A/N: Eeeek! I'm baaack.

First and Foremost: Thank you to my amazing reviewers: SuperSumer, sedddddiebaby, Loulock, CandyHardyCenaHale, ccQTccQT, ForeverDanni, 21, n3rdf1ght3r,
Take this and kick it, Just Another Random Reader, sseddieninjaa, and g. You and all of the non-reviewing viewers make me so happy. I've never ever gotten over 50 reviews in my life. I've never even MADE it to fifty. And for the last chapter, it was the most reviews I got from the whole story so far. I appreciate you guys so much, and I thank you for following the story with such a great eye.

To answer the Melanie/Colin feedback, wellll, I guess you'll have to read this to see? I don't think I can manage a Melanie P.O.V. in this story, but i've worked out her part a bit in the middle of the story. (See more in my post-chapter comments about this)

This chapter includes a heavy amount of dialogue from Sam, and a bit of it is repeated from Sam's original struggle, but more detailed and explanatory in Sam's perspective.

Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to iCarly, I wouldn't have a three month hiatus and probably make a movie special of this story. So yeah, DanWarp & Nickelodeon, what now?

Chapter 10: A Mess It Grows

I, Sam Puckett, am sitting alone at lunch. Yes, alone at a table. Like mean girls, only no one here hates me. They just avoid me and talk about me around me. I'm waiting for someone, anyone to finally speak in my direction so I can slam him or her to the ground with my fist or something.

Take my lit class today. He's some middle-aged guy who spent his time lecturing us about the pros and cons of works getting published. He named off a bunch of famous poets and authors, and then looked straight at me when he said, "well, we all can't get by being mildly famous from, hmm, you know, things like web shows and what not." My jaw dropped. Apparently he wasn't a fan of iCarly.

I went to stop by the principal's office, cause ya know that that Ted was always there to chitchat with. The office ladies were all, "The principal's office is for students being punished. Otherwise, he has better things to do than to sit around talking to students who just want to get out of class." Ugh.

School is pointless. I do my work like a good little girl and go home and do my homework as well. Then stepmonster decides that I don't have any extra curricular activities, so I can become Nash's babysitter and let Ellie take a 'break' (she still cooks and cleans the house). Nash hates me for it. He says Melanie explained stuff easier, like with math she used candies and with books she made puppets. Newsflash, kid, they don't dumb things down in the real world.

So now, I'm stuck. I'm miserable here. Colin's the only one who I talk to; I'm stuck here alone.

"Are you dating Colin?" Some girl with bleach blonde hair comes up behind me, biting her nails before and after the question.

"No. He's like my stepbrother. Not my boyfriend."

"Cool, so you don't care if I go after him?"

I look over this chick once again. Bleach blonde, fake tan, mini skirt and pink tight top.
"I care. He doesn't want some uptight prick like you around." I say, before I can stop myself

She looks surprised; she's the first girl to get through a conversation with me at this place.

"Trust me. You're not his type." And in that stereotypical moment, she scoffs, flips her hair back off her shoulder, and walks away.

I roll my eyes reflexively. I want to go back to Seattle.

"I thought she's never leave." Colin peaks out from behind the corner and stands next to me, "Thank you so much for getting rid of her."

"Who is she?" I ask, as we walk out to his car.

"Kara Meijer. She's been after me since she's known I'm single. She won't let up." Weird. I don't understand.

"Okay, she's airheaded and I get that she doesn't seem like your type and all, but I keep getting the same vibes from every girl in this school. What gives?" I had to be forward to get some answers.

"Listen. You're just being preyed upon cause you're the new girl in school and I've been single for a loonngg time. The girls here think that I'm their territory. Which I'm not."

I frown, still confused. I don't get why he's single. He is pretty cute, and he has good tendencies. He's not a total tool, and I think he deserves to be happy.

Later on, after Colin drops me off at the house, I'm chilling with Nash, supervising his 'non-curricular activities' (aka, the kid playing with his hot wheels. Tidily.) When I hear the downstairs kitchen door open and close.

