking for my opinion or advice, but I think you should tell her."

I looked at him like he had three heads. "Are you crazy? She'd fucking hate me!"

Paul rolled his eyes. "You can't know that."

"I'm not going to fucking tell her." I said stubbornly.

"She's your soulmate and all that crap right? Isn't she supposed to understand?"

In the back of my mind I knew that and it gave me small hope. But there was a greater chance of things ending bad, and I really did not want to get my hopes up only to have them smashed.

"Did Emily understand when Sam told her?" I challenged.

I knew I was right, because Paul Tatum being right for a chance was too fucking good to be true.

He shook his head. "But she did come around eventually..."

"That's not good enough for me!" I yelled, all of a sudden trying to stand up in my car seat because I really did not know what else to do with myself.

Paul chuckled. "Sit your ass down, or you're going to wreck your car! My point is that it will all workout in the end... It has to! You two are fucking soulmates, you idiot!"

I sat back down and nearly kicked myself for being so damn stupid.

Of course it would workout! We were soulmates, we were destined to be together. How could I forget the most important detail of all?

I laughed. "Well Paul, I didn't fucking know you had a soft side!"

He looked at me menacingly. " I don't have a fucking soft side. You know I could kill you right?"

I laughed again. "Please, I'll fucking kick your ass."

"Look we're brothers, so I have to pull your head out of your ass sometimes, but I don't have soft side. So please don't let me catch you telling anyone that. I have a reputation to keep."

I grinned at him, "Whatever."

We slowly pulled into the La Push High parking lot and I turned off the car.

"I hate school. Why do have to keep coming? We're already protecting everyone, I don't see the need to continue on being here." Paul ranted on. Wow he was whinny.

I didn't say anything as we exited my car and headed towards the nearest picninc table, which was in front of the school's entrance. I sat on the table and put my feet on the sitting part loudly.

I was about to bring up Paul's 'soft side' again, when I heard the annoying giggles coming from my left. I turned my head and saw my 'ex' Lissette staring at me with a very familiar looking girl. It took me a while to realise that the girl was George's girlfriend, Hailey. She, Hailey, continued on staring me and it made me uncomfortable.

I was pretty sure my discomfort was showing. Fuck if I tried to play it off.

"Dude," I heard Paul whisper. "Who is that hot chick with Lissette and why is she staring at you?"

"Eh, that would be Hailey, Kim's older brother's girlfriend."

"Oh." Was all he said.

All of a sudden I sat up straighter and my heart started beating faster. That could only mean one thing... Kim Motherfucking Cohnell was entering the premisses.

I stood up ignoring Paul when he said ,"Pussy whipped." -yeah he knew where I was going- and made my way to the spot where Kim and Mandy get droped off.

I ran a nervous hand through my hair. Fuck, what if she told me we had to breakup because she really was moving to New York. That thought alone made a weird feeling go through my heart.

Paul was right. I really was pussy whipped.

I put my hands in my pocket and felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I resisted the urge to rip that person's hand off - I really hated when people touched me without my permission. Well exept Kim.

I put a scowl on my face - to try and scare who ever was touching me - before looking at the person.

"Jared!" Hailey squealed. It hurt my ears. "How fancy seeing you here!"

What an airhead. I just saw you a minute ago, I thought.

I gave her a nod and a tight lipped smile. Her very presence was annoying me.

"So how have you been?" She asked as she put her hand on my arm.

I tried to politely yank my arm away from her.

"Good." Was my response. Short and simple, leaving no room for conversation.

But Hailey obviously could not take a hint. "Really, that's awesome! Listen we should totally hangout one of these days."

I made a face that said 'With you? Ha, never. Dream on!' . And she cowered away slightly.

"I meant with Kim and George, silly." She giggled.

Seriously? Silly ? Who fucking says that anymore?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the girl my heart starts doing double time for. And Hailey was ruining the moment by continuing on talking about god-knows-what. I tuned her out to the best of my ability.

Kim stepped out of her car wearing another one of her adorable sweaters and a babyblue dress. She fixed her sweater and smoothed the skirt of her dress. She stood waiting for Mandy to get out of the car - I realized today was going to be Mandy's first day back.

Mandy handed Kim her messenger bag as she got out of the car, and she also smoothed her clothes.

Kim's eyes roamed around, hopefully searching for me. Her eyes finally settled on me and I swear I heard someone's phone go off, their ringtone being a teenage love song. It was something right out of a chessy movie.

Except it wasn't; I was one lucky motherfucker.

"Hey." I whispered smoothly in her ear. After a few seconds I still had no response from her. That obviously worried me. "Kim?"

