He ran.

The pain in his head was blinding. It took over his entire body and psyche and drowned him in a torrent of misery. Doubt, anger, and lust for revenge boiled in the torrent. He fought for breath, for refuge, for anything to become his hypothetical life jacket and bring his head above the thing that threatened to drown him. For a tenth of second, Hatsuharu was brought to a vague form of reality. He could feel his legs pounding beneath him and the roughness of the terrain. He could hear his own blood pumping in his ears and the hot tears that dried on his cheeks. Again, Haru quickly slipped out of reality, and he continued to struggle with the emotions that were about to capsize him.

He just didn't understand. Why, why did everything around him have to crumble and break? Truly, he must be cursed with something more powerful than what affected the rest of the Sohma family. It was his fault, or some wicked higher power, that contributed to the death of his love, Rin Sohma. She had been cruelly slaughtered. She had never gotten the chance to live outside of the curse, to be free with him. After lovemaking Haru would mutter sweet nothings into her ear, envisioning a life where they would wake up together, kiss each other good-bye for work, eat dinner together, and go to bed together. He had envisioned a life with her. Now that she was gone, it was clear that he had no future. Rin was his future… Rin had been his future.

Her beautiful and tragic life had been cut short. With a small, nimble foot, Akito had snuffed out the tenuous candle that had been Rin's life. It seemed only fitting that Haru would approach Akito and convince him to kill Haru the same way Akito had slaughtered the love of his life. He wanted to relive her death and join her in the afterlife to celebrate eons and eons of togetherness. There was a heaven out there, somewhere, where Rin was in her knee-high boots and short skirts, waiting for him. He could almost reach out and touch her tresses. The ebony silk that was her hair danced just out of his reach, the scent of lavender basking over him in his gloriously familiar way. Rin wasn't dead. No, she was very real, and in front of him…

In a split second, Haru collided with a tree and crumpled to the ground. Delirious, he reached out and ran his fingertips over the tree's bark. The sensation he got was not of rich, creamy vanilla skin, but of cracked and rough bark. A few tears slid out from between his clenched eyelids and moistened his wind-whipped skin. Groaning, the Ox clutched his head and rolled over onto his knees. A drop of blood left his lips. In a wild fit of anger, he punched the ground. His knuckles struck an overgrown root. Haru howled in pain and flopped onto his back.

He had reached the lowest of lows.

For a long time, Hatsuharu lay on his back and listened to his wild and frantic breathing. Slowly, he felt his breath stabilize. Instead, he listened to the pounding in his head and the throbbing in his hand. Whenever he tried to open his eyes, Haru saw only swimming tree branches and bright blue sky. The Ox squeezed his eyelids shut, avoiding the world outside his lids. Nature went on as it always did while Hatsuharu was left, wallowing in his misery. Birds chirped and squirrels bickered as if nothing was wrong. He didn't understand why nature wouldn't wallow with him. He felt that the sky should have darkened and rain poured from the ominous clouds as soon as Rin… as soon as she… fell. Haru attempted to swallow, but a lump prevented that. He continued to lie there, contriving the best possible way to end his life so he could begin an afterlife with Rin. It seemed like ages before his brain began to function enough to plot out his next move.

Then it hit him.

If Rin died in a quick, nearly painless way, he would die painfully and slowly. He would relish in the feeling as it brought him closer to his deceased lover. Screwing up his courage, Haru raised himself enough to lean against his arms. The Ox then began to drag his exhausted body into the shadows of the massive trees. They would cloak him as his body began to shut down from starvation and thirst. It would be his grand finale, all in the name of Isuzu Sohma. He settled his head against the base of a tree and closed his eyes. There, he awaited Death in his slow, purposeful movements.

-

"Thank you so much for your help… Yes, you've all done a wonderful job. I think I got the rest from here."

Haru awoke suddenly. The world around him was calm and still. His first thought turned to Heaven and the afterlife – surely he couldn't already be there? He didn't have the courage to open his eyes. Instead, his hearing held onto the breathless voice that came from his front. Haru could hear Rin. It was her voice that encouraged him to open his eyes, to look at her. He had joined her in the afterlife after all, and his trip was much quicker than expected. Joy erupted in his abdomen as he struggled to sit up. Haru forced his eyes open to behold the one he held so dear to his heart…

When his vision focused at last, he felt his heart plummet into nothingness. Sitting before him was not Rin. He was not in the afterlife. Instead, he had been put on a futon with Yuki Sohma sitting in front of him. He was located in Shigure's modest home. The Ox clenched his teeth and lay back down, turning his back to Yuki. "Get the fuck away from me. I don't want to see you," he growled vehemently. In one fell swoop, Yuki had ruined all of his plans of savoring his path to Rin. Yuki was a selfish bastard for pulling him out of the forest. It was all his fault. Everything. Yuki sought to ruin lives, especially his.

"I know you don't want to see me right now, Haru. I'll just… sit away so you can't see me, okay? Just get some rest – you can call me if you need anything," Yuki offered. The Rat moved off the futon and into a far corner. This way, he was out of Haru's vision and he could get some sleep. With a generous portion of rest, Haru might be able to collect his thoughts and start to heal, inside and out. He didn't know what had happened to Haru's face, chest, and hands, but Haru looked like he had gotten into a fight with something – or someone – very large and foreboding. Yuki suppressed a sigh and stared at Hatsuharu's back. If only he could ease his pain…