"That's probably Colin. He sometimes comes home to get food after football or hockey practice before he goes to the library for his study group." Jeez. This mom has these kids on a leash.

I walk downstairs, thinking that a snack might be a good idea as well, when I hear him talking on the phone.

"Yeah, she's doing okay I guess. She doesn't really talk to many people at school. Mhm, I dunno. Mom usually makes her babysit Nash when she gets done with school. I know. Mom isn't too friendly with her." Pause. "Yeah, I guess not."

My curiosity fills me as I enter the room, and he looks at me, kind of alarmed. "Hey, Mellie, gotta go, bye!" Rushing off the phone with Mellie. Mel? Melanie?

"You were talking to my sister?"

"Uhm, yeah." He gets things out of the fridge, and starts building a sandwich, face red.

"Since when do you talk to Melanie?"

He looks at me crazy. "She and I grew up together, duh."

He sees me wince and immediately he realizes he made a mistake.

"Sam, I'm sorry…" He sounds regretful, like he shouldn't've made that mistake.

I shrug, pretending it didn't hurt.

"Sam." He says, trying to soften me up. I'm clenching my fists, telling myself to take deep breaths.

"What did Mel tell you? About why I'm here?" I was literally letting my guard down.

"She just said you had some issues back at your mom's house." That's it?

"Oh. Well here's the truth. My father left when I was in kindergarten. I was six, and vulnerable. I didn't understand why he was leaving, and he sat down and explained to Mel and I that he loved us, but he loved some other lady more than my mom. I never met your mother. I had no clue that this was going on, but what six-year-old kid would?" I said, recounting my feelings of confusion, when Mel and I sat in our room listening to my dad and mom screaming to each other downstairs over a certain word. "A fair?" I remember Mel asking, "Why would they be not married because of a fair?"

Colin sits across from me, nodding. "I get it. I was eight when your dad showed up."

"Yep. So my dad left. And it was okay, I was holding on strong while Mel cried herself to sleep. I got angry about it. I would sit in class during parent show and tell days, bitter. I let Melanie have my mom, my personal choice. She needed her support. So when there was no parent standing behind me, reading my paper or praising my artwork, I let it all eat me up inside." I sigh at this, and take a drink of water.

"I caught my sister talking to him on the phone a bunch of times. "Daddy," she'd say, sobbing into the receiver, "when are you coming home? I miss you!" I knew he wasn't coming back. I just hated the reality of it all." I shift my eyes away from Colin's; I didn't want him seeing the vulnerable side of me. "When my mom pulled her aside a week from our seventh birthday, a part of me wasn't surprised when Melanie came bursting into my room, excited that she was going to see our father for her birthday. Perfect birthday wishes come true. I knew it was a dream come true… because it was mine too. I put up a tough façade, being happy for her.

"My birthday and her birthday were two very different occasions. On my birthday, my mom refused to take me out or give me presents. I didn't understand, I asked and asked for something, anything. My mom kept telling me no. If Melanie wasn't here to celebrate with me, I wasn't allowed to celebrate without her. She came home the week after, and literally brought a truckload of gifts with her. As a seven year old, I couldn't help but be jealous. I never got a gift from my mom that year. And as a matter of fact, I think only Melanie did."

"Easter came and she got so excited. She ran around like a banshee, jumping on her bed, so excited to go back to you guys. No ticket for me, of course. My heart was sunk. I didn't understand. So in the middle of her gloating, I yelled something at her of how he didn't care about us, and how if she loved it so much she should just go there and stay there. When what I really felt was that he didn't care about me, and she should take me with her. But what I said… it must've made some impact on her. Because around six or seven days later, I was left with an empty room and no goodbye from her because she never even came home." I was holding back tears by this point, trying to keep strong to my story.

