Sorry for the delay, I broke my elbow recently and typing has been tough. I'm trying to get back in my groove and get things posted as soon as I can.
N-Joy!
(CHAPTER 7) BACK STAGE
Azusa held Tama in her arms as she walked with the rest of the band through the back halls of the arena towards their dressing room. Through the brick walls, the sounds of the crowd could still be heard as people continued to cheer and whistle while the concerts soft outro music played for the audience while they left. The band was escorted by a group of security guards past arena crew members. Azusa always felt that to be a comfort after a show. She knew that she was safe but in the back of her mind, she had a pent up fear of running into her ex husband. She shook her head as she ignored the though.
"Hell yeah!" Phantom called out, "Another great show!" "Alexx, language!" Azusa said as she motioned towards Tama. Phantom bit his lip and quieted himself down. "Sorry Angel, that show just got me really pumped up." "I know! Pittsburgh is always amazing." Ghost said as he shook his hand out after a long night of playing his bass. He then looked at Azusa and said, "Hey, your bass player friend; is she going to see us again before we leave?" She didn't answer right away, she couldn't focus at the moment. "Hey Angel, you okay?" Ghost asked. Azusa quickly shook her trance and nodded and said, "Huh? Sorry Luke, I was spacing out. But yeah, Mio wants to do an interview with us for her magazine when we get back in the dressing room." "Sounds good!" Luke said.
Azusa raised an eyebrow and said, "Please don't flirt while she's trying to do her job. Mio's really sensitive, I don't want her to mess up on her article because you made her nervous." Luke then added, "I'll be good, I promise; and besides, I have someone to talk bass with now."
Kurt walked and rapidly spun his drum sticks in his fingers. He looked down at himself through his chin length, wavy brown hair and said with a groan, "I don't care if we're getting interviewed, I want a shower before we do anything." "Ditto." Tyler called out.
The band was led into their dressing room and the security guards left. Kurt held out his drum sticks to Tama and said, "Want a set of sticks, Kiddo?" Tama's face lit up. She already had several pairs of Wraith's drum sticks at home but she still got excited every time he gave her new ones. They always looked far from new, Wraith's sticks; much like every drummer's, were always chipped and covered with dents after a show from the constant hits to his drum kit. It didn't matter to Tama though, she treasured them all the same.
"Thanks Kurt!" Tama chirped happily. "No problem, Kiddo." Wraith said back. He then turned and said, "Alright, I'm soaked to the bone with sweat, I'm hittin' the shower." "Yeah, me too." Banshee called out. As the guy's headed to the showers, Azusa sat Tama down on the rooms large leather sofa and said, "Here, watch TV while Mommy get's cleaned up." Tama nodded, "Okay." Azusa then turned on the TV and put on a cartoon channel. "You're in luck!" Azusa said happily, "Spongebob is on!" Tama's eyes lit up and like magic she was glued to the screen. Azusa smiled and said, "Call if you need me." "Okay!" She chirped back.
Azusa then went to her suitcase and pulled out a set of clean clothes and her small bathroom bag. She then grabbed one of the towels that the arena had provided and headed into the showers. Inside, she saw the rest of the band member's undressing. She didn't care. They usually had to do this at every show when there was limited shower space and they were on a tight time table. She simply averted her eyes and went behind a separate curtain and stripped from her sequin covered, white and silver outfit. She then neatly hung it up on a hanger and examined her new stage costume.
Now that she actually had time to stop and look it over, she found it to be quite pretty. The top form fitting corset was patterned with an ornate, chrome silver, jagged design that streaked it's way down the laced seam while the color reflective sequins ran along the edges. The same pattern also complimented the detached sleeves. She also admired the pleated, sequin encrusted mini skirt with jagged cuts of transparent fabric that spiked out from the waist.
She quickly unbuckled her strapped boots, and slipped off her chrome silver thigh high stockings and neatly placed them with the rest of her outfit. Finally stripping from her bra and panties, she quickly folded them and wrapped a towel around her slender body. Before she headed to the shower's she quickly untied her hair ribbons and undid her twin tails letting her now hip length, raven black hair flow around her body.
