Things aren't always what they seem
I own nothing...
Opening the refrigerator, Angela reaches in and removes a bottle of formula to heat for Justin. It's six o'clock in the morning, almost time for Justin to wake. He's like a little alarm clock. At 7 months old, he sleeps all night long, but he's an early riser. Rubbing her eyes, she grabs a cup from the cabinet, running hot water into it. Placing the bottle down in the cup of hot water, she leans against the counter to wait for it to warm.
Angela VO: What's wrong with Jordan? Why has he been acting so strange lately? He's been really moody, too. Maybe it's just the stress from the new album and shooting the new video. He's probably just got a lot on his mind.
Pulling the bottle from the water, she tests it on the inside of her wrist. Taking the bottle with her, she heads upstairs to the nursery. When she opens the door, Justin is laying on his stomach awake. Seeing his mom, he starts kicking his feet.
"Good morning, sweetie. Are you ready to get up?" Angela picks Justin up and hugs him to her before moving over to the changing table to change his diaper, talking to him the whole time. When he has a clean diaper on, she picks him up and carries him to the rocking chair to feed him.
This time of morning with Justin has become her favorite part of the day. She sits with him in her arms, feeding him his bottle. It all seems so peaceful. The baby is happy, content to be held. It's almost like she can forget the tension between her and Jordan.
Jordan has been staying in the studio longer and longer each day. He comes out only to eat lunch and then for dinner before heading back downstairs. A few times, he's taken the day off and taken Maddie out or drove into LA to meet with the record company, but mostly he stays holed up with Shane and Tommy.
He skips breakfast, usually heading downstairs while Angela is in the nursery with Justin. If they pass in the hall, he'll give her a quick kiss, before moving on. If they're in the same room, he'll talk to her, but it seems like he really isn't interested. At night, when they're in the bed, he lies facing away from her until she goes to sleep. Sometimes when she wakes at night, his arms are around her.
Justin finishes his bottle. Angela moves him up to her shoulder burping him. Sitting him in her lap, she continues to rock him. "Justin, don't grow up on me, ok? I want you to stay like this. You're so uncomplicated right now." Sighing, she's rubs her hand over his hair.
Jordan can hear Angela in the nursery talking to Justin. Already dressed, he makes his way downstairs to start a pot of coffee. As he's measuring coffee grounds into the filter, he hears Shane come in the back door.
"Mornin', Jay." Shane walks over to sit at the bar. "What time are they premiering the video today?" Grabbing an apple from the bowl in the middle of the counter, Shane takes a bite.
"They're gonna premiere it this afternoon on MTV's website. They're gonna do it live at 5 pm Eastern, which means it will be 2 pm here. Keep it down, would ya'? I don't want Angela to hear you." Jordan fills the coffee pot with water.
Giving Jordan a strange look, Shane says, "What? Why does it matter if Angela hears me? You told her about the video, didn't you?"
"Of course I told her. I'm just not sure how she's going to react. I mean, you saw the shoot, right? What did it look like to you?" Turning back to Shane, Jordan leans against the counter.
"Look, Jordan. I told you this wasn't a good idea. You said it would be fine." Shane shakes his head. "You should have thought about this before we did it."
"Don't you think I know that, Shane? Hell, I didn't even do anything and I feel guilty as hell. I know she can tell something's wrong. She hasn't come out and said it, but she's wondering." Shoving both hands through his hair, Jordan sighs loudly. "I just have a really bad feeling about this. You know what it looks like. She's going to see the same thing. I may have kept my pants on, but it doesn't matter. Those fucking kisses were real and I did a whole lot of touching. She's going to flip out."
"Jordan, it was acting. Why do you feel guilty?" Shane, getting up and walking to the fridge, pulls out a bottle of water. Walking back to the bar, he takes his seat. "If that's how you feel, you need to talk to her today. Prepare her for it. Don't let her stumble across it on her own."
Jordan looks down and the floor, biting on his thumb. "I shouldn't have done it, Shane. I can't undo it now."
Jordan VO: She's gonna freak. I know she is. It doesn't matter if I tell her or not, she's going to freak. How am I supposed to look her in the eye and tell her I did nothing wrong when I feel like I did?
Both Shane and Jordan look up when they hear Angela coming down the stairs, Justin on her hip. Neither knows what to say. Angela carries Justin over to the high chair, strapping him in. "Good morning. You guys want breakfast? I can cook something." Looking from Jordan to Shane, she waits for one of them to answer.
