A/N: So, it would appear as though many of you want an epilogue...challenge accepted! You really shouldn't look forward to it though, because I'm horrible when it comes to writing happy endings...OTL In the meantime here's a filler-ish chapter~
This is what happens when I try to cram so many things into one chapter...a big mess OTL Anyways, this is just an extra and would have been placed somewhere after chapter 4. I'm sorry if it's junk...but I'm not really used to writing dialogue and what not when there are more than two people present (because then I confuse myself on who's talking) T_T
Warnings: Francis being himself, Alfred being a sneaky bastard, Arthur being the lovesick fool, and Matthew being the one behind all of this...just the usual in this fic~
It's been so long since Matthew had such a peaceful sleep. Sure, he's still sleeping on the couch due to his evil brother's tyranny, but for one night it was nothing but glorious dreams of hockey, the heavenly smell of pancakes, and the sweet sound of the smoke detector going off…
"What the hell? Alfred!" The photographer jolted up from the couch and instinctively sought out his older brother. He found him in the kitchen next to the source of the commotion.
"You haven't lived until you try one of my omelets!" The bright blond exclaimed, reaching for a heaping bowl of grated cheese. Grabbing a handful of it, he sprinkled it into the fuming frying pan. "BAM!"
"Turn it off!" The younger yelled over the incessant beeping of the smoke detector, his eyes already stinging from the smoke clouding the whole kitchen.
"No way! They're almost done,"
"They're burning!"
Alfred stared at his breakfast, the eggs brown and almost seared black around the edges. "Naw, they taste good like that!" He gave it one more thoughtful look before adding "But you're right, it's missing something…more cheese!" And proceeded to dump the whole bowl of cheddar into the frying pan, aggravating it further as it hissed and sizzled.
Giving up trying to stop his demented brother, Matthew instead made better use of himself and opened the window next to the kitchen to let some of the smoke escape. Once this was done, he finally turned off the smoke detector, lest he wanted the firefighters to come barging into his apartment. "I swear you're more trouble than you're worth," he complained aloud. It wasn't a good sign when he heard Alfred snicker.
"Oh really now?" The older brother finally turned off the stove, scraping his breakfast off the pan to set onto a dish. "May I remind you that you're-"
Both brothers heard someone knocking on the door. Speak of the devil…
Almost instinctively Alfred headed for the hills (in this case Matthew's bedroom) and locked the door as Matthew went over to the entrance, ready to greet a probably enraged landlord.
But instead of a grumpy stiff of an Englishman, a blond with wavy hair and stubble was in front of his doorway: Francis Bonnefoy.
"Francis?" Before he can say anything else, he was pulled into a hug by the newcomer.
"Mathieu! I'm so glad you haven't forgotten about yours truly," the blond laughed lightly, patting the other's head affectionately. He then eyed the scene behind the younger blond. "And, I take it you were in the middle of something?"
Still awed by what he saw before him, Matthew couldn't help but ask "But I thought you moved back to France? Why are you here?"
"Oh mon cher, I'm simply here on vacation; and of course I had to see how mon petite Mathieu was doing,"
"I'm doing well, thank you," the photographer smiled warmly before remembering something. Turning his head back into the living room he called out "Hey Al, it's okay, you can come out now!"
At first Alfred opened the bedroom door only a crack to make sure the coast was clear, but eventually stepped out of the room and to his brother's side when he realized the blond in front of Matthew wasn't Arthur.
"Alfred, this is Francis, my old landlord, he's come here from France," Matthew started the introductions.
Alfred extended his hand and smiled in good humor. "Nice you meet ya, Francis, I'm-"
"Alfred, oui? I've heard everything about you from Mathieu," The Frenchman was quick to respond, reaching out for Alfred's face and kissing him on both cheeks before the American could even finish introducing himself.
"It's okay Al, it's normal for him to do that," Matthew said quietly, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. He then gave it a slight squeeze as a warning, seeing the clenched fists and hard expression the older donned. He looked like he was going to maul someone!
When the former landlord was finally done with Alfred's face, he relinquished his grip but kept him at arm's length. Looking at the taller blond from head to toe he added "My, you look so much more handsome than Mathieu described,"
"Why thank you, sir," Alfred replied coolly, giving the other a charming smile. He stepped back and casually shrugged the Frenchman's hands off him.
Matthew sighed with relief, glad that his brother could get along with his previous landlord, but upon turning to face Alfred, he saw a venomous glare sent his way from those cold, blue eyes.
This was a trap! You're gonna pay for this Mattie…
"So," Francis' voice broke the stare-down between the brothers. He addressed both of them, those cyan orbs lingering longer on Alfred's form. "Are you two going to be gracious hosts and-"
"No loitering in the hallways!"
The trio all turned their heads to the fourth blond storming towards their humble apartment. And from the scowl on his face, it was obvious to the brothers that he witnessed the kiss.
Matthew squared his jaw while Alfred did his best not to make it apparent that he was rolling his eyes, praying to the ceiling above.
Great…
"Oh, and who might you be?" the question was accompanied by an airy laugh.
"I can ask you the same question," the Englishman snapped before he caught up with them. But when he did he immediately clung to Alfred's right arm, glaring the Frenchman down.