She stepped out from behind the curtain and walked over to the shower, ignoring the fact that half of the band wasn't dressed around her. She didn't care; none of them ever made a fuss over it. To them, it was all part of the job, you work together on stage and freshen up afterwards. As she walked past the others while holding onto her towel and bathroom bag, Phantom said, "Hey Angel, is everything alright?" Azusa stopped and paused, "What do you mean?" She asked. "He then continued, "We were all just wondering; I mean, you've been kinda on edge lately. We just wanted to make sure that…," Azusa cut him off and said sharply, "I'm fine! I'm just tired after the show is all."
She then walked into her own shower stall and quickly undid her towel and hung it up where it wouldn't get wet. She then turned on the water and quickly put her long hair under the warm spray of water. "Angel?" She again heard Phantom say from the other side of the curtain, "I'm sorry if I said something wrong. We're just making sure you're alright." Azusa sighed openly and said, "I told you guy's, I'm fine."
She then heard Tyler say calmly, "We don't mean to but in; but we know that you act different like this when you're worrying about…, you know, him." Tyler heard no reply, only the sound of water coming from inside the shower stall. Azusa would never openly admit it, but she had been scared for her and Tama's safety lately. The thought of knowing of just how easily she could be tracked by simply looking at tour dates on the bands website, for all she knew, her ex husband could have been at every show they've been doing. She knew how he was. He was sly, and sneaky. It was hard enough getting herself and Tama to America without having him trying to stop her and take Tama away.
As much as she had been pushing the thought back, and as much as she was trying to ignore it, she had been scared about the chance of seeing him again. She felt her lip tremble and she felt her legs slowly give out. She couldn't hold it back, all the pent up fear that she was trying so desperately to hide for Tama's sake was finally getting to her. She felt herself falling to her knees while the water from the shower poured over her like heavy rain. She then felt her own tears mixing with the water that was already streaming down her face as she let out a muffled sob.
"…Dammit." Tyler uttered out. He and the other's quickly covered themselves up with their towels and Tyler opened the curtain of Azusa's shower. The band saw her sitting down on her knees and hunched over with her back towards them while her long, wet, raven black hair draped over her. "Azusa…" Tyler said softly. He slowly approached her and turned the shower water off and knelt down next to her. Azusa didn't care that she wasn't wearing anything, she just wanted the comfort of knowing that she was safe. She quickly turned and wrapped her arms around Tyler's neck and cried.
Tyler wrapped his arms around her and said, "It's alright…, you know that he can't get anywhere near you or Tama with us around." Through her sobs, Azusa said back shakily, "I-I'm so scared, Tyler, I've always been scared." "I know you have." Tyler told her calmly, "We all know; but you know that he can't hurt you or Tama ever again." Azusa seemed to cry harder at the words. She felt so helpless and vulnerable. She continued with her voice still trembling, "I'm always afraid that he'll take Tama from me. Everyone already thinks I'm a bad mother, I don't want them to be right."
Phantom then spoke up, "You know that's not true, Angel! I've never seen a more devoted parent before I met you. I've never once seen Tama upset when she's with you. You're a damn good mother and you know it!" Wraith then added, "Yeah! Screw those bitches who say those things about you, you know it's not true." Banshee then added, "Their jealous!"
Azusa kept her head buried in Tyler's chest as she tried to calm herself down. Luke then walked over to Azusa and handed her a dry bath towel, "Here." He told her calmly as he put it over her back. Azusa looked up at the rest of the band with her glassy, brown eyes. She pulled her fingers into the palms of her hands and seemed to make them into paws as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Tyler smiled at her and said, "You know that as long as us, and the rest of the crew are with you, no one is getting near you." Azusa nodded and said, "Thank you guys, thank you guys so much for always watching out for me and Tama." Phantom nodded and said, "We always look out for each other, you don't have to worry about anything happening."
Tyler then helped her to her feet and said, "Why don't you finish getting cleaned up. We all had a long day and we still have an interview to do. That, and I don't think you want Tama knowing that you're upset." Azusa nodded and said, "Alright." As she leaned back and stood. She then watched as the rest of the band quickly averted their eyes. She realized that she stood and forgot to hold the front of her towel closed. She instantly blushed and quickly pulled it closed. She readied to yell out in embarrassment but then heard Tyler say, "It's alright, we didn't look."
