The reason why
A/N: I own nothing...
March 1996
Angela was pissed. After being on her feet, waiting tables all day, she was ready to relax and enjoy her Saturday night. She would be enjoying it, if Jordan had actually showed up to get her. He was supposed to pick her up from the restaurant after band practice. After waiting almost an hour for him, she decides to walk to the loft, only a few miles away.
Angela VO: Where the hell is he? He should have been here a while ago. Doesn't he know how to use a damn phone? I'm gonna kill him. I bet he's been drinking. I really wish he would stop.
Angela walks the stairs to the loft. She can here laughter coming from inside. She pulls the door open and walks in. As she looks around she sees Shane sitting on the sofa with some chic she doesn't know. Tino and Rayanne are together in the hammock, Rayanne drinking from her flask and Tino holding a beer. Tommy and Joey are playing basket ball with the trash can and a wad of paper. She finally spots Jordan sitting in a chair across the room. He has a beer bottle in his hand.
She greets everyone, before making her way over to Jordan. "Hey, where were you?" He reaches for her hand and tries to pull her into his lap.
"Hey, babe. Come see me. I missed you today."
She pulls away from him. "Jordan, why didn't you pick me up?"
"Damn, I forgot. And I had a few beers. You know I don't drive when I've had a few." He sits his beer on the floor and tries to pull her in his lap again.
"Jordan, I waited on you for like an hour. I walked all the way here from the restaurant." She steps back from him. "What, you couldn't call?"
"Geez, Angela. Am I your fucking driver? What's the big deal, huh? You're here now, aren't you? Come sit with me." He slides over in the chair to make room for her, picking his beer up and taking a drink.
"No, I don't wanna sit with you. I thought we could hang out tonight, just me and you." She crosses her arms and frowns down at him.
Rolling his eyes, he says to her, "Well, why can't we just hang out here tonight? I don't feel like going anywhere. I'm hanging out with my friends right now."
"Yeah, Angela, let him off his leash so he can play with the boys," Shane butts in, laughing. Jordan and the other guys laugh with him. "Just chill. Catalano doesn't have to be stuck up your ass all the time."
"Shut up, Shane. I don't remember asking for your input." Angela, tired and pissed off, takes Jordan's hand and tries to pull him from the chair. "Jordan, lets leave."
"No, I'm not going anywhere. He's right, just chill. C'mon, babe, stop being so pissy." He takes another drink of his beer and lays his head back, closing his eyes.
Angela looks down at him and takes a deep breath. This has become a regular thing for him. After practice, the guys will sit around drinking. If she's there, she usually drives them back to her house and fixes him coffee, before sending him home. If she's not, she assumes that he crashes at the loft. He really doesn't like to drive his precious car if he's been drinking.
At first, she didn't mind him having a few beers. She understands how hard things have been for him. He and his dad have been arguing nonstop for the past few weeks because he wants Jordan to pay rent for staying in his house. He's been at Jordan since he turned 18 last summer, but Jordan had convinced him to let him stay until graduation. Working part time at the garage is just enough for him to pay for gas and his car insurance and have a little money to put back for LA. After graduation, he and the guys were planning to head to LA so they would have a better chance of being recognized. Then he wouldn't have to worry about his dad anymore.
Now days, he was drinking a lot more. After he's had a few, he starts to get cocky and shows out in front of his friends. He turns into a regular smart ass with her and she's getting a little tired of it. Not liking this side of him, she wants to get him out of there. This was the first time he actually forgot to come pick her up and he'd never turned down the chance to be alone with her.
After a few minutes of watching him sit with his eyes closed, she reaches down and touches his arm. "Jordan, come on, let's go somewhere."
Opening his eyes, he says, "Angela, I said no. I don't want to go anywhere. I want to hang here for a little while."
Rayanne speaks up, "Hey, Angelica, pull up a chair. You can hang out with us. I know these guys are a bunch of retards, but their company ain't so bad."