Shane is the first to speak. "That's ok, Ang. I just had an apple, I'm good." Getting up, Shane kisses Angela's cheek and ruffles Justin's hair. "I'm going to head down to the studio. Jay, remember what I said." Shane grabs his water and opens the door to the basement, disappearing inside.
Walking over to Jordan, Angela leans in for a kiss. He quickly kisses her lips before pulling back. Standing in front of him, she puts her hands on her hips. "Jordan, what's wrong? Why've you been acting like this? Did I do something?"
Looking up at her, he says, "No. You didn't do anything." He turns from her, reaching in the cabinet for a cup. "You want some coffee?"
"No, I don't. I want you to talk to me." Growling in frustration, she moves over to the pantry grabbing a jar of baby food for Justin. "I'm tired of getting the silent treatment."
After pouring himself a cup of coffee, Jordan walks toward the basement door, not saying a word to her. She steps in front of him. "What? You should just tell me. I'm not going to let it go."
"Babe, I've just got a lot going own. The album comes out in 3 weeks, and we've got to finish up a few things. The video is premiering this afternoon online. I'm a little nervous about it. It's not like any of our other videos. I'm worried about what people will think." Leaning down, he kisses her on the cheek. "I'll get over it. Just give me some time, ok?" Not waiting for her to answer, he reaches around her and pulls the door open. He doesn't look at her as he steps around her and starts down the stairs, pulling the door closed behind him.
Just before two o'clock that afternoon, Jordan, Shane and Tommy were sitting in the studio, Jordan's laptop sitting in front of them. Jordan is slouched down in his chair, biting on his thumb. He hadn't said much all day, just kind of sat around, brooding. His hair was standing on end due to the many many times he'd ran his hands through it.
"Jordan, did you talk to Angela this morning?" Shane asks, looking at him.
"No." Jordan looks down at the floor.
"Why not? Man, if you're this worried about it and they haven't even shown it, then you should have talked to her." Sighing in frustration, Shane kicks Jordan's chair.
"I know, Shane. But what was I supposed to say? Nothing I say will make this better. You know her. You know how she's going to react. I should have put a stop to this before it started." Leaning over, Jordan puts his head in his hands.
"Jay, it was acting. You didn't do anything wrong." Tommy speaks up. "You told her there would be sex scenes, didn't you? What more could you have said to her?"
"Hell, I don't know. Maybe that I was kissing a very young, very sexy girl who had hardly anything on? That I was feeling all over her? Maybe I should have told her that I was so turned on by it that I thought about going there? Do you think any of those statements would have gotten me anywhere?" Standing up, Jordan walks over and leans his head back against the wall.
"Come, Catalano. Get your shit together and come watch this." Tommy pulls Jordan's chair closer to the desk.
Jordan takes his seat, propping his elbows up and resting his chin in his hands. "I have a really bad feeling about this. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it now."
Angela had just laid Justin down for his afternoon nap. Maddie was in her room watching TV. Grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry and a soda from the refrigerator, she settled down on the sofa with her laptop on her lap. Residue's video was about to premiere and she didn't want to miss it.
She loved all of their videos. She was very proud of Jordan. She was proud of Shane and Tommy, too. Seeing their videos, watching them on the TV, or in this case, the internet, was exciting. They'd come a long way from the days of the loft.
Logging on, she types in the web address and waits for MTV to pull up. Following the link, she waits for the live feed to start. As she waiting, she opens her chips and pops the top on her soda. After taking a drink, she sits the can on the table beside her. She puts a chip in her mouth, just as the VJ starts the introduction, a photo of the guys on the screen behind him.
"Here's the moment we've all been waiting for. We're about to release the video for the first single off of Residue's long awaited third album. At one point, these guys weren't even sure there was going to be a third album. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're glad there is.
This video has already gotten a lot of attention, and it hasn't even been released for public viewing. We received it a few days ago, and let me just say, WOW. This video is HOT. It's so hot that we won't be able to air it before 9 pm on the network. If you want to see it before then, you'll have to log on and watch it here on the website.
They hired acclaimed director Bart Cubbins to script and direct this visual masterpiece. Cubbins, known for pushing the envelope, has really outdone himself with this one. The guys in the band all have active parts, so pay attention.
We have to warn you, there is some violence and a whole lot of sex. So without further delay, here is Residue's new video, Hurricane."
Angela watches as the opening credits of the video roll across the screen. Not really knowing what to expect, she munches on her chips and watches as the scenes unfold. Tommy in the subway, Shane on his bike, Jordan laying in bed.
