iHave Daddy Issues

It was obviously a rough night at Casa de Benson. Freddie loved his wife, although he worried about her on nights like this, when she got into one of her moods. He had come home – to the home Melanie had previously shared with Carly and Sam – to find his beautiful blonde pacing the living room and front hallway, ranting and raving into her cell phone. It was the first time that Melanie had spoken to Pam in months. It was clear that Melanie was beyond upset.

"Goddammit, Mother… I think I have the right to know!"

Melanie Benson had always been Pam's 'Good Girl', so she felt – after more than twenty years – entitled to a straight answer.

The answers that Pam would give her were cryptic at best, abusive at worst, and the weight of her mother's words crushed her soul. She was sobbing and hyperventilating.

"I… I… I need to… I need to go…"

Melanie ended the call. Her hands were trembling and she had come unglued. There was only one other person who could provide her any answers or peace. She ran down the hall and had locked herself in the converted bedroom that served as her home studio and had formerly been the home away from home to iCarly.

Melanie threw herself into one of the beanbags on the floor, snatching her favorite guitar from the stand, and pulling it to her chest, the way she typically held Freddie late at night.

With her free hand, she withdrew her cell phone from her pocket and dialed a familiar phone number. It was all she could think to do.

"Ted… It's… it's Melanie… C.. Can.. Can we talk?"

Ted Franklin was more than happy to oblige. He loved this girl like one of his own. Had things been different, she would have been his own. She had question after question about ancient history. His role was to confirm or deny the awful things that Pam Puckett had just told her.

Ted Franklin, as a man of the cloth, was unable to provide many of the answers that his would-be stepdaughter craved so desperately, but he gave her all the details that he could, as well as those that he felt she could handle. There was no need burdening her with the whole truth, such as it was, as he felt it was important that she have something positive to hold onto from the father that she never knew.

The young man who had fathered the Puckett twins, Ted had explained, had been a complete contradiction in terms. He was immensely talented, but also deeply troubled. He had come from a family equally fractured, though they taught him the value of faith. He, like Pam Puckett and Steven Shay, was tormented by his own demons. He had met Pam during one of the many periods when his own marriage was 'off', using his words.

Melanie was disturbed to hear that she and her sister, whom she loved beyond words, were the product of this man's extramarital dalliance. She asked the kind man on the other end of the line more probing questions. She needed to know what he knew, although she knew full well that his oath to God prevented him from revealing them.

"Princess…" Franklin began, "You know there are things that I can't say… and beside that, isn't the more important fact that you're here?"

Melanie considered this point for a long moment, agreed that Franklin was right, and let the matter drop. She had one final question. She knew that this was one that Ted could answer; given the way she'd phrased it. She needed a simple answer and nothing more.

"Do you know where I could find him?"

Franklin wasn't stupid. He knew what he was being asked, one way or the other. He was asked one question, but decided to answer another. He considered this girl one of his own children. He didn't want to cause her any pain. He dispatched this as deftly as he could. It broke his heart to have to tell her.

"He… he's since passed on."

As much as this news was a knife in her chest, it was also something of a relief. All those years of not knowing – of thinking her father didn't love her enough to come around – it was a strange relief to know that he wasn't around simply because he couldn't be.

"Oh, Honey…?"

Ted Franklin hadn't called her Honey in ages.

"Yes?"

He told her all he was comfortable saying. He had never given her the man's name, nor would he, but he felt that she needed to know this much.

"He was an immensely talented musician… You got that much from him, I think…"

Ted Franklin always knew exactly how to lift her spirits. She apologized for the right state that she was in, thanked him, and bade him a good evening. What happened next surprised even her. For the first time since she was a tiny little girl, Melanie told Ted Franklin that she loved him. The words had simply slipped out, but she meant them from the innermost depths of her soul.

She ended the call and picked up her guitar. The Puckett girls had never been good with their emotions. Sam simply shut her's down. Melanie's outlet had always been the music that came to her from she didn't know where. At least now she could thank the father who hadn't truly abandoned her. She felt as though she had labored under a delusion for her entire life. She didn't know what she felt. She was depressed and at peace all in the same moment. Her fingers found the strings and an old song came to her, as if out of a dream. She hadn't heard it in years. She had never played it, but she was always gifted with a savant-like ability to play a piece of music by ear. She wondered for a moment if her father could do that as well. It was too much, and she began to sob. She didn't care. She let the churning sea of emotions wash over her. They needed an outlet, and she simply did what she did best.

"…What else should I be?..."
"…All apologies…"
"…What else could I say?.."
"…Everyone is gay…"
"…What else could I write?..."
"…I don't have the right…"
"…What else should I be?..."
"…All Apologies…"

"…In the sun…"
"…In the sun I feel as one…"
"…In the sun…"
"…In the sun…"
"…Married!..."
"…Buried!..."

"…I wish I was like you…"
"…Easily amused…"
"…Find my nest of salt…"
"…Everything is my fault…"
"…I'll take all the blame…"
"…aqua sea foam shame…"

Melanie felt spent – physically, mentally, and emotionally. She knew that she had bitten off far more than she could possibly chew, and that both Ted Franklin and her mother had tried to spare her this, yet she had insisted. For the first time since Melanie could remember, Pam had behaved truly like an adult and had put one of her girls before herself.

The blonde, an emotionally destroyed mess, summoned all of her strength to leave her guitar behind, safe on display, cross the room, unlock the door, and make her way to bed. She needed the warmth and safety that Freddie provided. Despite what she felt tonight, she knew that everything she had learned tonight could be dealt with at another time. There would always be tomorrow.