WARNING: descriptive writing! Opening flesh, straightjackets, pictures of babies and poor ELI! :/
Chapter Twenty: Picture (Eli's POV)
Ignore them. Just ignore them. The voices hate you.. They want you to suffer tremendously. They absolutely hate you. The doctors may seem like they're helping.. But they're not. They hate you also. I can trust no one besides Adam. He likes to stay in here for hours and tell me all about what had happened at Degrassi, he fancied Fiona a lot. Even if I didn't say much about what he said. I listen. I know it all. He brings up Clare also. Clare. My heart ached, it thudded against the empty ribcage. She had said this was for my own good. I needed to be alone.. I needed to be sane on my own. I can't be sane.. Unless she's here. Why can't she understand that? The only thing that can keep me from tearing at my flesh, or clawing my emeralds out is the thought of Clare, and rocking. I always have Clare on mind, first thing I think of when I wake up, last thing I think of when sleeping. It's those never ending oceans, that I see. Her laughter, the way her face scrunches up when she's angry. All those things keep me sane.. Until Julia comes into figure form. I known that this is the Julia of my nightmares, This isn't the Julia Valerie Matthews that I fell in love with, the one who would care for me and love me. The real Julia is out there, possibly right here, caring for the insane. The nightmarish one needs to leave.. But I know she won't. She'll never leave me alone. A haunting worse than anyone could imagine. The urge than came on suddenly. "No." I whimpered. I hated these urges.. Because in the end.. I give into them. The urge to break my flesh open and watch the blood, feel the pain Clare caused.. Everybody caused. "Please.." I growled. I could feel it, I lifted my hand and felt it launch onto my forearm, ripping the bandages apart, until finding the unhealed wound. I dug my fingernails into the wound until I screamed. The flesh fell onto the floor and I continued to rip and tear more. "Elijah!" Rachel shouted from the door. She rushed to me, but I swiftly bit her arm.. Hard. "Dammit!" She cursed. Her arm started to bleed and I snarled and continued to rip and tear. The needle found my veins once again. I removed my bloody fingernails and slouched over, feeling my eyes roll into the back of my head as the images of Clare began.
"So.. Had another episode, Eli?" Adam asked from the chair he sat. There was space between him and me. He looked at me and felt pity for me. I could tell. Everyone pitied the sixteen year old with schizophrenia. Who wouldn't? I nodded feverishly. I rocked back and forth in my straightjacket. I hated the feeling of your arms no longer in use. It's like they took it away from you. "I'm sorry." Adam said. I replied in no way. I never replied when he said he's sorry. We sat there in silence. "Oh.. Jenna had Bethany." Adam said with a slight smile. My head rose. "Bethany?" I asked in a small voice. Adam nodded. "There's a picture of her.. Do you want to see it Eli?" Adam asked, his voice slow. He sat there waiting for my response. I looked at his nervous blue eyes and nodded. Adam smiled nervously and rose from his chair. The nurse stood up to stop him, but Adam raised his hand. "I've got this. He won't hurt me." Adam said, a bit of unsure in his voice. Adam approached me and I sat where I was. Adam sat in front of me and pulled a picture from his pocket, holding it up so I could it. Jenna was laying upright in a hospital bed, her face haggard, her hair a mess. In her arms was a pale little girl, with her father's brown eyes, but her mother's blond hair. "Bethany." I said in a choked voice. Adam nodded. "Is she nice?" I asked, treating her like a adult. Adam nodded. "She's very sweet. She likes to pull hair. She almost pulled Cla-" Adam stopped mid sentence and I knew why. I didn't push further and the nurse in the corner watching intently. On the edge of her seat. "My picture?" I asked, looking at him. Adam looked back at the nurse and she nodded. "Yes. This is your picture, Eli." Adam confirmed. I slightly smiled. "When do I meet her?" Adam had a scared look on his face. "Eli.. You can't see Bethany." With those words, I felt myself snapping. "WHY NOT?" I shouted, trying to rip myself from the jacket. The nurse got up and pushed Adam towards the door. Adam dropped the picture on the floor as he was escorted out by the nurse. My anger started to vanish as I stared at the picture. From the corner of the picture, I could make out Clare's blurry face. I continued to stare for as long as my eyelids would stay open.
Yeah, it wasn't THAT long. But next chapter will! I wanted you guys to see what Eli was up to.. Poor guy. I do feel for him, I feel bad for making him so damaged, but I had too! && there's a small description of Bethany. KC's brown eyes and Jenna's blond hair. More on Jenna and Bethany next chapter with Clare :DDD. OHHH! && don't forget too…
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