"And then I was mad. I was so angry that people didn't want to be in my life so I took it out in other ways. I'd get into fights with boys who asked me about Melanie. I'd be in and out of the principal's office on a daily basis. My mom, she just… she didn't care. She would pretty much let me fend for myself. She would call me Melanie all the time, and eventually just called me "kid" when she wasn't too drunk to function. I've kind of known in my heart that she cared about Mel a ton more than me, but I've always shrugged it off. In late elementary school years, she started bringing guys home. A different guy a different week. She disowned me half the time, because she didn't want guys to know that she had a kid. And she was always out, working or at the bar picking up guys. So there was never any food in the house and I'd sometimes go to sleep without anything but a school lunch. I've learned to appreciate school lunches time after this.

"I met my best friend around this time, and her friend. We all became close, hence iCarly. But recently, my best friend and my other friend started dating behind my back. Which was a pretty big deal to me, because they were keeping a big secret from me when we all promised we wouldn't. I got upset and kind of ran away. The police found me, and I was taken into the station, to get picked up by my mom… and she never came. I had to go back to Carly's house with Spencer, because he was the only one willing enough to come pick me up. The next day I went back to my house and my mother told me that she didn't want me anymore. Then I spent the night at a different friends house, a hotel for a week, and now I'm here."

Colin looks at me, sympathy etched on his face. "I'm really sorry. Come give me a hug." So I hug him, and yeah. I'll admit it. I even let a few tears fall onto his shoulder.

"My mom, she's pretty controlling. I want you to watch out for her. Nash and I obey her every whim because it's just easier than her anger. She's your dad's queen, and the world revolves around her. As much as I can't stand it, she's my mom." I nod my head. I understand exactly what he means; I wouldn't have lived at home if I didn't still love my mom. Even if she does love Melanie more than me.

Colin looks at his phone, and grimaces. "I gotta go, okay? I'll be back in a half hour, tops." He says goodbye and exits. I go back upstairs and check on Nash, who's delighted that he's finally allowed to smash his cars up, and then decide to do a little investigation. Melanie's room.

When I enter this bubble gum pink room, I swear it hurts my eyes. I look around the room, seeing her ballerina trophies and pictures of her friends from prep school and have the strong urge to gag. I knew exactly what I was looking for. Typical girl. Top drawer of her nightstand, easy to pick lock.

Melanie's diary.

I knew she kept two, so she wouldn't have to carry both around and it get lost in transit from school and home. So I began flipping through pages. Melanie has to have some sort of secrets, I knew it. So I look, starting from the older entries on. I see Cindy's name pop up, Nash's. Dad giving her purses and buying her shoes. But I keep flipping pages, a little further in.

Aha.

Found Something.

'Today, he took me out to dinner. I know it wasn't supposed to be a date, but it was date like, with opening my door and paying for me, and even momentarily holding my hand. It was like magic.'

Okay. Maybe if I go a little farther back… I flip back to the near end of the book.

'Today, I was at the park with Nash and he showed up, and for a split second, I honestly believed he was going to kiss me, right there, on the bench. My cheeks flamed red and all he did was shrug and walk away. What is wrong with me?'

'I hate him! I can't wait til I go back to school. I need to get away from him. He's driving me insane lately. He's been nitpicking my outfits and criticizing all my friends. I think he's angry because his dad's D.O.D. is close, but he doesn't have to take it out on me.' I skim the page a little further, to the last date and-

HOLE-Y PAJAMAS.

'Last night, he snuck into my room. I pretended to be asleep at first, but he can read right through me. He slid under the covers next to me and wrapped his arms around me. No hanky-panky, none. But it was enough to make shiver. "I know you're up, Mel.' He said to me, 'and I know you're upset. I know you hate sneaking around like this." 'Sneaking around?' I yelled, 'There is no 'us' for there to be any sneaking around. We haven't done anything! Nothing! A little hand holding, a couple of non-official dates, and you sneaking in my room to talk and fall asleep with me in your arms."