"I really don't feel like it, Rayanne. I've had a long day and I just wanna get out of here. No offense to you guys." She turns back to Jordan. "Are you coming with me or not?"
When he shakes his head no, finishing his beer, she's had enough. "Fine. You hang here. I'll walk home." She turns to leave, and he grabs her hand.
"What, are you gonna pout now? I didn't let you have your way, so you're gonna leave?" He gets up from the chair to stand beside her. "It can't always be about what you want."
"I'm not pouting. I'm just tired and I wanted to be with you, but whatever. Have fun with your boys." She walks toward the door and he follows.
"Oh, grow up, Angela. You act like such a fucking baby when you don't get your way. What's the big deal?" He sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. "I'm with you all the time. I just wanted to chill for a minute. Sorry I ruined your plans."
"You know what, I'm getting tired of how you treat me in front of your friends when you've been drinking anyway. I don't want to sit here and listen to your smart ass mouth tonight. I've had a long day. I'm going home. Either you stay here and get drunk, or you can go with me and we can be alone." Opening the door, she walks out and starts down the steps with him following behind.
When they get to the bottom, he tries to pull her into his arms. "Babe, don't be like this."
As he tries to kiss her, she pulls away. "Jordan, I want you to stop drinking. I don't like how you are when you've been drinking. You're being an ass."
Letting his arms drop to the side, Jordan says to her, "Angela, you aren't my fucking mother. I can do whatever the fuck I want." Turning away from her, he continues. "How are you gonna tell me to stop drinking? I'm not doing anything wrong. I stay at the loft, I don't drink and drive and I don't bother anyone. I'm a big boy. I don't need you telling me what to do."
More hurt than angry now, she goes to him. "Jordan, I just meant that I miss how you used to be. You drink all the time now. I don't like it."
"Whatever, Angela. Just go home. If you don't like me like this, then you don't have to be around me. I thought you understood, but I guess you don't." He turns and heads back up the stairs.
She knows that she's pissed him off now. Not wanting to leave things this way, she calls out to him. "Jordan, wait. Are you gonna come by tomorrow?"
He yells down to her from the top of the steps. "Why the fuck should I even bother? Maybe we just need some time apart or whatever so you can decide if you still like me."
Crying now, she says to him, "Jordan, that's not what I meant. I just think you should slow down a little. I don't want some time apart."
"Well, since you don't like me, we don't need to be together, do we? Go home. I'm going back inside to be with the people who still like me." He opens the door and walks back inside, leaving her crying on the sidewalk.
Sunday morning, Jordan wakes up in the chair at the loft with a major headache. His arm is asleep because of how he slept on it. It's not the first time he's woken up at the loft. He seems to be waking up there on a regular basis lately.
He gets up from the chair, stretching. He starts to gather his things so he can head home and take a shower before going to pick Angela up, hoping that his old man has already left. He and Angela had made plans to take a drive out to the lake, just to hang out. They haven't been able to spend a whole day together in a long time because either one or the other was always working on the weekend.
As he's walking down the stairs, he starts to remember bits and pieces of the night before. He remembers practice and then someone pulling out the beer. He remembers Tino and Graff showing up. And then he remembers when Angela came in.
Jordan VO: Oh fuck! What did I do? Did I seriously tell her that I thought we needed some time apart? God fucking damn it! Why do I do shit like that? Why do I say shit I don't mean? She was right, I do need to stop drinking so much. Did I fuck everything up again?
Nearing panic, he gets in his car and heads straight to her house. He pulls to a stop at the curb, shutting the engine off and throwing the door open. Running up the steps, he knocks on the door. As he waits, he runs his hands through his hair, trying to remove the tangles.
Angela opens the door. He can see that she'd been crying. She just stands there with her arms crossed looking at him.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before speaking to her. "Angela, can I come in?"
"No, Jordan, you can't." She doesn't budge. "I don't want my parents to see you like this."
"Well, will you at least come out here for a minute?" She steps out onto the porch and pulls the door closed behind her. At least she didn't slam the door in his face. "Look, Ang, I'm really sorry about last night. I was a total ass to you. You don't deserve that from me."
