How to Respect Aizen Sousuke
Section Three: Speech Regulations
Nnoitra, you are hereby forbidden to mention the name "Nelliel Tu Oderschwank" in ANY CONTEXT. Szayel NEEDED that lab.
You are all to address me as "Aizen-sama," even you Soul Reapers. Not "Aizen-teme," not "Bitch-Curl-san," not "The Godfather…"
Actually, that last one is okay.
I swear to myself, Nnoitra, if I hear one more double entendre about you and Nelliel doing… things… I will personally open a garganta and drop you right in the middle of the twelfth division's labs.
Grimmjow, use proper grammar or don't speak.
Szayel, stop making the translation of all Spanish terms we use perverted. You know that's not what it really means.
The word "smarticals" is hereby banned. If you were really that smart, you'd know that it wasn't a word.
Halibel, you must actually use your mouth to communicate occasionally, not just gestures. We don't need another misunderstanding like the one last week. Tousen still refuses to come out of that broom closet.
Grimmjow, just don't speak.
Speak in coherent sentences. If you speak as though you're half asleep, we can't understand you. Yes, Starrk, I'm talking to you.
Akane, if I hear the words "Ulquihime," "AiIchi," "AiGin," "GrimmIchi," "NnoiNel," or "GrimmSoi" from you one more time, then you will grounded from tea. You have been warned.
If I even think I'm hearing a description of any of the above pairings, Akane, you will be punished.
That does not mean what it sounded like.
The phrases "Ya mad, bro?" and "Ya mad, bra?" are hereby banned. If someone is mad, you do not need to further provoke them by saying those phrases.
Orihime. SHUT. THE. HELL. UP.
Ulquiorra, control your girlfriend.
I'm sorry, I mean, your prisoner. **
Szayel, Vasto Lordes are not level three Akuma. Stop telling everybody that.
Szayel. Hollows are not Akuma, period.
"Charlie the Unicorn" and "Llamas with Hats" recitations are hereby prohibited. That means you, Kikane.
Tsukiyo, while I agree that that is a nice song, STOP. It got old last month.
Aaroniero Aruruerie, you are hereby forbidden to speak unless shapeshifted. Your voice is too annoying.
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A/N: Have any of you read -Man? There are a lot of parallels between it and Bleach. Anti-Akuma weapons, for instance, are like Zanpakuto in the way that they have a will of their own (to an extent) and have different forms. Crowned Clown is like Allen's Bankai. Akuma remind me of Hollows, how they evolve as they kill, and in Japan, it's like Hueco Mundo, how they eat each other as well as humans, and how as they evolve, they become more intelligent. Also, I think Allen is a lot like Edward Elric from FMA. Just his attitude.
Komui Lee makes me think of Urahara. :)