As the clock in the kitchen hit 4:15, Red's brow creased. He told that boy to be home before dark and the sun will be setting in two hours! And the supper he was currently cooking was going to grow below a warm tempeture before Zim got home.
"Purple! Purple!" He started towards the living room.
"What?" The other ruler asked through his pipe.
"Go find Zim and bring him home..."
"No way, I'm busy being lazy!" he squaked.
"Purple, who can make your life more miserable? A thousand malfunctioning SIR units, or me?" Red norrowed his heavily-eyshadowed eyes.
"I'll be back in a minute, Dearest." He said putting on a hat and leaving the house in a voot-cruiser disguised as a crappy cadillac. No, I don't know where he got it either.
Zim was busy on his nineth round of shooting rabid freaks with Gaz at the arcade. Yep, best day ever.
"I have to admit, for a alien with ADD, you're not all that uncool." Gaz confessed, " I never got to the 20th level on my own."
"Yes, yes... Zim forgives you. You are just a human." He smiled shooting siamese midgets (no offense to any who are reading this, this is a real game)
"You're losing my cool opinion, Zim." But he didn't hear. He had jumped onto the neigboring pinball machine.
"I, Zim, am the defintion of all that is cool, awesome, boss, and groooovy!" He shouted with his fists in the air. Gaz rolled her eyes, but for a strange reason known only to the cosmos, she liked him better as a spaz.
"ZIM!" A shrill voice shouted, and it sounded pisssed.
"Oh crap..."
"What did RedMamma tell you? Huh? And Nobody's allowed to eat till everybody is at the table, and I'm starving!" Purple stomped forward causing kids in the arcade to watch and bask in Zim's humiliation.
"Uh, Gaz-human, this is just a misunderstanding..." He tried to explain while she raised an eyebrow.
"And were you playing video games this whole time?" Purple grabbed Zim's atennai through his wig. , ' Well I lost her at the words "video game" Zim thought.
"How may times do I have to tell you to not spend your allowance on stupid things!"
"But you never gave me one before..." Zim tried to explain. It's been over an hour since they had to study human culture and if they were still acting weird they might never return to normal.
"Silence! You too, writer-person, or I'll call your mother! Get your butt in that voot-cruiser, Son." Gaz now had her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.
"Bye, Gaz... It was fun but Zim has to crawl in a hole and die from embarrasment now." Zim said now a dark green.
"So you're Gaz? Well you better go home too, or I'll call your authoritive figure!" Purple said dragging Zim out the door. " It was a pleasure to meet you." Everyone heard Zim continued to be scolded until they left.
"Man, I hate when parents do that." said the kid who cries too much before crying because his mom was showing his baby pictures to the arcade attendant.
Back at the glowing green household, an event was about to take place. Something that never happened before. Family dinner. Red had let Gir out and he was setting the table... coffee table, bathroom, and even mannaged to get silverware in the light fixtures.
"Honey, we're home! Now can I eat?" Purple asked hanging his hat.
"Yeah, yeah... but wash behind your ears...or attenaes...whatever, first." He dismissed the two aliens walking in.
"Why?" Zim looked puzzled.
"How should I know why, Zim? maybe it makes the food taste better, or maybe they're dirty."
Poor poor Zim. I can stop this indignity if I want. But it's too fun. So here we are, at the kitchen table with Zim, Gir, Red and Purple wishing we had this on video so we could post it on youtube.
"What is this?" Zim asked sniffing his plate.
"Tofu meat-loaf. It's good for you." Red replied as Gir inhaled the plate infront of him. ," See, your brother-dog-robot likes it."
"But Gir eats hair..." Zim said in disgust.
"That's enough out of you, young man... Do you want to be grounded?" Red hissed pointing a fork into Zim's chest.
"Speaking of punishment, you're going to mow the yard, take Gir on his walks, clean up the toxic waste in the lab, and wash the dishes till you pay back that $3 you spent at the arcade." Purple said through his mouthfull.
"Whatever... Gaz is never going to talk to me again uless it's to laugh at me or beat me up." He said staring at his plate mournfully.
"Aww... she sounds sweet." Red smiled as Purple nodded.
"She is... oh so sweet is Gaz-human..." Zim started to drool before shaking himself out of it. ,"But I'll never earn her respect and obeidiance now thanks to HIM!" Zim yelled pointing at Purple.
"Don't worry, Zim. I've ruled by Purple for decades now and if I learned anything it's that you can always idiot-proof things." Red tried to comfort... which is OOC for him I know.
"So how do I get her to like me again? It took years of torturing Dib-beast just to get her to look at me!"
"Well, from the oppinion of a strong female that demands everyone's fear and respect.." Red started.
"But you're a guy"
"Shudyup! Anyways, like I was saying, try giving her an offering of your allegiance to her. That's always a winner." Red said taking a bite out of the dinner he made only to spit it back out. ,"Ugh, tastes like burnt hair!"
A/N: I know it says finished, and it is…on deviantArt. I'm trying to post the chapters revised and edited here.