"Moi? Why, I am the former landlord of this building, mon cher." Francis paused to observe the awkward couple. "And from what I can tell, you must be my replacement."
Arthur's eyes widened for only a second before those impressive eyebrows furrowed once more. "So you're the one I have to clean up after…"
As the two landlords argued over maintenance of the building, Alfred was forced to remain where he was, shackled by an Englishman around his arm. "Hey Matt," he whispered to the blond who was trying to pay attention to the conversation. "Could you fetch me my breakfast before it gets cold?"
"I don't think it matters if it's cold or not; it's inedible either way," Matthew commented before complying. He only had time to take two steps into the apartment before the bickering behind him ceased altogether.
"Are you hungry, Alfred? I can cook something for you if you want," It was amazing how easily Arthur could dismiss the other landlord when he "accidentally" heard Alfred talk to his brother.
"Huh? There's no need for you to go through the trouble, Arthur," Alfred answered lovingly but quickly. And because he had an audience this time, he needed to put more effort into the relationship, kissing the sandy blond on the forehead. This earned him a tighter grip on his arm and a blushing Brit.
However, the moment was killed too soon for Arthur's liking.
"Indeed mon cher, there's no need for that sort of trouble at all," Francis announced after looking at his elegant wristwatch. "In fact, why don't we all go out to eat an early lunch? It'll be my treat," he added that last part before the other landlord could have a say in it.
"Are you sure, Francis?" Matthew asked cautiously, taking note of how edgy Alfred was becoming.
"Of course mon ami! As they say: the more the merrier~" the Frenchman said suggestively, giving the couple a sly grin.
Arthur scowled but nonetheless responded "Very well, I guess it'll be quite rude of us not to accept your crude invitation."
"Magnifiques!" The blond clapped his hands together lightly and gave all of them the name of the restaurant and time.
"Well then, if that's all you have to say, I'll be getting ready," Arthur declared, ready to leave the hallway when it seemed like something struck him. Making sure that the other landlord was watching, he whirled around quickly and boldly pecked Alfred on his lips before shuffling to his apartment, too embarrassed to look back.
Francis only laughed that haughty laugh of his and turned his attention back to the duo. "I guess it's settled then! Until we meet again," And with that, he winked at them before walking down the hallway in the opposite direction, leaving the remaining blonds baffled as to what just happened.
X.X.X.X
"I ain't goin'!" Although he was already dressed up for the occasion, dress shirt and all, Alfred remained planted on the sofa.
"But you have to Al! Arthur and Francis are waiting for us," Matthew tried, putting on a pleading look.
"Nu-uh!" The older sibling insisted childishly, laying flat on his stomach on the couch, his face buried in one of its cushions.
"Don't be such a baby about it," Matthew decided to get more physical, grabbing his brother by the ankles and yanking him off the furniture.
But Alfred was quick to react, clutching to the arm of the sofa for dear life. "This wasn't part of the contract! What are you gonna make me do next? Date that Francis guy too?"
"Don't be ridiculous! He's only here on vacation, what's the point-" Just then the younger fell back, landing on his butt and holding onto fistfuls of pants.
The black slacks Alfred had on slipped right off him from the tug-of-war. Now in his boxers, the American made good use of the distraction and vaulted over the sofa to retreat into Matthew's bedroom once more, locking it this time.
The door was slammed in front of the photographer's face before he could step foot in it. "You can't lock me out of my own bedroom!" Matthew banged against the door with his fists. "AL!"
On the other side, Alfred was already planning his escape, opening the window next to "his" bed. He knew his brother had a key to his own bedroom, and that it'll only be a matter of time before he got in. So the best way to bust out of here was to jump through the window again. Hell, he did it once before, and he'll definitely survive the fall again. Turning his head back to the rattling door the blond proclaimed "You'll never take me alive, sucker!"
But before he even got one foot out of the window, what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks.
Arthur Kirkland, wearing his dark green sweater vest and black dress shoes, was right outside the building. More specifically, he was on the ground beneath the window Alfred just opened. "A-Alfred?"
Clad in only a dress shirt and boxers, awkward doesn't even begin to describe the situation.
"Ah…Arthur," Alfred tried to sound pleasantly surprised, resting his chin on the palm of his hand casually as he leaned against the window sill. "I'm sorry, were you waiting for me downstairs?"
Are those binoculars behind your back?
Aside from the blush on his face, the landlord looked almost relieved at the question thrown at him. "Yes I was…" he averted his eyes from the blond above. "If we don't hurry, we'll be late,"
Alfred gave him his most charming smile before answering "I'm so sorry I worried you, but please go on ahead without me. I'll go with Matthew and we'll meet up at the restaurant,"
"Are you sure?"
The American nodded his head quickly. "It pains me to keep you waiting, so I think it'll be best that way-"
"Get over here!" The small talk between the two gave Matthew enough time to sneak up on his brother and grab him from behind.
"Nooooooo!" Alfred struggled and screamed while he was restrained by the other's arms hooked beneath his.
Before Arthur could ask anymore questions, Alfred's figure disappeared from view as he was dragged back into the bedroom.
