Seven Months Later

I hadn't seen him in months, Alek. The name still felt wrong coming from my mouth- like maybe a posion or something. I stood in front of the mirror wall hands on the white dress I was wearing. "I still love this one" I told Jasmine who didn't have any excuses for Alek's disappearence. We had somehow moved past the missing mai, and gone on to happier things. Things like a wedding, my wedding. Johnston and I had moved pretty fast, but kept up with tradition all the same. Marriage was hard to swallow, but it wasn't an option with me. Being the Uniter caused problems, and if I didn't wed soon enough armies of mai males would be outside my window and I would have myown reality T.V. show. (That's a joke)

A lot had happened in the seven months, a lot more than the seven months before it and a lot less than I wanted. I guess I knew how my mom felt now, I couldn't help but feel so angry that I would never know where Alek was in this world. He could be a state over or seas away, I still wouldn't know. Brian had died of an attack wound, I had gone to his funeral actually, I was the only one that went to it. He had joined forces with us at the last minute and people had rumored he was a double spy. I didn't have time for rumors, he saved Amy's life once for me. That ensured a good person some where. In my book, he had died a trustful friend and that was it. He got over his love for me when another girl came along and I was grateful for that. Though, she had only cared about the money. Amy and Paul had split for a good two months and then gotten back together in time for me to proposed to. Paul never really got over Alek either, and sometimes he was the only one I had to be sympathetic with. Valentina gladly accepted to joining of two PRIDES and so had everyone else that I knew of. My mother found out my little secret through a few late nights and slips of words out of Johnston's mouth.

I didn't know why I found this all so bitter-sweet, Because you wish it was him, I thought to myself as I exhaled. This felt like more than a job any ways. I loved Johnston, Okay. I loved him with parts of my heart but the other parts were reserved for that good friend I had lost. I don't know how many un-answered messages I sent him. I didn't know how many times I had called him late at night because he crossed my mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Jasmine asked me as I faced her, I felt the heat rise on my face.

"Bridesmaid dresses" I lied and stepped back into the dressing room taking off that dress and hanging it up. I had only a few days until I was no longer Chloe King. It was like a montage going through my head of 'Hey, King' or 'Funny King's and I was more than upset about giving up that name. I walked out wearing my normal clothes and looked at Jasmine, she was holding up all these crazy dresses.

"I like the bridesmaid dresses" Jasmine said, "They're blue and stylish"

"I'm just thinking about how they'll play out with everything" I faked a laugh and then walked out the door with Jasmine by my side. I wished Amy had come with me, but she had some kind of paper due.

"It'll be amazing" She promised as we got in her car, in the back of my mind I was excited. Maybe once I was married I could get that smug british mai out of my head. I could move on finally.

"I need to go see Paul" I told her, I need to cry or I need to talk about how I've been feeling lately so he can tell me the facts.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Paul lately"

"Just trying to keep my human friends close" I smiled, "Making sure he doesn't ask any embarrassing questions ya know?"

"Please do, I swear he asked me the other day if we kept the litter-box in the laundry room or in our bedrooms" She pulled up to the little house, I got out of the car and waved goodbye. I walked up to Paul's room.

"Paul" I said in a teary voice "I don't think I can do this"

"It's not about love, it's about business think of it that way" He said nose in a comic book "I'm not being unsympathetic it's just that seems to be the best idea"

I contemplated what he was saying, treat this like a deal, not like an actual marriage and lie my way through laugh. Sounds political. "I'm getting married Paul, married. It's not like I'm shaking hands with the guy this is for life and WHO knows what he'll want honey-moon night" Stressing about it Paul put his arm around my shoulder "I wish I hadn't of said those things to him"

"It was his choice to walk away"

"How come I feel like everyone knows something I don't" I put my head in my hands letting my hair fall over them, I waited for an answer but didn't hear it. "I feel like my mom"

"Waiting without a word, Chloe... I think it's time to move on" Had Paul moved on? Had he forgotten about Alek himself like everyone seemed to forget that he was a big part of this life I lived. Like he hadn't sat in the pouring rain for me and like he hadn't kissed me, like we hadn't laughed together or made inside jokes together. Watched movies and thrown snacks at each other. Like I never loved him.

Cause that's what happened, he went away and I fell more in love with his memory and what the good times were. I fell in love with what he had done for me and I fell in love with his hair, and his smile- the way I would surf through my contacts looking for someone to text when I was bored and hesitate over his disconnected number and that picture.

"I think it's time for me to go" I said making that quick visit the final for the week. I had to do this, I couldn't avoid getting married. It was my job. I could avoid the feelings and sleeping with that guy. Say it's some kind of thing I promised myself.

Johnston had a sweet smile, and a good heart but wandering eyes that were hard to ignore. I wish he'd just sleep with someone else or have me catch him with someone else so I could call this off and then try to move on but it wasn't like that in the real world. Can't always have what I want, and what I wanted was Alek.