I pulled back trying to see her eyes, but they were fixated on something behind me. I followed her gaze towards where I had left Paul a few minutes ago when I was waiting for Kim. My eyes halted when I saw Hailey and Lissette looking at Kim and I; They whispering but I honestly did not want to know what or who about.

And suddenly I was not such a lucky motherfucker. Because Lissette was suddenly approaching me. And I do me, just me, and only me.

"Jared." She cooed.

I felt Kim tense up.

Shit.

I gave a nod in Lissette's direction. That was my way of acknowledging her.

"Oh hey Kim." Lissette greated with false politeness.

"Hi." Kim said quietly.

Oh no. This was not good.

"So anyways, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to my party." the skank told me directly. "It'll be just like old times." she batted her eyes suggestively.

"No." I shook my head.

"Please! We miss you," she whined. Her face was getting on my last nerve. "I miss you..."

I snorted. "I sure don't miss you."

I saw my Kim smiling.

"You can bring her if you want." Lissette added. As if it would make a difference.

Kim started laughing. "Lets go Jared." She said through giggles. "We're going to be late for class."

I smiled and took her tiny hand.

As we walked away Kim muttered. "Desperate dumb bitch."

"That was fucking hilarious!"

Kim rolled her eyes. "She's so delusional! Its scary how many brain cells she must be lacking!"

"Yeah..." I agreed as I watched Kim dodge a puddle.

"So listen," Kim began, "My parents are coming home to have dinner with us this weekend and I was kind of wondering if you wanted to come. Its no big deal though. You don't have to go if you don't want to."

I could tell that it was in fact a big deal.

I nodded. "I'll go."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah. Is it a really formal thing?

She shrugged. "I don't think so. We're going to a restaurant. Also, Demi and Jordy are going so don't feel too worried."

"Okay. I'm chill, don't worry."

... ... ...

(Five days later; Saturday)

I was defiantly not chill.

I ran my hands through my hair in utter frustration. Ugh ! What the hell am I supposed to fucking wear ? I've been standing in front of my closet for ten fucking minutes and I honestly do not know what to fucking wear. Do I go formal? Casual maybe ? Do I dress like I would normally dress... Or like a fucking tool ?

Wow. I can't believe that I am a straight guy having this problem. What. The. Fuck.

So this is what it's like to be a fucking girl. Gah, I hope I never in my life have to go through this again.

"Do you need help getting dressed Jared?" asked Annie in her adorable voice.

She squealed in delight when I abruptly picked her up.

"Well Annie, I think I could use some help. What do you think I should wear to diner with Kim's parents? What should I wear?"

Annie looked so adorable - taking my question into serious consideration. It was so adorable that I almost didn't notice the female entering my room.

"Are you going to a restaurant or is it at home?" asked Emily.

"Knock much, Em?"

She smiled sweetly at me. "It's funny Jared, because I don't remember you ever knocking when you come over. Hmm, it seems like your bad manners are rubbing off on me."

A loud obnoxious laugh came out from outside my door.

"Ah man ! Burn... Epic burn. Good job, Em, we're finally rubbing off on you." Paul complimented Emily as he came inside my room.

"Please stop being a dumbass. I'm afraid that you are gonna rub off on Annie." I muttered, sarcasm oozing from my tone.

He glared at me, in which I returned a smirk. "I'm afraid your asshole personality is gonna rub off on poor little Annie."

Emily slapped the back of our heads. "Both of you stop being idiots! And keep off the foul language. Annie shouldn't have to hear those words."

"Well fuck, you don't gotta fucking hit us!" I complained even though it didn't hurt. "And c'mon you should know that having me as a brother will result in a potty mouth. Isn't that right Annie?"

Annie giggled. "Hell yeah!"

"You know 'hell' isn't technically a swear-"

Little Annie interrupted Paul. "Dumbass."

Emily gasped. "Jared! You have to stop swearing around her!"

I groaned.

"Now answer the question!" she demanded. "Dinner at home or a restaurant?"

"Uh, at a restaurant. It's not just me that's going though. Her friends Jordy and Demi are too."

"You're wearing a suit." Emily decided.

"What?" My voice was panicked because guess what, I was fucking panicking. Suits meant it was a big deal and if it was a big deal then I would for sure screw it up... badly. "Demi and Jordy are going to, that has to mean its casual!"

She smiled sympathetically at me. "Oh Jared. Jared, Jared! What am I going to do with you? If it's meeting her parents then it must be important. And if it's not, you at least get to look nice."

"Whatever." I muttered and pulled out my grey suit.

I smiled. "It doesn't fit!" My voice sounded a lot more exited than I meant for.