He then pulled her curtain closed to give her some privacy and went back to getting in his own shower. Azusa sighed and then turned the water back on and finished washing herself after another long and tiring concert.
Azusa finished her shower and quickly dried herself off. She then slipped into a black, pleated miniskirt, and a Shadow band tank top. She quickly brushed her teeth and then headed back out into her separate dressing room.
Tama saw her mother had finished in the bathroom. She hopped down off of the couch and walked over to see her. She saw her mother sit down at one of the dressing tables and look at herself in the mirror. She watched as her mother sighed and seemed to have a sad look on her face. Not wanting to point anything out, Tama simply picked up her mother's hairbrush off one of the tables and gripped onto it with her tiny hand.
"Mommy?" She said quietly. Azusa quickly sat upright and tried to get the worried look off of her face. She looked at her daughter and said back as she forced a smile, "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't know you were there." Tama paused and then took a few steps inside. "Are you alright?" She asked with worry. "Yeah, I'm fine." Azusa said as she tried to hide her lie, "Mommy's just a little tired after the show."
Tama then nodded and uttered out, "Can I help you brush your hair?" Azusa smiled and said, "Sure." Tama then walked over to her mother and pulled up a small stool and hopped up onto it. She then reached her tiny hand into Azusa's still damp hair and began to brush it. Azusa simply sat quietly and tried to clear hear head. All she tried to focus on was the sound of the hairbrush running through her long locks. She then heard Tama say softly, "You have the prettiest hair ever, Mommy. I want hair just like your's when I grow up."
Azusa smiled and said back calmly, "It took me a long time to grow it this long, you'll have to be patient if you want it to be this long someday." Tama smiled and said back, "If it means that I'll get to be as pretty as you someday then I'll wait as long as it takes." Azusa felt tears returning to her eyes, not because of her fear, but because of how proud she was of her daughter. Even for her young age, Tama was already growing up to be a perfect little girl. She was polite, kind, and rarely ever threw tantrums or caused trouble.
"Come here a second." Azusa said calmly as she motioned for her daughter. Tama set her hairbrush down and walked over to her mother. Azusa then picked her up and set her on her lap and pulled her into a hug. "Mommy loves you so much, you know that?" Tama smiled and said, "Yes, and I love you too, Mommy, tons and tons!"
Hearing the words brought comfort to her. She smiled and continued, "I'm so glad that you come to show's with me, you're such a big help to everyone, and especially now since you hand me my guitars between songs. It may not seem like a big job, but it really is. Without you doing that, it slows the show down." Tama smiled and said, "It's a lot of fun, I'm glad that you let me help out with the crew."
Azusa sat silent for a moment and embraced her child, she then calmly asked, "Hey Tama-Chan, can I ask you something?" "Hmm?" Tama asked as she looked at her and her mother in the mirror in front of them. Azusa paused and then asked, "Tama-Chan, do you still think about your daddy?"
Tama froze. Her look of happiness seemed to fade and she lowered her head. She quietly uttered out, "Daddy was always yelling. He was always making me and you cry, and he hurt you real bad." Azusa sighed and said back calmly, "Yeah, he did. He did a lot of mean things to us, didn't he?" Tama simply nodded. Tama then timidly uttered out, "I still get scared when I think about him. He wasn't a nice daddy like all my friends have." Azusa's grip tightened around her daughter. She again forced herself to hold back tears. She simple replied softly, "I know. And I want you to know how sorry I am that I made you go through all of that. I'll make sure it will never happen again; and you don't have to be afraid anymore, because we have: Tyler, Alexx, Luke, Kurt, and Nick watching over us now. They won't let anyone hurt us like that ever again."
There was a pause before Tama timidly asked, "What if daddy comes back?" Azusa simply kissed Tama on her head and told her calmly, "He won't. We have good people watching over us to make sure he doesn't."
Azusa heard a light knock on the door. "Come in." She said. The door opened and Phantom walked in. He saw Azusa cradling Tama. He smiled and said, "Your friend is here for the interview." "Thanks Alexx" Azusa said. "I'll be right there." Alexx nodded and walked away as Azusa said to Tama, "Come on, let's to see Mio."