Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

XOXOXOXOXO

Author's Note: Oh god, it has been FOREVER since I've done anything for Bleach, art or fiction!

RenjixRukia is still my OTP, that hasn't changed one bit. Ichigo has Orihime.

I'm thinking of completely redoing my older story for the couple, but I'll have to see. For now, I'm doing some warm-up oneshots for them instead.

Bleach and all associated characters are © to Kubo Tite, of course.

All I own is this fic.

Rated Mature for some inappropriate touching and Renji's dirty mouth.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Oi, Rukia!" Renji said, trying his best to keep up with the petite, raven-haired girl. "Why are you so mad? What'd I do?"

"Don't play dumb, Renji!" Rukia snapped, arms folded. "I saw you!"

"Saw me do what?" Renji said, frustrated. "You're pissed, but you won't tell me what you're pissed off about?"

"Orihime, Renji?" Rukia said, spinning around to face him. "Seriously?"

"What about her?" Renji shot back, about ready to rip out his hair. "What is your problem, woman!"

"I saw you staring at their breasts," Rukia said, finally. "I guess that's just like a man. A typical, perverted man! Orihime, Rangiku and Yoruichi out there splashing around in their bikinis... I should have known you would stare at them like that."

Renji paused, his face flushing red.

Shit, she saw, he thought, mentally kicking himself. It's not like it meant anything, though. I'm a man! I have eyes! Can't I look sometimes?

"Aw, come on!" Renji said, trying to appeal to her. "I know you're mad, but they were right in my face. They shouldn't be wearing those string bikinis anyway! I'm surprised Ichigo let his wife walk around like that..."

"Don't try and shift the blame, Renji," Rukia cut in, rolling her violet eyes. "How am I supposed to compete with that? I always figured you were a breast man," she added accusingly.

Rukia turned away and stomped towards her beach blanket. She sat down, pointedly looking away from her husband. Renji rubbed his head in exasperation, trying to find a way to calm the irate girl down. Sometimes Rukia could be so sensitive, and over the silliest things.

"Rukia," Renji said, sitting behind her and wrapping his arms around her small waist. "It didn't mean anything, seriously. You know that, right?"

"Why did you stare, then?" Rukia said, cutting her eyes at him. "I expected Ichigo to stare, that fool. He's always been a little pervert. Plus, he's still in his youth," she added with a roll of her eyes. "But you've seen a lot more. Yet you were right there, sitting in the middle of the ocean with your mouth wide open. A seagull could have laid its nest in your mouth!"

Renji made sure to choose his words carefully. Obviously, getting angry right back at her wasn't going to get him anywhere anytime soon.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but... I'm a man," Renji said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "A real man. And real men look! It doesn't mean I like them or anything. I already have everything I need."

Rukia remained silent for a few seconds. For a moment, Renji hoped that she would finally let the issue drop.

"... but not everything you want, right?"

Renji groaned loudly and flopped backwards onto their towel. "The hell, Rukia? Why is this even a big deal? I married you, remember? You're my bestfriend, my lover and my wife. I'm not going to throw all of that away over some broads in bikinis."

"Because I can never look like... like that," Rukia said, motioning towards the three girls in question. Orihime was bouncing over to Ichigo, who had brought them both icecream cones. "Face it, Renji. I don't look much different from when I was a child! I have no curves whatsoever."

"So what?" Renji said. "Big tits are overrated."

"Sure they are," Rukia said sarcastically. "That's why you were staring at them so hard, right?"

Rukia plucked at her own, ivory bikini. It was sexy enough, but because of her flat chest it didn't seem to flatter her well. Renji had suggested she wear it when they agreed to hang out at the beach with their friends, claiming she looked sexy in white. She had believed him, encouraged by his words. But, after catching him ogling some of the bustier women... she felt a little insecure.

Not like I'll tell him that, Rukia thought.

"Renji?"

"Hm?" Renji grunted.

"Would you like me better if I had a bigger bust?" Rukia asked, barely above a whisper. Okay, she couldn't help it. She just had to know. "I mean, would you be more attracted to me?"

Renji grew silent. He glanced over at the small woman, looking her over carefully. He had never really given something like that much thought. Sure, he teased her about it from time to time, but he had no idea it really affected her.

"No," Renji growled. "Idiot."

"Why not?" Rukia shot back. "I saw-"

"You saw me staring at some girls," Renji cut in. "So what? Big fucking deal! It's not like I flirted or even touched them! I don't want you to change, you hear me? I love you for you, flat chest and all. I don't want you to change, especially for something as stupid as that."

"D-Dummy," Rukia said, fidgeting a bit. "Don't try and flatter me."

"I'm not bullshitting you!" Renji protested. "Look, those other girls have got nothing on my wife. You're strong, independent... pretty bitchy," he smirked when she shot a glare at him. "But you're smart, brave, and a sweetheart when you want to be," he grinned when hints of a smile showed on Rukia's face. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Rukia nuzzled under his chin, smiling. "Dammit. You're making me go soft."

Renji gave her a squeeze. "I could say the same to you, you know."

Orihime came running over, wearing Ichigo's light jacket. "Hey, guys! It's about time to start heading back. You ready?"

"Yeah, we're ready," Rukia said, helping up her tattooed companion. "Let's go, you big lug."

As soon as Orihime turned around, Renji reached in front of Rukia and gave an appreciative squeeze to both of her breasts. She blushed and immediately went to slap him, but he quickly put distance between them.

"Renji, you ass!" Rukia screamed. "What if someone saw that!"

"No one did!" Renji laughed, running away from his fuming mate.

"What was that all about?" Ishida asked, adjusting his glasses as he watched the couple run along the beach.

"I have no idea," Ichigo said, laughing at their baffling behavior. Over the years, he had gotten used to the two shinigamis. "Love does crazy things to people."

XOXOXOXOXO

Author's Note: Dang, this was a bit shorter than I thought it would be. Ah well, that's why I called it a warm-up!

It's been SO LONG since I've kept track of Bleach, seriously. The farthest I got last time was that "Rescue Rukia" arc, and then got confused and bored with the sudden introduction of Arrancars and vampires, or something. Now I'm strictly reading the manga, which is a lot easier to follow. Hopefully I'll be all caught up sometime soon.

Thanks for reading! I promise to get out a better RenRuki fic sometime soon.