'"Melanie," he turns me over, "I love you. Not only do I love you, but I'm in love with you." And he kisses me. He KISSED ME! He told me he loved me. And I cried. I cried so much, and I think he cried too. This isn't fair. I've been waiting since I was seven years old to hear that he loved me, and now I realize that it's all bitter sweet, because this is the most forbidden love that I could ever find. Colin and I are fighting the odds.'

Colin.

Melanie is in love with Colin. Colin is in love with Melanie.

Finally, what Colin said about me 'having no idea' really hit.

I sat on the floor for the longest time, absorbing the whole thing.

"What are you doing in Melanie's room?" Nash peeks in from the doorway, curious.

"Uh, nothing really. Done playing with cars?"

"Yes ma'm. You left your phone in my bedroom. A girl named Carly called for you." I checked; one missed call, one text.

Carly – You weren't in school today again Sam. Where are you? I'm worried.

Alright, now's the time to come clean.

Me – I know. I'm not coming back.

It takes her a few seconds to respond.

Carly – come back to what?

Me – Seattle

Carly – SAM! You're not even in Seattle? Did you run away again? Where are you!

Worry. Carly always worries.

Me – I told you, I'm safe here… I'm at my dad's.

I relaxed a little. It was weight off my shoulders to let Carly know the truth.

Carly – WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! YOU GOTTA COME BACK!

Me – Uh, no can do Carls. I was kicked out because of you and Freddie's lie in the first place. I wasn't planning on burdening you with me because of it.

Okay, so maybe that was a little harsh, but I couldn't help it.

Carly – Oh my gosh. We gotta figure out a plan! I'll get Freddie and Gibby and Spencer over here to figure something out

I groaned. Carly and her 'plans to save the day' were so cliché. I was sick of her solving everything. She's not gonna be the hero this time.

Me – No. No plans. I'm staying here. Gotta go.

I could practically hear her pout from the thousands of miles away.

I literally did have to go though. I heard the front doorbell ringing and needed to get to it before Nash answered.

I open the door carelessly, and then my eyes snap open wide.

"Sam."

SLAM.

I threw the door closed right in Freddie's face.

Knocking. "Sam, Come on. Open up. We need to talk."

I opened the door, clenching my teeth in a way so that my jaw wouldn't fall to the ground in shock.

"What the Hell are you doing here! And more importantly, how the Hell did you get this address?" I start screaming in his face.

Absolutely none of my friends know where my dad's house is. Not even Spencer or Carly.

Wait a second. I just talked to Carly. She just figured it out that I ran away. How in the world did Freddie figure it out?

Freddie opens his mouth to speak, and I beat him to it. "Oh my gosh, you talked to Melanie? You're talking to her again? Wow."

I was so ticked. SO ticked.

Freddie steps closer to me, and I start to swing the door to close it again.

"OW!" Of course. He would step in between the door and doorframe to block it from closing. "Sam!" That'll leave a bruise.

I scoff and shrug, "That's just an edge of what you get for the Hell you put me through last week. I will never, EVER listen to what you have to say, Benson."

"I didn't talk to Melanie, Sam. I went to your house." He says, calmly.

What? My house?

"You talked to my mom?" My voice changed dramatically, my tone a lot more soft and I suddenly felt small.

"Of course, Sammy. I was worried about you." What? Where was hardheaded Freddie? Where was the boy that treated me like the scum of the Earth a few days ago?

I hear the backdoor slam, and I begin to freak out. Is stepmonster home already? Is she gonna kick Freddie out?

"Told you I wouldn't be gone for long, Sam." Relief. Its just Colin again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Freddie give off a strange look.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a visitor. My name's Colin." Colin's hand is out, and Freddie just kind of stares at it. "Uh, I'm her stepbrother?"

It finally registers in Freddie's mind and he relaxes. "Oh cool. I'm Freddie Benson. Tech producer on iCarly and Sam's friend."

Colin and him shake hands, and I see the smirk on Colin's face; he realizes who Freddie is to me.

"He is NOT my friend!" I say, and both of them freeze on the spot, unsure of what to do.