X.X.X.X
The first half of the car ride to the restaurant was filled with strained silence – Matthew refusing to acknowledge the fact that he was abusing his brother while Alfred was just irritated in general at how his supposed vacation turned out to be.
The younger kept an eye on his brother, making sure that the doors were locked in case the other tried to jump out of the car as a last ditch effort for freedom.
The atmosphere changed, however, when the radio played a song that perked Alfred right up. He started tapping his foot to the beat, a smile spreading across his face. "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere," The older brother then looked at the driver next to him, silently coaxing him to sing along.
Matthew gave him a look that asked "You've gotta be kidding me…" But when all he received was an expecting smile and a hand motioning him to cough something up, the younger didn't have much of a choice. Trying to remember the lyrics, he finally said "J-Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit,"
"He took the midnight train going anywhere," Alfred finished for him, an expression on his face that told him "You got it!"
"A singer in a smoky room," Feeling more confident now, the blond continued to sing as the song kept playing.
"The smell of wine and cheap perfume,"
For the rest of the trip, the brothers were a duet, taking turns with the lyrics until they reached the end, singing together "Don't stop believing…hold on to that feeling!"
As they rounded a corner and parked on the side of the street in front of their destination, Matthew's smile subsided as he addressed his brother. "You know what must be done, right?"
At this, Alfred simply placed a hand across his chest and calmly stared at the driver. "Yes, of course dear brother; I shall endeavor to keep Arthur Kirkland by my side at all costs and keep him happy to the best of my abilities." When his proclamation was done, he bowed his head slightly. But once the blond lifted his head up, it was obvious that he was smirking, those sapphire orbs twinkling deviously.
Matthew let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Alfred's voice sounded so soft…so earnest…And if it wasn't for the fact that Alfred was his brother, thus knowing him better, he could've fallen for his charms as well.
"C'mon, it would be rude to keep those two landlords waiting any longer," Alfred winked before closing the car door behind him.
Upon entry, the duo were taken to a table in the far back of the restaurant where two blonds were already seated.
Oh…this can't be good…
Indeed it wasn't. The duo didn't even have a chance to greet either landlord – the two of them far too busy arguing with each other. Although…it looked more like Arthur was the one yelling while Francis simply attempted to charm the man.
It was also obvious that Arthur wanted to be as far away from the former landlord as possible. So given that they were on a round table, he sat in the exact opposite seat of the other blond.
This left the brothers to fill in the gaps.
Alfred gave the Frenchman a disapproving look after sitting down next to him, Arthur at his right.
Ya gotta try harder dude! How else are you gonna take Arthur off my hands…?
But Francis took the look the wrong way and instead winked in his direction, smirking. "How nice of you to join us, mon cher,"
"Sorry we're late," Matthew chipped in, wanting to avert his former landlord's attention from Alfred.
"I really hope you can forgive me for my lateness, Arthur," The American pecked Arthur on the cheeks apologetically, much to the landlord's delight. He then glanced at Matthew, who gave him a curt nod of approval.
The ruffled look the sandy blond had on him quickly faded when Alfred appeared, grateful that he no longer had to be alone with that insufferable git of a landlord. "You should have come here sooner…" he mumbled.
The only one to catch the statement, Alfred quickly made amends by nuzzling into the other's neck, whispering sweet nothings. "I'm so sorry, did something awful happen?" he cooed into the landlord's ear.
Arthur only got one syllable out when a waitress came by to give them the menu.
While Francis flirted with the woman, Alfred reached for one and skimmed through it, wanting to order as soon as possible. He got to the second page in the menu when he felt someone kick him underneath the table.
Matthew was glaring at him from across the table. "Give Arthur your attention!" He could read his younger brother's lips, tilting his head toward the lonely-looking landlord.
Alfred gave him a scowl that said "Not now Matt! I can't escort someone on an empty stomach!" Another kick to his shin and the blond was on it.
Slave driver…
"Arthur," the American said gently, instantly getting the landlord's attention. "Have you eaten here before?"
The man lowered his menu, gazing into those soft, blue eyes. "Yes, I have. Why do you ask?"
"Perhaps you can help me pick out what to eat," Alfred scooted closer to Arthur, away from Francis so that they shared a menu. It really didn't matter what he ate at this point…as long as someone other than Arthur was cooking the food.
"O-Of course…" Noticing how close they were sitting next to each other, the landlord forced his eyes to stick to the menu instead of the blond beside him.
When everyone finally decided what they wanted, the waiting game started.
For Francis, it was another type of game altogether. The tension among the table was finally subsiding until he chose to sneak a hand around an unfortunate Alfred, groping him.
The blond stiffened at the contact but slowly turned to face him, shooting a venomous glare his way.
What the hell dude? Can't you tell I'm already "taken"?
Persistent as he was, the Frenchman concluded that because Alfred did nothing to stop his advance, it was okay to keep doing what he's doing.
Matthew, suddenly having this uneasy feeling, glanced to his right and swore under his breath. He could tell that Alfred's discomfort was caused by none other than his former landlord.
Arthur also caught wind of this when Alfred stopped smiling at him and spun his head around. He peered over the other's shoulder and what he saw made his blood boil. But it seemed that he didn't need to take any action other than compose himself.