Not wanting her to see how scared he is, he sits down on the top step and puts his head in his hands. "I shouldn't treat you that way. I don't really remember everything I said, but I know I didn't mean it."
Sitting beside him on the steps, she turns to look at him. "Jordan, you told me that you thought we should spend some time apart. Did you mean that?"
"Fuck no, I didn't mean that! I don't want to be apart from you." He shifts closer to her and takes her hand. "Angela, just the thought of us not being together scares the shit outta me." Laying his head against hers, he closes his eyes. "Babe, I love you. I'm sorry for whatever I said to hurt you. I was kinda lit. I can't even remember how many I had."
"Jordan, look at me." She takes his chin in her hand and turns him to face her. She looks him straight in his bloodshot eyes. "I want you to stop drinking, I mean really stop. I won't go through another night like last night. You were nasty to me. Do you know that you didn't even come to pick me up? I waited on you for almost an hour before I walked to the loft."
"Fuck. I don't even remember. I'm sorry, Ang. I just wanted to relax a little. I didn't intend to get drunk." Lowering his head in his hands again, he whispers to her. "Red, I'll do whatever you want me to. I'm sorry I keep fucking this up."
"What I want is for you to tell me that you'll stop drinking. I won't go through this with you. If you want to be with me, you stop now." Putting her arms around him, she pulls him against her. "I know you were drunk last night. I can forget about all of it, if you promise you won't do it again."
He lays his head against her chest and wraps his arms around her. "God, Red, I was so fucking scared that I messed this up again. I drove over here in a panic, trying to remember what I said or did. I remember yelling at you and telling you we need some time apart." Squeezing her tight, he goes on. "I didn't mean it. I swear I don't know why I said it. It had to be the alcohol talking."
They sit there on the steps with their arms around each other. She's running her fingers through his hair, holding him against her. "That's what I mean, Jordan. Alcohol makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. As much as I hate to bring it up, you would have never slept with Rayanne if you hadn't been drinking. I know you wouldn't have been so nasty to me, if it hadn't been for the alcohol. You've got to stop now. Don't let yourself become an alcoholic. Don't turn in to your dad."
He can feel the tears forming in his eyes and he tries to hold them back. He doesn't want her to see him cry, so he keeps his head down. He can't keep his voice from shaking. "I will not turn into my dad. I'll stop, now, today." Using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, he turns his face into her. "I'm so sorry, babe. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad, Jordan. It hurt my feelings, but I knew you didn't mean it. I knew once you sobered up, you'd regret it. It's ok." She turns his face up to hers. "I love you, Jordan. No matter what."
Not caring about the tears on his face anymore, he leans in to kiss her. He finally starts to let himself believe everything will be ok. He didn't ruin things after all. Pulling back a little, he uses his shirt to wipe his face. "God, Angela. I'm terrified that one day you're gonna wake up and decide you don't want to be with me anymore. I don't think I could live without you. Why do you keep putting up with my shit?"
"Because I don't think I could live without you. When you love someone you don't bail out when things get tough. I'm not going anywhere." She pulls his head down and kisses tears away, before kissing him on the lips.
"Red, what did I ever do to deserve you?"
Getting up from the steps, Angela pulls him up with her. She wraps her arms around his waist for a hug. "The way I see it, we both got lucky." With a quick kiss, she pushes him down the steps. "Now go home and shower so you can get your ass back over here to pick me up."
Smiling for the first time all morning, Jordan walks backward down the front walk. "I'll be back in an hour, so be ready. Grab a blanket and I'll bring lunch. I love you, babe."
Smiling back at him, she blows him a kiss. "Yeah, I know you do." She stands on the porch watching him drive away.
I feel like I'm updating too soon, or something...Should I make the chapters longer instead of posting one everyday? Thanks to all of you who keep reading and thanks for the reviews. I hope you're enjoying my story...there are a lot more of you reading than are reviewing, so I guess it's not that bad. =)