Colin scratches the back of his neck, and says, "Awk-ward. Uh, I'm going to go hang out in the kitchen. And Sam? Don't get blood on the carpet. Mom certainly would not be too happy. Play nice."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Gee, thanks Col. Appreciate it."

And there I was alone with him.

"Uh. This is a nice house." Freddie starts saying, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Cut the chizz, Benson. You talked to my mom?" I folded my arms across my chest, defiance evident.

He sighs and tells me about his travels to my mom's, and how she told him that she kicked me out. "She kicked you out because you ran away from Carly and I."

I turned away and mumbled, "It's more than that. I'm not the daughter she wants. I'm her disappointment."

"So, now you're going to come back with me, okay? I mean. I know you can't live back with your mom and all, but I'm sure Carly'll take you in. You're like her sister." He can't be serious!

"Get bent, Benson." I think I just stunned him, because it was like he expected me to just run back to Seattle with him and everything be hunky-dory.

F no.

"Sam, come on, we need you back there." His astonishment

"I just talked to Carly. She didn't know til like five minutes ago about me being here. First off, why aren't the both of you here? Second off, how did you even know to go to my mom's? You could've just called me or texted me." I point my finger in his face, waving it angrily.

"Listen. You said… you said that I wouldn't have to deal with you anymore. And then you didn't show up at school, and you hardly texted or talked to Carly. I'd rather get to the middle of things without having to skirt around the edges. I went to your house hoping to find you and talk things out. So now that I'm here, you've gotta come back. Carly's going crazy and Gibby can't carry the show. Listen, I'll even pay for a ticket. My mom racked up a ton of frequent flier miles from her national aggressive parent conferences through the years and so I can easily get free tickets. So get your things. You can stay at Carly's house and we can figure out things from there."

Was he being crazy? Just take off, like that? Run back to Seattle, and pretend everything is okay?

NO. I'm not going to give up that easily.

Of course, I want to go home, but now? I just got here.

"Get lost, Benson." I snarl, and he's confused. "I mean it. I don't need you around here. This is fine. I'm fine." I lied, easily. My head was so confused.

I closed my eyes for a second, and there flashes in my mind, my mom's speech of how she doesn't want me.

"Go back to where you came from. Tell Carly I said hi. Have fun with your life." The last statement I made faltered at best, it kind of sunk in that maybe I'd be losing Freddie from my life forever.

"Sam, please!" His eyes were pleading, and I had to turn my head away as I shoved him out the doorway.

"I'll miss you, Freddie." I said it near whisper, but I saw his expression change, confirmation of his listening skills.

With that, I slammed the door in his face. He pounded on it a couple times, and then a few minutes later, I heard a taxi drive up and take him away.

I sat with my back to the door, and started crying, head in my hands.

Colin came in from the kitchen, immediately concerned to see me the way I was. "Sam! What happened?"

"Melanie was right. Forbidden love is the worst of all love." All I could think of were those piercing eyes, begging me to go with him.

What did I do?

A/N: Aha! I bet you didn't see that one coming. No, I was planning on this, I didn't want Sam to just run into Freddie's arms just because he flew all the way to see her. Besides, Sam doesn't even know yet that Freddie and Carly have broken up. If you noticed, Freddie didn't even mention it to her.
And what did you guys think about the Melin? (Colin/Melanie haha) Maybe perfect Melanie isn't so perfect, finally Sam realized that she can identify with her and her true weakness. Twins do think alike at times.

Also: Just Another Random Reader, you hit the nail right on the head. I used to be a Dasey addict far before before I even knew iCarly existed. I found it perfect to add a little touch of the effect in this story, to bring a new light to the meaning of forbidden love.

And, to anyone, I need a name for Sam's dad. And I need a name of the location where Sam's at. Nothing too famous but nothing too secluded; somewhere far enough to take a plane ride to but at the same time you could take a loooong bus ride to or from Seattle to there. Suggestions?

Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. Your reviews and viewcount on these chapters make me the happiest girl ever. Thank you thank you thank you!

Lots of Love,

iHearU!