"Pardon my French, but if you like the way your face is right now, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself." Alfred said with a toothy smile, batting away the perverse hand.
Francis took the statement as a hint and stopped…momentarily. After only a few minutes into a conversation with Matthew, that hand once again ventured beneath the table and managed to rub the other's knee. But before he could go any further or even retract his hand, an iron grip kept him in his place.
Alfred chuckled impishly as he grabbed the Frenchman's wrist and began bending those groping fingers back in an attempt to have them touch his arm.
Trying to save face, Francis said as coolly as possible "Mon cher, you're being a little rough,"
"Don't worry, it'll start feeling good real soon," Alfred objected playfully, a satisfied expression on his face when he heard the other's fingers crack. "You'll still have your other hand to jack off with," he hissed sadistically.
Upon seeing the other landlord's panicked face and what Alfred was doing, Arthur couldn't help but smirk. He was so proud of his boyfriend.
"Alfred-" The startled voice of his younger brother didn't register as the American continued with his "handy" work.
Francis was about ready to jump out of his seat in an attempt to save his precious fingers when the waitress returned with their food.
Minding his manners, Alfred grudgingly released the pervert's hand, clearly disappointed by the intrusion. However, at the same time he was happy that the food has arrived.
"Merci beaucoup, madam," Francis thanked the woman for more than one reason, gingerly caressing his injured limb. He narrowed his eyes at the American, to which he responded with a smirk and wink.
The waitress gave the Frenchman a charming smile and turned to leave. "You're very welcome. Just call me if you need anything,"
"Here Alfred, would you like to try some of this fish?" Vying to get his beloved's attention, Arthur tore a piece of the battered fish with his fork and raised it up.
"Sure!" Alfred beamed at the offer and opened his mouth, allowing the other to feed him. He had to admit, it was very endearing of the landlord and after swallowing the bit of food, nuzzled his thanks. "As always, you have good taste."
Arthur stopped gawking at the fork Alfred had his mouth around just a second ago and focused on the blond's kind smile. Heat rose to his cheeks and he looked away for a moment. "Thank you," he replied softly, a small smile appearing on his face. There was no way that frog was a threat to him.
Looking on at the scene before him, Matthew sighed with relief, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.
They look really convincing as a couple
Just then he saw something in the corner of his eye and grimaced.
Francis' small pout turned into that all-familiar smirk as he eyed the man right across from him – his next target.
What is he up to now…?
Alfred, on the other hand, was completely unaware of what was to come until the man who was feeding him jumped from his seat, dropping the fork onto the porcelain plate.
Uh…did I do something wrong?
The landlord turned to Alfred, who had a confused look on his face, and noticed that the young man's arms were clearly not under the table.
Which only meant…
"You f-!" He seethed, glaring at the cocky man and was about to thrash him when a hand pulled him down.
This is turning out to be quite the luncheon…Alfred thought sardonically. With an angry Brit on his lap, he coiled his arms around Arthur's waist, resting his head on his shoulder. A leer from those icy blue eyes sent a clear message to the blond on his left: Stay away.
An amused smile crept onto the Frenchman's face before he casually turned to Matthew again and resumed their conversation.
"Alfred…" The landlord struggled, thoroughly embarrassed by what the American was doing…but at the same time enjoying it.
"I don't like him touching you…" Alfred growled, tightening his grip around the other while he glared daggers behind Francis' back.
Plus, I don't want us to make a scene…it's exactly what he wants…
When he turned his head slightly, he was met with a surprised face. "I'm sorry for the sudden outburst…Please don't be upset, Arthur," he continued sweetly, affectionately squeezing the sandy blond's clenched fists. "A frown doesn't suit you at all,"
Still on the taller blond's lap, it took Arthur a moment to realize what just happened. Alfred, the calm and polite gentleman, was being rather aggressive and overprotective. So now not only was he still mad at the frog and embarrassed by his own actions, but touched by his boyfriend's gesture and words. "I…I'm not upset," Arthur stated quietly. He felt himself relaxing against Alfred's chest.
"Alright then, so if I set you back down, promise me you won't maim anyone?" Alfred teased.
"But of course," Arthur replied cordially, returning the smile with a small one of his own. Although…he really didn't want to get off his new seat.
Alfred chuckled lightly before gingerly placing the man back into his chair, looking at him longingly.
Arthur noticed the stare and awkwardly picked up his fork again, trying to resume his meal.
Now that that's dealt with…maybe I can finally finish my steak
He sighed inwardly after checking up on the other two blonds on the table.
Fortunately, Matthew was doing a good job distracting the pervert and averting another crisis.
Alfred was just about to dig in again when he heard a familiar voice.
"What is this? You've come back and never told me, comrade? I'm hurt,"
All forms of conversation at the table ceased upon the arrival of the newcomer.
"Ivan…" The American said icily, his eyes narrowing at the tall Russian standing next to him.
I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die!
"Ah, so you remember me, I'm flattered."
"Excuse me," Arthur spoke up, already inspecting the intruder. "But exactly who might you be?"