She watches as a blonde Jordan jumps out the window and as Tommy kisses a girl and then pulls a key from his mouth. Then she watches as Shane wrecks his bike and a girl gets up from the street, stabbing him before slipping a key around his neck.
As she's watching, they show a girl with long dark hair on her knees. Jordan comes into the shot, putting a leather blindfold over her eyes. As this scene starts to unfold, all Angela can do is stare. For the next few minutes, she pays attention to nothing but the scenes with Jordan and this girl. She sees the two girls together, and the blonde twins, and everything else, but she really watches the scenes with Jordan.
All she can see is her husband touching this girl, running his hands over her. She sees him kissing her and licking her, squeezing her. She watches as he spanks her then as he moves over the top of her. She watches as he takes her mouth in his and kisses her. She watches his face.
She keeps telling herself that it's acting, but it doesn't look like acting to her. It looks very real. As the video ends, Angela closes the laptop, slowly laying it on the coffee table in front of her. She feels sick to her stomach. Knowing what she saw, trying to tell herself to calm down, that it was all fake, she gets up from the sofa and walks over to look out the window toward the forest.
Angela VO: He told me about this, didn't he? I knew he was shooting those scenes. It all looked so real. I need to talk to him, to see his face. I need for him to tell me it was all an act. Then I'll be ok.
She hears the door to the basement open. Tommy walks out, followed by Shane. They both give her a questioning look. Something on her face must have shown what she was feeling because Shane walks up to her, taking her hands.
"Angela, you watched it, didn't you?" Looking at her, seeing the tears form in her eyes, he says to her, "Ang, it was just acting. Don't do this."
"Shane, if that was acting, then he's been acting with me for a lot of years." She pulls one hand loose and wipes her eyes.
Tommy walks over to stand beside Shane and Angela. "Angela, just talk to him. He's sitting down there, kicking himself over this."
"Tommy, I plan to talk to him. I just need a minute to compose myself." Turning back toward the window, Angela pulls her other hand from Shane, wrapping her arms around herself.
"Ang, I promise you, no matter what it looked like, he didn't do anything with that girl. We were there the whole time." Tommy puts his hand on her arm. "Don't beat him up too bad over this, he's done enough of that for both of you."
When she turns to look at Tommy, there are tears steaming down her face. "Tommy, it looked so real. All of it. The whole video was amazing. You guys did a wonderful job." Sniffling, she continues. "I saw the look on his face. I saw how he touched her, I saw how he kissed her. In my head I keep telling myself he was acting, he was doing it for the camera. I just can't convince myself that it was all an act. He looked at her the way he looks at me. Or the way he used to look at me."
Shane says to her, "Angela, he was acting. He was only doing what the director told him to. We watched them do take after take of that shit. They made him do it over and over again. They kept telling him that he wasn't doing it right, that it wasn't convincing enough. He hated it."
"I didn't look like he hated it. It looked like he was enjoying it." Staring at Shane and Tommy, her husband's two best friends, listening to them defend him, she laughs. "Of course you guys would defend him. Why wouldn't you?"
"Angela, we're defending him because he didn't do anything wrong. Since the day he filmed that, he's been moody as hell, moping around all the time. He hates himself for it. By the time he gave them the footage they wanted, he felt like he had betrayed you. That's why he's been acting the way he has."
"I had no idea what was going on. It never occurred to me that it had anything to do with the video. I thought he just had a lot on his mind." Using her sleeve, Angela wipes her eyes again.
Shane pulls her into a hug. "Angela, you guys are like family to me. I hate to see you hurting like this. Both of you are miserable right now. I know how it looked, but think of it from his perspective. Since he got with you, he hasn't even looked at another woman. All he did was kiss her and touch her because that's what the script called for and he feels like he cheated on you."
"Trust us, Ang. If you feel like shit, he feels worse. He loves you. He would never cheat on you." Tommy stands there with his arms crossed, as he watches her cry. "If he had wanted to cheat on you, he's had many chances over the years. He's always had girls throwing themselves at him, but he's never given them a second thought."
None of them notice that Jordan had come upstairs. He'd been standing on the top step, listening to his friends defend him, listening to Angela doubt him. "Guys, I appreciate you defending me, but I need to talk to my wife alone."
Shane hugs Angela and then Tommy hugs her, before letting themselves out the back door. Angela and Jordan stand staring at each other from across the room.
Ok, so tell me...for those of you who're reading both of my stories, which one do you want me to spend more time on? I plan to continue to update both stories, but if I continue to update as frequently as I have, I can only concentrate on one of them. If ever there is a time to review, now would be that time. Thanks... ~gagirl29