Emily glared at me and then five seconds later she threw me a sickly sweet smile. "That's okay. I'm sure Sam's suit will fit you."

And sure enough Emily was right about two things: Sam's suit did fit me - like a glove actually- and diner was not a casual event today. All of the men were wearing their best clothes.

As I stepped on Kim's porch, Jordy came out of the house wearing a sharp navy-blue suit.

"Well, well Jared." He said stepping closer.

"Hey man." I said in a mocking warning tone.

He laughed. "Chill dude, totally not my type. Actually I'm not that sure what my type is... And besides, I was gonna tell you that you did a shit job with your tie."

What. The. Fuck?

I ignored his jab. "What do you mean you aren't sure what your type is?"

He frowned and sighed loudly. "I can't believe I'm going to ask you this but, have you... Have you ever woken up with an urge to have a girl underneath you?"

I let out a laugh. "What?"

"Jared." He yelled very annoyed. "I'm being serious! I want to have a 'straight' guy conversation right now and you aren't helping."

I heard the seriousness in his voice. "In all seriousness?"

Jordy nodded.

"Um yeah." I cleared my throat. This conversation was getting real awkward real fast. "Typically 'straight guys' have that as their first thought in the morning. But... you, you're gay. Aren't you?"

"Fuck you... And yeah. More or less. Today less I guess. " Jordy shrugged like it was nothing. I felt awkward.

Not that I have anything against being, you know gay, but this information seemed like something you tell your close friend. Not your close friend's boyfriend/ soulmate/ honorable werewolf.

Jordy laughed. "It's no big deal you know. If I trust you enough with Kimmy, then I trust you with this. No biggie."

I tried to shrugg it off.

Yep. No biggie... No biggie my ass.

Jordy smirked. "I can tell this is making you uncomfortable."

"What's making who uncomfortable?" Kim asked, comming out of nowhere really.

And all I could say was. "Damn."

For someone who dressed amazingly innocent and modest, Kim sure knew how to get me going. The dress she wore was very innocent: above her knees, strapless, and a very appealing cream color. With reasonably hight black pumps.

I heard Jordy whistle and I growled at him. Please excuse me going all caveman.

Jordy stiffled a laugh. "I was telling Jared that I think I'm going straight."

Kim started choking and I instinctively pulled her into my arms and gently patted her back. When Kim was breathing normally again she stayed in my arms and I smirked.

"What?" Kim screeched. "You're straight now?"

I put my arms on her shoulders. "Kim, please calm down."

"Kim, you knew I was never fully gay. I am also not fully straight either." Jordy mummbled. "I was playing the field a little and expirimenting, but that was it. I don't know what's going on... I'm just-"

"Confused." Kim finished for him. "It's okay Jordy. Really none of us know what we are going to want twenty years from. Fuck, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, why should you? We're fucking teenagers dude. We have like forever to figure the hard stuff out."

Some of us don't really have forever, though.

Jordy smiled at her. "You know Jared, you are one lucky guy."

I grinned widely. No shit, I wanted to say. Instead, I said "I know."

"But did you know man, I was Kim's first boyfriend?" Jordy sounded smug. "Yeah, I tapped that already." He added casually.

Jordy was gay, I knew that. But telling me he was Kim's first boyfriend didn't make my blood boil any less. I glared at him, willing the universe to swallow him whole.

"Oh my god!" Kim yelled. "You did not tap that. You barley held hands with that."

"Well whatever! In fourth grade holding hands is tapping that!"

Kim snorted.

"You look nice Jared." she commented.

Before we could enjoy the moment someone interrupted us.

"KIM!" Yelled a voice from the inside.

My love sighed. "Jared, I think it's time you meet my parents."

She did not look too happy about that.

to be continued...

Ah fuck. I think that is considered a cliffy. This story is quickly coming to its end. There are about 2 or 3 more chapters, not counting the epilogue. I'm gonna be honest and say its sort of written.I keep saying it is but its not fully. And I don't always have time. Much less now that I have started writing two new fanfics. &Sorry if this chapter felt rushed. Its been some-what written for a while now & I really wanted to update.

Incase anyone is still reading this... How do you think the dinner will go?

Idk if anyone had noticed this but I keep using rap lyrics. Not many people would agree but I think rappers are like poets. In a way, you know. They make rhymes that have a flow and if you actually listen, you hear beautiful words put together. They tell a story and shit. You have to listen listen to it. You'll be surprised at metaphors and they use.

-love, Souped AleSunshine (formally known as mccartneycullenjacksoN)

PLAYLIST::

-The Resistance, Drake

-Nightmares of The Bottom, Lil Wayne

-Need You, Lady Antebellum