The intruder had an amused look on his face as he answered "Oh how rude of me. I'm Ivan Braginski, back in high school Alfred and I were friends-"
"Acquaintances." Alfred clarified. "What do you want, Ivan? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?"
The Russian glanced around at the people on the table before rudely guessing "Talking to strangers?"
"Hey, I'm not a stranger!"
"Well actually," Alfred stood up and went around Arthur's chair, circling his arms around the other's neck and resting his chin on top of the sandy blond's head. "This one is far from being a stranger."
After looking from the blushing face of the landlord to Alfred's smirking one, Ivan said "Is that so? Since when did you learn to love?"
"Since I met Arthur." Alfred answered smoothly, his smile thanking the platinum blond for setting him up for that response.
Not wanting the other to win, he casually replied "I'm so glad to hear that, seeing as though you eat the heart of all of those you went out with as fast as you eat your hamburgers,"
"What-"
"…Let's have a nice talk…over there," Alfred tilted his head toward another table.
The Russian smiled his creepy smile before distancing himself from the group, waiting for the other.
"Alfred, wh-" Arthur was about to object to the idea when a kiss to the side of his mouth made him stop mid-word.
The younger blond groaned a bit and whispered into his ear "This will only take a moment, I promise." He then unwound his arms around Arthur and turned on his heel.
The two men disappeared and left the other three in a rather odd silence.
"How rude! That bloke can't just take someone off the table like that!" Arthur started to vent. "Who does he think he is?"
"Uh…there's no need to get too worked up over Ivan, Mr. Kirkland." Matthew offered. "He was Alfred's rival since high school and so…the two will do whatever they can to aggravate the other,"
Poor Alfred…he's really being driven up the wall…
While Arthur began interrogating Matthew on this Ivan person, Francis smirked in the direction where the pair was last seen. He caught the guilty expression the American donned after his rival's statement. "How interesting…"
"That was a low blow dude,"
"I was only stating the truth. You and I both know you won the 'Tramp' title of our rivalry,"
Alfred snorted at this. "Please, there was no competition in that area…seeing as though your 'Become one with me' pick-up line got you nowhere." He nibbled on his fries the Russian ordered for him. "…Still, that was one thing I never wanted to best you in…"
"Likewise."
The rivals were seated in another section of the restaurant, far away from the table Alfred was sitting on.
And even though he hated to admit it, Alfred was a tad grateful that his acquaintance invited him over.
After a bit of silence, Ivan offered "Would you like a drink?" Automatically pulling out a flask of vodka from his black vest.
"No…thanks…" He needed all his wit if he was going to make it out of this restaurant unscathed.
The Russian simply shrugged – more for him. But when neither rivals talked, Ivan just drinking straight vodka in the afternoon, someone had to break the ice. "So…I heard you were graduating this year,"
Alfred perked up at the comment. "Yeah, and I won't be inviting you to the commencement."
For less than a second Ivan frowned, covering it up with a smile when he said "You're so cruel,"
The twitch at the edge of his rival's lips didn't escape Alfred's eyes, however, and he caught the hurt look he had for that short instance. He has become increasingly perceptive since "dating" Arthur. "It's not because I hate you," Alfred provided. "I just don't want you to waste your time and money coming over for a ceremony."
"Aw, I knew you cared about me~"
"Don't push your luck…" Alfred quipped, but allowed a teasing smile to creep onto his face. "So…how's your sister?"
"Which one?"
"Both of them actually,"
"They're doing well as usual,"
"Oh come on man!" Alfred raised his arms up in exasperation. "You were the one who dragged me here and wanted to catch up on things…at least try to make it entertaining,"
"But I mean it; neither of them has changed since you last saw them in high school." Ivan insisted, taking another swig from his flask.
It then struck Alfred. "So does that mean…"
Judging by the inquisitive expression of the other, Ivan frowned. "Da."
The American couldn't help but cackle a bit, even if it earned odd looks from the people around him. It felt good to act like himself again. "Are you serious? Natalia's still stalking you? Didn't you try to run away from home or something?"
"I did." Ivan answered curtly, not meeting Alfred's eyes. "It didn't work."
"No way, she found you?"
"In a heartbeat."
Alfred continued to laugh at the simple response. "I'm actually enjoying our little talk!"
"At least one of us is,"
Sympathizing with his old time rival, the blond offered "Believe it or not, I know how you feel,"
"Really now?" Ivan raised an eyebrow at this.
The American's broad smile fell a little as he explained "Yeah…I'm in a similar situation at the moment," pointing a thumb back at the table with the three blonds.
Ivan looked toward the direction before smiling. "I had a feeling he was rather possessive. How did you meet him?"
"In a club." Alfred answered a bit too quickly. He really didn't want to say the truth and the awkwardness of explaining it.
"You don't go to those places." The Russian asserted, now peering at the other with keen violet eyes.
"Says who?"
"Says you. Remember when you told me back in high school that you weren't going to go to a 'meat market' to find someone?"
The blond wondered why he even disclosed that information to his rival back then and scowled. "Damn you and your sharp memory."
"I needed it to be on even grounds with you." The platinum blond sent an innocent smile his way.
"…" Alfred refused to look at the man across from him, focusing on his fries instead. It would appear as though the tables have turned and it was his rival who was now enjoying this conversation.
