A/N: I was going to post each chapter slowly, but what the hell, here's the rest of 'em... vodka's fun
Gaz woke slowly, grasping on to the dream she had. A wonderful dream. It seemed strange how warm and comfortable she felt. Every since she's moved She felt cold and nervous. Perhaps it was that thing Dib said about stress and attracting hostile energy. She sighed wishing sh could go back to her dream. The scent of bacon filled her senses as a weight sat next to her on the bed.
"Breakfast in bed for my lovely bride... I bet Dib never did this for you." Zim's voice sang, fully waking Gaz to see she had not dreamed dream the entire experience.
"... did we just..." Gaz didn't know how to phrase her question.
"Do the nasty?... Yes." Zim replied smiling dumbly. Gaz's glare burned through him, but she did not lash out.
"Dib's going to kill me..." She groan and put her face in her hands.
"Zim will not allow the Dib-stink near my kika. Lest I should bannish him to a room with a moose!" He shouted valiantly as he massaged Gaz's shoulder's. " I will vanquish all your foes, to set you free from their stupidity..."
"Hmff... all you need is white horse and sword. Then you'd really look like some knight trying to save the damsel." Gaz shook her head.
Zim smiled,"Respect me, Lady Gaz, as I will ride forth in to the stars, battling for the right to see the moon's light on your face, then defeat the dragon for your trophy."
"Where in hell do you get this crap?" She laughed.
"Sometimes I watch TV with Gir..." he smirked.
"I guess letting you two watch HBO after dark is going to be dangerous to civilization... seriously, Zim, we should head back to Earth to fight those dragons now." Gaz said a little morose.
"Does this mean you'll stay with me?"
"I guess... though I don't know where WE'RE going to stay after we talk to Dib and Tak." She sighed, dreading what comes next.
Dib paced trying to figure how to save Gaz. "There's no way you can track him?"
"No, I gave up all my technology except Mimi when I decided to stay." Tak replied muffly while she bit her nails., "Maybe the police?"
"And say what? An idiotic alien has kidnapped my baby sister so he could marry her?" Dib pulled at his hair, frustrated. Why? Why did he want his sister. Was it because he knew she was all the family he had left? both their toughts was distracted on a knock at the door., "Maybe that's them..."
There hearts dropped as they saw the Tallests at the door.
"We're here to collect Zim."Purple smiled, unusually cheerful.
"He's not here at the moment..." Tak hissed. She didn't notic the small robot behind her.
"MASTER GOT HITCHED! AND THEY WENT ON A HONEYMOON WHERE THEY DO THE HBO THING AND KISS AND FIGHT ABOUT BILLS AND IF HER HIPS LOOK FAT...they won't cuz she's a crazy bitch having PMS." Gir jabbered making Dib and Tak wince.
"What? He was supposed to wait till we got the flowers!" Red sniffed, in disdain.
"You KNEW!" Tak charged toward them, But Dib stopped her.
"Think of the baby,Tak. The stress ins't good for it." He whispered.
"Baby?" Purple said puzzled., "You're reproducing, Tak?"
"Yeah, so? I don't care about those irken rules with the programing..."
"Hey, don't get so snippy. We're not telling you not to." Red said stepping back from her.
"In fact I think it's wonderful. An Irken has not given birth in 200 years, it's so exciting." Purpled smiled in anticipation.
"Yeah it's exciting, but no one knows what to excpect,I suppose. Like how long does the pregnancy take?" Dib asked as Tak looked at him telling him not to ask anything from them.
"That's easy. Tak how many human months and devide it with irken months... Uh, three month's are the full irken months." Red explained like it was nothing.
"How do you know?" Tak asked skeptically as the rulers invited themselves in.
"Irk didn't have our cloning technology forever..." Red rolled his eyes as if everyone knew what they knew.
"Me and Red weren't cloned..." Purple nodded.
"Tell me what you know about Gaz." gorwled Dib, interrupting a moment.
"Zim really likes her, that's why we came here. To help him get married and leave us alone. Let me guess, he never told the bride yet, huh?" Red laughed.
"NO!" Tak yelled frustrated.
"Pay up, Red." Purple laughed winning a bet for the first time. (A/N: I haven't been keeping track of their bets...)
Red fumbled with his purse not noticing all the attention went to the door as Gaz entered with Zim behind her. She never looked so nervous. In fact it was a first time they had seen her without the expressionless scowl.
"You're so dead Zim!" Dib gritted his teeth.
"Dib..." Gaz started.
"Go wait upstairs, Gaz." Tak muttered, never taking her eyes of Zim.
"I SAID GO!" She yelled pulling her inside. as soon she was sure Gaz was upstairs she led the tallest's to the kitchen for snacks.
"What's the matter with you, Zim?" Dib grabbed him by his shirt, slamming against a wall., "You couldn't take over Earth? You just had to find some way to make our lives miserable? We moved and you weren't done breaking everything for me, huh?
Zim went down as Dib punched him in the non-existant nose. As he trid to get up Dib kicked him in the ribs, leaving him to struggle to breath. Before he could kick him again, Zim grabbed his foot and pulled him under.
"Believe it or not, Dib-shit.." Zim growled, puching him in the stomach., "Not everything I do is an evil plan to fight you and take over Earth."
Tak returned with a water-gun she and Dib prepared for him. Filled with ice-cold water and bar-b-que sauce it was certain to hurt. After helping Dib to his feet she fired.
Zim stumbled back in surprise. But to their horror, he only smiled.
"Why isn't the water burning him? Dib stared, almost astonished.
Zim laughed, darkly., "I think I get it... All this time, the years and the pain, I grew immune. Like that old movie Gir watched, I grew immune to your germs and I got stronger... I did have a cold... but it was to my advantage."
"Big freaking deal, Zim, I knew that my first day on Earth." Tak crossed her arms.
"... What are you going to do now, Dib?" Zim challenged, knowing all Dib's tricks went down the drain.
A/N: Ugh...why does my mind taste like bacon? Send reviews if you think me being drunk is a bad, yet amusing idea... *looks at moose* Who the hell are you?