When the moment passed Ivan frowned as he recalled something. "You're not doing this out of pity again are you?"
Pity was indeed part of it, but not all of it. Still, he wanted Ivan off his back as soon as possible and so nodded his head slowly, pretending to be shameful. "Yeah…"
"You should know by now that it'll only end in the other hating you, da?" the Russian chided.
"I know…but I deserve it don't I?"
His rival grew quiet, contemplating. "It's not your fault you don't love them back. You can neither force nor rush these things. And for them to not realize their own faults in the relationship and understand your problem…you're not the only one to blame."
Alfred nodded his head slowly, still dubious but thanking the other for his explanation. "I guess…say, I was wondering, how do you deal with the stalking and uh…obsession?" Seeing as though they were now stuck in the same predicament, with Ivan having dealt with it longer than him, the blond might as well ask for advice.
"I'm not quite sure if this can apply to you, but I love my sister…just not to the extent to which she loves me," Ivan started, tapping his index finger on his chin. "Maybe teaching your…'boyfriend' to ease off would help; let him know that you still care for him just as much without the breaching of privacy." There was a lot Alfred was hiding from him, he could tell, but the Russian will give him a break…just this once.
"Huh…" Alfred took his rival's words into consideration, finishing up his fries. The advice made sense, but it wasn't going to be easy to actually put into action. "Geez, couldn't you have told me something easier to do?" he teased.
"Nyet." Ivan smiled with his eyes closed. "I'm afraid that's all you're getting out of me, comrade."
Smiling broadly, Alfred got up from his seat as he offered his hand to his high school rival. "I think I should be heading back now, but thanks for inviting me over, Ivan. It really was nice seeing you again,"
Taken by surprise by the other's gesture, Ivan got up as well and accepted the hand, giving him a genuine smile. "Likewise, Alfred. And I wish you luck with your problem."
"Right back at ya, buddy!" Alfred winked before heading towards his previous table.
The platinum blond stared at the American's retreating back for a moment more before taking his leave as well.
"Ah, I see our beloved Alfred has returned," Francis was the first to greet the American, his seat allowing him to have a good view of the restaurant as a whole.
"I'm sorry for my brief absence," Alfred first bowed his head in apology towards Arthur, and then focused on his brother.
If the younger's slumped shoulders and drooping head was anything to go by, he could tell that the two landlords badgered him with questions…most likely about him and Ivan.
"We were just talking about you, mon cher. Mathieu told us that you and Ivan competed in everything,"
With caution, Alfred replied "Yes…back in high school the two of us would strive to best the other in academics, athle-"
"So who was the best lover?" Francis interrupted, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"We never competed for such a thing." He asserted, irritated that it was now his turn to answer so many questions about himself. However, he noticed how effortlessly the Frenchman eased into the subject he wanted to steer clear of the most.
"While we're on the topic, care to tell us more about your love life before meeting Arthur?" The blond had a very inquisitive look in his eyes…as if he was interrogating the American.
"…I…do not wish to talk about it in public…" Alfred bit his lower lip, looking down to his black dress shoes.
"Then we'll simply-"
"If Alfred doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't have to." Arthur cut in, glaring the man down to silence. He saw the distraught look in Alfred's eyes when the question was raised and understood that it must have been an unpleasant experience for him. Although the landlord was interested in it as well, he'll just have to wait until Alfred was alone with him to ask again. He then saw that the taller blond was smiling at him sweetly, clearly grateful for the save. It took all of his effort not to hug the man right then and there.
"Francis, would it be alright if I answer your other questions after I finish my lunch?" Alfred asked politely, sending him a small grin.
"Why certainly." The Frenchman said smoothly, trying not to let his agitation show. He knew there was more to Alfred than meets the eye, but the snake was hiding behind Arthur and dodging his questions. While he observed the man trying to enjoy his cold steak and the landlord who was trying not to get caught staring at the American, an idea came to mind. He needed someone to entertain him…
Sighing dreamily as Alfred continued to cut the steak into small pieces, Arthur suddenly felt something hike up his leg. But because he didn't want to draw attention to himself again and scoot out of his chair to look at his feet, he decided to peer into the faces of the people on the table to get a hint.
The other landlord was busy sipping his wine and Matthew looked dead from the neck up at the moment…probably still tired from the tirade of questions thrown at him earlier. This only left him with Alfred…
Alfred smiled charmingly at the man when he felt someone gazing at him. It was what he was supposed to do, right?
"Not in public, love," Arthur whispered as he leaned against Alfred's shoulder, trying to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.
The American stared at the landlord strangely.
But I'm not doing anything – Francis!
"You said only to keep my hands to myself," the Frenchman pointed out when Alfred leered at him.
What a card…
"Right…" Alfred gave the blond a kind smile before kicking his leg away. He smirked as he felt his foot hit something.
Matthew suddenly bit his bottom lip roughly and doubled-over onto the table, nearly face-planting into his parfait. When he rose back up, he was glaring at his older brother.
What are you staring at-!
Alfred coughed into his fist to conceal a pained cry when Matthew kicked him hard under the table.
"Excuse me." Both brothers said at the same time as they stood up.
"Is something wrong, Alfred?" Arthur looked up when he noticed that the shoulder he was leaning on was gone.
"If you will allow it, may I check the parking meter for the car? I fear we may be running out of time," Alfred asked with pleading eyes.
He only needed an understanding nod from the landlord before taking off.
"Sorry, but my boss just called me; I'm afraid I have to take this," Matthew pulled out his cell phone and excused himself from the table.
The door of the restaurant behind them barely closed when Alfred opened his mouth to say something, only for his brother to beat him to it.
"Why did you kick me you nimrod?"
All forms of mannerism dissipated as Alfred shot back "Why'd ya put your leg there, son? I was aiming for Francis, but consider it payback for what you did to me earlier-OW!"
Matthew made sure to leave no room for argument by smacking the other upside the head. "I was only trying to help you!" His agitated expression dropped when he heard a low voice.
"…Oh…you're gonna get it now…" That hit was the straw that broke Alfred's back. Cracking his knuckles, he looked at his younger brother with a crooked smile on his face.
"W-Wait…Al…I'm sorry, ok?"
"I'm sure you'll be when I'm through with you,"
Feeling as though his life was in danger, the photographer flitted towards his car and pulled out the spare hockey stick he kept in the trunk in case of emergencies of any sort.
"Hey! That's not fair! No weapons allowed!" Alfred scanned the area before snatching an innocent rake resting against a frail tree on the sidewalk.
A passerby across the street from the restaurant, sensing the beginning of a fight, yelled out "MORTAL KOMBAT!"
"You're so noisy, brother," the other blond said stoically and walked ahead.
The boisterous man's cry soon drew a crowd around the brothers…not that they were paying any attention.
Matthew was already charging toward the older, swinging the hockey stick at his legs.
It would have crippled him, but Alfred made a clean jump over it and brought the rake down on the photographer. "Oh yeah! Here comes the pain!"
Back inside the restaurant, where the commotion of the street brawl did not reach their ears, Francis looked at the other landlord up and down while Arthur stared at Alfred's empty seat.
"We're finally alone again~" the Frenchman started.
"You're giving me a hernia." Arthur said flatly, glaring at the chair to his left as if doing so will bring the American back sooner. It doesn't take that long to put money into a parking meter, does it?
Francis brushed off the insult and offered "How is your relationship with Alfred going?"
"Perfectly." The gentleman answered quickly, smirking in the knowledge that Francis knew they were together.
"There's no such thing," Francis objected. "Surely you can name a few of his flaws,"
Arthur hesitated for a moment and really thought it over, but couldn't. Alfred was the perfect gentleman – kind, intelligent, and above all, courteous. They never argued and the conversations they had were always pleasant. "Where are you going with-"
"Then it's too good to be true. You're dating a cold hearted snake."
"You owe me a new hockey stick!" Matthew had somehow managed to tackle his brother down onto the pavement, straddling his hips and strangling him from above.
The hockey stick laid broken in half while the rake was abandoned, two of its teeth missing.
"Blow it out your ass mort! I owe you nothing! Noootthing-!" Alfred screamed at the top of his lungs despite already losing air in his situation.
Around them was quite the crowd.
"Take off your clothes, daze!"
"Which one will win? Make your bets here, aru!"
"Ve, look fratello, street performers!"
"Just keep moving idiot…before they ask us for money,"
"Brother, why is one man on top of the other?"
"Close your eyes, Lili. You shouldn't have to see such indecency."
"Is that hot guy on guy action I spy in front of a restaurant? How romantic!"
"Excuse me you fools! A sidewalk is meant to be walked on! Stop loitering and please move,"
"Can somebody like, get the security guard over here? This is totally getting out of hand,"
"The bastard is sleeping on the job!"
Unable to get the other man off him, Alfred hooked a fist at his brother's only weak spot: his gonads.
Seeing the older's intention, Matthew only had enough time to knee him in the groin before the pain kicked in and he fell over to the side.
After the exchange, both were rolling around and wailing in agony.
"Fatality!"
"Do you know what he's like when he's not in public? Have you ever been to his apartment before?" Francis pressed.
"He just moved in with his brother…so how am I supposed to know?" Arthur defended. "He just needs more time…"
Already reading between the lines, the Frenchman claimed "So, he doesn't intend to stay here for long then…and will leave once his job is done." He eyed the man across from him. "I wonder what he wants from you…"
"Alfred has made no attempt at such a thing!" Arthur already knew what the other was implying, and was plain outraged at the other landlord for making such false accusations. In fact, during their time in the restaurant Alfred has been more affectionate than ever before. He would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't want more physical intimacy between them, but assumed that the American was just being careful and taking it slow…The simple thought made him fall for his Alfred a bit more (if that was even possible). "He's not lewd like you."
"Ah, then he's going after something else…perhaps money?" the blond assessed.
Before more could be said, the dragging of feet across the carpet could be heard as the brothers came back. They had to stop their fight because of a very pissed German who was also eating at the restaurant and had a nice view of the duo near the window.
While Matthew attempted to make it look like it was natural to have blood running down the back of his head, Alfred plopped himself down on his seat again, Arthur almost automatically readjusting his tie that was crooked again somehow. "Arthur, is there a problem?" Despite being weary himself, he continued his service after noticing the sandy blond's somber expression.
"You." Francis answered simply as Arthur opened his mouth.
"I…don't quite understand…" The American earnestly looked into Arthur's eyes, his voice filled with concern. "Is…is there something wrong with me? Did I do something to hurt you, Arthur?"
Before the Englishman could say anything, Francis cut in "There's no point in trying to lie about it, so be honest: Are you playing with his heart for something material? Or is this more of a sport to you?"
Matthew bit his lip, wishing that his friend wasn't so perceptive at this.
This was a mistake…
Alfred looked like he was going to cry, his eyes full of hurt.
Damn this bastard…he figured me out!
"I would never!" he stood up suddenly, almost knocking over the glass of wine near Francis. "Is it not right to treat the person you love tenderly? Am I doing something wrong?" he questioned the Frenchman pleadingly. In a panic he turned to Arthur. "Arthur, I didn't mean to do anything to offend you…but if I did, please just tell me, and I'll apologize for it…"
"The best thing you can do for him is stay out of his life,"
Defeated, Alfred sank back down on his seat, trying to hold back his sobs. "If that is what will truly make Arthur happy…then I'll reluctantly let him go…"
"Huh? Are you going to give up on your prey that easily?"
"That's enough!" Arthur finally couldn't take it anymore and slammed a palm down onto the table, glaring at the Frenchman. "What right do you have to start patronizing Alfred you frog!"
"Mon cher, can't you see? He's playing you for a fool!" Francis tried to defend himself, pointing an accusing finger at Alfred.
Quickly taking Alfred by the hand, the two left the restaurant in a hurry.
But just before he turned around, Alfred smirked at Francis.
Looks like I win
The former landlord saw it and huffed, taking a sip from his wine. "Well played…snake…"
"You…you did all that you could, Francis," Matthew said timidly. "But do you really think Alfred is that bad of a person?" he asked innocently.
"I'm positive." The blond said resolutely. "You should confront your brother about this, seeing as though he's been doing this behind your back,"
Matthew grimaced inwardly at the words, seeing as though it was his fault Alfred was doing this in the first place. "If you couldn't do it, then there's no way I can," he argued humbly. "Perhaps Arthur will have to learn the hard way?"
Francis looked at him questioningly for a moment, not quite knowing how to take the suggestion before finishing his glass. He'll just have to leave it at that.
"Anyway, would you like to accompany me on one of the sites I have to photograph?" the younger blond offered in order to change topics.
X.X.X.X
In Arthur's car, an overbearing silence dawned between the two blonds. For Alfred, it was a time of rest, to finally get away from the source of his troubles. But the fact that Arthur was staring hard at the road, hands clenched around the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white, unsettled him.
"Arthur…"
"I don't believe a single word that frog said," he immediately responded. "It's obvious he's just trying to tear us apart…that bastard!"
Alfred winced as the Englishman sharply turned right into his parking stall, setting the parking brake and pulling the key out of the ignition.
What did he tell Arthur? He wondered, wanting to find countermeasures to erase the doubt in Arthur's mind if they appeared again.
"I…I understand if you have some doubts about me, Arthur…I really do. So if you want me to stay away-"
"I want no such thing." Arthur said adamantly, staring into those nervous blue eyes. He smiled when they flared up with hope.
"R-Really?"
"Of course," He reached a hand out to caress the American's cheek, and to his pleasure, the other leaned into his touch. It only got better as the other lunged forward to hug him, letting out a shaky sigh.
"I'm sorry for my behavior at the restaurant today," Alfred whispered into Arthur's ear. "My outburst back there was inexcusable."
"It wasn't your fault," The landlord pointed out, patting the taller blond's back comfortingly. "It was that frog's."
Alfred continued to embrace the other, making sure he couldn't see the calculating look in his eyes.
That Francis will be a thorn in my side…but I should be okay as long as I keep Arthur away from him…in which case, I'll have to keep a better eye on him…
His grip on the slighter man tightened a bit. It was weird, but being around the landlord was the best experience he had so far during his stay here. Sure, he had to mind his manners far more often than he'd like, but it sure beat being smacked by a hockey stick or molested by a Frenchman any day.
Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
A/N: Wow...I actually made Francis the good guy in this fic...a perv, but still he meant well?
Several things shaped this chapter...
1) The image of Francis jumping on top the table and singing "Womanizer" by Britney Spears to Alfred in front of Arthur
2) There was a fight outside of a McDonald's I was at. The security guard over there didn't do anything but watch the fight too and I asked my friend to pass the ketchup for my fries. XD
3) You guessed it: MORTAL KOMBAT! -shot-
Alfred the "Tramp": Since it was only mildly mentioned in the chapter, I'll explain it here: like Arthur, there were many who were "lovestruck" and chased Alfred down in high school. He didn't actually feel the same way toward them, but because he felt sorry for them, agreed to go out with them anyway. Eventually they found out the truth and came to hate him for "playing with their hearts".
I'm so happy I was able to put in very brief cameos of a few other characters ^^ Can you spot them all?